I’m currently awaiting for the court to announce the date for my first appearance for a custody matter over my daughter. Because of the recent election, apparently everything is backed up with all of the new judges being instated. I’m petitioning for joint custody and to be named the primary custodian citing the fact that the c~~~ is a high conflict parent that has been blatantly trying to alienate me from my child.
the lawyer says that this outcome is possible but not probable but that many times the dispute can be a lot like bartering and aiming higher than your desired outcome is often beneficial, especially when trying to reach a settlement and not proceed to a full on trial.
i’ve made it totally explicit to c~~~ that i’ve wanted shared time from the moment she decided to leave. c~~~ has stonewalled me, only agreed to minimal time and has used threats and intimidation in order to continuously sideline me. i’ve been forced to just sit back and take it as i gradually built my case and put myself in a better position to be the petitioner.
i have again been really pushing for her to agree with a 50/50 schedule. my aim in this is to get her to agree before being served. i think that this is a good approach as she will be more likely to settle as she has already established a fair schedule with me.
so far she has continued to refuse. before when i was in a more vulnerable state i just had to put up with it. the lawyer told me not to escalate things before my petition was in, but it is now and she doesn’t have a clue so i think i’m in the clear. i basically told her that because there’s no order i can keep the kid for however long i want if she won’t agree and she can’t do anything about it short of court.
tomorrow is my day to pick my kid up and as i stated would be the beginning of the new schedule. she messages me, saying this:
My dad is coming up Monday Tuesday wednesday. I’ll meet you tomorrow to drop her off to you. I’ll pick her up Monday night as usual, if you’re not there and you choose to withhold her, I will get the cops involved, and that will be that.
to which i respond:
#1 there has to be a court order to enforce any kind of schedule
#2 custody orders are a civil matter that police don’t enforce, they can only make a report that can later be brought to court to enforce a pre-existing order, which we do not have
#3 you just threatened me for no reason which makes you look like just how you’ve acted the entire time, i save all of these so thanks for the ammunition! : )
#4 we’re doing a 50/50 schedule and if you’ll agree to it now, i will respect that your father is coming to visit and we can start our new schedule next week where i will have her sun, mon, tues.
it must be really tough being totally clueless about everything huh?
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i’m not really sure how it’s going to go, it’s not my intent for anything to escalate to this point. i don’t really want to have her go to that length but if she does it will just be another thing to bring up in court portraying her as a high conflict parent and making her appear unfit to be the primary custodian.
But what i can say is that it’s hugely empowering between all of the reading and research i’ve done in combination with actually having retained legal counsel. It’s totally evident that she has not done the same and has no clue about what’s going to unfold based on what she says and her continued course of action.
It really just felt good to tell her to go f~~~ herself in such a manner that i didn’t literally have to say it.
This body holding me is a reminder of my own mortality. Embrace this moment. Remember, we are eternal and all this pain is an illusion.
Balthazar 2 years, 11 months ago.
