Need help. Having a very hard time, Papers signed, just found out new info.

[AwakenedOneParticipant 58]

Hey,
I posted a detailed intro about my situation. I signed divorce papers last week. I needed to change the day because I booked a job and would be out of town. I asked for the new date to be after her and my son returned from vacation this coming Thursday. She said no and wanted to sign a day early. I was receiving some checks and wasn’t sure I would have them deposited by then, but she was adamant. Fast forward to today. I’m at work and an old employee comes in. A woman in her thirties, three year old daughter. I’ve known her for a year or so and she has shared her troubles with her ex. He has money, music producer. He will not help her or provide any income for his daughter, even though he lives in a big house and has resources. I’ve heard this for a year. I mentioned signing papers and that my ex is doing well. Mentioned her business. The girl says “oh my god, you ex is dating my ex”. Turns out this guy is or was a patient of my ex. He went to her twice a week while we were married. This is why the papers needed to be signed. The girl knew they were dating because the guy has started telling people he was officially dating my ex soon after the papers were signed. Remember, I’m the guy who adopted my ex’s son and I have raised him as my own since he was six months old. I was the guy that stepped in when the biological took off. Now, the first guy she dates after our 14 year marriage is some clown who will not support his daughter and is abusive to the mother. I’m completely horrified. I’m having a really hard time processing this. Up now at 3am. Wold love some words of encouragement.

[MACHOParticipant]

At this late time of the night I see that we’re only 19 members logged in. I have been divorced for over a decade, no kids though! In a few hours time tons of your other brothers will also be supporting you! Hang in there brother. You are at the right place, It’s just very quiet this late!

You must own a better Crystal ball than I

[bstoffParticipant 4863]

I think you should contact your ex and let her know you are “concerned” about her new BF and explain what you heard from his ex. Keep in mind that the source of your information is a divorced woman and you don’t really know her state of mind or her motivations.
Also, no matter how adamant she is about something, it’s both of you who make the decisions in this contract. She isn’t the boss of you, and standing up for yourself is a good way to let her know that fact.

[GrumpyParticipant]

All you can do is take care of yourself, that should be your paramount goal.
Once the paperwork is done and filed, walk away and don’t look back without having the lessons learned in mind.
Don’t worry about her, her choices, or her consequences, and dont be there to pick up the pieces for her later.
Walk away and breath the freedom again.

There was a time in my life when I gave a fuck. Now you have to pay ME for it

[MuglintarParticipant 1333]

Sorry to bring it to you the hard way, but that is: “alpha f~~~s, beta bucks”. And you, my Bro’, are the beta in that constellation.

Your Ex’ life is non of your business anymore. She gets her gina-tingles from this “bad boy”-Chad – now let her have it. She is an adult person and has, as feminism told us, the equal right to live miserable, because of bad choices.

Don’t even waste a second thought on any of the two women involved, neither one is good for you. Both damaged goods.
That “chad”? hey, cheer up mate, the source of your problems is his now.

"Him, who delights in solitude, is either a wild beast or a GOD!" - Aristotle (Aristot. Pol. 1.1253a) 1 Hom. Il. 9.63; the passage goes on: ἐστὶν ἐκεῖνος ι ὃς πολέμου ἔραται.

[AwakenedParticipant 35200]

I have a hard time UNDERSTANDING WHY YOU GIVE A F~~~ about who your ex is banging out ?

You are going on the WORD of another Women about HER EX ??

Did you expect HER to give him Glowing reviews, and as far as her EX not supporting THEIR daughter, how exactly does a man with resources manage to escape the Gynocentric Legal System ??

HE doesn’t.

Lets say that everything that you have been told is TRUE, but the shoe was on the OTHER foot, Would your ex give a s~~~ about YOU or YOUR CHOICES ??????????

You my friend NEED to focus on YOU and YOUR NEW LIFE !!

In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

[MagusParticipant 424]

Get everything in writing and finished. Then wish her the best with the new guy who was married to your coworker. And that there is no turning back.

