Need divorce advice.

[Jan SobieskiParticipant 28791]

Not for me, but if a man was told his wife of XX years wanted a divorce.

What is the advice you’d give him.

I told him watch divorce corp.

What else. Please.

Love is just alimony waiting to happen. Visit mgtow.com.

[TaxGuyParticipant]

Man, so much of it is SO dependent on the woman.

I would say to try to calculate how low you could possibly expect her to go, and then prepare for the fact that you have underestimated her.

She is going to twist everything until she is the victim, facts be damned.

Try to communicate as much of the important things as possible through email or text. That way you have documentation, but I would tell her it’s just we can stay calm and think through our words slowly and deliberately, which is also true.

If she asked for the divorce, then it could be worse. At least she isn’t blind sided.

Take care of yourself. This isn’t a time to go hit the bars and end up with a DUI and an STD. Eat well, work out, get sleep.

Other than that, I think I’d need to know specifics. I’m sure others will have more.

Order the good wine

[Anonymous 42]

My best advice for divorce is do what I and millions of others have, DON’T GET MARRIED! It’s the cleanest divorce there is!

[Truthseeker82Participant 6406]

First thing i would say to him is do not drag it out. The sooner he gets out the better. It took only two years of my “mirage” to nearly destroy me.
And also tell him to never, ever shackle himself to anyone again.

[Back in BlackParticipant 1732]

It depends a lot if there are children involved or not. In either case I would strongly recommend finding out everything I can about his rights for his particular situation.

If children are involved and his wife is trying to get him to leave, be especially careful. Here in California that may constitute abandoning his children and he may have to fight like hell to get them back.

One more thing, she may try to get him angry and try to get physically aggressive (or may simply make up a lie, as women have no honor). Whatever he does, he must take the high road for he will surely lose if he ever has to go to court to fight an allegation of physical abuse.

"Women are directly adapted to act as the nurses and educators of our early childhood, for the simple reason that they themselves are childish, foolish, and short-sighted—in a word, are big children all their lives, something intermediate between the child and the man, who is a man in the strict sense of the word. Consider how a young girl will toy day after day with a child, dance with it and sing to it; and then consider what a man, with the very best intentions in the world, could do in her place.” Quote from Arthur Shopenhauer, 17th century philosopher

[HitmanParticipant]

my advice would be…
consult as many of the best lawyers in town as possible,
this disqualifies them to represent her.
then scrape up the money for a retainer on the lawyer you think makes the most sense to you.
have a couple sit downs with the lawyer,
and do your homework.
research divorce where you live.
YOU are your own best advocate.
always go to a lawyer PREPARED or you are wasting your time and money.
educate yourself in divorce laws.

[experiencedParticipant]

He must not believe / depend upon / nor in any manner – base his actions or thoughts on what she says.

He’s used to believing her or he wouldn’t have stepped into the marriage trap.

There is nothing more pathetic or losing, than a guy who gives Any value whatsoever to what she now says.

Her announcement was the tip of the iceberg and woe to him who underestimates that iceberg.

IMO

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[Anonymous 0]

NEVER PUT YOURSELF IN A SITUATION WHERE YOU ARE ALONE WITH HER!
She can allege anything and his life could be ruined.

[MENGINEERParticipant 583]

Sell your project cars to a trusted friend to store them for you.

Start stockpiling your precious items away. Bury them on Pelican cases if you have off the books land.

When you declare all your assets, any good divorce lawyer will get into your retirement, 401k’s, etc. Most out of country property isn’t touched unless she knows about them!

Lawyer up turn everything liquid into transferable solid assets that you can hide without her detection. Record everything, good luck..

[MattNYCParticipant 2329]

Get the best lawyer you can afford. Remember, you’re going to lose a f~~~load of money. Would you rather pay your attorney, or pay the ex?

Anything sentimental he has – old cars, motorcycles, books, sports memorabilia etc. – be prepared to have the ex use it against him. It may be worth to “sell it cheap” to a buddy. The friend can hang on to it for him & buy it back after the divorce.

Get to a men only divorce support group. Or see a therapist. Or both. You’ll f~~~ing need them. Divorce was the s~~~tiest emotional period of my life.

Lift heavy at least 3x per week. Eat clean (cheating occasionally’s ok). Spend 8 hours per night in bed (he won’t sleep, but the body still gets rest from laying down regardless).

[OldBillParticipant]

Like all the others said, Jan, your friend needs to get a lawyer now. It’s obvious that his wife has been preparing for this and that means she has a big head start. Hard work by him could cut into her lead.

Have him go here: http://www.realworlddivorce.com/

He needs to read all the general information there plus the specifics about the state he lives in. Tell him to pay special attention to the many practical tips offered.

