My story – long but would like to share.

[Anonymous 0]

hello everyone,

its fair to say i was in a bad / toxic relationship, it was no one person’s fault i believe we have both been as bad as each other, pummeling each other into the ground, both on anti depressants, if that isn’t enough of a clue thats whats wrong huh.

so we got together 6 years ago, i had been about 6 months out of a 10 year relationship, she was on and off with someone, we got talking one night on facebook, we had a date, a second and the after about 2 weeks i moved into hers. she had been married previously then divorced, due to her husband at the time being happy to stay at home and not do much, she started going out, got someone’s attention and slept with them, not good, thereafter she had at least 6 boyfriends across a number of years, warning sign? i would every now and then go back to my house and spend the night there, but it was hardly ever as she wanted me to be with her. i rented out my house which made sense. she said i was everything she has never had before in a man, i dont smoke, dont do drugs, got no baggage, have a job, a house, a car, just normal for once. i felt lucky and privileged to have met her

the first warning sign was the night before a holiday we had booked, sexual messages on her phone from 2 men thru facebook she keeps even now her phone very close to herself, she is also very addicted to facebook, but there again im not bothered by it. it felt like a massive betrayal, we argued and i was told it was nothing, the next day at the airport i wanted to walk out i felt utterly betrayed, she demanded 100% from me to her, but i wasn’t getting that from her it felt like. facebook has always been a problem, a nice photo of a day out together would get some sexual innuendo comment from some random man, but if i got a message from an old college friend who was a girl just checking in it would lead to problems, i was made to delete whoever it was and it soon turned into a you delete him i will delete her sort of thing.
i was losing touch with my family, we are only a small family, and i was being made to feel bad if i went to see them, we tried for children and it just wasnt and isnt going to happen.

i tried to develop interests of my own based on where her house was, but whatever it was, it would be constant messages throughout, one evening in the summer when she was at work i was out, i said i would message her when i was home safe, i considered this to be reasonable, but whilst still out the calls and messages started why hadn’t i called her. it was a model engineering club i was interested in pursuing but the first thing she wanted to know was if there was any women there, there was and this caused issues, but i had no interest, my feeling is if im with someone, im with someone thats it end of. i was beginning to feel controlled, manipulated, do this do that, wear this shirt to work not that one, she would hand out what she wanted me to wear to work, i said she didn’t need to do that, im a grown man, i can pick a shirt from the wardrobe, she said she was only being caring and her past boyfriend enjoyed it i said i wasn’t her exs and also was old enough to decide for myself, not arrogant, remember independant

these crazy random outbursts were stifling, were suffocating me, im naturally independent or at least i was and now im not so sure, we had what we felt was the perfect life, wanted for nothing, no money issues, cars, jobs, weekends away, we were the envy of many other people. i enjoyed spending my money on her, gifts, cards, notes left around the house, all seemed good.
things changed again when she changed her job and she started to work nights, i would come in from work at 6 and she would be leaving at 845, i would leave for work at 8 and she would be home just before, ships passing in the night, at first it didn’t bother me or worry me, but the change in her mood due to always being tired and moody started to take its toll.

i felt like my life was slipping into one monotonous routine, come home from work wait for her to goto work and then spend evening after evening by myself, i would wait for her to goto work and then rush out to grab a drink in a bar, just to get some social contact, some sort of stimulation, until one evening she left early, i went out but she didnt go straight to work she watched what i was doing and followed me, all hell broke loose that i was upto something, i wasnt, just sitting in a bar with other people around just listening, not even talking was all i wanted. but it was ok for her to be on her phone, on facebook chatting to exs, other men, i had to give up everything for her, but it felt like she could do what she wanted, one day i said i have nothing left, do you want my bank card to control what i can and cant buy, with facebook it felt like i was some secret that she didnt want all of her facebook friends to know about especially other men, i asked her like she would tell me, to cool it with facebook for a while, again more arguing, it was a trust issue with me, she betrayed my trust just before the holiday and i think i never really recovered from it. she would go out with her girlfriends, every once in a while in the local town, i to begin with didnt have a problem, when i was stopped from going out i started to, but what really hurt me was everytime she came home she would tell me how her friends ditched her and she would get chatted up

