New from USA, age 53

[lasttrySpectator -13]

Hi everyone,

I originally posted the following on happierabroad.com, but they told me I’m in the wrong place and come here. Okay.</div>

The reason I was in that other forum was because I’m thinking of going overseas to look for women, since it seems pretty hopeless here in the US. I’m not MGTOW in the sense of  completely giving up on partner sex, and I never plan to go that far, but I’ve never really gone out of my way to get them either. Masturbation looked good when I was 13, it looked good during my college years when I turned down lots of opportunities to lose my virginity, it looked good at age 27, after I finally lost my virginity, it looked good 99.9% of the time in my 30’s when I found it easy to get girlfriends (the .1% is the time actually engaged in the sex act with a cooperative woman), it looked good during a ten-year spell starting about age 42 when I gave up on sex, it looked good after deciding to break the dry spell back in June of this year, then a month later discarding the woman when she started to become a PITA (not that I was every really that attracted to her), and continues to look good now, even though I’ve been seeing a semi-pro escort for the past month (met her on seekingarrangement.com) who I’ll probably stop seeing pretty soon, because I’m finding paid sex to be boring, worse than masturbating to fantasies of women who actually like the sex.

Real sex with a partner is simply not that much big a deal, at least not to me. More than anything, I wanted to retire young, because I always hated working and not having freedom to spend my time as a I chose. Lack of freedom and lack of money is what really made me unhappy, not the lack of a woman and especially not the lack of children, who I never wanted. And I saw early on that women could potentially interfere with early retirement, and that is why I avoided them for the most part. I made a few slips during my late 20’s, once to lose my virginity and then again to get some more experience. Both times, the women tried to get pregnant on me because they saw I had a good job and probably had a lot of money saved up too. (I couldn’t help blabbing about saving and investing and similar money topics, since these topics obsessed me.) Both said condoms made them sore, then they said the birth control pill was making them sick. At least they gave me hints of what they were up to. I made sure to sabotage these relationships pronto and go back to being alone. Finally I met a girl who I liked very much as a friend/soulmate. Conveniently enough, she stopped wanting to have normal sex with me as soon as she moved in with me, so no risk of pregnancy there. She let me f~~~ her in the mouth and anus only. I mostly used her mouth, since I’ve never have been interested in anal sex. Pretty soon, she stopped being interested in sex at all. Eventually, I kicked her out. Then she moved in with another guy who she also didn’t want to have sex with, and eventually he kicked her out too. That was the last I had to do with women younger than me (she was 1 year younger). She told me about not wanting sex with the other guy, since we continued to be friends. After I retired at age 35, I started to have sex with older women, who were all supposedly incapable of getting pregnant (IUD or sterile due to hysterectomy, sterile from chemotherapy, post-menopause) and then I got a vasectomy myself. My last girlfriend was 23 years older than me. When I broke up with her, I gave up on sex for 10 years because it just seemed like too much work for too little payoff. Cost was no longer the issue, since I now had plenty of money to afford a girlfriend. But being retired made me value my time and freedom even more highly than before, and women seemed like a big drain on both.

Anyway, I’m not sure why I decided to break my long dry spell back in this past June, but I did, and that when I began looking around the internet and now I’ve come across this site. I’ve been traveling at least 6 months/year for the past 10 years, but I never met a women during those years of traveling. Mostly that travel was in Europe, though I also went to Mexico and Guatemala. I probably had lots of offers that I ignored, because I’d developed a habit of ignoring women’s indications of interest starting back in my teens. I think I’ll be a more receptive to offers in the future. I’m planning to visit Spain then Bulgaria my next trip to Europe (for about 5 months in SpringSummer 2015) and maybe Ukraine in 2016. I don’t want marriage, but it would be nice to have a girlfriend to have sex for several months each year. I don’t think I want a full-time companion, on the other hand. I’m probably going to look for women in around age 40, since that seems the time when they are most open to sex. I’ve never had sex with a woman under age 30. They just don’t interest me. The women over age 50 are often the most receptive to sex, but unfortunately they mostly have health problems so they can’t actually have sex. Plus they mostly look horrible (that one who was 23 years older than me was an exception, she’s still great looking at age 76). I’m in great shape myself. Easy for me to knock off 50 push-ups, weight and waist size same as in high-school.

Anyway, like I said, I’m mostly looking for advice on women age 35 to 55 (or above, if still in good shape) who have a high sex drive and are still capable of sex, and who would be interested in an average looking white man, 5’11” (180cm) who is in excellent physical condition and can spend maybe $2000/month subsidizing the woman, for relationships lasting maybe 4 months, preferably in Europe. The high sex drive is the biggest problem I find with women in the United States. I had a number of conversations with women prior to meeting that woman in June, and they all seemed low libido types, and the one I finally hooked up with was also low libido, in the sense that anything and everything was more important than sex: fixing her computer, taking her daughter roller-skating (she’s a single mother, naturally, that’s all I’m likely to find at this point, from what I can see), doing laundry, shopping, television, etc. She appeared to enjoy the sex when we finally got going (she said I’m the best lover she ever had, though that could be flattery, I know some women say that to ever man, though I do have excellent self-control due to my many years of masturbation practice), but Jeez, what a lot of hassle to get to that point, and then that’s all for now because she’s too buy to see me again until next week. All I can think is “if I’m going to be masturbating 90% of the time, why not just ditch the woman and make it 100% masturbation, so as not to have postpone masturbation in order to be ready for these scraps of sex she throws me now and then”.

