Yo.
I put myself through College, served my Country for 8 years in the Air Force and Air Force Reserves, established a career as an IT Professional, then started looking for the last part of that ‘American Dream’ they promised. So, I went looking for that wife and family.
Married, had 1 child, then watched her manifest worse and worse chaotic behavior, depression. Then she ‘tricked’ me into our 2nd child, as ‘self medication’. Don’t get me wrong, I love him dearly, but she was on birth control, allegedly.
Then I watched suicide attempts, finding her once, some passerby seeing the 2nd (not done at home). This had me diagnose her after tons of research, and finally get her to seek help, where professionals confirmed my diagnosis of sever Bipolar with Delusional Disorder. Supported her, and then watched her choose time and again, her illnesses over myself, the children and us, by going off her meds. Even, had her making me believe the affair she had was part my fault.
Even, after years of being the emotional whipping boy for everyone that allegedly upset her, hurt her, I still hadn’t taken the red pill. Even, after she cut out the middle man, and accused me of being the cause for all that was wrong in her life (past, present, and eventually psychic predicted future), still didn’t swallow.
Allowed her to get me to find a job in another state, move, lose/burn our equity, the first chunk of my retirement paying for 3 residences at one time, and 2 for quite awhile. All, of that, because, the only chance we had as a family, was to move away from the area that was ‘out to get her’.
Even after I watched her delusions grow, me being the cause, according to her of all her problems, still not swallowing.
Still didn’t when she ran off multiple times, several with our infant son, to parts unknown. Didn’t, even after watching her delusions make allegations at our oldest son (of which I became expert at getting her to redirect that wrath at me instead, when she did), and then start as well on the younger.
Naturally a year after she finally followed me up, she convinces me to take out a less than advantageous loan, to get us through the holidays (again off her meds, unbeknownst to me) only for her to use said money to hire a lawyer and file for divorce.
Then we have the almost 2 year divorce and child custody process. Oh, and since she didn’t work (her choice) guess who paid for both lawyers, the almost 20K for the custody process alone, for something I still didn’t want.
It wasn’t until I read the Custody Evaluation Report, I paid 8k for (yep just for the report, not the Doctor’s time, his expenses, the psych tests, the mandatory parenting class for both of us, filing fees to prove I took, etc, etc, etc,), that I took my red pill.
Yes, reading through that document, all 1/4″ of it, how great a father I was, that it portrayed, the alienation she caused, her deep emotional issues, problems, mental issues, lack of stability, etc that the multiple (at 1200 bucks a pop) psych tests she took revealed (WHEN she was trying to look her best when taking them), and thinking there is no way she gets more than visitation, was my red pill moment. Yep, because at the end of that document, instead I found “Best interest of the children”, blah, blah, joint custody.
Yep, it was then, that I took that red pill, and the real world revealed itself. It took, seeing a Divorce Industry designed to help and benefit everyone but me, the father and husband, most of my retirement savings, all of our savings (and over 30K a year from my NET in ‘spousal maintenance’ for 7 years), and my ability to take care of, protect and keep safe my children because I fell in love with a woman that developed (or had explode) mental illness. Seeing the system, that really didn’t care about what was good for me, let alone really my children, was an eye opener.
Yep, that has me looking behind the curtain and seeing how we as a culture were marginalizing men into 2nd class citizens, vilified men for being their natural selves, and are trying to medicate our boys into being chemically castrated faux little girls, etc. etc. etc. etc.
Also when I decided, that’s it for me. Women can be damned, don’t need them, don’t want them for a relationship, bah.
It’s me time, and my boys time.
But, it aint all bad. I did eventually get primary custody. It wasn’t easy, and still wouldn’t have happened if her delusions didn’t convince her she needed to move across the country (cause the system is LOATHE to admint the father is ever the best choice). Naturally, no child support for me, and I still got that garnishment for the blood money, er Spousal Maintenance.
Looking forward to participating here.
Anonymous 3 years, 9 months ago.