the constant bickering and arguing got too much, i agree i was to blame for some of it, not all of it but some of it, if you are in a relationship there are two people, not one, but all for the reasons explained above, it got to crisis point, over the course of the week i moved my belongings out, only leaving what she could see and then one night she went to work i left her, this was not an easy thing to do, i love this woman but i couldnt cope with the resentment, arguing all the time, it wasnt physical it was emotionally wearing. the next day i went to work pretty gutted that i had left, but she turned up at my workplace, threatening to kill herself, tell everyone about what i had or hadnt done what i was or wasnt like, i stayed with friends who took me in long enough for me to get back my house that i had rented out, what should have happened was the no contact rule, but she pleaded and pleaded to get back together, we would spend weekends together, occasional nights together at mine or hers, but it was a lets start fresh spend time apart and see where it takes us, i suffered terribly with depression, anxiety, was it because of the breakup or was it due to the circumstances leading to the breakup?

everyone said dont go back, but i still loved this woman, i went away for a few weeks and missed her terribly, when i got back we decided to try and make another go of it, we started to spend some nice time together, i suggested that maybe we should buy a house together, pay one mortgage instead of two and we found a house. she was entirely sure about it, she was scared of losing her apartment, we probably / almost definitely went about this the wrong way and too fast, i said to her, that i was able to buy it by myself but if that was to happen i didnt want her to think she could come by when she felt like it and she keep her apartment. it wasnt a threat, i said that if we both wanted to make a go of it we both needed to be 100% she still now to this day says buying the house was a mistake and i bullied her into doing it, i still maintain that didnt force her to sign the paperwork for our new home, she had a choice, all i wanted was 100% as she expected from me

the first 12 months in our new home were actually pretty good, the honeymoon period after getting back together i suppose i trying hard now to figure out where and when it started to go wrong, i started interests in the locality and was happy to do them, i tried to make new friends but that seemed to be an issue, i changed my working hours so that i would be home earlier to spend more time with her at her request, she changed her job and then thats again where it went wrong, she works as a carer and the everyday stresses and strains of the people she had to look after began to affect us, with my job its cut and dry, monday to friday 8 – 4, little or no stress, goto work do job, go home, she would come home upset or angry about what had happened and my only encouragement was to help her and suggest she finds another new job, she didnt want to so the anger and stress continued. she started to comment on how her work friend had the perfect marriage and the perfect husband, and what she had she wanted in me, but i was far from it, she said i was bullying, controlling, manipulate, would put her down, would tell her how she was wrong, whatever she wanted to think, i was it

why do i say these things, well it was me that had to do everything, literally everything, if i so much as asked her what she wanted to do or would she like to help with something or contribute, just have an opinion then she would crumble, i suppose i was looking for some sort of validation that what i was saying or doing was correct, it was anything from what shall we do today to what shall we do for dinner, but if i asked her what she wanted she wouldn’t be able to choose and so me deciding became me controlling or bullying. if i decided on something then we would get prepared to do it then we would end up not doing it, it got frustrating, i would get angry, remember this is the woman that once tried to tell me what to wear, and now it had been turned around into it was me being controlling.

so things began to spiral out of control she was angry with work, fed up with work, stressed with work, we did nothing as she was too tired all the time, she would come home from work and be asleep on the sofa by 8, she resented the fact that i had each evening and weekend to myself, and she had to work evenings, days and weekends, nights but as i said thats just how it was and would always be, she resents the fact that i earn more than her, i got a good pay raise and she went nuts about it, i said to her i would have thought she would have been proud of me to have been awarded it it just caused resentment, i was able to have evenings crashed out on the sofa, and she wasnt, if i offered to go out for the evening even to just watch a movie to give her time to do what she wanted she would say no and would want to come too, it felt like i couldnt win

its been a while since i mentioned facebook and her issues with it, well it again became a problem, another man sending a private message, this time i did go crazy, if this man can message her privately then i told his wife. i wanted her to know that her husband was private messaging my girlfriend, by doing it privately what was he hiding? right thing to do or not i dont know, but after years of being told she expected 100% i said i expected it to, it was brushed off as nothing, but i said if it was nothing then why did it happen.

