Out of necessity, I am researching this.

[IGMOW (I Go My Own Way)Participant 2572]

So, I come to the internal awareness that I am a man in his late 40s, and am likely a manchild in regards to my life.  I don’t mean here that I like kid’s stuff, or that I have emotional issues, but I have a trainwreck of life.  I found that life lied to me, made me promises, and I thought if I just play by social norm rules and strive for expectations (I am NOT speaking of being a sociopath lack of norms, just the status symbol bit), that I will get far.  This includes the dating BS and so on.  Well, it hadn’t work, so I am here.  It would be more of “Going My Own Way” than some sort of “I hate women” bit.  I am hetereo, but I see it now, due to the lies I have to find my own path in life, and get it to work, and build good connections personally and grow up, for a lack of a better word.

Please let me know if I am missing things.  For myself, I am going to try to study the way of the mystic/monastic/monk and see how they lived, and learn from it.  It is a case of growing up, taking control and taking care of myself.  In short, growing up.

So, am I on target here?  Does this fit, or is MGTOW something else?

"I am my own thang. Any questions?" - Davis S Pumpkins.

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

You ARE doing it man. All these questions show you’re on track.

Every guy is born with a natural ‘frame’ but the system corrupts it.

Deep in you is the answer …. the man … it’s there … honest.

Hit the gym, pump heavy iron. Eat right, rest and get good sleep….. repeat.

Junk the tv, radio and papers. Read, educate and push forward.

It’s there but you must work for it.

[Lazarus LongParticipant 365]

It certainly sounds like you have found your own way and in doing so are walking at least some of the time shoulder to shoulder with all of the other MGHOW on this site. Everything you describe is something that has happened to many other men. Some of us have been White Knights, simps or manginas in the past but have all discovered exactly what you are talking about

IGMOW (I Go My Own Way) wrote:

I found that life lied to me, made me promises, and I thought if I just play by social norm rules and strive for expectations (I am NOT speaking of being a sociopath lack of norms, just the status symbol bit), that I will get far.  This includes the dating BS and so on.  Well, it hadn’t work, so I am here.

This could be placed in a large majority of the introductions here and not be out of place. Of course there are also a lot of younger men who were smarter than I was and have never played the game but we all see the truth. I can tell you that there is a journey involved and you are well on your way, there may still be troubled waters but if you keep the truth in front of you, you will never go off the path of enlightenment.

In short Welcome and take all the time you can to watch the videos, read the articles and of course participate in intelligent discourse here in the forums.

Willfully turning aside from the truth is treason to one's self. -Terry Goodkind

[a bananaParticipant 288]

The only duty you have is to live on your own terms, and live HAPPY(being content with yourself)

This cannot be done within the framework of gynocentrism, because even if you’re happy its not on your terms.

Striving for growth is a huge step sir.

Remember life is not about “finding yourself” as women always put it, it is about creating yourself and being happy with said creation.

Good Day

[harpo-my-“SON”Participant 2410]

richardhutnik  Wrote: Please let me know if I am missing things.  For myself, I am going to try to study the way of the mystic/monastic/monk and see how they lived, and learn from it.  It is a case of growing up, taking control and taking care of myself.  In short, growing up.

So, am I on target here?  Does this fit, or is MGTOW something else?

Creating yourself over again is not a static thing, but very dynamic so be flexible..(find what works for you)

If I am free do define myself That makes me happy period or three…My father always said to me;  “son, stop complicating things, keep it simple”..

 

I was bound to be misunderstood, and I laugh at those who misunderstand me. Kind mockery at the well intentioned, but unfettered cruelty towards those would be prison guards of my creative possibilities. This so as to learn as much from misunderstanding as from understanding. Taking pleasure in worthy opponents and making language fluid and flowing like a river yet pointed and precise as a dagger. Contradicts the socialistic purpose of language and makes for a wonderful linguistic dance, A verbal martial art with constant parries that hone the weapon that is the two edged sword of my mouth.

[RedHeadedStrangerParticipant 204]

look up:  gynocentrism, briffault’s law, r/K selection theory

that will be a good start.

then check out the philosophy section, if you have the inclination.  Schopenhauer’s take on women is gold plat.  also don’t neglect youtube, if you are just starting out.

I think that’s what you were asking, srry if i’m off base.

[JustAProfParticipant 10]

IGMOW (I Go My Own Way) wrote:

So, I come to the internal awareness that I am a man in his late 40s, and am likely a manchild in regards to my life. […] I found that life lied to me, made me promises, and I thought if I just play by social norm rules and strive for expectations…, that I will get far. […] In short, growing up. So, am I on target here?

All I’ll say is that you could have been describing me. And based on the welcome I’ve received, I’d say you’re as much on target as I am, for whatever that’s worth. 🙂

And I’ll add my welcome to those of the others.

