My story might be of some value to a few younger guys on here. I found MGTOW on thanksgiving actually. I did not spend thanksgiving with any relatives due to a divorce that happened in my family (go figure). I never heard of MGTOW before until I watched a few youtube videos on marriage in today’s society and how it has failed. Then in one of the suggested I saw one of Sandman’s videos. Instantly I started watching more and more until over an hour went by. In that hour I definitely woke up. I’m not a women hater or bitter by any account. I just see a lot of truth in most of the topics discussed on this website and also in some of the videos online.
About six months ago I broke up with my long time girlfriend. We started dating in high school and went through many ups and downs together, including a couple break ups, but we were together for almost 10 years. The reason why I broke up with her was because I started seeing certain patterns in the relationship forming and I stopped caring about the relationship even though she was a great girlfriend. We began to get into a rut and even when we were together we didn’t really talk to each other and the relationship seemed like we were staying together for the sake of staying together. On top of that we were complete opposites.
Honestly I lost faith in marriage years ago but this relationship was the catalyst for my decision to never get married. Even now though, due to all the bad programming, I still feel fear pop up inside my stomach when I hear myself say the words “I’ll never get married”. That is the honest truth though and that is what I believe. I just cannot see myself ever getting married after seeing all the hard evidence of how it ruins lives and even being in a long term monogamous relationship, I experienced firsthand, the resentment, the frustration, and the overall “I feel like there’s no point to this” feeling you get when you live your life putting someone else’s happiness before your own.
The basic jist of it was I saw the path I was going down and I didn’t want any part of it. There was no way I was going to allow us to destroy each others lives. Even though she probably still cannot see how I did her a favor by ending it, I know that she will find someone else to step in and fill the role of buying her a ring and making all her dreams come true. I just couldn’t be that guy. I honestly tried too. Were we together for 10 years. I wanted to make it work. I just couldn’t do it though and I saw that it ended up becoming an unhealthy situation..
I could not see how I would ever evolve as a man and a human being if I couldn’t set the boundaries and take responsibility for my life. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do and to be completely honest, I’m still trying to get over it. However I know that this temporary pain is nothing compared to what I would have endured if I kept going down that path. Basically, I got so tired of the same s~~~ all the time. I did not have motivation to do anything, not even hangout with my friends. I just wanted to be left alone all the time because I was so tired of doing s~~~ that I didn’t want to do. It started destroying my soul. Even guys that I know that are supposedly happy in their relationship, they are doing the same things I did. They never come out anymore, they never want to have fun.
Before I found MGTOW I would say that I was a wanna be pua. Granted, because I had a girlfriend I could never go out and game girls. I think I watched tons of rsd videos even when I had a girlfriend because it gave me a way to feel something else other then what I was currently feeling. I also would follow a few other lifestyle coaches. Through watching these videos I think this is what started to cause my complete lack of caring about long term relationships. I started to see them as something that would hold me back from living a completely carefree lifestyle with no responsibilities other than the ones I create for myself.
Despite all that, it’s still a tough pill to swallow. I said goodbye to a really nice apartment and with our salaries combined pretty much a sure thing that we would have lived a life of luxury. I just can’t get myself to be ok with getting married. I really can’t. I don’t care who the girl is either. I really cannot see myself ever getting married. It’s not to say that I don’t want companionship or maybe, possibly, another girlfriend at some point, I just can’t get married. I just don’t see the value in it. My ex was a great girlfriend and honestly she would have been a great girl to start a family with, but I just feel like I’m incapable of committing to something that extreme, and I’ve felt that way for a LONG time. I eventually would have let her down.
So that’s my story. Through the next couple years I have some pretty big things planned. I’m going to enjoy my freedom going my own way now and keep moving forward.
Anonymous 4 years ago.
