Part Time Job/Hobby

[EyeswideopenParticipant 2930]

Hello Gents;

I have been thinking a lot about some of hobby/friend/socialization difficulties I have been experiencing since the divorce. As you know from my prior posts the ex f~~~ed off, it took me over a year to get into my new place, and I got off financially unscathed. With no attachements from the prior relationship, I am ready to reboot my life.

Being mid 30s, with a great primary career, I want to start a hobby that puts me in contact with a wide subsection of people – hopefully some my own age. Something light. I am social and good with people.

I love hunting and fishing, but that is alone time for me – not too conducive to meeting people and chatting.

I like being busy and productive. I figured I would combine the two. Thinking about taking a bartending course and working part time/casual at a bar. I am not doing it for the money, simply the fun/social aspect.

Anyone with experience in this market? Any traps/ problems I should look out for?

Thanks for your input.

- Marriage is described as an institution. You would have to be crazy to be commited to it. -"If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal. Not people or things" Albert Einstein

[GeraldParticipant 3628]

I bartended in college many years ago. The trap I ran into was I worked at a dive bar and we mostly served beer and shots. Was a lot of drinking while working. A lot of interaction with drunks and people I wouldn’t want to associate with now, but I did make some friends there. It took me a while to get out of that party mindset, when I left that job. I probably drank more in the three years there than I have in the 23 since.

If you get your training, look for a high class joint which serves difficult to make c~~~tails. It will make you better at bartending and also help you develop the skills to be creative with it. Also you’ll see a wider variety of people to interact with, not just the blue collar guys looking to get hammered after work (no judgement there, just they aren’t exactly looking for a lot of conversation, just drink, drunk, home).

No longer can we walk away, we must run. Remove the motive power.

[WarratahParticipant 895]

Ever think of opening a fishing tackle/ outdoor shop?
You know the subject!
You’re working so you can get someone in during the day, you come in at night for a few hours, check stock, make sure your employee is not screwing you, place orders.
Get a coffee machine and mugs.
A late night gun and tackle shop would attract customers, it’s after hours so it would also be more relaxed and convivial.
Almost like a rod and rifle club.
I had a similar set-up years ago, made some good friends, made enough money to get by too.

...And in our own despair, against our will, Comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God. - Agamemnon; by Aeschylus

[EyeswideopenParticipant 2930]

Warratah wrote:

Ever think of opening a fishing tackle/ outdoor shop?
You know the subject!
You’re working so you can get someone in during the day, you come in at night for a few hours, check stock, make sure your employee is not screwing you, place orders.
Get a coffee machine and mugs.
A late night gun and tackle shop would attract customers, it’s after hours so it would also be more relaxed and convivial.
Almost like a rod and rifle club.
I had a similar set-up years ago, made some good friends, made enough money to get by too.

A business venture is a possibility in the future. I just want to keep it light for now. But I do appreciate the suggestion. I work a compressed shift rotation, so I am away for long periods of time, and off for long periods of time.

As background, I spent a long, long time in post secondary education. Got my undergrad in STEM, then went into medicine. I missed out on all those “party years”. I don’t regret it – I am proud of what I achieved, but it would be nice to kick back for a few years.

Got into a LTR/Marriage shortly after finishing school. When that suddenly ended, I was dealing with loss of the relationship, loss of identity, and kicked the social programming.

I agree, no interest in bartending in a dive. Thinking higher end club. Although I imagine that is reserved primarily for female bartenders.

I intend to keep my primary job stealth to keep away the gold diggers. Is this a lark, absolutely. But like suggested on the forum, since my life plan has changed, and I have no responsibilities outside of work, I figure why not.

- Marriage is described as an institution. You would have to be crazy to be commited to it. -"If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal. Not people or things" Albert Einstein

[WarratahParticipant 895]

I’ve always tried to have two COMPLETELY different jobs going at the same time.
If I’m using my head in one job, I’d need to be physical in the other.
Kind of keeping the balance. So I understand where you’re coming from.

...And in our own despair, against our will, Comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God. - Agamemnon; by Aeschylus

[Prefer Peace to PieceParticipant 10809]

EyesWideOpen-

Bartending sounds like a blast.

When I was in my 30’s I used to run a few hot dog stands on Daytona Beach for kicks. Met a zillion people.

I have recently been a golf ranger on a few weekends. Met a few lady golfers I hang with sometimes.

