My life story: The triumph of the 30 year old virgin.

[Red KnightParticipant 720]

Hello everyone,

I’m a 30 year old man who graduated college last year, and have been working as a pharmacist for 7 months. I’ve read of MGTOW several years ago and took many of their ideas to heart, but I didn’t fully embrace the philosophy at the time. Fundamentally, I’ve looked at the MGTOW movement as a warning of what can happen if you put your dick in the wrong hole. My experience with women has been very limited – I am still a virgin, and I’ve kissed only 1 girl my entire life. After my life experiences and observations thus far, however…I’ve concluded that MGTOW is quite valuable in the context of modern society.

My life story is ahead – it’s a very long post, and I pre-emptively apologize for the long read. If you want to read what is probably most relevant to MGTOW, scroll down to where I made the line and read from there.

I was born to an older couple – my mother was 39 and my father was 40 when I was conceived. However, shortly afterwards, both of my parents suffered from health problems. My mother began to develop symptoms of Parkinson’s Disease, and my father had a heart attack which killed off part of his muscle tissue. Neither of them had a high education level – my mother graduated from high school, my father dropped out of high school. I consider my mother to be of average intelligence, but she was/is a very sweet woman and was always there for me. Though my father dropped out of high school, he is highly intelligent. In his forties, an age where most people struggle with learning new technology, he was the one who taught me how to operate an MS-DOS based computer at a very young age. He had also taught himself how to build satellite dishes and work on radio equipment, and founded a small business. He was also a former guitar player for a band, a former member of the US Special Forces, and a computer hacker. And he was certainly not a beta male…unlike me. However, as I mentioned earlier, both of my parents had health problems as I was growing up, and so they rarely socialized with anyone or had any friends. My father would often be working from home in a small building that he built in the backyard, and my mother worked mediocre jobs during the day and watched me when I came home from school. I have 3 sisters, but they are all older than me – I am now 30, and all three of my sisters are in their late 40s and early 50s.

So, this is my story growing up. In terms of intelligence, I was always several steps ahead of my peers. My mother and father both spent a lot of time educating me. My reading, writing, and mathematical abilities were all far above average, placing in the 93rd percentile or higher. In the 3rd and 4th grade, I was recognized as “Student of the Week” many times for my academic abilities, and I was especially recognized for my skill at quick numerical calculations. I placed in the finals of several spelling bees. I was always one of the smartest people in the class. My computer skills at 5 years old were better than most fully grown adults, and at 10 years old I successfully hacked copy protection on a computer game completely on my own. However, with all of my intellect, I lacked interpersonal/communication skills and what people call “common sense”. I was not a big picture thinker. Having never grown up with anyone else except for my two parents, I never learned how to socialize with my peers. I even displayed an aversion to my peers. In kindergarten, teachers noted to my parents that I never played with other kids, and that I preferred to play alone. They also noted that despite all of my abilities, I was very disorganized and didn’t listen to instructions. The school began to believe that I had ADHD and put me into special education classes. However, it seems that I was never formally diagnosed with this, as I was never put on medication. I do wonder at times if I still do have some degree of ADHD to this day, as I do have a difficult time paying attention for long periods of time in certain settings. Thankfully, it does not appear to affect my performance as a pharmacist if I do have it.

To summarize my experience through elementary, junior high, and freshman year of high school, I was always the odd one out due to lack of social skills. I was bullied a lot. Kids would always find a reason to dislike me or think of me as weird, even stupid. And like the foolish naive kid that I was, I always tried to fix it by gaining their acceptance and reasoning with them. The harder I tried to gain acceptance, the worse the bullying became. I did not have many friends growing up, and the few kids who I thought were my friends ended up stabbing me in the back, metaphorically speaking. This led me into a vicious cycle – the longer I was ostracized, the worse my interpersonal skills fell behind. I’m socially stunted because I have no friends, and I have no friends because I’m socially stunted.

By the time I was in high school, my social skills were really far behind. I learned that a big part of the school (other students) thought I was literally mentally retarded and that I had serious mental issues. I was about 15 years old at this point, and this hurt me so deeply at the time when I learned about this that I developed a crippling social anxiety. I began to question every action I made, every move, every thought, every word. I even got to the point where I was literally hiding in bathroom stalls to avoid being judged by others. I refused to tell my parents about this because I didn’t want them to know that I was such a wimp – or at least, that’s how I looked at it back then.

