This topic contains 29 replies, has 16 voices, and was last updated by 
CatsPaw 4 years, 5 months ago.
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Hey Brothers, I’ve been talking to a couple of buddies of mine about dating… and when I tell them about my approach they seem to be fairly interested in the details. I don’t know if I’m really doing anything different, but from the reaction I’ve received from a few of my good buddies I feel like I should share with you fine gentlemen. If what I tell you is so incredibly obvious just tell me to ‘shut the f- up’ and I’ll do so. What I’ve been doing seems to be a common sense approach, but maybe it’s not and I should share… so here is it.
When I meet a woman for the first time, regardless of where it is… in a club, at a grocery store, online, through a friends friend via a ‘set up’… I always assume that they’re gold-diggers and my goal is to get sex out of them without spending too much $$$.
– So step one is always to set up a coffee date with them at a Starbucks closest to my apartment.
– I ALWAYS show up 10-20 minutes late so they’re forced to buy their own cup of coffee (again, the goal is to spend as little as possible);
– So I show up, buy my own coffee, chat for a bit, and we go for a walk. I make sure to tell her I have to pick up something at a grocery store so we’re forced to shop together… I feel like shopping as a couple makes the girl think that we have more of a relationship than just the first date that we have;
– We walk and chat for a while, the coffee shop is near my place so I make sure to have a reason to invite her over, to watch a show or something. And that’s where I go in for the kiss. I don’t ask, and I don’t come up with some cheesy line. Women want to know their men have b~~~~, so you have to dive in and go for it;
– 99% of the time, if they go into your apartment they welcome a make-out session;
– The VAST majority of the time the women will NOT have sex on the first date. They’ll feel like sluts otherwise. So you make sure to at least try to gently push for sex, but if she won’t allow if… you back off. You have to at least gently push for it to demonstrate to them that you think they’re sexy, and that you’re confident enough to think you deserve it. But again, at the first sign of resistance… you back off! You also want them to know that you’re confident that sex will happen eventually (you’re not in a rush for it).
– So the next day you set date number 2! Which was always dinner at my place 🙂 (remember, at this point I haven’t spent a dollar on her, and I’m going to be making my own dinner so why not invite her??). Have her over, make her a healthy dinner with wine. Eat dinner, go in for the kiss, and sex will more than likely happen that night.
– No $$$ spent, sex happens pretty quickly, and everybody wins. The only thing you have to worry about during that walk on date #1 is to make sure that she knows you love your family, you have a good job, and you’re a positive guy with great friends. Those are the things that women want in a dude essentially.
If a girl will only go out with you on the first date for dinner… avoid her like the plague! She’s a gold digger and is just looking for a free meal… a normal girl will want coffee, in her mind if you’re a freak she can always just pretend to have to leave in the middle of coffee for some BS reasons. Coffee dates give her a lot of comfort if things don’t work out.
Oh! And another thing I’ve noticed about women. If you meet them at a club, walk up to them and say “Hi, I noticed you from across the room, I thought you were cute and I wanted to say hello.” Even the coldest, most miserable bitch will appreciate your honesty and be open to a conversation.
Anyhow… this is just snapshot of my approach to dating women, wanting sex, and not spending too much money on them. If you want more details please let me know. I’ve failed so many times over, that over the years I’ve slowly developed a process to make sure I get laid quickly, and easily. I have more tips if you’re interested. Remember you always want to keep at least 4 women “on the go” at all times.
I posted this because it breaks my heart to see good men, spend a lot of money on women and get nothing in return.
Happy hunting gentlemen 🙂
I would like to learn more. Thanks for sharing
Please continue 😊
However, I’d be worried about her knowing where I live ….. coz of the nutter woman thing. Banging on your door at 3am.
The rest is very interesting and I believe has merit.
