Non-Believers Lounge: General Exchange, No Crustians

[Beware the LamiaeSpectator 89]

Atheists unite, let your b~~~~ hang, exchange thoughts without religies pushing their diatribes. Post unique authors, scold blue pill faith addicts and laugh it up.

Anyone know the one about the 3 nuns at the pearly gates? Or how about the one where 12 guys are undergoing tests to become the next cardinal.

Ill have to tell you tomorrow.

[Beware the LamiaeSpectator 89]

So 3 nuns kick the bucket and are waiting in line to enter heaven. St. Peter won’t let them in though, saying

“Ladies, please. Before you enter heaven, you must purify yourselves of mortal sin using this bowl of holy water.”

The first nun steps up and rinses her hands in the holy water saying,

“I’ve used my hands in an impure way.” Then she enters heaven.

Suddenly, the 3rd nun cuts the line and jumps in front of the 2nd. Peter protests,

“Hey! What’s the big idea? Why are you cutting the line?”

The 3rd nun explains while pointing at the 2nd,

“I need to gargle the holy water before she sits in it.”

[Beware the LamiaeSpectator 89]

Several men are all in the final stages of being ordained Cardinal status or some such prestigious rank in Catholicism. But in order to be passed, they must endure one final defining trial.

The men all have to stand naked in a row. A small string with a bell attached is tied to each man’s penis.  Then, several nude and tempting women will flaunt the row of men. If a man’s bell so much as jingles a decibel, he forfeits his right to being a Cardinal.

And so they begin, the gorgeous women frothy with desire, descend on the row of men. The women get all the way to the last man who just can’t take the heat. His bell rings so violently that it falls off the string, out in front of the row.

Embarrassed, he goes to retrieve it. As he bends over to pick it up, all the other bells start ringing.

 

[RennieParticipant]

[Wallace_BanqouoParticipant 13]

I’ve got a few.  Learned ’em from the “War on Faith”, a splinter group from the Boomer Bible Instapunk folks.  RF Laird you crazy author you.
What does a priest do if a choir boy starts smoking?

He uses lube.

 

Jesus loves everyone, even little children?  Isn’t that illegal?

 

I don’t mind if Jesus loves me, as long as he uses a condom.

[Author]

Posts