My self-esteem was extremely low at this point. Why did EVERYONE think I’m f~~~ing retarded and weird? I began to wonder to myself if there really is something radically wrong with me. I wanted to prove to myself that I wasn’t mentally retarded and that I am a fast thinker. Like most other nerds who were social failures, I was an avid gamer – grew up with the SNES, N64, PSX, and PS2. But I never had access to the internet because I didn’t have my own computer. One day, I did get my own computer with 56k dial up internet access, and I discovered online gaming. Namely, Warcraft 3. I quickly delved deeply into this game…and I decided that this would be my competitive outlet. What better way to prove my intellectual prowess than to defeat others at a strategy game? Sure, I was really good at school, but I thought maybe the only reason I did so comparatively well was because nobody else really tried. Here, I would be competing against others who take it just as seriously as I do. Of course, I eventually became a player of respectable skill. I reached a high rank on the western US server.

Online gaming became the only thing that I really cared about for several years. I became a very avid Warcraft 3 and Diablo 2 player, and also began World of Warcraft around 2005 (still playing WoW to this day and loving it 😉 ). My days in high school amounted to nothing more than sleeping through class and then playing video games all day when I got home. That being said, I had a lot of good times playing those games, made lots of good memories, and made lots of friends over them. But my grades were so bad, because I did nothing but sleep through class. By age 18-19, I began to realize that I was on a downward spiral to self-destruction. While I still enjoyed playing games, I made it a point to put more effort into school during my senior year of high school – my grades improved but still weren’t nearly as good as they could have been. I also quit hiding in bathroom stalls and began to face my fears directly. I even asked a girl out to homecoming, and got rejected of course, but I was still very proud of myself for having the b~~~~ to do it. I was still very shy, but I had certainly made improvements from age 15 to 18. And finally, I was becoming recognized in school for being pretty smart, and not retarded.

At this point, I’ve graduated high school and am now completely directionless. I had given absolutely no thought to my future during my years in high school and had no idea what the hell I was doing. I enrolled into a community college to get into computer science – since I was such an avid gamer and was good with computers, I thought becoming a game programmer would be a natural step for me (for some reason, being an IT professional never crossed my mind!). However, I was not sure about this. I had no idea how I would go about becoming a game programmer. Because I had no motivation or no true goal, I didn’t succeed in college during my early years and instead began working toward a general science degree. From age 19-21, my life consisted of working part time jobs (where I didn’t get to meet many women/girls) and earning mediocre grades in these general education classes. I still didn’t have the discipline or the motivation to do my absolute best, because I am still directionless. I am also still quite shy at this point, so obviously women want nothing to do with me. One day, a coworker of mine told me about a place where I could research top jobs. I also found a test to suggest a job to me, and found that based on my personality type I should seek a position in health care. I found that book, did some reading, and discovered pharmacy. Go to school for 6 years and get a stable job with $120,000 a year. Sounds like a great deal! Let’s go for that.

(Of course, the deal isn’t nearly as good as it sounds, but that’s for a different discussion. To the younger folk, I strongly recommend you do your research very well before you choose pharmacy as a career. And if you have any questions about that, just let me know.)

Up until age 23, I was improving in college with the easier classes, but when I tackled the harder classes in pre-pharmacy I learned that I would have to develop more discipline. I began to realize that I’m 23 years old and I’m still a f~~~ing loser living at home with my parents who could barely sustain themselves, let alone me. I needed to do something about this. I began to think for long periods of time how I could improve my self-discipline, and I discovered that the key to discipline is not “willpower” – it is motivation. I knew that I could not continue living like this, and I used that as my motivation; negative reinforcement, if you will. I learned that every day, every minute of life counts towards your success and that not one second should be wasted. I began to set short-term goals for myself to ensure that I was at my most productive. By age 23, I finally found the strength to turn myself around. I was now scoring 3.5+ GPA’s every full-time semester, even in the hardest classes. In physics, calculus, human anatomy, and microeconomics classes, I was the #1 student in each class and the one guy that everyone came to for help when they couldn’t figure something out. I was now on top of the world and feeling like an absolute badass. My confidence in myself improved drastically, though I’m still a bit shy and awkward socially at this point.
—————————————————————————————————————
So, this is the part that everyone’s probably waiting for – my first experience with a girl. She was a coworker of mine – I was 24, she was 20. I learned through other coworkers that this girl really had the hots for me, and I thought she was reasonably attractive myself. I was very nervous, having had no prior experience with women, but I ask her on a date, she gives me her phone number. I set the date up as a dinner and movie. Throughout the date, things seemed to go very well. She paid for half of the dinner because she absolutely insisted, but I went ahead of her and paid for both of our movie tickets. We kissed at the end of the date (I did not try to bang her on the first date because I felt that was inappropriate), and she told me she had a great time and wants to see me again. Sounds good, right? So we go home, and I text her a few days later. She’s very slow to respond. I set up another date with her, and she agrees. However, she becomes very distant to me at work and avoids talking to me. On the day of the date, she asks me if she could reschedule so she could visit her mother in the ER. I say “sure” with no problems, we can try again later. I reschedule the date, and she’s still not talking very much to me. On the day before the reschedule, she then tells me she can’t come because her car broke down. I offered to give her a ride, but she insisted that she needed to get her car fixed (she cannot fix cars). Seeing that she had been distant to me over the past 2 weeks, and that this was at night time when nobody is available to fix the car, I took this as a probable sign of disinterest. I very mildly and politely expressed my frustration at this, and asked her if she is serious about keeping the date. She then accused me of being mean and inconsiderate and that she didn’t want to see me again. I try to reason with her, but she doesn’t listen to a word I say. I break it off with her at that point. F~~~ing fickle.

