My story

[SolariiParticipant 19]

Reading these stories has made me want to share mine because now I can see that I am not going crazy. I was beginning to think I was because I have been trying to figure out my reasons for feeling that a woman is the only way I would feel complete in my life. I am happy without one but there is still that lingering sensation that I am missing out on some great unknown without a woman.  Well first let me tell my story for why I am questioning right now.
I got married in the year 2000 to a woman at best just drove me a little nuts, I felt that it was the proper thing to do because she was carrying my child. She had always been a flirt and made it known to me each time another man flirted with her, looking back I can see the ignorance because I was under the impression this was just normal behavior all woman need attention.  We had been married less than a year when she cheated on me the first time, I had heard from a friend that she was bragging to his wife how she had been with a guy she met at a party. Back then she needed to attend parties with people I did not like telling me it is healthy for couples to have their own friends. When I confronted her about it she said that the friend that told me wanted in her pants and that’s why he was trying to start trouble between us. I bought it and carried on, a few months later I noticed that she had gotten close to my best friend at the time and they were spending a lot of time together. I said something and was put in check by both of them that I was a horrible person who did not trust my wife and friend, it would later come out they were having an affair I was just gullible. After a few months I get him to admit it only because she was starting divorce paperwork behind my back and told him it was so they could be together. I find out the truth move out and join the Army in an attempt to straighten my life out and being a high school dropout provide for my son.

I make it through basic with no word from her and on Family day (the graduation day) she shows up saying it was a horrible mistake and she wants another chance to make our family whole. I grew up in a single mother home and did not want the same for my son so I took her back. All looks good on the outside but within weeks its back to the same old song. I hear every time someone flirt’s with her, all my friends want to have sex with her, and I am lucky she saves it for me. She is once again going out to bars with her female friends because its healthy for couples to have separate friends. This time though I am at home taking care of our children my daughter was born after we got back together.</p>
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<p class=”MsoNormal” style=”text-indent: .5in;”>I deploy to Iraq for a year and barley hear from her for the year, come back and we argue because I am starting to feel unhappy and that our marriage is one-sided( yea I can be a slow learner) I leave for my second deployment 10 months after my first. I have made a new friend in the Army and I tell him my story and how hard it was to be betrayed by my wife and my best friend at the same time. I leave for my second and tell him he is the only one I trust and to help my wife if she needs it. He of coarse helps a lot and my wife has another affair with a friend of mine. I find out about this after my return home and finally we get divorced. I thought that the worst was over but now I for years dealt with her using my kids as leverage to keep me in line.
She married the friend she cheated on me with the first time and calls up to complain about her marriage. I would love to kill communication but I get tricked under the guise the conversation has to do with my kids. About 8 months ago my son decides he wants to live with me and she fight is but he insist and he moves in, so now she tries to use the do this or I will take you to court and bring him back here, but something has changed in me I said go ahead I won’t fight you. You will not tell me how to live any more we have been divorced for 8 years and you are still trying to control me through the kids. Well my son is 16 and daughter is 11 they are old enough to understand, Daddy is done with Mommy. Now I am happy and free to not question my decisions I make for my kids. I have had two long term relationships since my divorce and both have been the same type as my wife.

Why do I still go after the same type of woman? Why do I feel I need one? I have been perfectly happy and only look because I get reminded constantly that life is more enjoyable with a woman. I don’t understand its only enjoyable with the right one and I don’t need to be with many wrong ones to find a right one. Maybe the right one is not one. But everyone says you can’t be happy with out one, so what do I do? Well looks like I am not the only one thinking I don’t need one reading this site has relieved some of the anxiety I had about feeling I did not truly want to be with someone and that it is OK to enjoy my freedom.

[whatdoesntkillyoumakesyoustrongerParticipant 15]

Im sorry you had to go through such a hell.

I’m in my 20s and feel not in the right position to give you any advice on your marriages. However about your last paragraph.

 

You do not need to have a women in your life to be happy. Most importantly you need to be happy with yourself before you even think about looking for a woman. Spend time with your kids, find some fulfilling hobby. Just find things you enjoy. A woman can be a great addition to your life, but you should never have the feeling that your life is not complete without a woman.

Dont rush for any relationships. Enjoy yourself and make yourself happy. Once you realize that you have so much possibilities being alone you will be satisfied with your life. Women will recognize that and be attracted to you. Then it’s your time to pick, without having “the urge to pick”.

