Once troubled and confused; How I saw clarity

[Gravel PitParticipant]

In 2013, I was a typical 27 year old but I was also a drunkard who had not found sobriety. Through circumstances I wont dive into I became 100% sober overnight and began reflecting on my behavior, wants and motives from years prior. I’d had bad luck with women but wanted desperately to maintain a long term relationship that would lead to marriage. Every relations~~~ ended miserably, culminating into a final one that went the furthest and crashed the hardest. Honestly, I was never going to figure women out. I just wanted sex and to simp up to a woman and hoped that she’d love me and it would work out. I was foolish. Somehow, in 2013, while browsing Youtube atheist lectures, I happened across a Karen Straugn GWW video which led me to Sandman (who had just begun making videos at that time, about 10 or 15 he had). I was greatly amused his content because the deep wounds were still fresh from what a woman had just done to me. I had to know more about this mgtow thing.
I wasn’t convinced yet and still fancied the NAWALT view to a slight degree. I was still romancing the idea that some cultural virtues could reside in certain women…
I then discovered the root of the mgtow thing these men were talking about. I had discovered, specifically the Stardusk Compilation and I can still remember the first time I just sat and listened to it for an evening. It just clicked. A great cloudy haze was lifted and I saw clearly what was going on. I would later revisit the compilation several times. Ive listened to it through and through over a dozen times. I also found Barbarossa’s playlists valuable.

In my first 2 years I learned much. There was no going back. Briffault’s Law and Hypergamy were observable facts I could identify in my past and present. There were low points and bitter remorse at the revelations. Black pills and some ‘red pill rage’ were present but I was truly free. I was set free and Ive never been happier in my life after years of misery chasing after illusory comforts, specifically women and booze.
Now, I enjoy my monkhood and my sobriety. I owe a great deal to mgtow and have tried to make good on that debt where I can. I hope you have found freedom too. Ive kept up with dozens of content producers over the years but nowadays there are too many to keep up with it all. I rely on the classics and a few of my favs. I keep mgtow fresh in my life because it works.

[Anonymous 43]

Welcome amigo.

Help yerself to some beer, it’s in Pistol Pete’s fridge. You are correct, there is no way to return to the blue pill world.

[Gravel PitParticipant]

I also found the Man Woman Myth documentary very interesting. After Stardusk and Barbar, the Man Woman Myth vids only solidified my mgtow monk stance. Ive also come to really appreciate Messenger Rising’s long time contributions and humility. Thanks

[AttonParticipant]

Looks like someone has unlocked the full power of the darkside welcome to the site.

A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!

[ghostParticipant]

Welcome!

[Secret Agent MGTOWParticipant 22506]

I have to say, there can be exceptions to Briffaults law.

But they will only possibly ever happen if it’s a mom or grandmother that really loves you and took care of you. Both of my qualifiers need to exist in order for the possibility of having exceptions.

No other women will ever be exceptions in your life.

Women want everything, but want responsibility and accountability for nothing.

[Jack HarperParticipant 2863]

Welcome!

[Anonymous 3]

Thank you for your honesty. You gave us the story of your journey & it was very refreshing. The journey continues.

Here is where I am at. It’s 4:30 am. I have just made a fresh pot of coffee the old fashion way,on the stove. The smell of coffee pervades the house.
I live alone & cherish my solitude.

I read. I meditate. I prepare for the day in the Blue Pill world

I have found my peace.

Thanks to MGTOW

[Anonymous 38]

Anonymous wrote:

Here is where I am at. It’s 4:30 am. I have just made a fresh pot of coffee the old fashion way,on the stove. The smell of coffee pervades the house.
I live alone & cherish my solitude.

I read. I meditate. I prepare for the day in the Blue Pill world

I have found my peace.

Thanks to MGTOW

Wonderful image.

[WPLParticipant 2390]

Welcome! I remember, back before I’d even heard of this site, watching a series of videos explaining hypergamy, Briffault’s Law, female solipsism, etc., and it was — like you described — as though a haze lifted.

Life is good after the Red Pill Rage fades and you begin to be able to enjoy true freedom, as you’ve found.

[MarketWatcherParticipant]

Gravel Pit wrote:

I owe a great deal to mgtow and have tried to make good on that debt where I can

Debt paid in full. No worries.

[Gravel PitParticipant]

WPL wrote:

Life is good after the Red Pill Rage fades and you begin to be able to enjoy true freedom

So true! Once I resigned to the fact that NAWALT was an illusion. Once I internalized it, any sadness and remorse slips away. I’m content as f~~~. I do not want a woman in my bed or in my life. Bullet dodger.

MarketWatcher wrote:

Debt paid in full. No worries

I hope so. MGTOW really is a gift– we were fortunate to stumble into it. I couldn’t help but to over analyze it and sink into it hardcore. I tried to figure out where the whole thing is weak, to find a reason to go back out to find the unicorn. But honestly, MGTOW as a philosophy is so clean, simple, and effective. And the pioneer content by BarBar and Stardusk are plainly objective and true.