There just might be a book in the making ☺
Great comment ILiveAgain… But the goal is when you first meet a girl you want to sleep with is to make her as comfortable as possible with you. Make her think you’re a chatty open book with nothing to hide, that’ll drop her guard and shortly thereafter her pants. Women need an emotional connection before sex (not all, but for the most part they do) so the deeper the conversation, the more of an ‘open book’ you are, the more attracted she is with you. And again my goal is to have sex as quick as possible so make her think you have nothing at all to hide. I had one woman tell me that she was afraid to have too deep a conversation with me because she was worried she would develop an emotional connection with me and have it turn to sex … which it did VERY soon afterwards.
Regarding the insanity that most women seem to possess (which is what I think you’re referring to)… I’ve noticed that almost all women are amazing at their ‘two-facedness’. They can be incredible at hiding their insane tendencies for at least 5 dates… after that 5th date the craziness starts to rear it’s ugly head dramatically! I was with this chick one time and I lost count of how many dates we’d been on (rookie mistake). She lived about 4 hours from me, so I was trapped at her house at 2am when all of a sudden she sits upright in bed and says “YOU DON’T MAKE ME FEEL SPECIAL… AND I DON’T LIKE SWALLOWING.” I had no place to go so I was forced to appease her bulls~~~ until the next morning when I could get the hell out of there! Needless to say that was the last time I ever spoke to her. So keep that in mind, the 5th date is a real turning point for them, that’s when they feel you’re getting committed into ‘serious boyfriend territory’. And the craziness really starts to show up! I remember going on a date with another gal, I’d already slept with her a few times but again… lost track of the dates, dammit! Her phone was on the table and I noticed a text from her friend “Wow this is the 5th date! It’s getting serious!”… D’OH! On the 6th date she started being very disrespectful to me (the craziness!), so again… never talked to her after that 🙂
If you keep the ‘relationship’ under 5 dates, in the woman’s mind you’re still in ‘casual dating territory’. So she WILL NOT CALL YOU! It’s your job as the man to pursue her in the courting process… so don’t do it! Here’s my process from start to finish:
– Meet her, get phone number;
– Go for coffee, show up late;
– Go for a walk, be a chatterbox say how amazing your family/friends/job is/are, go to grocery store;
– Back to my place “to chill out for a bit”…have a make-out session;
– Date #2, make her dinner, have wine, have sex;
– Date #3… who cares as long as it ends up at my apartment again for more sex. Or her apartment.
– Date #4… doesn’t happen as I never call her again. And because it was so casual, she never calls me.
– Everybody wins.
I always try to make sure I have at least 4 ladies ‘on the go’ within that 4 date maximum. When you drop one off the list, make sure to replace her with another.
Like everything in life, sometimes everything is going well… but sometimes you hit a dry patch 🙁 What I do in these situations is I pick out one gal I’ve dated, where the sex was great and she was a little dumb, and I text her… “Hey Ms. Y, I don’t want to come across like a whiner, and that’s fine if you’re not interested in me. But I was just curious as to why you never returned my text? Anyhow, if I don’t hear from you it was really nice getting to know you.” This makes her think that it was a misunderstanding, or that she accidentally made a mistake in the courting process. This works like a CHARM! Every time they’ve come over to my place and we’ve had sex that night. I’ve shared this with a few buddies and it’s worked really well for them too!
Anyhow… once again I’ve developed this through a TON of trial-and-error… I think I’ve made every mistake possible with women until I found something that worked. So if this is second nature to you I apologize for being “Captain Obvious”. But I like to think it’ll help a few of you fine gents 🙂
Oh… another thing.
If you get that rare bird that starts getting too attached within that 5 date time frame, or if you lose track of how many you’ve been on like I’ve done a number of times. Here’s how you get her to go away, text her this:
“Hey Ms. Y, I really hate to do this to you but a woman from my past is back in my life and we’ve become very serious. This is the last thing I expected to happen, but I’m really excited about my future with her. I’m really sorry.”.