I find out not even a week later that she started seeing a dude from…Autozone. This dude also apparently recently got out of jail which would effectively put him into the “bad boy” archetype. Yeah. Getting your car fixed, eh?

Fast forward to age 25, I get accepted into pharmacy school. I move out of home for the first time into my own apartment and bust my ass for the next 4 years and graduate at age 29. I still have no additional experience with women because…well, I had absolutely no time for them. I was no longer the top dog in pharmacy school – I struggled very hard to get through it, so almost every day of my life was dedicated to it in some way. However, my lack of experience with women did concern me. I was in my mid-late 20’s and still a virgin. I read through PUA techniques which didn’t do a damn thing for me, and I even encounter a site called PUAHate (which got shut down due to a member going on a mass shooting here in the USA). I take up weight lifting so I can look better (I’ve been a really skinny dude all my life). And then, I run into MGTOW. MGTOW’s ideas did resonate with me, but I did not fully embrace the philosophy – it reminded me that there are huge risks to be taken when you try to engage in relationships in the context of modern society. But I still believed that good relationships might be possible, if you are capable of finding the right girl. At the time, I did not accept the idea that all relationships with women are to be avoided completely.

Fast forward a little bit to September of last year. I’ve graduated school and now get my license as a pharmacist and start my first big job. I began my search for women, and I figure a good place to start would be Tinder. I put my graduation pictures in there as well as some other shots of my face. The problem? The only women I was able to attract were single mothers. I did match some attractive girls who didn’t seem like they had kids, but they never responded to me and even unmatched me. Some of them would even start a conversation with me only to break it off and then unmatch me suddenly. I then figured out that the women are only interested in me because I’m a sugar daddy pharmacist who makes good money and can raise their kid for them. F~~~ THAT!

Fast forward to now – I’m 30 years old. I am now world weary and no longer shy. My experience working in a pharmacy and my various other jobs has been that most people are greedy, self-serving, stupid assholes, so I’ve learned that anyone’s opinion of me means absolute f~~~-all. At my core, however, I’m still a good guy who does the best I can for people when I’m at work – not because I want people to like me, or not because I’m aiming for a promotion – but because it’s my moral obligation as a pharmacist. I had a couple of dates with some 28-29 year olds through Tinder, but they were generally unsuccessful with results similar to my date with the 20 year old above. I then decide to reset my profile and remove any mention of me being a pharmacist or making good money. The result? I still get matches, but much less of them and the ones that do still usually don’t talk to me.

Then I remembered MGTOW again. You guys are right. To these women, I am nothing more than a beta provider or some guy to shower them with attention. They’re f~~~ing some alpha macho assholes who really have no value to society, making babies with them, then finding beta guys with lots of money to take care of their kids after they are old and used up. Meanwhile, the successful women that DO have money are choosing to marry said macho assholes or some guy that only has looks going for him. I’ve seen too many examples at this point, and I even saw it with my own sisters. This is a really f~~~ed up deal, one that I can’t accept, and it makes me resent any type of relationship with them. Ironically, I feel this resentment is bringing out alpha male characteristics in me, in that I am giving less of a f~~~ of what women think of me every day. But deep down inside, I want to believe that there is a good woman out there who does not buy into hypergamy. I hope there is a woman out there who understands how hypergamy is bad for herself and everyone else, and does not buy into it. My mother is a good woman, God bless her…I hope I can find one as good as her. I want to find a woman that I love and respect, and raise MY children with her, to pass my knowledge and wisdom on, to give them a rich and rewarding life, and to make the future of the world that much better. But seeing the nature of most women…I fear this is nothing more than a dream.

