I am the middle child in my family and as you can imagine life with an older and younger sister can be interesting. When I was 4 my older sister wanted to be a girl scout and rather than dropping her off and paying dues my mother became the troop leader. It wasn’t hard for her to fit it into her schedule being a stay at home mother. Now, for all of you that may think that girl scouts are cute and sweet, I am here to tell you otherwise. 20 9 year old girls can be very cruel to a younger boy. When I would tell my mother about it she would ask me what I had done to them to make them beat the crap out of me. I would have told my father but he was working 2 jobs to support the family and thus was never home. When I was 10 my father was in a car accident and was no longer able to work both jobs. That’s when my mother divorced him. She didn’t like the idea of cutting back on expenses. I got a birds eye view of her sucking my father dry while dating multiple men at the same time. After 5 years she managed to find a sucker to marry her. Now she could be a stay at home mother again. I guess he wasn’t bringing enough to the table for her because when I turned 16 she decided I needed to get a job and start paying rent. $200 a month. It doesn’t sound like much now but working part-time for $5.15 an hour, $200 is a lot. The day I turned 18 I moved out. My mother refused to speak with me for almost a year after I left. ALL women get angry when they can’t control you.
You might think that living with and watching the actions of my mother would steer me clear of women entirely but you’d be wrong. I was still a sucker so very eager to suck down that jagged blue pill.
I proposed to my first girlfriend after 4 years of dating. She said no and left me for my roommate. I actually thought about killing her. It’s funny because I wasn’t even mad at my roommate.
My life went on with the b/s programming that’s beat into the minds of all men. “Marry a woman and destroy yourself giving to her.” I truly believed that was what I wanted. So, I continued dating and finding only abuse and failure. Twice I found myself as the other man. I felt truly terrible for being THAT guy and was willing to take my beating for it and a beating I did receive. I now have scars and a missing tooth to remind myself how s~~~ty women can be.
After getting the crap kicked out of me for the second time I decided to take a break from dating. That was in 2011. Stepping away from something can really give perspective. I found myself filled with anger and hatred toward all women. I ended up scouring the internet for videos and stories of women being hurt emotionally or physically by a man. For a time they made me feel better or so I thought they did. I needed something else though, something more. I needed something to tell me I wasn’t crazy, that societies idea of what it is to be a man is for s~~~. Something to tell me that I don’t have to live up to a woman’s expectation. That I don’t have to be a handsome superhero. That I am allowed to feel pain. That it’s okay to cry. That I don’t need a woman to be happy. That I can be just me going my own way.
Thank you to MGTOW. Thank you to all of you for sharing your stories and giving me insight to myself as well as letting me know that I’m not alone in the world.
IAmMan 3 years, 10 months ago.