Your friend also needs to watch Terrence Popp’s many videos discussing divorce at Redonkulas. While Popp laces his videos with plenty of humor, there is also hard-nosed advice there too.

Finally, your friend needs to secure and protect copies of all his important documents and other paperwork; things like birth certificates, wills, deeds, mortgages, titles, insurance, credit cards, banking, and so forth. He needs to immediately stop using social media and “clean up” what social media he has been using. He needs to immediate;y change the passwords to all his online accounts, the password to any computers, laptops, tablets, and phones he uses. It would be wise to get an entirely new phone with an entirely new number too.

Good luck to your friend. He’s going to need it.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[PhantomParticipant 3328]

Along with other men’s posts, I too will ante up in this thread. Two divorces here, and I was still unprepared for my 2nd divorce…

I know, I know…how, why, might one ask?

TaxGuy wrote:

Man, so much of it is SO dependent on the woman.

…And therein, lies the answer. I grossly underestimated my 2nd xwife. “Bulls~~~ tactics”, such as abuse, etc. were “fair play” in her book.

She used almost damn near all the big guns on me. I was fortunate that she couldn’t manage some rape bs, or she probably would have played that card as well.

Make sure your friend, along with the other advice giving, keeps a checklist of things he need/wants to take care of and do. Emotions were off the damn chart for me, and it will be one less thing to try and remember.

ANYTHING HE CARES ABOUT, WILL be under fire, if she is extra vindictive. Even s~~~ she has said over and over again, that she doesn’t like or care about. It wont matter how small or insignificant it is…she will try to f~~~ him out of it, just to shove the knife in as deeply as she can on her way out.

As TaxGuy said, it ALL depends on the woman…this is f~~~ing critical in my book. It can’t be overplayed imo, it’s just that f~~~ing important!

He needs to make sure she can’t get a hold of his computer, etc.. If for no other reason, so she doesn’t destroy it and smash the f~~~ out of it.

Divorce is an emotional and financial rape of my being, and although many of us have been through it, regardless of each man’s own experience of it, one thing is certain, I still was not ready for what my second one pulled.

It f~~~s you up, it f~~~s you out of all kinds of s~~~, and it can and has costs some of us men their very f~~~ing lives!

Jan Sobieski wrote:

Not for me, but if a man was told his wife of XX years wanted a divorce.

What is the advice you’d give him.

I told him watch divorce corp.

What else. Please.

Your friend should be honored to have a friend in his circle like you. Get his ass on this site 🙂 I don’t think he can afford not to be here.

TOO MUCH IS AT STAKE HERE FOR HIM

Wishes your friend the best & hopes to see him here someday.

[Solo MAN’S WisdomParticipant]

Record EVERY-F~~~ING-THING she tells you.

When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.

[SolidusXParticipant 854]

It will really depend on where you live as rules are different everywhere, as well as if there are kids in play but here is some good steps that are universal everywhere in my opinion.

1. STAY CALM: Do not let your emotions guide you, that is for the woman to do and work against her.

2. Get a bug out plan going immediately and tell NO ONE and I mean NO ONE except your lawyer what’s going on and what you are doing. Make sure to also keep things status quo at home so there is no suspicion.

3. Get a good lawyer, this will cost you $ but save you years of trouble.

4. Start to funnel money out of your accounts as cash (do not simply put it in a different bank account as it can be traced). Do not take large amounts out but ones that are manageable and then transfer that cash into gold or silver then stash the bullion where no one knows where it is. If you have shared accounts DO NOT TOUCH that money as she will notice and start asking questions (and also by some laws it’s half hers). After all your money is funneled out start going to Gamblers Anonymous multiple times to show a record of “How you spent all your money on gambling and were trying to get help” and there is none left (my friend did this and he funneled 1000’s safely).

5. Take pictures of EVERYTHING you own and even half own that has value, include serial numbers if possible and if you kept receipts that’s a bonus. If you are asked by her why you are doing this say its for your house/car/whatever insurance, she will never know the difference. Also take pictures of all your important documents like the house deed, credit cards, etc. Make sure you save these digital pictures offsite on like DropBox or some other cloud service so she can not destroy evidence.

6. Have a secondary house location as a backup if she demands you to leave and it’s her house that she owns. If you own it, demand she go to a friends or parents or whatever, if she has no one its up to you what to do. If you both own no one can be forced to leave HOWEVER if she starts attacking you get the police there ASAP and get her taken out.

7. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING WITH VIDEO!!!! Any conversation you have run that camera on your phone, especially when you first tell her you want a divorce. Most of the law is catered to women so when you can back it up that you were not in the wrong then you will have a better chance of coming out on top.

8. Stick to your plan and to what the lawyer says at all costs the faster you can eject the trash the faster you can get on to your life. Remember tell no one what you are doing ever!

Knowledge is power..... Don't waste your brain on bullshit

[Author]

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