For younger guys, here is my advice. I have zero regrets about never marrying, never having children and not having a lot of sex partners. I am totally and completely happy that I chose the road of early retirement instead of lots of sex partners. I don’t think early retirement will be as easy for the younger generation, but it is still possible. I recommend guys defend themselves against shaming tactics regarding masturbation. Masturbation IS sex. Yes, if you masturbate a lot, you’ll be less motivated to seek our flesh-and-blood sex partners and eventually may have erectile difficulty with real women (see yourbrainonporn). I fail to see the problem. Masturbation IS sex, except with no STDs, no child-support, no alimony, no false rape charges, no expenses, no bulls~~~ from someone whose company you are enduring solely for sake of sex. You don’t need to be childish about it: “I’m giving up on sex and that’ll teach these women a lesson”. Instead, take the attitude: “If a woman wants me, here I am. Though I might not be able to get erect with a woman for a few months while transitioning from masturbation back to real sex. If she doesn’t want to wait until my transition is over, too bad.”

The PUA-shaming about being afraid of rejection makes me laugh. If I’m such a sensitive type, why was I approaching like a madman, being rejected 99% of the time and never letting it get me down, while selling for my business? Only time I’m reluctant to approach is with women, everywhere else, I can be plenty aggressive. Maybe because in business I really believed in my product, whereas I don’t really believe that strongly in sex. If women want sex, they should make it easy for me. If they don’t want sex, then it’s a waste of my time to try to convince them to have sex. I think women do want sex, but they are too screwed up to realize it. Well, that’s not my problem to fix, is it?

The man does 90% of the work in sex, the woman gets 90% of the pleasure, same as with partner dancing (I was excellent at salsa back in my 30’s and also do tango okay). Therefore the women should be expected to at least meet the men halfway. They don’t have to ask the men to dance, they don’t have to say yes to every man who invites them dance. But they do have to act polite when they refuse (assuming the man was polite) and they can’t give the man a lot of crap if they accept his invitation. Otherwise, I’m out of there. I don’t mind investing time and effort with no return, but I’m not going around with a sign on my ass saying “kick here” either. And that’s exactly what I did with both dancing and sex eventually. And that’s what every man should do, IMO. If 99% of the men do this, then the remaining 1% get all the sex. I really don’t care. I’d rather masturbate than have sex with women with such low standards that they’ll have sex with the sort of men who’ll put up with crap to get sex (read that sentence carefully).

I think most men my age are just as big screw-ups as the women. Just look at those pot-bellies. Women at least have the excuse that the female body does naturally pile on fat on the hips in mid-life. But men have no excuse for not having the same physique at age 55 as at age 25. Women are no more obligated to be interested in sex than you are obligated to be interested in makeup. If there is surplus of males versus females so that you’ll never have a real life sex partner, so what? You can have all the orgasms you want via masturbation. I don’t have tons of notches (maybe 20) but that’s enough to say masturbation is at least 90% of the pleasure of real sex and that last 10% is just not that big a deal. Like a fancy restaurant versus a simple restaurant.

You might also want to read up on John B. Calhoun’s rat crowding experiments. This is probably the biological reason for the MGTOW phenomenon. Men like me are sensitive to the feeling that the world is overpopulated and so we react same as the male rats in those experiements. We spend our time taking care of ourselves, rather than breeding. We become the “beautiful ones”, because we have no scars from fighting the other males for mates, and live long happy lives. Eventually the whole rat colony goes extinct. There is a lot in common between these experiments and the phenomena in Japan with the “grass eaters”. I say embrace this future. I couldn’t care less about humanity going extinct. Planet Earth is doomed eventually, if nothing else then the Sun will eventually burn out. So what if humans go extinct in a hundred years and then have to be re-evolved from apes? All I care about is the next 50 years, which is likely all I have left to live.

Of course, if you’re like me and retired and with excess time and money, then no reason not to spend some of that time and money looking for a woman if I have nothing better to do with it. But given that this quest is mainly a way to kill time, no reason to get bitter about the quest never succeeding. And no reason to miss out on pleasure by not masturbating during this quest.

I can see I’ve rambled on quite a bit. But hey, disk space is cheap nowadays, right?

[RoyDalParticipant]

I went through a PUA phase. I decided the risk/reward ratio was too high. Ditto the cost/benefit ratio. I also decided it’s cheaper to rent a lay near home than to buy plane tickets.

That said, I’ve heard good things about the whore houses of Bangkok. Haven’t been there myself, just heard from satisfied customers.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

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