New Dad Survival Guide

[FermatParticipant 3478]

This appeared on reddit. Not sure how old it is.

https://www.scarymommy.com/new-dad-survival-guide/

Essentially a guide on how stay at home moms want to be treated after they trap you with a baby. What do you guys think?

I have discovered a truly remarkable list of reasons why women are not necessary for a happy life, but alas this margin is too small to contain it.

[Soldier-MedicParticipant 2566]

7. Don’t lie on your back and hold the baby above your head facing you. They puke. It’s the infant equivalent of the Funny Home Video guy pitching to the kid with the baseball bat and getting squared in the pills. Everybody likes lying on their backs, holding the baby in the air and fly them over their face. Babies LOVE this and this joy often sends a surge of yak right into your who’s-daddy’s-airplane-open-mouth. They give no warning. They are vomit grenades.

This, is the one piece of advice that I can endorse with my whole heart.

"I asked you a question. I didn't ask you to repeat what the voices in you head are telling you" ~ Me. ........Yes I'm still angry.

[RoyDalParticipant]

I stopped at:

5. Don’t go on about how hard your day was. Even if your day consisted of being gang raped by angry silver back gorillas, she can probably trump you.

No, she can do her job dressed in old sweatpants and a tee shirt, and no angry gorillas are involved, only her beloved children. Whatever your job is, it does not involve staying home and playing with the kids all day.

Soldier-Medic wrote:

7. Don’t lie on your back and hold the baby above your head facing you.

@soldier-medic, I agree with this too. Also, watch for the boy baby who can squirt his pee six feet up into your face.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[Soldier-MedicParticipant 2566]

RoyDal wrote:

Also, watch for the boy baby who can squirt his pee six feet up into your face.

ROFL

"I asked you a question. I didn't ask you to repeat what the voices in you head are telling you" ~ Me. ........Yes I'm still angry.

[Biggvs_DickvsParticipant 3725]

I would say spend as much time with your little one as you possibly can. Learn to accept that the kid is here now and for better or worse that means that society accepts her authority when it comes to the baby for at least the first few years. Unless she’s a crack ho junkie methhead or whatever, and even then in some jurisdictions. Make an effort to keep her happy.

Learn the one handed diaper change. It’s like caring for any other animal, except this one talks and learns your name. Think of it like changing oil on your car – not a pretty job and sometimes messy, but it’s got to get done to keep[ things running smoothly.

Do what you can to make the mom happy whether she deserves it or not – your kid will love you for it later and it will pay off regardless of how she(mom) ends up. If things get tough/ugly between you and mom, gently remind her that you’re trying to be the best dad you can, and that someday that child you’re doing your best to raise will pick her retirement home.

How his/her mom treated their Dad will factor in to that.

Read to your little one. Even at the youngest ages the fact that the words coming from your mouth correspond to the squiggles written on pages will eventually click, and the sooner the better.

Say what you want about them, but I still recommend the baby einstein videos. To this day I think that is why my daughter loves listening to and playing classical music. It certainly does no harm, and if there’s even a tiny chance it stimulates brain development it’s worth it. Plus it’s a nice way to get a break.

Enjoy every minute as much as you can. They’re never as little as they are today ever again.

"Data, I would be delighted to offer any advice I can on understanding women. When I have some, I'll let you know." --Captain Picard,

[StandUpGuyParticipant 334]

1. Have some b~~~~.
I have a new baby boy and the woman IS a stay at home mom. I do not put up with BS at work or at home. Call me what you will; but I do as I do. I pay for myself, keep close ties with good humans. I want my woman ( not a wife ) to stay and keep care of my baby. Forget all of this farce that society tries to put on us. I live an alternative lifestyle.

2. Here in the USA we can claim long-standing-tradition as long as we can pay our own way; the gov has little choice; and if the gov tries anything; I revolt in a very civil way. It can be done because I am doing it.

3. Go your own way!

[StandUpGuyParticipant 334]

@Fermat271

You area good guy. I think that you know very little about this subject; and as a result; I am not sure about your comments.

As for me I know about this and suggest that you read my post about this subject.

My big reason is that: People only have the power over you that you give them.

Regards,

StandUpGuy

[EntropyParticipant 902]

This bitch is so proud that she is a big time internet blogger who writes about all the things men SHOULD do.

F~~~ off chick.

Write about something useful, like: “New baby survival guide, how to survive your narcissistic, infanticidal mom”

"Compare your lives to mine and then kill yourselves" -BBR

[StandUpGuyParticipant 334]

Entropy wrote:

This bitch is so proud that she is a big time internet blogger who writes about all the things men SHOULD do.

F~~~ off chick.

Write about something useful, like: “New baby survival guide, how to survive your narcissistic, infanticidal mom”

True True. Enough of people treating fathers as second class. Fathers have had much more to contribute to this world that this narcissistic “Momy Cult”.

[EnactParticipant 59]

“Squared in the pills?!” That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard!

[Won'tGetFooledAgainParticipant 3293]

Should the most important bit of advice be start stashing money as there is a good chance you will be getting a divorce in around 5 or 6 years.

From my own personal experience, once the kids start going to school full time the wife will be so sick of being defined as a mum that she will want to start getting her life back. This will involve losing weight, buying new clothes and going out with the girls. Expect to end up babysitting every weekend while she is out getting attention from guys and desperate to get back on the c~~~ carousel.

You have fulfilled your purpose now, you have provided the house and children and your only job now is to move out as quietly as possible and continue to pay for her current lifestyle. Once her party 20s were over she bagged a provider to give her a house and kids and unfortunately that chump was you. She thought she wanted a house and kids in the burbs, but the reality is she is bored stupid by it now and that is all apparently your fault.

She will blame you for not giving her enough attention and forcing her to look for it elsewhere.

For women, everything eventually boils down to Alpha Fucks, Beta Bucks.

[aniyishayParticipant 5]

I watched a video and I am in the same boat, Im not an MGTOW (wish I was) and the guy suggested calling this type of person AWM (Awakened While Married).

I would stick with the child, they need a Father. Depending on the wife, this can be hard my friend,

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