resentment and betrayal feeling came flooding back, what was going to be the next drama or crisis in this relationship, i said to her that if felt she thrived on drama and crisis, i just wanted peace and calm and quiet, she would say i never have anything to talk about, i didnt talk to her, i would say i have nothing to talk about, im not allowed to do anything outside of the relationship to bring into it, however she would talk about how bad her job was how it was getting to her, how wonderful her friends husband was, it was the same each and everyday, i had nothing to talk about but she didn’t either as it never changed, i just simply said change your job or please be quiet about it, if you are not going to do something about it then please don’t talk to me about it, i will help you find a new job but you too have to help yourself, this was wrong it turns out, as now im accused of not talking to her. the ironic thing is that after months and months of this perfect husband her friend had, he has a melt down and they got close to separating, i felt like the months of grinding me down as i was the bad boyfriend were simply not true, i don’t hear much about them anymore funnily enough

i loaned her some money 7500, to buy a car as hers was starting to cost more to maintain than what it was worth, she insisted on paying it back within 12 months, i said it would leave her short, and it did, she overstretched herself, she said that i had a hold over her as she owed me money, i would say i would rather you pay it back over more time than be constantly short each month, to be honest the money was not worth the arguing it caused, however she got the money either from me or from the bank she would still need to pay it back!

so started the arguments, the bickering, the emotional abuse, grinding each person down, belittling each other, things got bad again, i needed to do something then endless evenings in not doing anything, bored of going to the cinema or just watching tv were beginning to get to me, so i started going out, speedway, football, ice hockey and even more recently church, the quietness and calm you get whilst sat in a church on a sunday evening is quite something, i went to communion last night, only a small group of people and i admit i cried, i have sinned, i have been nasty and horrible, but i always maintain that you get what you give, the priest asked if i was ok and told me i was welcome anytime, i was given his contact details and invited to call or email anytime, i will go back i want to go back, there is some humanity in people.

i would cook nice dinners for myself to only get the comment, well you wouldn’t cook that if i was here with you, but i would just say you are never here, i was told by her the other day she has backed off from me and its my fault, because i do all the above, but what was the other option sit there bored each evening in the house with her asleep on the sofa, its my fault, how can that be, its got to the point where i did enjoy the evenings by myself, as i would do things i wanted to do, and when she was at home, i had to sit there with her, if i so much as got up it would be where you going, dont you want to sit with me…

so we are / were two people in a relationship that are both on anti-depressants now because of what we do to each other, im trying to cope with the situation by doing as much as i can to fill my time outside of work but its still hard, the sudden sinking feeling in your body, the panic attack that i dont know why im having, the fear of being alone with no one but not understanding why when the person im just about with is all of the above

so going back about a month now one friday we both agreed the house was large enough for us to live together but not together, its what people do im told, in my heart i want to sell and move on, get strong again, not a wreck i find myself becoming but for the time being im being told that is what is going to happen, but that same evening i got up and said ok im off to bed, for her only to come and get into the same bed, we didnt touch i lay there and said i was confused. justly so, she said she wanted the company, the next day i was going to football she was going to go charity shop shopping, not a problem but as she left she kissed me and said could we goto to the cinema later, i felt odd, confused, strange what was i feeling

The following weekend i said to her, ok as you are working this weekend i will go and see my family, to get a barrage of abuse and oh you are running away, what i am running away from i dont understand, i wont see her except for saturday evening and sunday morning, i feel like im not running away, im just seeing my family, and she gets the evening to herself that she so craves, but i can’t win. who is controlling and bullying now?! i will be back on tuesday, time for her to be alone. i actually asked her what are we, one minute splitting up, the the next we in the same bed, i say i need to know to have this thrown back at me, why? so that i can sleep with someone else this weekend?! yes you read that correctly, i didn’t miss her it either. even now i can’t understand that one. As i said when i’m with someone im 100% to the very end, i just need to know where i stand right now, this very moment in time. as i said to her, you might not be afraid of what you are possibly going to loose, but it feels like your lack of being able to decide is down to worrying what you are not going to have. you think you have your life sorted when its so far from that, writing this even if i didn’t post it has made me feel a little better, i hope that you understand and i hope that someone finds comfort in what i have written, i’m not a strong person, i’m not all the things she says i am i just think that some people have the ability to bring out the worst in you through their own issues and problems

The best bit about being away that weekend was the internet camera in the house overlooking the drive, she said as i was away she would get to enjoy the saturday evening by herself in the house like i used to often get, well turns out when she said she was at work she was at home, coming home to get dressed up, when she said she was at the house asleep on the sofa her car was nowhere to be seen, oh and she popped back to the house early next morning to get ready for work, when confronted with this she couldn’t say anything, i gave her lots of opportunity to tell the truth, she decided not to, she was only angry she got caught out.

it all came to a head just over a week or so ago, through a really random outburst over something totally expected i suspected something wasn’t quite right…ever since day one ‘she’ had issues with her phone and men and exes. and she also had a PIN on her phone, when around me was always face down or turned off but she would turn on every now and then to check and then turn off so this random outburst left me wondering and with her leaving her phone on the side and she not in the same room the gut reaction and that of doubt was to check, i expected it to be turned off, but it was on, entering the pin it unlocked, no messages on whatsapp so i thought oh ok good, but then checked text messages, who still sends text messages!

