Home › Forums › Relations~~~s › Monkey brancing ex-girlfriend story
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Monk 1 year, 10 months ago.
- AuthorPosts
Here is my brief situation, first time being monkey branched:
Dated my ex for almost 3 years. I’m a lawyer (30/M), she was in college (20/F). Dropped out of college and I took care of her, we lived together, traveled together, bought her everything her heart desired and we spent nearly all our time together. Definitely a 9/10 girl looks-wise. However, very clingy, insecure, needy, etc. Looked to me to completely fulfill her happiness. No job (except for the part-time job she got at a very shady strip club 2 months prior to break-up – this is where she met new guy), no real friends, etc. She was head over heels about me and talked all the time about getting married. Also, I am her first love and the longest relationship she’s ever had.
We had our fair share of disagreements/arguments, but nothing really out of the ordinary. There literally wasn’t a day that went by during our 3 years together that we didn’t talk/text. Literally spent all of our free time together when I wasn’t working or travelling for work. She was always worried that I’d end up leaving her for someone better. Constantly thinking I was cheating, trying to catch me cheating, etc. We had a small “break-up” end of September 2017, though wasn’t really a break up. We still talked all the time and got back together a week later. Right after that is when I think she began seeing new guy Chad.
December 2017…the signs were there, I had been in and out of town a good bit and long story short caught her cheating. Told me she had fallen in love with new guy just the week prior, and was leaving me for him. Said she loved him and her feelings with him were different with him than they ever were with me. But, also told me the “I love you and always will but I’m just not in love with you anymore” line. Also told me we’d still be together if it wasn’t for new guy.
Caught me off guard, considering we’d been ring shopping a couple weeks earlier. I sort of went beta, spilled a little of my heart to her and asked (might say begged) her to give us a chance, which she said no. After that point, I never mentioned getting back with her or asking for a second chance. We texted a few times the next couple days, then no more. I traveled again for the next month (for work) and found out she had basically moved new guy into our place with her. I go back, kick him out, and she stays in the spare room until she finds a new place to live, which was about three weeks ago now. While she was still living in my spare room, we talk in passing but nothing really substantive and I never ask for her to back. Unfriended her on all social media, deleted all our texts and trying to forget about her.
Her new guy is divorced with 2 kids, was homeless until he moved in with her at her new place, doesn’t have any education (HS dropout), long criminal history and no job. She went from living in a nice ass condo in LA with me, who paid for literally everything and spoiled her royally, and treated her well, to living in a studio apartment in the ghetto on an air mattress supporting this loser who she “is in love with”. She’s now working two menial jobs to support herself and him. Already were talking marriage after a couple weeks of dating.
The moment she moved out last week, I’ve gone strict NC. Neither I nor any of her family think new guy will last (he’s the complete opposite of everything she’s always said she wanted in a guy) and her family wants nothing to do with him.
Chances she contacts me again? I’m trying to move on and have been on a few dates since, but am preparing myself for that moment when she realizes she ****ed up and wants me back, which all friends and family say will happen.
Thoughts as to whether I’ll hear from her again? I know way better than to take her back, but I’m curious as to whether you all in your experience think she’ll be back around eventually.
The old, are you cheating on me really means flipped, shes the cheater.
Your a lawyer? Next time you see her, say “I’m rich, bitch.”
Shit Tested, Cunt Approved.
This is a girl who always said she could never work a “regular” job because it just wasn’t her, and always had dreamed of being a trophy wife. I give her that life, and she leaves me for loser chad who literally can’t even afford to buy himself lunch. How she goes from me to that, other than just purely physical connection, is beyond me. But hey, I’ve been on 5 dates with 5 girls just this week, so I’ll be just fine.
I’d love to drive by her little shack in my Range Rover and wave hello.
Anonymous5Firstly, acknowledge that you still have feelings for her because that’s how men are wired. It’s the evolutionary biological mechanism that causes men to protect and provide for women. Men can’t just turn off the tap in a heart beat like women (like she did).
Your reptilian brain has a powerful tendency to only remember the “Green, green grass of home” moments and feelings of the relationship and not the reality you really experienced with her.She will try to monkey branch you anytime between now and the next 20 years because you’re a great resource and she’s already learned how to play you.
