Sex is like math you add the bed subtract the cloths divide the legs and hope you don’t have to multiply.
A definition: Penis is one of two things men keep after a divorce. Used in a sentence: She got the house and kids, I kept my penis and soul.
A definition: Onegina is a disease men get when they marry. Symptoms include depression and despair. Easily cured with some money and a motel room. Used in a sentence: I don’t wanna get stuck with onegina the rest of my life.
A definition: Screwnicorn is when two lesbians get naked and strap dildos to their foreheads, they get down on all fours and crawl around trying to penetrate each other.
more definitions:
The Gecko
When you are having vaginal intercourse with a girl in the standing doggy position with her leaning against a wall, the penis is removed and thrust into her anal orifice, thus causing her to attempt to “run” up the wall like a gecko.
Portland Pull-Start
This is a special treat native to Portland, Oregon.
This is best done on a fat girl you can trick into anal play. The great thing about the Portland pull-start is that all you need is a fat girl and some butt beads. The larger the beads, the larger the fun. Get her on all fours and get behind her. Insert all the beads very, very gently while playing with her fat vagina. Now place your left hand on the middle of her fat back while still holding onto the butt beads with your right and PULL START that bitch!! If you are wondering ‘Why the fat girl?’ It’s so you can get away.
The 300
When you have just finished having sex, you make sure your naked partner is at the end of the bed near your feet. Then yell “This is Sparta!” and kick her off the bed.
Pink Sock
This is the result of excessive anal plundering; the intestines actually exit through the anus, forming a dangling mass, resembling a pink sock.
Alligator F~~~house
A daring sexual maneuver: Mid-coitus, one person bites the neck of the other, locks their arms and legs down and goes into a deathroll, all while maintaining insertion. Like downshifting a car!
Chicago Waffle
Taking a s~~~ on someone’s laptop and closing the screen.
Irish handcuffs: When a person is carrying an alcoholic beverage in each hand at the same time.Sir, you are under arrest! Hold these two beers and follow me
Norwegian steam engine
I took this ole skank out on lovers lane and gave her the ole Norwegian steam engine.
This is a sexual maneuver that should only be attempted by level 7 or higher practitioners. You take a girl out to a secluded location in full sized four door sedan.You get in the back seat and start doing her doggy style.It becomes very hot and stuffy,so you roll down the back window.When the girl sticks her head out the window to cool off,you crank the window back up on her neck just far enough as not to choke her but far enough she can’t escape.You duct tape a lit cigar to her mouth and proceed you corn hole her.Every time you thrust,twin smoke rings come out of her nostrils.
I was bound to be misunderstood, and I laugh at those who misunderstand me. Kind mockery at the well intentioned, but unfettered cruelty towards those would be prison guards of my creative possibilities. This so as to learn as much from misunderstanding as from understanding. Taking pleasure in worthy opponents and making language fluid and flowing like a river yet pointed and precise as a dagger. Contradicts the socialistic purpose of language and makes for a wonderful linguistic dance, A verbal martial art with constant parries that hone the weapon that is the two edged sword of my mouth.
Rat_Rod_Russell 1 month, 2 weeks ago.