[Anonymous 42]

IGMOW (I Go My Own Way) wrote:

So, am I on target here? Does this fit, or is MGTOW something else?

@richardhutnik you’re exactly on target, making things better for yourself starts with yourself, no one here has it perfect, but we do tend to inspire each other to be all you can be, and to do all that you can do, your honesty and humility will make your understanding much smoother, more fluid, able to maneuver, to see the opposition in it’s naked form, there’s allot of collective wisdom in the MGTOW community, I found more like minded men here than anywhere else in my life! Welcome to the club! You’ll come out better and wiser than when you came in…..

[IGMOW (I Go My Own Way)Participant 2572]

Thanks for the feedback.  I have more to go.  I am viewing my path more of what a monk or monastic would do, and leave the world and all this BS stuff I can’t keep up with, define standards in a more sane manner, and live by them, and filter all this advertising and other stuff out, and do what I need to do.  Of course, it involves having support and so on, and networking proper, but not trying to be a pleaser of everyone else, who won’t do jack to help.  So I guess it means some of these things here to me:

* This isn’t really about me trying to fight against some people who have ideas of about what I should or shouldn’t be, fallout from traditional gender roles being games so that women can have everything they want and men get the short end of the stick, what it means to be a “real man” so some corporate impersonal business can sell myself garbage I don’t really need, or anything else.  It is myself leaving all these expectations behind, getting good sources, keeping my issues to my inner circle, and not trying to please anyone, and put up with people who just don’t know and ignore them, while being decent.

* The SJW can whine and complain about my privileges that I fail to see in any sort of way, and somehow I am supposed to placate them, and be sensitive and so on.  They can rage on tumblr, whine and so on, and expect things from me.  I can ignore all that, and just treat them as humans, but do my own thing.  I am sorry, I didn’t start that fire, and feel guilt over it at all.  I had done enough trying to do crusades and am done with that.  They need to being me something, as any group seeking participants do, before I get involved.  And easing my guilt certainly isn’t it.  Is it me hating them?  Well, if they want to think my leaving them alone is hating, then they can do it.  In my deck, I don’t have a victim card I can play.

* This is a case of myself trying to become responsible and take care of myself, and be able to work from a place of strength where people who deal with me respect me, and meet sane norms I have.  These are ones that would benefit them also, but as a byproduct.

* It is a case of not joining crusades to fix the world, join a collective, and hope I can make the political realm a certain way so I can get what I want.  It is a matter of not waiting for the crew to show up and things change, but getting myself together, and making it work.  The world can burn, but I look to survive.

* This is not a case of myself using my leaving as an excuse to give into every single impulse or indulgence, or lust or so on, to be seduced by others for their agenda.  In this, I see reasons to end up saying no to the get women for sex game, as a way to get manipulated.  I had once tried to date a stripper, and I know how that game works.  I refuse to be part of some sort of version of hiring an escort and not get any.  One can argue the same for my diet and what I choose to read and watch.  It is a matter of being disciplined with my life and doing that.  It is realizing the world doesn’t care about me, just wants my money, and it is my job to run my own blasted filtration system on what goes into my body and my mind.   I can argue also scams of “get rich quick” and “buy lottery tickets” fit into this also.

* Going my own way doesn’t mean that I have to reinvent everything.  If I find things that worked a long time ago, and traditions that work, I can follow them.  I am up for anything that can work, and integrate it, getting an edge where I can.  As I see it, this has been going on a long time, the decision to ignore social norms that don’t work, and go one’s own path.

* Going my own way doesn’t mean that I have to be a jerk.  It does mean, if you aren’t connected with me in any way, why should I care what you think about my choices, and what I think, and what I like.  I will look to not try to draw attention to myself needlessly, but odds are, as a stranger, you existence won’t do anything for me anyhow, so why do I worry about it?  Being mannered and appropriate are here, but trying to fit in, just isn’t it.  I can show people respect, and not be a sociopath. Beyond that?  Well, I need to see if something is worth my time. I do play by traffic rules, if anyone wants to know, as my goal in life isn’t to change traffic rules, but I do work on where I can, just not seeking to fit in and grovel because of the pain of maybe being alone.

* Going my own way also means I am not going to care what people tell me what a “real man” is like. Whether I like quiche, think My Little Ponies is cool, or even like a red wine over a beer (or in my case, I don’t drink alcohol) is my own blasted preference and I don’t care what label you give me, or think about.  It is what it is.  The key part is I go my own way.  Note here: I was just grasping for examples here in the above, as for what is seen as “manly”.  I think part of this is a said “real man” doesn’t care what others think a “real man” is, because they went their own way.

* In all this, I just want to go right for me, and realize I likely don’t get help from maybe a few I connect with.  Real friends count, the rest of the world doesn’t.

