Greetings all,
First off, I feel compelled to express a formal apology not only to Keymaster, but to everyone here, for my absence over the past 8 months or so. I am sorry I vanished without a trace and without a word. It is my hope, that after this post is done, that everyone will at least understand how it came about.
Escaped Mental Patient was going through some pretty serious stuff regarding his health back then. Not long after, I had my own trials of failing health, and the pain became a real pain in the ass for me.
I did not have any healthcare at the time, and my situation at the beginning didn’t seem all that serious to me. So, my thinking was along the lines of a few weeks tops, of me getting things back to normal and business as usual.
I also did not want to mention my petty health issues, when I knew at least one other man here was having a much more serious battle. So, I figured a few weeks, give or take, would be it. No harm, no foul, kinda thing.
Well, it turned out to be anything but simple and quick. Just getting myself setup at a free clinic,, so that I could get some help, was a long drawn out process. I am thankful that I was approved, but it required lots of paperwork, time and needless to say, I not only was in pain during all of this, but my pain continued to become more and more intense.
I don’t know how much I want to share about this stuff, and I certainly don’t want to make this a book, to where it winds up being way too long. All I know, is every time I went to see another doctor and another specialist, I found myself being put on more and more prescriptions with more appointments being made.
Toward the very beginning of all this, on top of my other issues, hints of prostate cancer were dropped, and in all honesty I shut down. Between the pain, my other issues, and having that on my mind…well, I was not mentally prepared to deal with it, ,truth be known.
In some ways, the past 8 months or so flew by so damn fast, it made my head spin. I guess because of all the prescriptions. On the other hand, some days lasted forever because of the pain and waiting to finally have everything set in place for my colonoscopy, to find out if I had cancer or not.
There were other things going on during all this time that only compounded my life, and for what it is worth, time and everything else just got away from me for a while.
I turn 48 this month, and it is really weird what time and age does to you, especially when your health does a nose dive. I lost track of what day it was, more than I care to admit. I would like to think it was due to the health issues and prescriptions only, but can’t help but wonder if my mind is also a factor as well.
Anyway, my next appointment is on the 19th. Hopefully, if my doctor is satisfied with the prep treatment results, he will finally set a date for my minor surgery. It’s nothing serious.
I really am sorry for vanishing, it was never my intent, just had life kicking my ass lately. I don’t know, when I read everything I wrote, it still sounds like a bunch lame ass excuses, and or coming across like I want pity or some damn s~~~.
Hell, I don’t know, maybe it is a bunch of lame ass excuses. I just know this year has really knocked the wind out of my sails, and I just haven’t had that much to give a good report about…til recently, when I started getting some good news,, and some painkillers that actually freakin work for me.
For what it’s worth, I missed the f~~~ out of you guys and being here. And I am very thankful for MGTOW, Keymaster & crew, and all you men, that make this place home.
If you read all that s~~~, I thank you for your time, and feel like I owe you a beer at the bare f~~~ing minimum.
Sincerely,
Zar
Edit: Wasn’t sure if this should be under health or not.
Phantom 3 years, 3 months ago.