Even in 20 years time, long after you’re chemically out of love with her, you’ll still have a tendency to idealize and romanticize any association with her.Completely brick wall her, always. No reasoning, no explanations, no replies, nothing. Cutting her out of your life like gangrenous limb is the safest, quickest and least painful way to deal with her. It’s best for her too because she can quickly realize you’re not a viable proposition so she’ll waste less time in finding another resource.
And anyone who tries to influence you to accept her back, do the same.
Anonymous11Don’t, like, do it again.
You’re in love with a stripper? You should get her back and marry her!
Like a bird on the wire, like a drunk midnight choir, I have tried in my way to be free.
Holy s~~~, man. I appreciate the honesty, but how can you be so naive? She was playing you like a fiddle. The only thing I’m confused about – is why would she dump you for a loser. She must be super dumb (or you must be very bad looking or don’t understand the streets or something)
proud carrier of the 'why?' chromosome
Dated my ex for almost 3 years. I’m a lawyer (30/M), she was in college (20/F). Dropped out of college and I took care of her, we lived together, traveled together, bought her everything her heart desired and we spent nearly all our time together. Definitely a 9/10 girl looks-wise. However, very clingy, insecure, needy, etc. Looked to me to completely fulfill her happiness. No job (except for the part-time job she got at a very shady strip club 2 months prior to break-up – this is where she met new guy), no real friends, etc. She was head over heels about me and talked all the time about getting married. Also, I am her first love and the longest relationship she’s ever had.
You’re a lawyer, and you didn’t recognize her behavior as a series of red flags immediately? Even if you’re not a divorce lawyer, but a practitioner in another field of law, you’re exposed to human behavior on a daily basis. Everything about her clingy, insecure, needy behavior should have sent you running to the hills. But the part that baffles is for for a girl you consider a 9/10, that she would be all those things. Most women who fit that category are not. For a multitude of reasons. Chiefly being that they have no shortage of guys hitting on them. In public, and online.
The fact that you were providing for a woman with no job (who is a 9/10????), that you weren’t even married to? WTF were you thinking? You’re not her parents. It’s not your job to be her provider in life. Her so called “head over heels” act was exactly that. An act. You aren’t “head over heels” over someone and taking your clothes off for money to other horny guys. And let’s face it. This was not “spur of the moment”. This was planned. A likely chance is that she was screwing around on you (while you were working your ass off and she was at home). The fact that you avoided marriage is your miracle. This chick would have tried to clean you out down the road.
We had our fair share of disagreements/arguments, but nothing really out of the ordinary. There literally wasn’t a day that went by during our 3 years together that we didn’t talk/text. Literally spent all of our free time together when I wasn’t working or travelling for work. She was always worried that I’d end up leaving her for someone better. Constantly thinking I was cheating, trying to catch me cheating, etc. We had a small “break-up” end of September 2017, though wasn’t really a break up. We still talked all the time and got back together a week later. Right after that is when I think she began seeing new guy Chad.
Women play the cheating card all the time. What you need to understand is, it’s all projection from women. It’s all projection to cover up the fact that they, themselves are the ones who have been cheating. So it gives them some sense of justification for their behavior by framing you as the accused. Which was proved by the fact she DID cheat on you with the guy she met at the strip club. It’s a good bet he wasn’t the only one.
Caught me off guard, considering we’d been ring shopping a couple weeks earlier. I sort of went beta, spilled a little of my heart to her and asked (might say begged) her to give us a chance, which she said no. After that point, I never mentioned getting back with her or asking for a second chance. We texted a few times the next couple days, then no more. I traveled again for the next month (for work) and found out she had basically moved new guy into our place with her. I go back, kick him out, and she stays in the spare room until she finds a new place to live, which was about three weeks ago now. While she was still living in my spare room, we talk in passing but nothing really substantive and I never ask for her to back. Unfriended her on all social media, deleted all our texts and trying to forget about her.
This is where you fked up. Once you caught her cheating, you should have kicked her to the curb. You lost your power in the relationship, and your respect from her by playing the beta simp roll. How pathetic of a man who relegates himself to a bitch, kissing the ass of a woman who respects her relationship so little that she would sleep with someone else. The minute you played that role, you were toast. She has no respect for you at that point. You should have kicked her out immediately. Her living situation isn’t your problem. And fk her for moving her f~~~ pal into your place. Let them go live together somewhere else. Not your problem.