For some reason women really respect this! I’ve had women thank me after sending this type of text message, and quietly go away without making any noise. They knew we were still casual, and if they think you’ve met your princess and will be living “happily ever after” then she can deal with that.
Easy peasy.
I have a cheaper way. Talk to them online until they agree to have sex. You don’t waste time, gas money, or buy overpriced coffee.
My personal approach to dating: I don’t.
And dammit does it feel good!
It is a common failing of childhood to think that if one makes a hero out of a demon the demon will be satisfied.
Agreed; forget dating. The only thing you should be remotely interested in is smashing, and that is only after you can’t take going without vagina for as long as possible. They only thing awaiting you in a vagina is an orgasm that can cost you an STD, CS payments, a rape charge, or worse.
If you have to get some pussy, realize online or offline it is a numbers game if you are actively seeking to get laid. Just keep pursuing a hookup and eventually you will get a bite on your line. I recommend actively seeking a hookup online, and passively responding offline. If you are still in the game, looking for steady hook ups, you need to concentrate on picking up on female Indicators of Interest and capitalizing off of them. Like a woman looking you in the eye and smiling at you, or complimenting you, etc. This has the highest return in cost-benefit. I don’t recommend cold approaching women in public today, their attitudes have gone from bad to worse.
Anonymous1Hey,
I appreciate the tips, but all this seem a waste of time, money and effort, while your date has to do nothing. These are an overall of the problems I have with your advices:
I ALWAYS show up 10-20 minutes late so they’re forced to buy their own cup of coffee (again, the goal is to spend as little as possible);
Well, money spent on a date is just part of it. When you go to a date you are spending money, time, effort and you are putting yourself in the line for rejection. What is she risking again? Oh yeah, have stuff paid for her.
I feel like shopping as a couple makes the girl think that we have more of a relationship than just the first date that we have;
Called it. Beside, once again, here is the emphasis on making sure HER needs are filled. There is no expectation for her. It is YOUR job to make HER feel safe, comfortable, in a relationship. So far all she has to do is… nothing.
I don’t ask, and I don’t come up with some cheesy line. Women want to know their men have b~~~~, so you have to dive in and go for it;
That’s great. Except that it is always like that, isn’t it? Women want what they want, and what about what a men want? I am all in favor for taking initiative, but only is she makes it worthwhile. Just standing there and having a vagina is not enough. Besides, this “dive in and go for it” thing can land you in a lot of trouble if she is crazy enough, and most of the times she is.
99% of the time, if they go into your apartment they welcome a make-out session
And if anything goes wrong she knows where to send the cops to, so they can arrest you for her false rape claim.
The VAST majority of the time the women will NOT have sex on the first date. They’ll feel like sluts otherwise. So you make sure to at least try to gently push for sex, but if she won’t allow if… you back off. You have to at least gently push for it to demonstrate to them that you think they’re sexy, and that you’re confident enough to think you deserve it. But again, at the first sign of resistance… you back off! You also want them to know that you’re confident that sex will happen eventually (you’re not in a rush for it).
And again, all depends on what she wants. So far you went for coffee, you made groceries, you went for a movie, show, whatever, you guys went to YOUR house… And what she did again? Oh yeah, she denied you the exact thing you were going for. I am not saying that you should rape the girl, but at this point I see a LOT of effort from the MEN’s part and NOTHING from her. Anyway, let’s proceed.
So the next day you set date number 2!
Date number 2? Why? I mean, wasn’t all that enough for 1 day, we are supposed to go to ANOTHER date?
Which was always dinner at my place (remember, at this point I haven’t spent a dollar on her, and I’m going to be making my own dinner so why not invite her??). Have her over, make her a healthy dinner with wine. Eat dinner, go in for the kiss, and sex will more than likely happen that night.
