My introduction and happenings

[tripvanParticipant 193]

Hi everyone,

First I would like to say thanks – this website has helped me be able to review my current position, and start to see my own life with clearer lenses.

I have been struggling with mixed thoughts since making the decision to follow my dreams and move far away from friends and family for a job in the music industry.

Pre-move I had kept that last girlfriend of mine for a while beyond the point where I should have – basically no sex but I enjoyed her companionship and I did not want to deal with a breakup at the same time as finishing college and trying to find work. She and I had discussed marriage, but I knew of something strange afoot with the institution of marriage from gut intuition and already knowing about the red pill. Besides that, after all of my previously failed relationships up until that point I was pretty sure this was not going to be the one, although I had found this girl to be a lot easier to live with (that is I almost found myself wanting to hear some of those hateful things she would say about cleaning my mess! Geez! Who knows what it would have been like post-wedding…).

As soon as I started looking for work, instead of wanting to help me and to willingly follow me to anywhere in the world, she was angry at me for not sticking around with her in that tiny college town! No way! After almost a decade of study, there was no way I would settle down and wait tables as she finished school. She was extremely committed to continue study, and in hindsight I thank God for that! But she knew I could one day just pack up and leave and I would probably never see her again, but she stayed with me and I with her.

So I found work and she couldn´t believe it, hell I couldn´t believe it either. But it was in far away, in a country where her father works. Basically she was raised by her mother because her father had an affair whilst she was a child. When ever she told me that story I always pulled out the ¨How could he do that?!¨ card, but at the back of my mind I could completely relate to such a situation. So she and her father helped me get set up with a place here until I was able to get my feet on the ground.

I was able to stay there for like two months before she decided it was not worthwhile holding on to me until she finished studying. Talk about memory like a goldfish! Soon afterwards I found this killer pad in the middle of the city and decided to cut my financial ties to their family. She still messages me telling me that she misses me, and recently confessed to spreading her legs wide for some dick with kids and a wife. Yuck. I will see her again when she comes down for two weeks to see her Dad. I will only meet her once, just to be cordial.

I was so thankful to not have ¨fallen¨ into a marriage with that girl – but that didn´t change the fact that I´ve been lonely for the past few months working all the time and not having a girlfriend, so I had easily slid back into that generally lonely frame of mind. Lonely that is, until I realized how much free time I really had to gain in the end! It is just so great to have a community here of like-minded gents who have gone through it all – enough to settle my mind and to know that I have made the right decision to leave that town. But also that it isn´t imperative that I need to get a girlfriend or aim for a family life with kids either.

One question – I feel like I have to man up and tell her to stop messaging me because now she is trying to bring up old things from our past and keep me spinning as one of her plates. Any smart ideas of how I should do this and drop her neatly in the friends/acquaintance zone?

[Anonymous 18]

Welcome
.
First things first she told you she slept with a man with kids. And she is in college. Fact that she told you this tells me the guy is pretty f~~~ing good getting her to pull her panties off. And she is impressed by him. But she likely slept with a few others she thinks you need not know about.

I don’t think this is the time for you to go monk mode mgtow. It’s a new city you need to make friends, fwb, hobbies. Whatever that you find interesting.

That’s the only way you won’t get sucked into the vacuum your ex-babe is creating by bringing up old stuff.

Don’t sleep with her when she is over. Yeah easier said than done.

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

Tell her straight … because unless you do … or just cut her dead … right now ….. the claws are still in.

Loneliness and claws are a terrible combination …. they will completely fk you up.

Go pick up another girl and get it done. Then back to improving yourself.

Once you’re at top table …. they will come begging. That’s when mgtow fun starts.

You escaped men ….. don’t get involved with female mind games …. and especially TEARS.

[Anonymous 29]

Sorry to be so blunt, but I get the feeling you may not be ready to go your own way yet,
Saying that, you are still a man here so, welcome.

[tripvanParticipant 193]

Thank you for your responses.

iLearn -> I agree, I have no idea what she has not disclosed to me, nor do I care frankly. In this new city, with a completely different language, I have already begun to make new friends, finding new hobbies, joining new groups, basically living my life to the best for me myself. There is no way I would sleep with her, and that is a pretty easy thing for me to achieve since I do not find myself attracted to her at all, physically or nada.

ILiveAgain -> I have told her straight now, and I might have overstated my loneliness in my original post. It was merely a symptom of not having the strength of support to go in this kind of direction for my sake. Since this happened nearly three months ago, the claws have much subsided in their ability to influence me as a person, but as a friend she is a professional contact in my line of work I want to keep. I have already got laid here in this new country, without problems, so that´s no issue for me. As I said, within that relationship there was no sex – her as a sexual conquest was and is essentially dead.