Her new guy is divorced with 2 kids, was homeless until he moved in with her at her new place, doesn’t have any education (HS dropout), long criminal history and no job. She went from living in a nice ass condo in LA with me, who paid for literally everything and spoiled her royally, and treated her well, to living in a studio apartment in the ghetto on an air mattress supporting this loser who she “is in love with”. She’s now working two menial jobs to support herself and him. Already were talking marriage after a couple weeks of dating.
You gave her everything she wanted. That’s where you went wrong. But it doesn’t matter. If you give her everything she wants, she gets bored and resents you. Don’t give her what she wants, and she resents you for not providing. The fact is, she wanted someone “new and exciting”. This guy was the prototypical “bad boy”. Bad boys are always more exciting than guys who have their s~~~ together. Says a lot about her, and women like her who would rather be with and f~~~ a guy who doesn’t have a pot to p~~~ in or a window to throw it out of, vs the guy who has his s~~~ together.
The moment she moved out three weeks ago, I’ve gone strict NC. Neither I nor any of her family think new guy will last (he’s the complete opposite of everything she’s always said she wanted in a guy) and her family wants nothing to do with him.
Chances she contacts me again? I’m trying to move on and have been on a few dates since, but am preparing myself for that moment when she realizes she ****ed up and wants me back, which all friends and family say will happen.
Thoughts as to whether I’ll hear from her again? I know way better than to take her back, but I’m curious as to whether you all in your experience think she’ll be back around eventually.
Of course not. Because the people close to the situation with any semblance of intelligence see this guy as a deadbeat. Oh well. Not your problem. Women always come back thinking they fked up. Because for them, the grass is always greener on the other side, until they get there and determine it’s not. You should fully expect her to come crawling back. Your response should be to ghost the bitch!
Holy s~~~, man. I appreciate the honesty, but how can you be so naive? She was playing you like a fiddle. The only thing I’m confused about – is why would she dump you for a loser. She must be super dumb
Hindsight is 20/20, I guess. But hey, I got 2.5 years of some great sex, so I can’t complain too much. It really blows my mind how she would leave me for a guy like that, her mom says the guy is a total baffoon and the biggest loser she’s ever met, and thinks it’s just a physical infatuation.
This isn’t monkey branching up. She went for a Chad. Never talk to her again. It’s that simple.
"I've been thinking about what it would be like if we got back together."
"You know it's too late for that."She’ll try to get back with you many times later. MAKE SURE YOU DON’T GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!!!!! F~~~ her, but don’t let her step a foot in your house
proud carrier of the 'why?' chromosome
Lawyaman, you are not red pilled brother. You’re still talking to her mom and obviously want her back.
You should just sit back, lurk on here for a few months, then if the Mgtow life is for you, welcome. But you are not ready for this place.
Like a bird on the wire, like a drunk midnight choir, I have tried in my way to be free.
This is a girl who always said she could never work a “regular” job because it just wasn’t her, and always had dreamed of being a trophy wife. I give her that life, and she leaves me for loser chad who literally can’t even afford to buy himself lunch. How she goes from me to that, other than just purely physical connection, is beyond me. But hey, I’ve been on 5 dates with 5 girls just this week, so I’ll be just fine.
I’d love to drive by her little shack in my Range Rover and wave hello.
Dude, she was bulls~~~ting you to get you to use your resources on providing for her. She was effectively the deadbeat that she is now providing for. She was never yours, it was just your turn.
This isn’t monkey branching up. She went for a Chad. Never talk to her again. It’s that simple.
Monkey branching down, then?
Lawyaman, you are not red pilled brother. You’re still talking to her mom and obviously want her back.
You should just sit back, lurk on here for a few months, then if the Mgtow life is for you, welcome. But you are not ready for this place.
Don’t talk to her parents anymore, haven’t in weeks. I’ve fully gone my own way. Not 100% a red piller yet, but I’m getting there.
Monkey branching down, then?
Nah. Monkey branching is when a girl improves her situation by leaving a man and dating someone more powerful/rich.
Your situation is just a girl looking for a Chad to get some excitement. She will likely try and come back to you because she’ll miss the resources you provide. Be sure to not take the bait.
"I've been thinking about what it would be like if we got back together."
