Paralyzed by fear of accusation

[AsasuimpParticipant 22]

A few years ago I was at collage and met a girl. She was a virgin and after getting to know her told me she wanted me to take her virginity and I told her to think about it for a month and then come back if she is still sure. A month later she did say she was. So we did have sex, but before I told her I am trying to get my s~~~ together and I am in no condition for a relationship, she said she was ok with that.

We continued for a few months on and off, as she had sex with someone else when we stopped and eventually came back again. About 6 or so months in this girl came expressing her desire for a relationship and I again told her, I am not where I want to be mentally. She got upset and stopped talking to me then went to accusing me of how horrible I am as a person and how I destroyed her life and that she had become suicidal. I was concerned but still never tried to be with her.

What followed shortly after was one of her friends texting me asking if when I took the girl’s virginity if I gave her anything to ‘drink’, ‘smoke’ or any ‘pills’ to take. Granted at that time I never drank or did anything close to drugs. Her friend shortly after told me that the girl doesn’t remember how or when she lost her virginity. At the time I started freaking out thinking the police could come to my doors at any time. The only think that gave me some peace of mind is that I still had months of emails and texts from her openly inviting me for sex or telling me she was coming over. Plus I should have several eyewitnesses for how she behaved and acted around me.

So what happened after this is that it took away a sort of charisma or something I could normally do. Before all of that I would have considered myself fairly good with women, reading their moods and knowing when to touch them or what to say for the mood. I didn’t need to be told to kiss a girl, to touch a girl or to make sexual advances, back them it seemed like a sixth sense and was done almost effortlessly. However since that incident although it was more than 3 years ago. I would be lying if I didn’t say it seriously terrified me and I have not made any effort to get a woman since, often time ignoring the ‘signs’ women give. I am afraid that anyone of these seemingly innocent looking women can at any point and time simply ‘lie’ and tell others I did something I did not do. I’ve come to see that its a case of arrest and condemn now and ask questions possibly never.

Now one would say that not every woman is like this and that I can agree to, but the question still falls on the fact that you cannot tell who is who and who actually is like that.

I’d really love to go back to how I used to be with women, without second guessing, third guessing and even 4th guessing if what happened before could possibly happen again.

The funny thing about all of this is that I found that even though I was concerned about her well being, this girl went around and destroyed my reputation and I immediately lost a few ‘friends’. It was only after some people got to know her, that they realized that she ‘might’ have been lying. Because shortly afterwords she started having sex with several different people often, and I even heard it was my fault because I ‘broke’ her.

Any advice on how to move pass this?

[ShineParticipant 1696]

Asasuimp wrote:

Any advice on how to move pass this?

You weren’t her first, move on.

"Society is to blame" Denton

[AsasuimpParticipant 22]

Its really not about being her first. It was about how easily she implied that I drugged her and took advantage of her.

[Ranger OneParticipant 16836]

Asasuimp wrote:

Its really not about being her first. It was about how easily she implied that I drugged her and took advantage of her.

Congratulations: that was your first wake up call to true female nature and glimpse into that spinning hamster-wheel known as the female brain.

All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.

[RemovedParticipant 4676]

No matter how attached you may be to a woman, she will never be that way to you. The worst thing you can do is become or stay attached, because it lets you get used and mistreated. Women have no ability to be faithful, and as such, we should never feel that we should either. The longer you spend with a woman, the more risk you are to these kinds of things.

I doubt you were the first either, no offense. Women use that a lot, to get a man that they want to spread for. It is just one of the many ways that they manipulate men. There is no need to fear them, just ignore them. If you are afraid, you are wasting far too much thought into it.

[ShineParticipant 1696]

Asasuimp wrote:

Its really not about being her first. It was about how easily she implied that I drugged her and took advantage of her.

She seems like she was a slut. To chicks this is a social no no, so they make up all kinds of reasons to open their legs.

"Society is to blame" Denton

[Anonymous 18]

Asasuimp wrote:

I’d really love to go back to how I used to be with women, without second guessing, third guessing and even 4th guessing if what happened before could possibly happen again.

Many men do go back. The system uses them as pulp to oil its gears.

In space no one can hear you scream.

In society no one cares if you scream.

Man up. Go your own way.

[AsasuimpParticipant 22]

I never went back or spoke with her since the day her friend asked me those questions. I was just amazed and have never viewed women in the same light again. Regardless of which women I came across since. I only thought that they have no good intentions, regardless of what is said.

[Anonymous 3]

Asasuimp wrote:

I still had months of emails and texts from her openly inviting me for sex or telling me she was coming over. Plus I should have several eyewitnesses for how she behaved and acted around me.

good. keep the documents and archive them onto a CD/DVD and lock it away.
Or print onto paper if you want.

[GregB0Participant]

Asasuimp wrote:

you cannot tell who is who and who actually is like that.

And you have the answer to your question in front of you.

Asasuimp wrote:

Any advice on how to move pass this?

You move on with the full knowledge that people will manipulate the truth, flat out lie to you and change their opinions and motivations constantly throughout life.

Make your decisions based on this knowledge and ensure that you keep doing assessing your situation often. This is similar to wet concrete, it may look hard and dry on the outside after a few days in the sun, but it will take years and years to completely set and dry.

Best of luck

​"​My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.​" - Clarence Buddinton Kelland

[GregB0Participant]

Anonymous wrote:

a CD/DVD and lock it away.

Put documents in the cloud in numerous locations. Even CD/DVD’s become faulty with time. The could lets you access it from any location, as long as you have internet connectivity and a mobile device.