Again, there it is again the MEN doing all the work. So far, the other side of this date had no compromise AT ALL. And she already knows where you live, where you do groceries, and now she will have a free meal. Yeah, you will have to eat, but now instead of cooking for one you are doing for 2. Also, MOST LIKELY, is not CERTAINTY. She might as well deny a second time, since she already had her meal, or she might regret on the next day, and claim that you got her drunk and, guess what? Cops at your door.
– No $$$ spent, sex happens pretty quickly, and everybody wins.
Are you kidding? You spent money on coffee, groceries, dinner, movie/show. Besides, besides money, you also spent time going around, effort making the dinner, you risked being rejected (on the BEST case scenario). And what SHE did? Not much, she might have f~~~ed you, but it is not like she didn’t enjoyed as well…
The only thing you have to worry about during that walk on date #1 is to make sure that she knows you love your family, you have a good job, and you’re a positive guy with great friends.Those are the things that women want in a dude essentially.
Why? I mean, no offense, but that is the thing that makes me go away from relationships. You (men) are always the one that have to prove worthy. You are the one that have to be more then just a “nice guy”. I mean, if you have some looks (if she is attracted to you and vice versa) and both of you have a great time, what does you background, your financial status or your take on life matter to the girl? What about HER background, HER financial status, and HER take on life? That doesn’t matter to a guy if you are just for a couple of dates, why all of suddenly it does to her? You improve yourself, for YOUR sake. If you date doesn’t “agree” or don’t “like” how you manage your life, maybe it is not worth the trouble. Besides, that’s NOT what women want. That’s what they SAY they want, but reality proves otherwise
http://thoughtcatalog.com/anne-gus/2014/03/why-all-women-should-do-porn-at-least-once/
Oh! And another thing I’ve noticed about women. If you meet them at a club, walk up to them and say “Hi, I noticed you from across the room, I thought you were cute and I wanted to say hello.” Even the coldest, most miserable bitch will appreciate your honesty and be open to a conversation.
Really? I would love to see what clubs you are going, because for my experience, that’s not what happens.
And I guess that is it regarding your tips.
I don’t see just the waste of money on a “date”, that’s how women think. It is a waste of time, effort, and an emotional risk (remember, YOU are the one exposing yourself, taking the risks and making the initiative. I would be fine with it if that was all you had to do, but it isn’t is it?). Not to say your reputation in case she regrets the dates.
This looks more like the tips a woman would tell men, in order to try to bring them back to the plantation.
That’s why I don’t date, too much trouble, too little reward, just not worth it.
By the way:
My personal approach to dating: I don’t.
You stole my line. hehehe
Nice job BadKan, I couldn’t be asked to break that s~~~ down. I have seen this same advice posted somewhere else on the web and I didn’t agree with it when I first saw it, but you know whatever makes a man happy. If you want to go out thirsty to a bar or club and get humiliated in public for a chance at some snatch, knock yourself out. One less woman I have to deal with.
Been there, done that. Most men develop foolproof techniques, after a while the s~~~ just gets redundant. Real talk I can’t even stand the common woman anymore, so I definitely am NOT going shopping with them/her on the first date.
IMO you seem to be exerting alot of effort, while she does nada but eat and get banged. This is precisely why I no longer date, taking is all they know. These bitches are just lazy annoying, overpriced hookers."The wounds of honor are self inflicted"
Hi gents… I didn’t meant to cause any hostilities. My challenge is that I really need sex as a part of my life, porn and masturbation alone just doesn’t do it for me. So while I don’t want one woman in my life on a full-time basis, I do need to have them around to fulfill my primal urges. If you guys don’t need sex in your life then I really envy you, but unfortunately for me I need to get laid at least a couple of times a week.
You’re correct in that my approach does take more effort than simply unzipping my pants and waiting around, there is work to be done there, but my goal is to keep that work to a minimum. I also enjoy talking, and I enjoy cooking, so having someone over for dinner is not a big deal at all for me.
Clearly my approach will work for some, but not others.
Thanks for your comments.