And there they were… messages from another man, claiming how he would look after her and the cat, he would support her, a message from her saying how she had never felt about a man than like him before..i rang the number and left it on the table as she walked in the room her face dropped and lost all its colour. the classic oh it’s nothing came out, the first thing someone who is guilty says, that was it, that was the moment the 6 year relationship ended, the 12+ months of wrangling and arguing had built up to this one moment split second….

I got her to call the number again, i spoke to him, told him to come and get her and take her, she was his, i didn’t want her anymore, he protested and protested, made excuses and lied but after a couple of hours eventually said he would drive by the house, i told him to grow some and actually park up and come in, he further protested that he just wanted to drive by the house, i said please do stop and let’s talk. When he did eventually turn up he did come into the house, i said to him take her, have her, you are both suited for each other, you deserve each other, he was quite a lot older than her (she is 45) and i’m guessing she had daddy issues when young as he was always at work… Anyway i said to him sat there with her in front of us as well that he needed to know a few home truths about her, buyer beware sort of thing, i told him for as long as she has her phone in her hand you will always be wondering what she is doing, for a long as she says she is one place or with her friend, she may not be, she self destructs every 6 years so beware, she cheated on her husband, cheated on a string of boyfriends following on and has cheated on me with you, so be careful, oh and the best bit i turned to him and said… did you tell you that whilst she been with you we still be sleeping together, his face dropped, his face just went blank, she said don’t listen to him he is trying to turn you against me…Thou doth protest too much i think! When he did leave he didnt take her or the cat.

so now im guessing she is with him, she hasn’t said, not that i need to know really, the house is for sale and im preparing myself for a life without her, the old saying rings true, you made your bed now you must lie in it… months of lack of trust, months of lies, months of betrayal all comes down to two people writing 180 characters in a text message…

life is all down to the power of the ‘send’ button….

[Anonymous 13]

Welcome.

First, you NEVER move in with a woman after only two weeks, that is total insanity, even if the world out there was right. The truth is in this modern world you can’t cohabitate with women, it is lethal to your happiness and well being.

Secondly, I could go on and on about the Facebook s~~~ and write books.
Suffice to say if she Facebooks constantly, is secretive with her phone and has a string of orbiters sending her sexy messages. You don’t want to be anywhere near her. Women and their Facebook s~~~ is a deal breaker, every. f~~~ing. time.

Facebook or F~~~ Off! Seriously, don’t allow that s~~~!

Thirdly, well, it’s all a great big steaming pile of poo anyway, isn’t it?

A total s~~~ vortex from hell, from start to finish.

My God, it sounded like sheer f~~~ing hell on Earth!

She was on the c~~~ carousel, put down her husband like it was his fault, the usual tired excuses we hear over and over again.

Women are drama, they are lies, and mostly they’re just f~~~ing miserably insane.

She was everything that’s wrong with women.

You don’t know how lucky you are to be away from this toxic piece of s~~~.
Imagine if you’d married her and had children.
See how lucky you are?

Don’t do it again, right?

Once again, welcome!
Be Happy!

[Solo MAN’S WisdomParticipant]

Anonymous wrote:

First, you NEVER move in with a woman after only two weeks, that is total insanity

^^^^^^^
Gospel.

Anonymous wrote:

Women and their Facebook s~~~ is a deal breaker, every. f~~~ing. time.

^^^^^^^
Carve this in stone.

Welcome to the forums. Study hard. Read other intros, and you will see your story echoed many times. SW.

When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.

[AttonParticipant]

She sounds like a full blown narcissist or something worse than that.

A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!

[MGTOW KnightParticipant 7477]

Sounds like a typical c~~~ who takes, and doesn’t reciprocate. She wants the world, and maybe she throws you a bone with some sex. Do you notice this paradigm? You are nothing more to her than a utility… I’m glad you found your way here. Learn from our elders. Go Your Own Way.