Reading more into MGTOW has reminded me of my value as a man, and how foolish and/or downright evil women can be. Hell, maybe I’m actually better off being a virgin. I could hire escorts to take care of that for me, but that seems like a waste of good money. Women in general seem like a waste of good money – an investment in a depreciating asset is never wise. 😉 I appreciate the site very much, and I think you guys have a very good message that today’s men need to hear. These bitches are vile creatures that will leave you as soon as a better
deal comes along and leave you to rot.

But as for me? This ATM ain’t cashing out. These bitches aren’t getting s~~~ from me – they had their chance when I was a beta nice guy, and they missed out.

Money over bitches.

Formerly MoneyOverBitches

[bladeParticipant]

Welcome bro . Be prould of been a virgin . You are super monk

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[Red KnightParticipant 720]

Thanks, man. If there is no woman worth my attention, I might just die a virgin. Sex is nothing more than an addiction and is not required for a fulfilling life. But to challenge yourself, to grow stronger, to teach others, to build, to conquer…this is what makes life great.

Formerly MoneyOverBitches

[Anonymous 14]

Yea man, don’t ever worry about being a virgin. It is like paying a thousand bucks for a ride on the children’s roller coaster at a cheap amusement park anyhow. It is almost never worth what it cost’s you.

[MACHOParticipant]

Red Knight wrote:

Then I remembered MGTOW again. You guys are right. To these women, I am nothing more than a beta provider or some guy to shower them with attention. They’re f~~~ing some alpha macho assholes who really have no value to society, making babies with them, then finding beta guys with lots of money to take care of their kids after they are old and used up.

It made me smile when I read that part of the Macho assholes, That’s the reason I quoted it !😜

Your Introduction.. yes was rather looong but very interesting! Personally I have been living the monk life for over 10 years! And my Macho Handle is more about my belief in masculinity as being awesome! Rather than what women and feminism has been painted it to be! It took me a while to read your whole intro but I really wanted to get a good grasp of what you were writing about! You mentioned several times your belief that you were suffering from various mental issues! Well.. Your intro paints you as a pretty sane individual!

Welcome to the forums MoneyOverBitches

You must own a better Crystal ball than I

[Red KnightParticipant 720]

Thanks man. This one’s for you:

Formerly MoneyOverBitches

[MACHOParticipant]

Red Knight wrote:

Thanks man. This one’s for you:

Ha! Ha! Funny!! 🍺 😂

You must own a better Crystal ball than I

[MACHOParticipant]

Red Knight wrote:

Thanks man. This one’s for you:

You know that Pro Wrestler Randy ‘Macho Man’ Savage Died in a Car Accident?

You must own a better Crystal ball than I

[Red KnightParticipant 720]

I actually did not know that, I guess I assumed that he just died from drugs/steroids. I just got done watching some WWE, so naturally when I saw your name “Macho”, that’s the first thought that came up.

WWE is downright silly but it’s still fun to watch. xD

Formerly MoneyOverBitches

[MACHOParticipant]

Red Knight wrote:

I actually did not know that, I guess I assumed that he just died from drugs/steroids. I just got done watching some WWE, so naturally when I saw your name “Macho”, that’s the first thought that came up.
WWE is downright silly but it’s still fun to watch. xD

Wrestling always cracked me up in my youth, weekends always had it played on tv 📺 ! But what is truly something else is to witness the huge crowds that it draws! Those Wild folks attending those shows! Nothing like this Macho! I first started on here as Macho With a Mr. Bean avatar! But Macho Hulk really suits me! 😎

You must own a better Crystal ball than I

[Pedal, run, rowParticipant]

I already gave you an upvote despite not reading it all yet. Just the first couple of paragraphs so far, and look forward to finishing it tomorrow.

Welcome.

[Pedal, run, rowParticipant]

Reading your first experience with a GF.

I was keenly aware after my divorce, that choices I was making, and going down the red pill path, would be like blowing up the bridges with women. Not being a slave to materialism, flushing all the phony people out of my life etc. would not be attractive to them.
In many ways this is what a guy being a virgin is to them. You are simply going to be pretty much off limits to them and undesirable. Their thinking is if other women didn’t want to f~~~ you, why should they? they don’t know or even care if it was YOUR CHOICE. Same as with my choices. The fact that I cut the chord on those things made NO DIFFERENCE to their equation. Only thing that mattered is I was no longer ambitious for money, and no longer had high social status with lots of friends. GAME OVER.