Understood, but from my experience, that work never really has to go further than a photo exchange on the internet and some quick cyber to see if she is down or not. I have had women drive over 3 hours and set up a flight across country to come f~~~ me within moments of meeting me, and I am not even that great looking; I consider myself slightly above average.
If you are average to above average it should not be a problem with attaining this, you just have to put in some effort, which gets tedious as you get older because you don’t care as much. If you are not attractive, or getting to the point you are tired of the whole process, there is always prostitutes. If you can’t find one in your area, it is a quick flight away to Nevada to bang as many whores as you want for 150 bucks, dude. Probably cheaper time wise when you look at it, and you have a woman that is there to serve you, not get pregnant, not yell rape, and hopefully gets regularly tested. Think about it.
Every man has to do what’s best for himself! Nice work!
Anonymous1Hey man,
I was not offended. I just like to deconstruct arguments and offer counter arguments. It is just that, from my point of view, this seems a lot of work for almost nothing. I also enjoy a good talk and, not necessarily cooking, but having a nice dinner with someone seems nice. Sex is good as well. The problem is that, the way I see it, the amount of effort necessary to get all this things from woman is not worth it, at all. Specially if you compare HER part of the bargain, on what SHE has to do, which is close to nothing. All those things you mentioned before (talk, dinner and sex) can be achieved without having to go through all this unnecessary work. I mean, if you enjoy the chase, be my guest, but if you are looking for the end result, and the end result alone, that’s when I think it is not worth the risk.
Just wanted to point out what I thought about the matter.
Cheers.
I don’t really mind spending the money on a dinner as I consider it to be the cost of doing business/due diligence. I can usually (not always) tell within 20 minutes if it is a wise investment.
I am always initially HIGHLY suspicious of women I have met through social gatherings who know my background, because to them I seem like a “good catch” and they know I can pay the freight. This troubles me, but I accept it as fact.
Women you meet in public who have no frame of reference will check out your attire, your watch, car, etc. to try and determine the financial stability available to them in the event of a future relationship. If I am dressed in a suit/white shirt/tie with an expensive watch, women will engage me socially even though they know nothing about me. Lots of coy talk and “tee hee” bulls~~~.
To verify my suspicions about the female motive, this past March, me and two of my friends dressed like a car mechanics, complete with work shirts and name patches with the names “Dutch”, “Tex” and “Butch”. We went to an upscale pub in an upscale neighborhood and we received absolutely no attention or invitations to conversation at all.
This was not surprising to me at all and it only verified what I learned after filing for divorce. I won $100.00 on that experiment BTW
Women are looking for a ticket, a golden ticket and my ticket booth is SOLD OUT.
The more that relationship seeking women get played so we can get our dicks wet the more emotionally frustrated and vengeful women we have around. Eventually they lash out at any man they can.Get stopped by a woman police officer? Better hope she hasn’t been pumped and dumped one too many times.Also we have women judges and politicans to deal with along with coworkers and neighbors.A huge number of them are bitter and dangerous to all men and boys. Not to mention all the young poor blue pill fools in the world who don’t have a clue what’s really going on and are one friendly comment away from a life changing calamity. For those of us with a pussy addiction there are safer routes like Craigslist under “casual encounters ” “women for men” .There are lots of women who just want NSA or FWB .Including lesbians.
Straight women just don’t want the sisterhood knowing when they are violating the embargo.
Female serial killer Elien Wornose was pumpt and dumpt from the time she was young woman thinking it would get her somewhere , till she hit the wall at an early age then she started selling sex and couldn’t make enough doing it to keep a roof over her head..Food for thought.
frankly my dear i don't give a damn
The problem I see with your approach is that you aren’t being honest with your date. Instead of showing up late to avoid paying for coffee, why not just show up on time and don’t pay for her coffee? You’re trying to project a false image to her. The rest of your words and actions are also about portraying the image you think will most likely get you laid. You keep up the act until you get what you want, then revert to who you really are.