Fuck bitches... literally and metaphorically

[Anonymous 1]

Holy hell that was… Well… Hell.

You should know that she’s not special. It’s easy to feel that way when she locked you away from the world and made you think it’s all your fault, that you’re weak, etc. No. She’s clearly a narcissistic and she’s manipulating you, and all women are like this. AWALT.

We are raised to think that when marriage or relationship doesn’t work, it’s always the men. Some cases are true, while others not. But women know this upbringing and use it against you to make you feel like s~~~.

See it like this: you are miserable because the lies and manipulation of a c~~~, while c~~~s are inherently miserable. You can get your strength back. Learn to say no. Learn to take control. Learn to see the manipulation.

Imagine your life without her or any other c~~~. You’ll have your family, friends, bar nights and still keeping your hard earned money for yourself. Having relationship as a sign of a complete man is a LIE. Real relationships where each person support one another emotionally are long dead. Go MGTOW.

And welcome home, brother. This is the right place to learn. Be the man you always suppose to be.

[Maximus AureliusParticipant 351]

Welcome… Sorry to hear you lived such a stressful confusing time with her… You are free now, and seem like a intelligent man, keep looking for things you like to do and building your life. A wise man doesn’t make the same mistakes twice..

Meditating on the Wisdom & Truths of Man, Isn't just a Philosophy, but a Calling......Be willing to be Called a Man!

[globemasterParticipant 443]

Had similar experience but just 2 yrs.

[The Manipulated ManParticipant 1856]

Hello Mog,

Thanks for writing about your Red Pill.

In the reply box below, write more details about what YOU are doing these days.

What does YOUR life and interests look like?

What part of the USA are you living at now?

What kind of work are you doing?

What kind of fun things do YOU do?

Any future projects or plans for YOUR life?

Here is something I posted about another way to look at RelationS~~~S:

Blue-Pill-men-are-really-pheremone-addicts

What happens when a man finally comprehends the cold and calculating thoughts that are going through a woman's mind, while her eyes are brimming with tears?

[Anonymous 0]

To all of you who have spent no doubt your own valuable time reading my story and replying – i thank you

i humbly thank you for your words, your wisdom and for being here.

What am i doing right now, im sat on my sofa, watching a tv program i want to watch, enjoying a glass of wine with peace and calmness, no drama no crisis

My interests are wide and varied, most of which i have become happy to pursue myself (the alternative being when the narcissist from hell was here of having to justify my whereabouts and if there were other woman there)

i enjoy watching the local soccer team, i enjoy watching and now volunteering at the local speedway track, when its the season for on a sunday evening watching the local ice hockey team. i enjoy going to the local club and enjoying a drink with people i may not know at the start but do when time to leave

im now doing what i want to do, when i want, with who i want, im finding peace in my life that i have struggled to get for 6 years

in between i work and hold a good job, as a designer, i get in the morning and function as a normal man

my future plans are.. to have this house sold, its on the market and to move into my house, with my stuff, and do what i want to do with it, when i want, to sit and relax and be happy that what i have is mine and mine alone.

[Y_Participant 4591]

Anonymous wrote:

What am i doing right now, im sat on my sofa, watching a tv program i want to watch, enjoying a glass of wine with peace and calmness, no drama no crisis

My interests are wide and varied, most of which i have become happy to pursue myself (the alternative being when the narcissist from hell was here of having to justify my whereabouts and if there were other woman there)

Welcome and you are another unfortunate victim of female manipulation and misandry.

Remember this and never forget it.

There is nothing on this earth as dangerous to a man as the female. There is no choice for you if you want to stay sane. in good health and in charge of your own life. You know what to do.

You are young yet and have many many good years to look forward to. Be of good cheer. Your life is yours to live and only you can decide your fate.

You can decide to have a happy productive and peaceful life or live a beaten slave on the plantation.

Your choice. Your life.

No – don’t thank me. Just send me money.

[BufordParticipant 935]

Just remember that you’re still here. Still breathing and still walking. When you remember the simple fact that you’re a man, you can fight everything that’s ever thrown at you right to the bitter end.

You even tried to help a lost brother that wronged you at the last moment. That’s what a man does.

"This happens every time one of these floozies starts poontangin' around with those show folk fags. - Sheriff Buford T. Justice"

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