Osho on marriage

[raindogParticipant 313]

Have you seen a husband and wife on the road? You may not know whether they are husband and wife, but if they are both sad you can be certain they are.

What goes wrong between husbands and wives? It is not love, and everybody has accepted it as if he knows what love is. It is pure lust. Soon you are fed up with each other. Biology has tricked you for reproduction and soon there is nothing new — the same face, the same geography, the same topography. How many times have you explored it? The whole world is sad because of marriage, and the world still remains unaware of the cause.

If you ever come across a happy marriage, don’t trust it on the surface. Just go a little deeper and you will be surprised. I have heard about one happy marriage…

A hillbilly farmer decided it was time to get married, so he saddled his mule and set off for the city to find a wife. In time, he met a woman and they were married. So they both climbed up on the mule and started back for the farm. After a while, the mule balked and refused to move. The farmer got down, found a big stick, and beat the mule until it again began to move.

“That’s once,” the farmer said.

A few miles later, the mule balked again, and the entire scene was repeated. After the beating, when the mule was moving again, the farmer said, “That’s twice.”

A few miles later, the mule balked for a third time. The farmer got down, got his wife down, and then took out a pistol and shot the mule in the eye, killing it instantly.

“That was a stupid thing to do!” the wife shouted. “That was a valuable animal and just because he annoyed you, you killed him! That was stupid, criminal…” and she went on like this for some time. As she stopped for breath, the farmer said, “That’s once.”

And it is said, after that they lived forever in married happiness!

That is one way of solving things, that’s how it has been done in the past. In the future, the reverse is going to be tried — the husband has to follow the wife. But it is the same thing.

——————————————

An old couple of ninety-three and ninety-five go to their lawyer and say that they want a divorce. “A divorce!” exclaims the lawyer. “At your age? But surely you need each other more than ever now, and anyway, you have been married so long, what is the point?”

“Well,” says the husband, “We have been wanting a divorce for years now but we thought we would wait until the children were dead.”

——————————————

I think everybody should get divorced, without exception.

–Osho

"Free your mind and your ass will follow. The kingdom of heaven is within." -Funkadelic

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

LOL, your killing me raindog. I swear that that farmer was my father.

Start out as you intend to go. Get your bluff in and be prepared if your bluff is called to carry through with it. Abuse occurs over time. Etc.

We were at a wedding and the women were trying to leave to get their hair done. My cousin was about six and crying with his arms around his mother’s (my aunt) leg. The father was in prison.

My father walked over and unwrapped john’s arms and told the women to go on.

After they left, dad took John to kitchen and began filling the sink with water. John was screaming and kicking and yelling etc. My father asked him if he was going to be quiet. He screamed harder.

My father dunked him. Yes, dunked his head. It is difficult to cry when your head is under water.

This went on and each time when his head came up he was asked are you going to be quiet followed by screaming.

Finally, John hugged his uncle (my father) and said he would be quiet.

When the women returned I watched john’s eyes go from his mom to his uncle. After a few seconds he looked down and kept playing with toys with me and my brothers.

From that moment on john’s life changed. Every time he came to our home to visit he would run to his uncle and say “were friends, Aren’t we?” My father would chuckle, hug him and then listen to what things he had done since the last visit.

Years later he graduated from college then got his masters degree and then his doctorate. The first phone call John made was to his uncle.

When my father died, John was not concolable.

Peace brothers

[raindogParticipant 313]

Too bad we can’t give women a good head-dunking in a bucket of ice water when they’re being hysterical. They would be much happier!

"Free your mind and your ass will follow. The kingdom of heaven is within." -Funkadelic

[Mr. ManParticipant 2916]

I’ve read that story before, but damn, it made me laugh just as hard as it did the first time. Thanks for posting!

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