My ex was a real estate agent. She was always frustrated, because it was always the woman/wife who couldn’t see the potential in a home. a man could imagine what it would look like with new flooring, and a wall removed, and some crown molding or some ornamental wooden beams installed on the ceiling, but a woman just saw outdated décor… and “Like yuck!”
Even women know this about other women.
She was incapable of seeing the potential in you to be a good, loving, loyal mate. She just saw low status= no effort on her part.

It is the same with this girl and you. She couldn’t see the loyal loving guy you could be for her, she saw a beta virgin, LOW STATUS, and you better jump through hoops while she sits back and uses you and give you nothing in return.

Welcome, and I will probably have more tomorrow. Still have not finished this yet! I am wondering if this is a record for length? Old timers, what say you?

PS, I am so tired I am writing like s~~~. My apologies.

[MACHOParticipant]

Pedal, run, row wrote:

Old timers, what say you?

It’s a looong intro! It might take them a little time to digest it all! I’m sure they will be on here eventually.

You must own a better Crystal ball than I

[Pedal, run, rowParticipant]

Here is a song for you MOB. Reminds me of your journey. (You better not be a f~~~ing troll! I will kick your f~~~ing ass hard!!!!)

[MACHOParticipant]

Pedal, run, row wrote:

Here is a song for you MOB. Reminds me of your journey. (You better not be a f~~~ing troll! I will kick your f~~~ing ass hard!!!!)

I like your style! Very colorful!

You must own a better Crystal ball than I

[Red KnightParticipant 720]

Hahaha. I started it off as a short introduction, but I found myself writing a book! I went back and read over it to see if I could cut it down a bit, but I felt all of it lent some value to the post. It helps to paint a picture of how I got to where I am now, and that being a virgin isn’t anything to be ashamed of. I may be a virgin, but I see myself as a very strong man. Virginity is only shameful in the USA because society says it is. Anyone who cannot understand that does not deserve their opinion to be respected.

And no, I am not a damn troll. I kill trolls in World of Warcraft. I’m liking this song, too. 🙂

Sorry to hear from your experiences, I am fortunate that I did not suffer as great of a loss as you did. I got to learn from my small investment, and I will always treasure it as a reminder of why women suck and it is best to stay away from them.

Formerly MoneyOverBitches

[Pedal, run, rowParticipant]

Red Knight wrote:

Hahaha. I started it off as a short introduction, but I found myself writing a book! I went back and read over it to see if I could cut it down a bit, but I felt all of it lent some value to the post. It helps to paint a picture of how I got to where I am now, and that being a virgin isn’t anything to be ashamed of. I may be a virgin, but I see myself as a very strong man. Virginity is only shameful in the USA because society says it is. Anyone who cannot understand that does not deserve their opinion to be respected.

Have you ever read “The Stranger” by Albert Camus?

It is a classic, and one of its strongest themes is that a man who will not play the game, is destined to be destroyed. In this case, he did not cry at his mother’s funeral… it did not matter that she never really loved him, he did not play the game.

In the west being a virgin as a man is seen along these lines.
You either didn’t respect/play the game, or you could not get f~~~ed.

I respect it, as it was your choice. As MGTOW we also no longer play the game, mostly. Some more than others.

[MACHOParticipant]

Red Knight wrote:

And no, I am not a damn troll. I kill trolls in World of Warcraft

Good because if you were one my friend you wouldn’t escape the famous tuna seekers on this site! 😎

You must own a better Crystal ball than I

[Red KnightParticipant 720]

Well, if the greater society should shun me because I refuse to put effort into having sex (and really, all I need to do is hire an escort which I could easily afford right now, but like I said waste of money!!!), then I guess I am a pariah. I wouldn’t want to be part of any society with such low intelligence.

Hell, if I talk to a hot chick and she wants to f~~~, I’d honor it. But I won’t call the next day. I’m not going out of my way to impress a woman or society. I make my own rules in life.

Formerly MoneyOverBitches

[Pedal, run, rowParticipant]

MACHO wrote:

Pedal, run, row wrote:

Here is a song for you MOB. Reminds me of your journey. (You better not be a f~~~ing troll! I will kick your f~~~ing ass hard!!!!)

I like your style! Very colorful!

MACHO wrote:

MoneyOverBitches wrote:

And no, I am not a damn troll. I kill trolls in World of Warcraft

Good because if you were one my friend you wouldn’t escape the famous tuna seekers on this site!

hahahaha, I cant help but wonder, if just through sheer redundant efforts, the troll(s) finally found a formula to hook me in… This one seems legit, and good MGTOW member, but won’t be surprised if I missed something and Sage and blade have it in a can by the time I wake up tomorrow. 🙂

I am also really tired.

[Author]

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