All the best for your future mate. Go your own way, learn that you can be happy without a woman in your life. They might be an addition to it but they should never be compulsory.

[SolariiParticipant 19]

Yea That is what I am seeing in these post. I was thinking that it should be alright that I am happy just being me but the constant bombardment from the media and friends and just about all sources here in the state of Texas tells me I need to be married to be happy. I do not nor do I want it. It feels great not to be in a relationship in a society that has poisoned the whole concept, and it is truly great to find people that have similar views. I had no idea that this was an actual movement I felt that I was almost the only one who thought all I see are entitled bitches telling me what I have to do to get their attention, and when I say no thanks I am good it immediately turns into well your ugly so you truly have no hope any way and need to settle for what ever you can scrape up. I am tired of that being the response, I tell people I am happy not being in a relationship and I get well you’re not very attractive you sure that why you can’t find some one. lol

[Deus Ex MachinaParticipant 1068]

Incredible Story, and thank you for Your service, it’s greatly appreciated.

I’ve read at least 7 introductions this past week, And all of the former Married Men have all said the same thing as far as being cheated on, “The first year of Marriage” or “Before our anniversary”.  Studies have shown that Women cheat within the first year of Marriage, because psychologically they can’t imagine being with only “One Person” the rest of their life. Not only that, but contrary to popular belief, Women cheat more then Men do, way more, plus with Facebook, Email, Text Messages, it’s make the game much more easier.

That’s crazy that she slept with that many friends. Yes, Women do use Children as leverage against their Ex Husbands, it’s a sick pattern to further twist the knife in an already festering wound.

Stories like these I like to call Cautionary Tales, and young Men out there should pay close attention to life experiences such as this.

 

Anyways, Welcome to  MGTOW!. Thank you for sharing Your story.

 

"If You have the Tooth of a Whale, You must have the Whale's Jaw to hold it". (i.e. One Must have the right qualifications for leadership) -Hawaiian Proverb

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Reading these stories has made me want to share mine because now I can see that I am not going crazy

I had exactly the same realization when I stumbled on MGTOW some years ago.
“holy s~~~! And I thought it was just me!”. It was profound.

All of a sudden, all of the things I blamed myself for , f~~~-ups I was blamed for, mistakes I automatically accepted personal responsibility for, faults I convinced myself were mine …. were not really. And as I reflected, I realized I was carrying MUCH too big of a burden. The weight had ben lifted. A lot of guys say that in their opening line. “glad Im not going crazy”.

A woman is the only way I would feel complete in my life. Why do I still go after the same type of woman? Why do I feel I need one? I have been perfectly happy and only look because I get reminded constantly that life is more enjoyable with a woman.

Men have been SOCIALIZED to think that way. Women WANT you to think that way. They perpetuate it!

• “If you don’t marry me, you’re gonna die alone!”
• “Oh yeah? Well, you probably can’t get a girlfriend!”
• “No woman is ever gonna love you!”
• ” you probably can’t get laid”

… all desperate attempts to try and convince you that a woman is the pinnacle of your success.
As if she is the BEST that you can do. All transparent bulls~~~. And it’s BAD for you.

I join DeusEx Machina in welcoming you to MGTOW.
Enjoy, and join in whenever you’re inspired.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[SolariiParticipant 19]

Still trying to get used to the site layout so I hopefully am not double posting. It does feel good to finally start to understand that I was not the only one trying to figure out what I had done wrong to cause her to do the things she did. It is a relief to know that it is just the way they are, all these years of being told that I must understand the pain they go through and I need to be the better man they are looking for. Ha it feels good to just be the man I want to be.

[SolariiParticipant 19]

Wish I would have found this site back when I was in the service. I could tell some horror stories of what my fellow soldiers returned to. Shocking thing was it was most the time done by other soldiers. It was so bad that you could always tell what unit was deployed by the amount of their wives at the club.

[Deus Ex MachinaParticipant 1068]

We would enjoy hearing those Horror stories.

A Buddy of Mine Worked close to a Military Base which hired mostly Military Wives, and Boy some of the s~~~ He told Me was down right scary. Some of the s~~~ these Military Wives do while their husbands are in the field, training or are deployed are down right disgusting.

"If You have the Tooth of a Whale, You must have the Whale's Jaw to hold it". (i.e. One Must have the right qualifications for leadership) -Hawaiian Proverb

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