I’m just entering my twenties and have never had a relationship.
Thank f~~~, I obviously haven’t always felt this way.
My first “love” as such was when I was 6, we both liked each other and lived on the same street. She was the first girl I kissed and I have no negative feelings toward her, we were both children and enjoyed being around each other.
I then moved to the U.K and a year into schooling there developed this crush on a girl in my class, I always tried to be around her and hang out but nothing ever happened, I felt this way about her for years, building dreams about what we could be and how I wanted to be with her all the time. I told her how I liked her, and naturally she tried to dismiss it by saying you don’t actually like me. Big warning sign. Anyway I was still trying to be with her and on the day I had plucked up enough courage to actually ask her out I heard she now had a boyfriend. Perfect timing I thought, I was so devastated. It actually was perfect timing-disaster averted.
Anyway the bulls~~~ ended there.
On entering high school I was gradually disliking the sudden arrogance that had overcome most of the girls.
I had a few friends but unlike most never flourished in high school, in fact I hated the place. I’m not and never was a geek, i’ve been told that I always acted twice my age and was very mature. I always dressed immaculately, worked part time, had high end designer gear like Louis Vuitton and was developing a taste for the finer things in life.
Whilst most were out drinking Wkd in the parks on their bmx’s, I would stay in reading about finance and property whilst drinking a single malt like Talisker.
I didn’t speak to many girls in high school, we had nothing in common, and I could tell many didn’t like me. They were probably able to start sensing a lack of interest in them from me.
I was sexually frustrated, I was still a red blooded male but I couldn’t stand their bulls~~~.
I was one of the few to leave high school first even though I could have gone on to academically achieve. It was such a toxic place, I never had interest in being one of the sheep.
Whilst growing up I had a lot of s~~~ going on in the background, my parents are divorced but there were many other dramas which I won’t go into just now.
I had to get out and I did, started working full time and never looked back. It seemed like such a risk at the time, giving everything up but I wasn’t happy at school and I needed a change in my life.
Back to girls, I lost my virginity to a one night stand. By this point I didn’t care about sex(had already read into mgtow somewhat), I had a lot else going on at the time. I’m guessing thats another reason she was attracted to me, I wasn’t actively trying to get into her knickers, I was speaking about my interests and hobbies-and focusing on having a fun night out. The sex was nothing special, I was drunk, so was she but I had lost my v-plates so I was over the moon.
A few more one night stands proceeded, and I had also started to venture into the adult world.
I’ve also had sex with escorts, i’ve only ever told one person about this-a good friend of mine we’ll call Dean. I don’t see why it’s so frowned upon, I can get a girl if I want but the hassle outweighs the benefits. I’m not looking for a relations~~~, or drama-just a good f~~~ every now and then.
I could keep on writing but I don’t want to go on and on, plenty of time for more tales to be told. Basically the reason i’ve avoided such drama in my own life has been through seeing the pitfalls of my parents relationship(s) and having delved further into the world of mgtow.
Thanks for helping me keep to the straight and narrow fellow men.
Egoiste
Egoiste 5 years ago.
