Hello people, I’ve been reading this site for a good year now, but never actually posted anything. Thought I would maybe participate a little bit, as I appreciate all the threads I’ve read here so far.
I was with my ex for about 9 years, married for 7. This is the first time admitting this to anyone, but when I dropped my ex-wife off at her new house, to leave me forever, I sat in my car and laughed like a loon. I was so happy she left, the downward spiral was so gradual it was almost imperceptible.
Our relationship started off fine, she was a common sense girl, not very attractive but very sexual and we formed a good friendship immediately. As much as we got along, I refused offers to live together for about a year, until she started to become unmanageable. She became so bitchy, and attributed it all to the fact I wouldn’t commit to her. So, doing what I thought was “normal” and thinking we had something strong enough to last, I proposed.
There was a real hot-cold aspect to the whole relationship. She would be so committed and in love with me one minute, and all of a sudden go cold all over, and get quite derogatory with me. It happened only slightly before marriage, but after marriage it was happening at least every 6 months. I am a very easy going guy, and giving her the benefit of the doubt would always try to help her get happy again, and make changes by moving to another place or going on vacations. It was never enough, she required a constant change in environment and need some massive life-changing event to be happy.
I’m so grateful that we never had children. She demanded I get snipped, but hearing the tales of men with grapefruit-sized scrotums having difficulty even sitting down, I refused. She had her tubes tied, man oh man I am grateful for that.
So as our marriage progressed, I always tried to placate her increasing demands for vacations, new house, new car, every day had to be concocted to be a variety show of extraordinary adventures. She could never just chill out, and enjoy a beautiful day. If I wanted to relax after a long day that started at 4am, she would grow bored with me just sitting on the couch for the one hour of time I had before sleep. She claimed to be minimalist, but everything we bought was at her behest.
So then a year and a half ago, right at my busiest time at work, she decides that she is leaving. She doesn’t want to work on our marriage, has no interest in saving it. She had done this once before, threatening to leave out of nowhere, and then doing a 180 and wanting to stay. Well this time she actually went out and found somewhere to live. She was just cold as ice to me, a total shift. One day before she left me she had come downstairs naked and told me how much she loved me. Next day – she’s done and is leaving.
Everyone who knew us was totally shocked, we both appeared so laid back and together they couldn’t believe it. There was no real reason for it, she just decided that she was done. So she left our home, left most of the stuff, and I threw her some cash to buy her share. At least she was not after me for money, like so many horror stories I hear. (Though divorce is not final yet, so let’s hope it stays that way)
So now she’s on the “c~~~ carousel” as people here have mentioned. She trying to bone this guy or that guy, not having tons of success due to her mediocre looks. So then she finds some guy on a random internet site, talks to him for a week, and moves clear across the country to move in with him……..
Everything I’ve read points to a bipolar disorder. I offered to stand by her and help her through treatment and counselling, but she won’t have any of it. Her value of herself swelled 10X in a week. She suddenly thought she was the most desirable women in the world, was going to be giving speeches across the country on stuff she knows nothing about, and I’m some lowly man who was so below her.
So flash forward to today, and I’ve really made no moves toward finding another woman. I really was big on girlfriends before finding my ex-wife, and now that I’ve seen how mercurial women really are, I can’t say I’m begging to be let back in to that kind of situation. I was so content before getting married, living the bachelor life, and I’m starting to get there again.
I’m a real loner type of person, I have so many entertaining ideas I’ve never really needed a woman or anyone else for that matter. I have a great career and make a s~~~ ton of cash, but just save most of it so I can retire early. I obviously have a lot of regret and sorrow over this whole thing, but at the same time some part of me is laughing maniacally as I consider the future with no woman dragging me down and making demands of me.
I’ve served my time, and though it was my choice at the time, I really don’t know why I ever bothered getting married. The sex and friendship only seem good for the first year or so, and then everything very slowly started a downward trend with increased bitchiness and demands. Women seem to be very unreliable and inconstant creatures, flitting from idea to idea like a squirrel with a tree full of nuts. There’s good reason that marriage is dying in this world, women can’t commit to something of this magnitude for life.
I admit I probably would have stuck it out for decades with this woman, just made the best of it and tried to keep her as happy as I could. It is beyond joy that I don’t have to worry about any of that anymore. I may be lonely, but I am as free as a man can get.
globemaster 3 years, 7 months ago.