"You know it's too late for that."Dated my ex for almost 3 years. I’m a lawyer (30/M), she was in college (20/F). Dropped out of college and I took care of her, we lived together, traveled together, bought her everything her heart desired and we spent nearly all our time together. Definitely a 9/10 girl looks-wise. However, very clingy, insecure, needy, etc. Looked to me to completely fulfill her happiness. No job (except for the part-time job she got at a very shady strip club 2 months prior to break-up – this is where she met new guy), no real friends, etc. She was head over heels about me and talked all the time about getting married. Also, I am her first love and the longest relationship she’s ever had.
You’re a lawyer, and you didn’t recognize her behavior as a series of red flags immediately? Even if you’re not a divorce lawyer, but a practitioner in another field of law, you’re exposed to human behavior on a daily basis. Everything about her clingy, insecure, needy behavior should have sent you running to the hills. But the part that baffles is for for a girl you consider a 9/10, that she would be all those things. Most women who fit that category are not. For a multitude of reasons. Chiefly being that they have no shortage of guys hitting on them. In public, and online.
The fact that you were providing for a woman with no job (who is a 9/10????), that you weren’t even married to? WTF were you thinking? You’re not her parents. It’s not your job to be her provider in life. Her so called “head over heels” act was exactly that. An act. You aren’t “head over heels” over someone and taking your clothes off for money to other horny guys. And let’s face it. This was not “spur of the moment”. This was planned. A likely chance is that she was screwing around on you (while you were working your ass off and she was at home). The fact that you avoided marriage is your miracle. This chick would have tried to clean you out down the road.
We had our fair share of disagreements/arguments, but nothing really out of the ordinary. There literally wasn’t a day that went by during our 3 years together that we didn’t talk/text. Literally spent all of our free time together when I wasn’t working or travelling for work. She was always worried that I’d end up leaving her for someone better. Constantly thinking I was cheating, trying to catch me cheating, etc. We had a small “break-up” end of September 2017, though wasn’t really a break up. We still talked all the time and got back together a week later. Right after that is when I think she began seeing new guy Chad.
Women play the cheating card all the time. What you need to understand is, it’s all projection from women. It’s all projection to cover up the fact that they, themselves are the ones who have been cheating. So it gives them some sense of justification for their behavior by framing you as the accused. Which was proved by the fact she DID cheat on you with the guy she met at the strip club. It’s a good bet he wasn’t the only one.
Caught me off guard, considering we’d been ring shopping a couple weeks earlier. I sort of went beta, spilled a little of my heart to her and asked (might say begged) her to give us a chance, which she said no. After that point, I never mentioned getting back with her or asking for a second chance. We texted a few times the next couple days, then no more. I traveled again for the next month (for work) and found out she had basically moved new guy into our place with her. I go back, kick him out, and she stays in the spare room until she finds a new place to live, which was about three weeks ago now. While she was still living in my spare room, we talk in passing but nothing really substantive and I never ask for her to back. Unfriended her on all social media, deleted all our texts and trying to forget about her.
This is where you fked up. Once you caught her cheating, you should have kicked her to the curb. You lost your power in the relationship, and your respect from her by playing the beta simp roll. How pathetic of a man who relegates himself to a bitch, kissing the ass of a woman who respects her relationship so little that she would sleep with someone else. The minute you played that role, you were toast. She has no respect for you at that point. You should have kicked her out immediately. Her living situation isn’t your problem. And fk her for moving her f~~~ pal into your place. Let them go live together somewhere else. Not your problem.
Her new guy is divorced with 2 kids, was homeless until he moved in with her at her new place, doesn’t have any education (HS dropout), long criminal history and no job. She went from living in a nice ass condo in LA with me, who paid for literally everything and spoiled her royally, and treated her well, to living in a studio apartment in the ghetto on an air mattress supporting this loser who she “is in love with”. She’s now working two menial jobs to support herself and him. Already were talking marriage after a couple weeks of dating.
You gave her everything she wanted. That’s where you went wrong. But it doesn’t matter. If you give her everything she wants, she gets bored and resents you. Don’t give her what she wants, and she resents you for not providing. The fact is, she wanted someone “new and exciting”. This guy was the prototypical “bad boy”. Bad boys are always more exciting than guys who have their s~~~ together. Says a lot about her, and women like her who would rather be with and f~~~ a guy who doesn’t have a pot to p~~~ in or a window to throw it out of, vs the guy who has his s~~~ together.