​"​My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.​" - Clarence Buddinton Kelland

[Ranger OneParticipant 16836]

Asasuimp wrote:

I never went back or spoke with her since the day her friend asked me those questions. I was just amazed and have never viewed women in the same light again. Regardless of which women I came across since. I only thought that they have no good intentions, regardless of what is said.

“You’ve taken your first step into a larger world.” – Obi-Wan Kenobi to Luke.

I’m not sure what other lessons you’ll need to learn in the future. There are many. One would be that she is not the only one like that. In fact, she is easily a solid majority.

Another lesson is that trying to find a NotAllWomenAreLikeThat (NAWALT) unicorn is an exercise in futility. A Statistically Significant Percentage Of Women Are Like That (ASSPOWALT) and the rub is many of them seem nice but you can’t tell them from the ones that are nice. And ones that are nice can change after years of marriage.

And its not just about women: the court system is rigged towards women. And even otherwise “nice” women can be corrupted knowing they have the legal power to f~~~ you over.

All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.

[Ranger OneParticipant 16836]

GregB0 wrote:

Darth Peter wrote:

a CD/DVD and lock it away.

Put documents in the cloud in numerous locations. Even CD/DVD’s become faulty with time. The could lets you access it from any location, as long as you have internet connectivity and a mobile device.

And keep in mind, women can bring up s~~~ YEARS/DECADES later. Always keep evidence of your innocence preserved securely. You might be 40 yrs old, successful in business and then the Ghost of Pussy Past will haunt you with a false rape allegation for cash and prizes (since she wasn’t able to marry and divorce you for cash and prizes).

All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.

[RemovedParticipant 4676]

GregB0 wrote:

Darth Peter wrote:

a CD/DVD and lock it away.

Put documents in the cloud in numerous locations. Even CD/DVD’s become faulty with time. The could lets you access it from any location, as long as you have internet connectivity and a mobile device.

This is the best advice a man can get. Women are professional liars. If it was not for my documenting everything that my ex did, I would be paying alimony, would have paid for the divorce, and who knows what else. Document and save everything. That cannot be stressed enough.

[AutoliteParticipant]

Asasuimp wrote:

The only think that gave me some peace of mind is that I still had months of emails and texts from her openly inviting me for sex or telling me she was coming over.

Keep those emails and back them up in a couple of places. I’d even buy a new high quality flash drive just for that.

There was a huge sex assault case here in Canada a couple of years ago (Google ‘Jian Ghomeshi’). He beat the false accusations from his accuser because he saved all her emails and replies.

Those emails are your “Get Out of Jail’ free card. You should be okay…

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trial_of_Jian_Ghomeshi

[JVBParticipant]

Just horrible. Cunning conniving piece of s~~~ she is.

Peace is > piece.

[MonkParticipant 16988]

Asasuimp wrote:

About 6 or so months in this girl came expressing her desire for a relationship and I again told her, I am not where I want to be mentally. She got upset and stopped talking to me then went to accusing me of how horrible I am as a person and how I destroyed her life and that she had become suicidal.

After having ridden the carousel for a bit, she decided that you were to be her beta cuck.

Emotional blackmail.

What followed shortly after was one of her friends texting me asking if when I took the girl’s virginity if I gave her anything to ‘drink’, ‘smoke’ or any ‘pills’ to take.

This was an attempt to set you up. Had you responded in any way that could have been given a negative interpretation, you would now be in prison.

Her friend shortly after told me that the girl doesn’t remember how or when she lost her virginity.

A common morning-after lie. In this case, part of the attempt to set you up.

I still had months of emails and texts from her openly inviting me for sex or telling me she was coming over.

Don’t think that this is over.

She may formally accuse you years later. Keep the emails and texts. Print them out and get them certified as true copies by a lawyer.

I am afraid that anyone of these seemingly innocent looking women can at any point and time simply ‘lie’ and tell others I did something I did not do. I’ve come to see that its a case of arrest and condemn now and ask questions possibly never.

Yes.

Now one would say that not every woman is like this and that I can agree to, but the question still falls on the fact that you cannot tell who is who and who actually is like that.

(1) AWALT (or EWALT if you must, but then see (2)).
(2) The risk is too great.

The funny thing about all of this is that I found that even though I was concerned about her well being, this girl went around and destroyed my reputation and I immediately lost a few ‘friends’. It was only after some people got to know her, that they realized that she ‘might’ have been lying. Because shortly afterwords she started having sex with several different people often, and I even heard it was my fault because I ‘broke’ her.

‘Might’ is not enough. Fancy arguing that out in court?

Any advice on how to move past this?

You’ve had your warning and survived one brush with disaster. Now stay away from them. Don’t think that the unicorn is out there – it isn’t.

[Back in BlackParticipant 1732]

“….and I even heard it was my fault because I ‘broke’ her.”

Just another way for her to avoid responsibility for her actions and somehow try to blame you for her behavior. Crazy.

"Women are directly adapted to act as the nurses and educators of our early childhood, for the simple reason that they themselves are childish, foolish, and short-sighted—in a word, are big children all their lives, something intermediate between the child and the man, who is a man in the strict sense of the word. Consider how a young girl will toy day after day with a child, dance with it and sing to it; and then consider what a man, with the very best intentions in the world, could do in her place.” Quote from Arthur Shopenhauer, 17th century philosopher

[WisemanParticipant 20]

Ignore her and her friends. Look back from all of this as a lesson to prepare yourself ahead of time. MGTOW has prevented many situations like this so hopefully it doesn’t happen to you again.

[Author]

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