Your Bartending idea sounds promising. (Maybe you can invent a drink called the MGTOW). Keep us posted

[TaxGuyParticipant]

Prefer Peace to Piece wrote:

Your Bartending idea sounds promising. (Maybe you can invent a drink called the MGTOW). Keep us posted

In honor of the ladies, how about Absolut, Bitters, Old Crow?

Order the good wine

[Anonymous 18]

Something very low key and not requiring much skills is looking into the audiophile world. Granted they do sound like wine taste experts at times with their refined approach to timber and simbilance in music.

But there are sites like head-fi dot com that arrange meetups where people bring their rigs and share ideas.

If you like music it could work out. If you don’t mind spending a few grands on cans (headphones) and accessories that is.

I have swallowed the whole better physical shape equates better mental health ideology. It’s mostly an alone process but personally I feel happier and more well rounded being in shape than socializing with strangers. Especially when it’s for the sake of socializing.

Bartending is so different than medicine I am actually curious if you do go that route please share your experience with us.

[WarratahParticipant 895]

Doc, dude, just a thought – bar tending, wouldn’t that invalidate the old Hippocratic oath thing you fellas got going there?
S~~~, what you going do when somebody asks for a pack of cigarettes?
Haha!

...And in our own despair, against our will, Comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God. - Agamemnon; by Aeschylus

[BeerParticipant 11832]

I’d suggest looking for leagues in your area if you are an active person. I’ve been involved in some sport leagues the last few years and its a blast…things like kickball, volleyball, flag football, softball, dodge ball, etc. Most the people involved are late 20s and up, they tend to not be super competitive. Most the people there are just there for a night out, make some new friends, have a few beers, etc.

I found myself in a similar situation as you a few years ago…a lot of my friends had moved away for jobs, a couple got married and pussy whipped, and a few I just kind of grew apart from as they got into drugs or turned into drunks, so I really wanted to get out and make some new friends. I found that the people I’ve met through such leagues, a lot of them are decent, professional type people just looking to get out and move around a bit and have some fun after work. A lot of them are just people like me who lost friends for various reasons as they aged, or are people who have relocated here from out of state and just wanted to meet some new activity partners and make some friends.

[ExpendableYouthParticipant 381]

Hello brother.

How is your fitness level? Have you ever thought of getting into some sort of a workout routine (If you do not do any)? It is time consuming, is actually GOOD for you, and I firmly believe it extremely elevates your self confidence. My now “SPARE” bedroom….is going to be turned into a little gym. Should be set up in a few weeks. I figure if I can spend 45 minutes in a day (which I can), I could actually do something good for myself, and distract myself from the outside noise.

As far as hobby, I have none really. I like to watch sports, play some computer games, read on the internet, listen to music. Work a lot, enjoy work 6-7 days a week. Don’t know what I can recommend, I’m pretty basic and a homebody of sorts, doesn’t take much for me to be happy.

I hope you find some things you are PASSIONATE about. That’s the thing I have found throughout my life– if you are PASSIONATE about something…..it really takes on a meaning of its own. Sometimes we make mistakes and fall passionately in love with a women, so that may be the exception to the rule. I am passionate about my job.

Good luck!

[ExpendableYouthParticipant 381]

Warratah wrote:

I’ve always tried to have two COMPLETELY different jobs going at the same time.
If I’m using my head in one job, I’d need to be physical in the other.
Kind of keeping the balance. So I understand where you’re coming from.

My thoughts exactly. My full time job was outside in the 100 degree sun, my part-time night job was inside a cooler. This was 5-6 years ago, don’t recommend it anymore– rather would recommend STARTING YOUR OWN BUSINESS as a part-time job.

[EyeswideopenParticipant 2930]

Prefer Peace to Piece wrote:

EyesWideOpen-

Bartending sounds like a blast.

When I was in my 30’s I used to run a few hot dog stands on Daytona Beach for kicks. Met a zillion people.

I have recently been a golf ranger on a few weekends. Met a few lady golfers I hang with sometimes.

Your Bartending idea sounds promising. (Maybe you can invent a drink called the MGTOW). Keep us posted

Just thinking out loud –

Hot dog stand sound cool; especially in Daytona. Girls, bikini’s, sun, surf definitely good.

I may be a little left of centre from some of the guys here. I still enjoy women in a physical only capacity. I am not passing judgement – I can definitely appreciate not wanting to associate in any capacity.

