new policy: i don't give dating advice to women

[bertie_birmanParticipant 12]

had an acquaintance from law school invite herself over to visit me. to put some context, i am working a one year gig as an attorney (where i effectively write 10% of the law of the state) in an area of the country that big city folks would find “po-dunk.” we went to an elite big city ivy league school together and she definitely had that perverse mentality of convincing herself that corporate biglaw was somehow her way of “finding herself.” as if finding oneself involved being in an unnecessarily tense and competitive environment where one has to work oneself to death while prostrating before sociopaths for every little mistake. in any case she (not unfairly) saw where i lived as an opportunity to have a “zen” experience–i.e., be in the middle of nowhere and chill. it turned out to be merely an event where she projected all her abandonment issues onto me (father died, fiancee left, etc.–certainly problems). keep in mind i barely know her . . . when i calmly pointed that out and she agreed, she got mad at me again for making her feel like a “hopeless bitch”.

i realized the following (some are questions, some statements):

1) should i even bother going to work for biglaw?

2) every girl practically that i knew who is a professional and educated has this entitled princess complex. i don’t get that. why the f~~~ is that the case?

3) i think my unwelcome visitor felt entitled to pull that s~~~ on me in part because i listened to her relationship issues (to be polite . . . not because i cared). so i realized being a respectful person who is empathetic is interpreted to be the beta male emotional diaper for women. why the f~~~ is that the case?

anyways–thanks guys for your thoughts.

if anyone games btw, lemme know. i just got an xbox one. sprucecracker50.

[FitzBonesParticipant 304]

1) should i even bother going to work for biglaw?

2) every girl practically that i knew who is a professional and educated has this entitled princess complex. i don’t get that. why the f~~~ is that the case?

3) i think my unwelcome visitor felt entitled to pull that s~~~ on me in part because i listened to her relationship issues (to be polite . . . not because i cared). so i realized being a respectful person who is empathetic is interpreted to be the beta male emotional diaper for women. why the f~~~ is that the case?

1. Money and hopefully interest though if you dont enjoy it, dont do it.

2. I’ve found most who enter that white-collar world ARE the ones who have had an ‘easy’ life with the emotional and financial support from their parents, they’ve never wanted for anything and feel the world(and everyone in it) owes them since they’ve never truly worked for anything.

3. I know the feeling, its the mistake we make of being TOO nice. Being polite these days is viewed as a weakness, sadly. Generic ‘Alphas’ dont tend to listen for all that long, or all that well to women. I myself dont ever claim to be an Alpha since I simply dont have a forceful personality but I’m too jaded and cynical to be a Beta either. Welcome to the grey

"If you can fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds' worth of distance run,"

[bertie_birmanParticipant 12]

thank you for your well articulated insights and for a new term. i guess i am of the grey. for years i thought something was wrong with me because my preferences and behaviors didn’t conform to expectations. i don’t f~~~ing feel like trying to project myself as “alpha” according to some paradigm i don’t understand. it’s exhausting. i also dislike having to in essence be on “dating” behavior all the time even if i’ve been with someone a long time. i can understand i suppose how others make those choices. but for me, yea, of course on some level it depresses me that my sex life isn’t good. and i’m not saying that i can’t train myself or that i haven’t had success (e.g., i could always find a reliable f~~~ within a week on okcupid in nyc). i’m not even saying that there’s “no one out there for me.” even finding a screw is highly time consuming and inefficient . . . and all that for a quick pop. i realized recently that i thought i needed to find a woman who would love and accept me to prove to myself that there wasn’t something wrong with me (i think it’s due to being a rather loner nerd who’s moved around 14 times). screw that. i just really don’t care. now, i’m thoroughly enjoying spending time by myself because i can do whatever the hell i want (legally for the most part–the only exception being recreational drugs like weed and hallucinogens). what’s your definition of the grey?

[RoyDalParticipant]

Should you work for biglaw?

[…] involved being in an unnecessarily tense and competitive environment where one has to work oneself to death while prostrating before sociopaths for every little mistake.

Speaking for myself, if I tried to work in such an environment, I’d get a case of ulcers. It sounds like an utterly miserably way to spend my life. I’ve got all the misery I need without inflicting more of it on myself.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[FitzBonesParticipant 304]

i also dislike having to in essence be on “dating” behavior all the time even if i’ve been with someone a long time.

What I’ve learned is to NOT put on any dating behaviours; I made that mistake too and was too nice, too forgiving and generally let myself get trod over because I kept thinking she’d grow up.. silly me.

of course on some level it depresses me that my sex life isn’t good

I wouldnt worry too much about whether a sex life is ‘good’ or ‘bad’ simply revel in the knowledge you’re not getting f~~~ed over financially, emotionally or physically for an ungrateful piece of ass.

i’m not even saying that there’s “no one out there for me.”

My best mate has told me quite repeatedly that the trick to keeping a woman is to ‘train’ her from the get-go. Let her know exactly who, and what you are and especially where she stands in your life. Shes not chained to you and by all means if she doesnt like something she can leave. I havent proven this to myself yet which is why I added the qualifier but I know his missus fairly well and she doesnt pull any of the usual s~~~ since he will not allow it.

i realized recently that i thought i needed to find a woman who would love and accept me to prove to myself that there wasn’t something wrong with me

A very common misconception with folks like us; being neither alpha nor beta in behavioural mannerisms. Glad to see that you’ve grown and developed past that, too few do.

what’s your definition of the grey?

I honestly dont really know, all I can say for certain in regards to myself is that I dont fit into the stereotypical ‘Alpha’ or ‘Beta’ male behavioural patterns.
In real life, I’m a quiet-spoken and quite mild-mannered. I avoid physical disputes since I’m not built for it, nor have I undertaken any training in that regard yet. I dont partake in any sports, nor any grandstanding or ‘proving myself as a man to other men’ sort of thing I see alot of men do.
I’m also not a beta since I wont back down from fights if they DO come my way, nor will I bend over backwards for anyone. Gone are the days where I allow people to walk over me and I’ll never allow it to happen again. Especially with women, I just dont give a s~~~ anymore.

"If you can fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds' worth of distance run,"

[Author]

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