The moment she moved out three weeks ago, I’ve gone strict NC. Neither I nor any of her family think new guy will last (he’s the complete opposite of everything she’s always said she wanted in a guy) and her family wants nothing to do with him.
Chances she contacts me again? I’m trying to move on and have been on a few dates since, but am preparing myself for that moment when she realizes she ****ed up and wants me back, which all friends and family say will happen.
Thoughts as to whether I’ll hear from her again? I know way better than to take her back, but I’m curious as to whether you all in your experience think she’ll be back around eventually.
Of course not. Because the people close to the situation with any semblance of intelligence see this guy as a deadbeat. Oh well. Not your problem. Women always come back thinking they fked up. Because for them, the grass is always greener on the other side, until they get there and determine it’s not. You should fully expect her to come crawling back. Your response should be to ghost the bitch!
To be honest, during the first several months of the relationship it was just fun and sex for me, but I did start developing feelings after that, and honestly ignored the red flags. You’re right though, it was/is very odd that a girl with her looks would have such low self esteem and exhibit those traits. She got hit on EVERYWHERE we went, even when I was with her, and this is a girl who was legit recruited by Playboy, no lie. Even more bizarre that a girl like her who could get any guy she wanted, would choose such a low life.
And yep, I’ve known several gorgeous girls in my time who have gone for abject losers and bad boys. They end up going from relationship to relationship, popping out kids, being abused and never happy. The bad boy thing might be fun for a bit, but when reality with a bad boy sits in and they’re p~~~ing in the bushes, it hits like a brick wall.
I know I f~~~ed up by not immediately kicking her out, but hindsight is 20/20. To be completely honest, this is my first time being dumped. I’ve ALWAYS been the one to dump girls, so it was a new experience for me, and finding this and a couple other forums has helped me realize how to handle things next time this happens to me, if ever.
Your post here is about the most logical and insightful piece of advice and perspective I’ve seen. Thanks for all your input!
It’s funny how when I was a bad boy loser, no 9s or 10s would ever have anything to do with me. What was I doing wrong? ))
proud carrier of the 'why?' chromosome
It’s funny how when I was a bad boy loser, no 9s or 10s would ever have anything to do with me. What was I doing wrong? ))
No joke…I jokingly told my friend the other day that I might, in order to get a 9 or 10 woman, need to sell my car, quit my job, get a couple neck tats and pitch a tent on the street. Apparently that’s what they like? Who can figure out the mind of a woman.
It’s funny how when I was a bad boy loser, no 9s or 10s would ever have anything to do with me. What was I doing wrong? ))
No joke…I jokingly told my friend the other day that I might, in order to get a 9 or 10 woman, need to sell my car, quit my job, get a couple neck tats and pitch a tent on the street. Apparently that’s what they like? Who can figure out the mind of a woman.
Who cares what they like? Quality men don’t derive self worth from the validation of women. These women aren’t worth your time. Deep down, you know this. As for who can figure out their minds? WE DO. And we walk away. For good reason. Many of the men on here, myself included understand how women operate. And it’s usually in contradiction to what comes out of their mouths. Modern women offer nothing. Most can’t cook, most have student debt in meaningless degrees, most are too absorbed in their smart phones to hold a quality conversation, and most aren’t even reliable on the sex front because of the growing number of women with STD’s. Ironically enough, these are the broads with the “standards” in men. Women who should be counting their blessings that men would even give them the time of day.
Anonymous5Two polar opposites both have videos on Youtube now explaining how women are attracted to jerks, Tom Leykis and Jordan Peterson. You can bet there are many others.
Google “I’m attracted/addicted to emotionally unavailable men” and you’ll get a landslide. You’ll get the same theme constantly appearing in talk shows, gossip magazines and women’s conversations.
There’s many antisocial and or dysfunctional criteria that define a chad but the main or essential trait is that he’s sociopathic towards the woman, and always stays that way. He’s the flame, she’s the moth. She’s caught in a never ending NAWALT loop. Even if he dumps her or she has to leave for reality sake, she’ll always secretly want/lust after him.
In the final analysis, it’s evolutionary genetics and basically enables women to increase the chances of her genes surviving, as long as they secure a beta to protect and provide for her and her offspring.
Don’t be that beta.- AuthorPosts
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