I would not put your coworker in contact with your X because they might figure out some way to make the new guys life miserable. In fact you probably might want to give the new guy a phone call, thank him, and give him the low-down on your X. It’s a war out there you have escaped from. Be thankful.

[blacksheepmgtowParticipant 27]

Ronald Reagan had a principle he lived by, when living in the White House……it applied to dealing with certain leaders, when they fed him lines of BS( not that he was immune from doing it to others….lol). TRUST BUT VERIFY.

Taking another woman’s words, at face value, can be a very dangerous thing……been there and done that, with the scars and several different t-shirts to prove it. If it is something you want to pursue( and are willing to take a couple of risks, in order to do so) , attempt to corroborate the woman’s story. personally, I would file that claim under Remember For Future Reference and sign the papers forthwith. Just PLEASE remember that you are NOT her footstool…..If she wants stuff and wants to be unreasonable in her demands, dig in your heels as much as possible and make her spend way too much time and effort to get what she wants. If it starts to add up to way too much frustration and money for her, she may just back off and let you be.

Best of luck, buddy. Hope things work out for the best. We are here for you.

You CANNOT negotiate with crazy! Their thought process cannot handle logic and reason. They counter with dysfunction and hormonal thinking. best not to let them get that close.

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

This is tough to grasp but she is gone. She doesn’t want you. She has monkey branched to the next one. You are watching “as the c~~~ carousel turns”

Your future will be full of rage at what was and what is.

One day you will look forward. The sooner the better.

Remember that no one cares. The woman that you were speaking too is at the same emotional point. She cares. But her husband and your wife do not. They have moved forward with their life.

Good riddance to garbage.

Also, the judge won’t care. Society won’t care. No one goes to jail in family Court. Getting a divorce is like going to a car wash. You just get wet and soapy. Garbage in, garbage out. Next.

Peace brothers

[AwakenedOneParticipant 58]

Thanks guys. Feeling better. Just got too much info, too soon yesterday. I’ll do me now. Holy s~~~ does marriage suck.

[TaxGuyParticipant]

Look at it this way. The sooner she is with another guy the sooner she stops busting your b~~~~. It’s actually a good thing that she found someone. My ex told me a couple months ago that she never cheated on me. I guess in her mind that is true, but she was living with her boyfriend for over a year before our divorce was final. Go figure.

You are divorcing her because she is a pain in your ass. She is now a pain in someone else’s ass. Celebrate it! How’s life been for you the last couple years? Because that’s what he now gets to look forward to. Sucks to be him.

I know it sounds weird, but the best thing that can happen for you is for her to move on first when it comes to dating. What happens now if six months from now she sees you out with a hottie 10 years younger than her? What can she say? She was taking dick from someone before the ink was dry on the papers. You at least had the decency to wait until the divorce was final.

Order the good wine

[AutoliteParticipant]

AwakenedOne wrote:

Wold love some words of encouragement.

Grumpy wrote:

All you can do is take care of yourself, that should be your paramount goal.

What Grumpy said ^^^, just worry about yourself. Don’t try to make sense of things. People are far more f~~~ed-up than we really like to think. Don’t waste time trying to sort out why that is, you’ll get nowhere doing that. Just accept that and learn to cope with it…

[Anonymous 5]

You’re still in protector/provider mode. You’ll be like that for another 6 to 18 months or more. It’s natural.
The sooner you face reality, the sooner you’ll be able to enjoy the challenges of life again.

She’s probably sending you subtle signals that she’s still into you. It’s a smart move by her to be ruthless and keep you in reserve as a possible monkey branch.
To her, you’re now just an insurance policy in case things go wrong.
You even claim at one point in a previous post that it’s the system brainwashing her to abandon you. You’re right and wrong.
Women are sheep and follow trends, but she knows exactly what she’s doing to you. Stop pretending she’s a victim.
She never loved you like you loved her. You were just a resource from the first moment you met.

