My story (Caution: Lengthy but interesting)

[experiencedParticipant]

Welcome to mgtow.

Your personal life is no business whatsoever of the LAYDEEZ at work.
Any questions in that direction are best met with silence, or if you’re good at it, deflection. Or directly tell them, “That’s none of your business.” They won’t like that so ‘eff’ them.

Do not under any circumstances allow that c~~~ back into your life. Change your locks!!!!

Get in the habit of telling your mom, “no” and meaning it!

Keep reading here and keep us updated.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[David199Participant 47]

@dogeghow, Welcome and thank you for sharing.

I’d like to talk about your most recent post about the program to improve your production output if I may.

Try not to worry about receiving plaudits from colleagues at work. The fact is that “YOU” have made a difference, maybe not to them but to yourself. Take pride and solace in your achievement to increase your efficiency. To a certain extent this is what MGTOW is all about in my opinion! You have self-improved, you have innovated.
Don’t get me wrong we all enjoy an ego fluffing now and again.

However the only thing I would counter in my own argument is try not to become over efficient especially if no one else has adopted your method, as it may leave you open to acquire more work or to be taken advantage of. Instead be creative with it use it to get your work done so you can have a “little” extra break time etc. I guess i’m trying to say make your efficiency work for you.

Good luck and all the best 🙂

[DogeGHOWParticipant 62]

Another update: Can’t convince my mom to stop contact with ex, she regards her as a daughter she never had or some bulls~~~. Caretaking instinct kicked in probably when ex victimizes herself as usual and claims to be miserable. I started calling out on her shaming language, I’ll have none of it any more.

Can’t seem to stop thinking of how I was wronged, like when ex stole my credit card and withdrew money, lied and denied about it despite evidence. Asking me if she could sell her kidney to send money to her sick mom. Obviously wanted me to pay and feel guilty and pressured into giving some instead of making any real effort finding a job. Guess I want to hear her make a proper apology and express deep remorse over all those things. I want to stop thinking about it and move on already but certain stuff triggers memories, think it’ll go away in time? Has been almost a year and this drives me nuts sometimes, I don’t want this any more.

Regarding work, I also thought about just getting my tasks done then just take it easy. I don’t really care about getting praised or getting attention with my tool but if others started using it, work would get done a lot faster and people would be less stressed. Simply trying to help everyone.

Pheeww, felt a bit better writing what I had on my chest.

Now unbroken one! Such recovery! Wow going my own way! Doge is life.

[RigParticipant 52]

Was going through the same s~~~ as you Doge. I understand what you feel, had the same. I’m about 2,5 year after and it’s gone. No more shame, just relief. Just be strong now, you will make it.

What is curious is that my ex used the same tactics but was from totally different background. I will have to write an introduction myself some day…

Cheers!

[experiencedParticipant]

S~~~ty memories will fade away IF you don’t reinvigorate them with thought.
Those neural pathways will not be re-myelinated if you consciously make the decision, “I am not going to think about that” when it comes up.
If you choose to go over and over and over it, that memory will strengthen and you’ll succeed at driving yourself nuts.
Let it go. It’s worth it to let it go. If MOM won’t let it go, let MOM go until she does let it go. If she does not, then she did not have your best interests in mind, so it is no loss.
There are no martyrs for women, only suckers.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[Enjoy The DeclineParticipant 1719]

Word of advice. I bet your ex got some info about you from your mom so that your ex can understand you better so that she can manipulate you more effectively when you both were going out. I am not saying that you should not see your mom anymore also, but it was not like if you were talking much to your ex’s mom judging by what you told us. It just doesn’t seem fair.

"Question everything" - Albert Einstein

[AvidAvariceParticipant 223]

Welcome Doge, it’s good to see that you’re no longer the “broken one”. Stick around long enough and you’ll be the “wise one” soon enough. At least, that’s the effect that the men here have had on me over time.

DogeGHOW wrote:

Can’t seem to stop thinking of how I was wronged, like when ex stole my credit card and withdrew money, lied and denied about it despite evidence. Asking me if she could sell her kidney to send money to her sick mom. Obviously wanted me to pay and feel guilty and pressured into giving some instead of making any real effort finding a job. Guess I want to hear her make a proper apology and express deep remorse over all those things. I want to stop thinking about it and move on already but certain stuff triggers memories, think it’ll go away in time? Has been almost a year and this drives me nuts sometimes, I don’t want this any more.

It’s natural to feel anger when you’ve been wronged – it’s part of how we make sure that it doesn’t happen again. We all want those who wronged us to either admit what they’ve done and offer a heartfelt apology, or to feel the same pain and suffering that they inflicted upon us. The problem here is that they would need to feel a healthy degree of empathy for others, and particularly for you, in order for either of these outcomes to happen. From what you’ve told us of your bat-outta-hell-crazy ex, she doesn’t have that empathy, so you’ll never get the acknowledgement you seek from her.

She’ll never feel pain like you have since she’ll blame everyone else for every mishap and will never hold herself accountable, and any apology she offers will be a hollow one – you’re just a convenient wallet, which is why she hinted at coming back in a year when she’s a “better person”. “Better Person” is outright bulls~~~ – she’s keeping you on a long leash as a potential cushion to land on if her ride on the c~~~ carousel comes to an abrupt end. “Break glass in case of emergency” is the name of the game here.

That desire for closure – for her to admit to what she’s done – will just keep her on your mind and potentially drag you back to her. You’re not going to get any empathy from her, and all you can do is protect yourself from that walking monstrosity that consumes all that it comes into contact with. That’s about all the closure you can get – that you won’t let it happen again, and that you’ll lead a fulfilling life from here on out.

[Enjoy The DeclineParticipant 1719]

AvidAvarice knows what he is talking about. I would say that your ex is a sort of sociopath herself. I have actually read a book about sociopaths and you got to know that these people usually have a lot of blind followers that are attracted to the sociopaths personality. But as soon as she finds out that she has no use for you, you might as well be dead to her. To her, this is all just a game, where she even got your mother against you. If you cut her off your life, she would not actually be traumatized by it and just go play the game and become a parasite of the next person. The best defense you have against her it to cut her off your life completely before she is a parasite to you mentally as well as financially. I am sure she is playing a game with you right now to see how much she can screw with your head while getting away with it, and if you pay attention to her, you are just giving her your power.

"Question everything" - Albert Einstein

[AttonParticipant]

After reading that I am glad I discovered MGTOW when I did.

A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!

[Author]

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