Hello all, new member here saying hi.
My story then. I’m 47 and going through a divorce after a five year marriage. It’ll be fine, no financial repercussions, no kids, and I’m looking forward to being on my own and escaping the complaints, pressure, disappointment and the slow death of mutual trust that characterised the last year of my marriage. I have mixed feelings towards my soon-to-be-ex-wife now, but I agree the relationship is dead. Moving on.
I was never a Blue Pill guy. Maybe when I was 15 and had no experience. But I hit 17, my looks developed and I got a ‘rock’ look and suddenly the girls were throwing themselves at me. I was naturally ‘c~~~y and funny,’ I think I had good role models for that in my family, so it seemed normal; and Sam Malone had always been a hero of mine, so I wanted to be a pick-up guy too. I was not afraid to approach, mainly in clubs and gigs, but anywhere – I once picked up a girl in a shoe shop for example, and we were f~~~ing very soon after. She ‘didn’t normally do that sort of thing.’ Sure. So I got that hot women wanted sex. I could imagine what a hot woman must find dull in most men, and how her life experience as a hot woman would affect her compared to an average-looking women, and so what turned her on instead. I noted that having a bad rep just caused the line of women to get longer. I had a number of often long term relationships, the longest was nine years, and sometimes I was single with a bunch of f~~~ buddies and having one night stands. Sometimes I was single and getting nothing.
Never had kids, came close in that nine year relationship, but looking after a friend’s (totally great) kid for a week made me realise how tiring and repetitive it was. I got scared off, but sometimes wonder if the pay-off would have been worth it. Or maybe I dodged a bullet.
Around my late twenties I decided to not be such a selfish asshole (I think maybe I caught ‘guilt’ off my ex-Catholic partner), but noticed this didn’t get genuine approval from women – or rather they couldn’t help but take my kindness for weakness. Still, I wanted to be a decent human being anyway. And 20 years of trying to be a decent human being later, I note that kindness gets taken for weakness a hell of a lot. ‘What do you want from a woman’, I’d often advise guys, ‘a pat on the head or a mouth round your c~~~?’ I did my best to educate men, first male friends then on the internet, out of being ignored or used and abused by women and become confident and attractive and happier, although it meant they needed to accept some harsh truths about women and knock them off that pedestal. And of course most did not want to hear.
So in my 30s I was giving out dating/Be a Manly Man advice to ‘AFCs’ on the internet, before I’d read what an AFC was. When I read sites like SoSuave I felt like I knew most of what they were saying already but the remaining 10-20% caused me to swallow the Red Pill completely. Then the PUA thing exploded and I didn’t want to be another guy on the internet telling men what to do as the info was out there if they wanted. Personally I was moving away from any fakeness I got from PUA material in pulling women as it was ruining the fun – just tried to keep the important stuff internalized. There was stuff on SoSuave about ‘being the best man you can be’ which resonated more, and probably partly led me here.
But my life has also had its share of terribly weak ‘AFC’ behaviour, when I was heartbroken or too deep in a relationship to realise I’d become too passive or eager to please. That s~~~ can snowball. Ideally both people in a relationship should be eager to please, but we don’t live in that ideal world now do we. On the whole I’m not that bitter about women, just disappointed that the good ones – and I have had relationships with good ones – are so f~~~ing rare. Or maybe there was always something damaged in me (I’m adopted), so that helped me be an attractive asshole but also means deep down maybe I’m not surprised how things worked out – all things move towards their end. And yeah, modern women don’t seem to want to ever settle down. A few years out to raise some kids and then they want to party again. I’m sick of it, and that seems natural for a lot of men at 47.
Last year I had an accident, fell down some stairs, broke my foot, got nerve damage, constant pain all day every day for over 6 months. Not all clear yet. The reason I mention it is because it seemed to prove the idea that most women just despise a man when he’s in his greatest need. I was needy, and I needed my wife to be a caring wife. She failed, and eventually said I wanted her to be a mother not a wife. Yeah that line. My mum took care of my very ill dad towards the end of his life, that’s what I would expect from a wife, to be there ‘in sickness and health.’ To be fair by that point my own behaviour had caused the relationship a lot of damage. I went crazy off antibiotics of all things for two years, I gradually turned into a nasty mess and she was on the end of most of it. Not my fault, we agreed when we finally figured out it was the antibiotics, but she thought it brought out the ‘real me’ which I strongly disagree with. Oh and she did take care of me through an earlier health incident (and she cooked almost every day of our marriage despite working harder than me). The divorce is/was rocky but I think we’ll be friends after. On another level, she is incapable of ever saying she is wrong or saying sorry, and does a lot of the other crap that women do.
I came off the crazy pills straight into the accident, and I guess she’d had enough. I had to toughen up when the separation/divorce was agreed because she became a total bitch. No respect for me, couldn’t give a crap about whether I was still in pain or not. I didn’t argue when she said she wanted to split, I told her she’d let me down too much anyway, and that generally I’d had enough of women, and that’s how I’m feeling now. Don’t want ’em, don’t need ’em.
My libido has gone too, which is both a worry and a relief. It could be because of the stress and divorce or it could because I’m close to fifty. We’ll see what happens, I am in good shape for my age and reckon I could still get hot women for sex or a partner, but have no desire for either right now.
I heard about MGTOW about a year ago, and got the idea pretty quick. I didn’t think it would be for me, as I’d always want interaction and sex with women, but that’s changed now. Women can’t help being women, and you either deal with that or walk away. I don’t feel like dealing with it at the moment, and if that continues maybe its for the best. No pressure! No drama! But I might get bored with my own company at some point and try it again. I will need my dick to work though, and I’m a little worried it’s not going to. Not looking at porn either, it bores me now. It’s weird.
So that’s my very long introduction. I’ll get stuck into more threads and comment if I have anything to offer. I just found a couple of animated things I did and put on YouTube years ago that are in tune with the site, I’ll link to them maybe.
Good to be a member.
Karnak.
Karnak 3 years, 11 months ago.
When I was in my 20’s a relative used Karnak flashing cement to cover all the rot holes in his rear wheel wells to pass inspection, the inspector reached in and poked around, his hand came out with tar all over his fingers, he looked p~~~ed off, but passed the car anyway! 