I do view them as vipers and don’t trust them as far as I can throw them. I am not a PUA, won’t chase pussy at any cost, but as long as I am not overpaying in time or resources I am fine with casual encounters. Eventually I see myself going monk, but I am a little too young for that.

That’s why I am thinking club bartending – switched in the 40 year old for 2 20’s. ?. Definitely full of tramps and gold diggers, but my primary career will be kept under wraps.

Beer wrote:

I’d suggest looking for leagues in your area if you are an active person. I’ve been involved in some sport leagues the last few years and its a blast…things like kickball, volleyball, flag football, softball, dodge ball, etc. Most the people involved are late 20s and up, they tend to not be super competitive. Most the people there are just there for a night out, make some new friends, have a few beers, etc.

I found myself in a similar situation as you a few years ago…a lot of my friends had moved away for jobs, a couple got married and pussy whipped, and a few I just kind of grew apart from as they got into drugs or turned into drunks, so I really wanted to get out and make some new friends. I found that the people I’ve met through such leagues, a lot of them are decent, professional type people just looking to get out and move around a bit and have some fun after work. A lot of them are just people like me who lost friends for various reasons as they aged, or are people who have relocated here from out of state and just wanted to meet some new activity partners and make some friends.

Great suggestion Beer.

The only issue with leagues is the commitment to set days/times. I work in the emergency, and my days are > 12hrs; usually 14-16. Factor in commute time and I pull a 20hr day often. Factor in a rotating shift its next to impossible. It’s not 9-5, M-F. It’s not fair to other team mates that count on you.

For those that asked;
Overall, I am in good physical shape. Normal BMI, with a muscular build. I like weight lifting, but have hate cardio – I get bored quickly running on a treadmill. I do scuba diving during the warm season.

Great input all. Thanks.

- Marriage is described as an institution. You would have to be crazy to be commited to it. -"If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal. Not people or things" Albert Einstein

[Anonymous 3]

I think sports is the major one. That’s where you’ll meet the most men, and in my experience that’s one of the very few things that women generally avoid. The most fitness conscious men I know, many of whom compete in a lot of things, have the very least women around them. It’s hilarious. I’ve even had a few mothers with tears in their eyes mention it to me, wondering why women don’t like their sons haha.

But if you’re looking to get in contact with women (your last post indicates this) then pretty much anything works. I’m not a fan of volunteer work, but if you find the right charity that can be really good. There’s also getting involved in acting or the modeling/fashion industries.

[TuneoutParticipant]

ExpendableYouth wrote:

Hello brother.

How is your fitness level? Have you ever thought of getting into some sort of a workout routine (If you do not do any)? It is time consuming, is actually GOOD for you, and I firmly believe it extremely elevates your self confidence. My now “SPARE” bedroom….is going to be turned into a little gym. Should be set up in a few weeks. I figure if I can spend 45 minutes in a day (which I can), I could actually do something good for myself, and distract myself from the outside noise.

I did the same thing too brother,to hell with gym memberships!

Eyeswideopen wrote:

I may be a little left of centre from some of the guys here. I still enjoy women in a physical only capacity. I am not passing judgement – I can definitely appreciate not wanting to associate in any capacity.

Not left of centre brother, you can still be MGTOW and enjoy the company of a high end escort once in a while!

Lifes a bitch,but you don't have to marry one!

[EyeswideopenParticipant 2930]

Anonymous wrote:

I think sports is the major one. That’s where you’ll meet the most men, and in my experience that’s one of the very few things that women generally avoid. The most fitness conscious men I know, many of whom compete in a lot of things, have the very least women around them. It’s hilarious. I’ve even had a few mothers with tears in their eyes mention it to me, wondering why women don’t like their sons haha.

But if you’re looking to get in contact with women (your last post indicates this) then pretty much anything works. I’m not a fan of volunteer work, but if you find the right charity that can be really good. There’s also getting involved in acting or the modeling/fashion industries.

A little of both. Guys for socializing with, women for f~~~ing; that why I figured bartending. You meet lots of people. But like you said, women are easy to meet.

Women’s not the primary reason – although it is now legal to screw a chick 1/2 my age – but they aren’t old enough to drink….that’s on the bucket list.

Acting – maybe as a character actor lol. I am not a pretty boy. Good suggestion none the less.

- Marriage is described as an institution. You would have to be crazy to be commited to it. -"If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal. Not people or things" Albert Einstein

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