[FrostByteParticipant 19005]

AwakenedOne wrote:

Now, the first guy she dates after our 14 year marriage is some clown who will not support his daughter and is abusive to the mother. I’m completely horrified. I’m having a really hard time processing this. Up now at 3am. Wold love some words of encouragement.

The best way to get rid of a woman is to let Chad have her. So let Chad have her. She swung up the monkey branch and when Chad has had his fill of her she may and try to bounce back to you. Don’t let her in. Try and get your life together and your MGTOW shields up and running before that happens.

If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

As a fellow mgtow says:

F~~~ her sister.

Peace brothers

[HitmanParticipant]

Forget that bitch.
Not your problem anymore.
Celebrate your freedom brother! !!
You escaped.

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

I hate to say it but Muglintar is right. Undoubtedly she’s been with this guy for a while and is waiting for ink on paper to “make it official”.

It’s strange the kind of “virtues” people express… “I’ll f~~~ around on my husband but I won’t publicly acknowledge it until we’re ‘officially’ divorced”… as if that is any sort of a standard of behavior.

Anyway, if you care about this child and you feel the new boyfriend is going to be detremental to the child’s upbringing, you might make a point of that during the custody battle, but otherwise if your ex wanted to join a biker gang and be the clubhouse party favor, that’s on her now. She’s your EX and whether you wanted to put her there or not, she’s in your garbage bin. If some other guy comes along and plucks her out of the trash, that’s his problem, not yours.

[PuniShredderParticipant 2268]

This is a classic Chad situation and unfortunately you were the Beta. F~~~ that c~~~. Cut your f~~~ing losses. She’ll be knocked up soon enough and this motherf~~~er won’t support the kid.

By the way I thought her band member of mine good buddy adopted a Compass child he ended up paying child support for that kid for 15 f~~~ing years. I have two stepsons in my car f~~~ed up situation but they have a father who is actually in their lives a couple months of the year and I would never adopt them legally and get f~~~ed!!! Sorry brother but this is another good lesson for some of the new brothers out there.

Anyway no f~~~s given lose weight workout get in shape focus on yourself MoveOn pump and dump only and wrap it up. F~~~ that bitch cut her off..

Be professional be polite but always have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

[narwhalParticipant]

Stargazer wrote:

Anyway, if you care about this child and you feel the new boyfriend is going to be detremental to the child’s upbringing, you might make a point of that during the custody battle, but otherwise if your ex wanted to join a biker gang and be the clubhouse party favor, that’s on her now. She’s your EX and whether you wanted to put her there or not, she’s in your garbage bin. If some other guy comes along and plucks her out of the trash, that’s his problem, not yours.

100% agree with this. I’m not sure what the custody situation is with your son, but you do have some rights regarding what goes on with him when he is staying with mom. If you feel their is safety issue right now, I’d let her know that you are aware and will be watching closely. If not urgent, then just watch closely. You can take her to court to have your son removed from an abusive situation if you have evidence.

As for her, that isn’t your problem anymore. She doesn’t want it to be your problem. You couldn’t even really help her with a situation if you wanted to, since you be telling her it’s ok to do what she’s done to you. I have been divorced for about 8 years now, and my ex will still sometimes tell me of some issue that she’s having. I give her a blank stare every time.

Ok. Then do it.

[OgreParticipant 5863]

She’s your past.

Move on or get caught in her quagmire. Some of the married/divorcing guys here wish that their former cupcake would find the new man of their dreams to expedite the whole process.

If she suddenly decides that she wants to marry “New Chad” then she’ll agree to anything so she can have her big day and even bigger party.

She will hit you up some day. It’s not about getting back with you, it’s about you still wanting HER. She will always be about her so you should just worry about you.

I failed to realize in my youth that I was the prize. I was going to work. I was going to earn. Little did I realize that due to feminism, that no longer meant I had to share. Road soon, Desert after.

[Author]

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