So, this is what going my own way means to me, and what I seek to bring out. I am up for tweaking here, and taking what I can.  This is a work in progress, so I welcome feedback.  As I see it, it is just being fed up, and moving on, to get a life that works, even if it is walking alone.

Pardon my rambling.

"I am my own thang. Any questions?" - Davis S Pumpkins.

[RennieParticipant]

IGMOW (I Go My Own Way) wrote:

Going my own way doesn’t mean that I have to be a jerk. It does mean, if you aren’t connected with me in any way, why should I care what you think about my choices, and what I think, and what I like. I will look to not try to draw attention to myself needlessly, but odds are, as a stranger, you existence won’t do anything for me anyhow, so why do I worry about it?

In my MGTOW journey over the years, I’ve run into alot of people who took issue with that. I guess they considered themselves some form of god or goddesses who everyone had to worship. I just had to learn to tune them out.

IGMOW (I Go My Own Way) wrote:

Going my own way also means I am not going to care what people tell me what a “real man” is like. Whether I like quiche, think My Little Ponies is cool, or even like a red wine over a beer (or in my case, I don’t drink alcohol) is my own blasted preference and I don’t care what label you give me, or think about. It is what it is. The key part is I go my own way.

We all have our skeletons if you could call them that, haha.

[IGMOW (I Go My Own Way)Participant 2572]

I think I need now to be busy organizing my skeletons in the closet and put them back on the hangers they fell off of, to worry about such things, and what people think about them.  Of course, if they don’t fit my agenda now, I will look to move them out.

I think one thing in my quest now, is to try to figure out what is really on my heart, or core of my being.  This isn’t some consumerist impulse, but what really matters, and finds that.  I saw one good video I thought, where the talk was governed by the rational brain, and making decisions that way.  I believe one part needed is knowing the subjective side of things also, because one thing freedom needs, is direction, or it merely is something that confuses.

"I am my own thang. Any questions?" - Davis S Pumpkins.

[Binary LogicParticipant 2351]

IGMOW (I Go My Own Way) wrote:

Going my own way also means I am not going to care what people tell me what a “real man” is like.

I was actually thinking about this statement earlier. I find that it is a “Control Statement”. Usually reserved for woman, and used to berate or belittle a man when they feel as though they are loosing control over him. Think of the irony in this. A woman. Addressing a man. Instructing him on how to conduct himself.  What it really means is “You aren’t doing what I want you to do, or what is to my benefit. Quit pretending you know what’s best for you and let me tell you what that best actually is.” It’s disgusting and stupid.

IGMOW (I Go My Own Way) wrote:

I think I need now to be busy organizing my skeletons in the closet and put them back on the hangers they fell off of, to worry about such things, and what people think about them. Of course, if they don’t fit my agenda now, I will look to move them out.

Or you can do as I and just dress them up as a Dapper Chap, Fedora and all. That way when you look at em’, you’re reminded of the fine lesson that was to be learned, and how you came out a better person because of it. LOL

 

Funny, isn't it? How women thrive on a mans time, attention and resources, while simultaneously telling him he isn't enough...

[Binary LogicParticipant 2351]

IGMOW (I Go My Own Way) wrote:

Going my own way also means I am not going to care what people tell me what a “real man” is like.

I was actually thinking about this statement earlier. I find that it is a “Control Statement”. Usually reserved for woman, and used to berate or belittle a man when they feel as though they are loosing control over him. Think of the irony in this. A woman. Addressing a man. Instructing him on how to conduct himself.  What it really means is “You aren’t doing what I want you to do, or what is to my benefit. Quit pretending you know what’s best for you and let me tell you what that best actually is.” It’s both disgusting and stupid.

IGMOW (I Go My Own Way) wrote:

I think I need now to be busy organizing my skeletons in the closet and put them back on the hangers they fell off of, to worry about such things, and what people think about them. Of course, if they don’t fit my agenda now, I will look to move them out.

Or you can do as I and just dress them up as a Dapper Chap, Fedora and all. That way when you look at em’, you’re reminded of the fine lesson that was to be learned, and how you came out a better person because of it. LOL

 

Funny, isn't it? How women thrive on a mans time, attention and resources, while simultaneously telling him he isn't enough...

[IGMOW (I Go My Own Way)Participant 2572]

I am going to put up a categories of MGTOWs post in here, and people can discuss this.  I was thinking another forum/channel/etc…  on here, but because I would ask people to discuss themselves, I think it would be of value to have it here.  If I am wrong, please feel free to reply.

I am thinking that people have different places they came from, and different places they want to go, which leads to confusing and arguing over what is a “real MGTOW” because people see the world only from their view.

"I am my own thang. Any questions?" - Davis S Pumpkins.

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