DRS_au -> Thank you for being so blunt. You have given me lots to think about today in such a succinct message, about my readiness to commit to my own path. I know that my story might seem odd to someone who does not know who I am or my background, so I assure you, this is a path which I am ready to walk at this point in my life. I believe I am here to learn more about how I had been misled, to be able to change what is ingrained and support me with logical reasons to head in this new direction. I can clearly see how my original post has elements which give you doubt about my readiness, but keep in mind this is just a small and fairly recent chapter of my life. I posted my story to give myself a baseline for my new self; not to seek approval, but to give an indication of the latest wrong path I found myself on before yesterday´s discovery of MGTOW. I do not want kids, I do not want a wife, and I do not want to waste any more of my life doing things that I do not want to do.

[RoyDalParticipant]

Welcome! And, if it’s any consolation, I have dumped women for less, and I have no regrets.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[WallyParticipant]

Welcome, you are well on your way and I think you dodged a bullet with her.

"what a waste of a life, to marry, give up your freedom, just for the hope of not dying alone. Don't get married Son."

[tripvanParticipant 193]

Hey guys, just wanted to give you all an update.

Loneliness has dried up, I no longer feel this state as a burden on my shoulders. There is a great satisfaction I feel getting to choose what I work on and do day after day. Her family down here has ignored me for months, and I got an email last week inviting me over for dinner. I have not responded to them, and I think I will keep it that way. Something else I had not mentioned. As she is coming here soon, I had promised her before the breakup that I would borrow some work equipment from some workmates down here so she did not have to bring her own all this way. She has been messaging me every month asking me if I am doing it, and I kept on saying Yes, I will eventually get around to asking, I keep my word, etc.

Last time she mentioned this was this last week, and I told her sure ill get it for you. Then I got some unexpected MGTOW advice from a workmate: DO NOT BOTHER. It is not worth it. So I did what I should have done a long time ago: Got rid of her and her family from all social media. Sure, I promised her that I would do this one thing for her while she was down here and meet with her once for a friendly coffee just to catch up, but she has not had anything worthwhile to say to me for months. She has not been working this into a friendship well at all, and has guilted me multiple times. She is genuinely not interested in who I am as a friend.

So because of that, she does not deserve the effort I would have to expend to ask some of my new workmates if I could borrow some of their equipment. It would be a risk that I would be responsible for if she f~~~ed up any of it too, and it would also be my workplace relations on the line. Not only that, but by tying myself to her, I would be implying to these other workmates that she is worth the time of day, and potentially hiring, and that would be the last thing I would want for her to be getting subliminal approval from me. It would be really tough to have someone like that in the workplace. So I am expecting an angry email one of these days, and I relish the thought of that day coming soon.

One more thing. When she asked for advice about a video she made, I told her that she said Umm over one hundred and fifty times. She was ungrateful and thought that I was being rude by even mentioning it. I have given advice to many of my peers before and never have I heard anyone take my observation to such an extreme. Yes, she probably just feels bad that I did not give her approval. F~~~, she has enough of her circle jerks who can do that.

I have told her that I will not even consider that our relationship was what I would qualify as good, and I did not even remove her from contact through social media when we broke up as a sign that we could continue things in a friendly manner. Here is what I have learnt – It was not worth it. Not one bit. Honestly, she is as toxic as ever and I am glad I have decided to break contact with her and her family. It is something I should have done a long time ago.

[Anonymous 0]

Welcome Brother

tripvan wrote:

. I do not want kids, I do not want a wife, and I do not want to waste any more of my life doing things that I do not want to do.

To protect yourself from a false paternity claim, get a vasectomy and don’t tell anyone until you have to; because as I see it if you will become a success in your field, that is a real possibility. Look at it as a test your resolve and possibly a fun experience slapping down some bitch in court.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Hi Tripvan. Welcome to MGTOW and the Forums. And thank you for your message to us about the expiring session after one hour of inactivity. We just increased it to 3 hours so you won’t be prompted to log in as often.

Cheers. And make yourself at home.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[TheDigestedRedPillParticipant 165]

Dude welcome to MGTOW. Just stay away from the Broads man try to set your mind set on going your own way. Its not going to be easy. I think you really need to get to that anger phase or that shock phase.

But anyhow WELCOME TO MGTOW

Society live's as if we have reached the pinnacle of human potential. Technological Advancement and Innovation, intellectualism, critical thinking is substituted for useless innovations, nasty narcissistic games, tyrannical laws that destroy the very foundation of family, and the world as we know it.

[J.D SilvernailParticipant 383]

tripvan wrote:

One question – I feel like I have to man up and tell her to stop messaging me because now she is trying to bring up old things from our past and keep me spinning as one of her plates. Any smart ideas of how I should do this and drop her neatly in the friends/acquaintance zone?

Good! I feel for you bro. My advice to you is to send a strong and clear message to her that she is your friend and only your friend. The best way to do that is to have a sexual relationship with another woman and make it obvious to her that you are doing that. Calling her on the phone while having sex with another woman is a very effective way to do that because of good quality background noise.

I'm married to the game,but she broke her vows.

[Author]

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