A woman will act like a NAWALT until she gets what she wants, and then goes AWALT. Her actions and yours appear to be principally the same.
Ok. Then do it.
You nailed it Badkan… I love the chase! I enjoy the calculated game of pretending to be what women want, and acting that way to get sex. When women come up to me and offer to buy me a drink or give me their phone numbers… that’s a huge turnoff. I need to hunt. I’m definitely not into prostitutes (I wish was, that would be easier), and I’ve never met a respectable women online willing to give it up after a few keystrokes. I’m a happy, friendly, hunter. 🙂
Norwhal – you wrote:
“The problem I see with your approach is that you aren’t being honest with your date. Instead of showing up late to avoid paying for coffee, why not just show up on time and don’t pay for her coffee? You’re trying to project a false image to her. The rest of your words and actions are also about portraying the image you think will most likely get you laid. You keep up the act until you get what you want, then revert to who you really are.”
This statement is 100% accurate. My problem for years was that I was an honest nice guy, and that just kept getting me burned! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve met women, was just ‘being myself’, only to have her pretend to be a nice girl for the first 5 dates until the super bitchy personality starts to come out. When I was in my late teens, early twenties, I was caught with a couple of epic bitches! But they didn’t reveal their full personalities until a month or two in. By that time I felt like I was really committed and I didn’t have the b~~~~ when I was younger to call her out and drop her like I should have. So the way I see it is, I’m not being honest, but she’s not being honest either… so I get what I want, and as soon as the bitch in her starts to come out… I bounce. I see only two outcomes when I date women… either I lose, or she loses… the choice is an obvious one for me.Between the ages of 17-23 I was a true blue-pill sucker. I catered to women so much, allowing them to be so bitchy and miserable. It destroyed my confidence. This was compounded by the fact that I was raised with two older miserable sisters. So when I hit 24, somewhere along the line of couple of great men came into my life and showed me a new path. Not quite the red pill philosophy, but it was a step in this direction.
I’ll make a deal with you Norwhal… the next time I meet a woman she tells me “I can be exceptionally mean to men, when I’m emotional I like to put them down, scream at them, and make them feel bad about themselves every time 100% of my needs are not satisfied. Sometimes I can be nice, but the majority of the time you’ll want nothing to do with me because I’m not capable of self-control.” When I get this level of honesty from a women, I’ll buy her that coffee and be honest with her in return.
Norwhal… are you a woman? I find it strange that a man would see a problem with not being honest with women.
@staten Did I say that ‘nice’ was the way to go? Not at all. I really see ‘nice’ as pretty similar to PUA tactics. In both cases you’re pretending to be somebody your not, acting a certain way to get the result you want. The nice guy will buy the coffee, thinking it gets him somewhere when he really doesn’t want to buy her coffee. The nice guy will put up with s~~~ he doesn’t want to put up because he thinks it’s going to pay off eventually. PUA will only lie to the woman. The nice guy will lie to himself as well as her. I’m not a fan of either.
You can use the justification that your lies are justified by her lies, that’s up to you and you’d certainly have some backing from others on that. Problem I see with that…she can further justify her own lies because of yours. I’m a fan of the honest approach. If you want to have coffee with her, then ask her if she wants to meet for coffee. If you don’t want to pay for her coffee, then don’t. If she doesn’t like that, it’s her problem. If she throws a fit or whatever, then WALK AWAY. Not saying I’m always honest, but that’s the approach I’m striving for. I’ve been the nice guy way more then I’d like to admit and paid dearly for it. I’ve also done some PUA stuff too (honestly, haven’t had too much reprucssions from that), but the most satisfying has been simply being honest. My understanding of the red pill is that’s it’s about see the truth of the reality around you, not about learning how to game the system.
And I’m a woman because I have a problem with lying to women? Please. I’m not a fan of lying period.
Ok. Then do it.
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