I know what’s real.

[DocParticipant]

They are hard things to grasp after a life of blue pill programming.
I feel myself slip here and there but catch myself.

Welcome GravelPit. Home is where the heart is.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape, finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. Marcus Aurelius

[No CountryParticipant 759]

Welcome

[The Manipulated ManParticipant 1856]

Hello GP,

Thanks for your Red Pill Descriptions and lessons learned.

Your MGTOW understanding of is right on the mark.

It is good to read that you are a free man, MGTOW.

Without giving away specifics where others can identify you, kindly provide some Bonafides and/ or niceties about what you are doing with your freedom.

Hobbies?

What kind of fun things do you do?

General description of your Education/ Training?

Work/ living situation?

Parts of the world you have lived (continents)?

Any future projects/ goals?

What happens when a man finally comprehends the cold and calculating thoughts that are going through a woman's mind, while her eyes are brimming with tears?

[Gravel PitParticipant]

My interests are numerable and occupations unique.

At 18 years old, I was your typical pothead who had no future. I joined the Marine Corps. But due to my rebellious nature and immaturity, I only lasted one deployment and got separated. I hold no grudge, nor do I collect any benefits. I lost my GI bill. But in general, I’m gung-ho and love the armed services. I’m a city guy though so I don’t hunt or own firearms.

After that I pretty much drank a lot and tried out various blue collar jobs. I ended up in small business, a branch of the two-wheel world.

I enjoy metal, indie and classical music. I love using raw mediums to make art. Drawing and painting are valueless hobbies but rich in self expression and confidence building. So I’m usually tinkering with small engines or fooling around with pencil and paint for fun. You’ll catch me watching the World Series for MLB currently and following the Dallas Cowboys.

I also read a little, usually philosophy but my main passion is watching Sci-fi movies over and over. Stuff like Prometheus, Bladerunner, Interstellar, Enemy, Under the Skin…. I don’t game much but might play a little 1st person shooter or racing offline.

The longest relations~~~ I ever had was 8 months. I lived with her. She was a single mom. We were engaged and she was carrying my baby. Supposedly we were in love. All in one week, she miscarried/aborted and kicked me to the curb. I was devastated…. but honestly it was a gift in disguise. I sobered up a year later and reflected. I never wanted to be THAT vulnerable again and be hurt THAT bad by a woman. MGTOW was a life saver. That was 2013. Ive remained celibate through fault of just not flirting or chasing women. I don’t want their company or their manipulation. Its great being this way because I can pursue myself. Freedom

[Wildwalker57Participant 107]

Bravo on your life changes.
My father was a drinker, but after my mom divorced him, he went over the cliff in slow motion, ended up on the street years later, and finally died a drunk. I wish he hadn’t. It is always inspiring to hear someone overcoming what my father couldn’t. Good luck to you.

"It's a trap!" Admiral Ackbar.

[Gravel PitParticipant]

Wildwalker57 wrote:

inspiring to hear someone overcoming what my father couldn’t.

Wildwalker: To spare some reverence for your Dad, I’ll let you know, absolutely no one ‘overcomes’ or beats alcoholism. I shy away from calling it a disease but it definitely is not a matter of so called ‘will power.’ Don’t worry, I won’t descend into some sermon from Alcoholics Anonymous (of which I’m not a member or advocate) but substance addiction is not something a person can just ‘decide’ to walk away from.

I faced the consequences of my drinking from age 15 to 27. Wrecked careers, relationships, jail time and DWI’s….ego deflation, shaming, guilt…depressive and suicidal thoughts/attempts. All of it was a direct result of addiction/alcoholism and despite that truth I knew well, I continued to drink, a lot, daily.

Through failed attempts to quit, I gave up and drank more. Unrestrained and deliberate drinking led me to take my own life. The god damned surgeons saved my life and I woke up several days later. This was different from all the former consequences, I could see that my drinking was a very real mortal threat and Id barely escaped. Ive never drank a drop sense then because of the trained fear from that experience.

Like dogs salivating at the sound of a bell, and people with blisters avoiding the hot stove…I too learned not to touch the bottle. I’m much better and happier now. Alcohol is a depressant, kind of like women in a lot of ways. I leave both alone. My view is biological determinism.

[Wildwalker57Participant 107]

As to your reply above.
I get you, man. I just wish things had been different, and my dad could have been a guiding light a different way in my life. With him, I don’t have hard feelings anymore. Heck, I was there through a lot of it and the pain resonates still within me. As for you, I just wanted to express that I was happy you’d found a better direction in life (How’s that?).:)

"It's a trap!" Admiral Ackbar.

[Gravel PitParticipant]

Its all good my friend. Hope I didn’t come off as antagonizing or trying to correct you. I ‘get’ you bro. Happy weekend to you.

[Author]

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