MARRIAGE INFIDELITY – YOU ARE GOING TO LIKE THIS POST

[Robert HallamParticipant 696]

When it comes to cheating men are oblivious and women are concealing. When it comes to getting caught women are snoopy and men are careless. So it is little wonder that even though women cheat on men just as much as men cheat on women, it’s the women in the majority of cases that come up with the evidence and file for divorce first. But when a wife or girlfriend cheats, it’s generally her spouse that is the last to know. Guys, you have to get the evidence first. Here are a few tips.
Communication Devices
Snooping on your partner is a sign of insecurity and lack of trust. We don’t want snooping. If a relationship is based on trust a husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend should have no objection to her partner having full access to their spouse’s cell phone, text messages, e-mail accounts, photos, user names, contact list, and passwords, etc. Having a casual or occasional look at your spouse’s day-to-day communications isn’t snooping but keeping abreast of what’s going on in their lives. But if one of the partners won’t let you borrow their phone, keeps it locked all the time, hides the screen when messages arrive, deletes all their messages and e-mails, turns it off after looking at who’s calling, or walks away to talk, then he/she has something to hide.
Women are the communicators, and a cell phone is her life line. If she’s having an affair she’s constantly thinking how do I keep him interested while I’m with my husband, keeping him away from someone more available, or letting him know ways they can get together? That’s when the sexting starts. She’ll use very graphic messages and pictures to keep him expecting more. She can’t keep him wanting her more with texts like “Are we supposed to be working late on Friday”? To keep the partners level of anticipation up and to make sure he gets the message there’s more and better to come, she’s got to write sexts like “I can’t wait ‘till I can wrap my lips around you dick again.”
Women who are cheating are running a balancing act. They don’t want to lose the husband, and father of the kids, until they are absolutely sure the new guy is going to step up. And they don’t want to lose the new guy until they figure out how to get rid of the husband. So if your spouse displays any of the behaviour described above, or you flat out expect she’s having an affair, there is plenty of technology in the form of a simple inexpensive app, that you can load on to a cell phone that will allow your cell phone to see what messages are being exchanged in real time, and can recover text messages even when deleted.
Surveillance Devices
Invariably a woman cheats with someone she already knows; a family member like a brother-in-law, a co-worker, or a boss, or an ex. You will probably have already met him. The list is generally limited. But sooner or later she’s going to want or find a way to hook up. Even teenage girls are adept at escaping through a window. The problem is you don’t know when or where, and on top of that, you’ve got to go to work or go out of town. When it comes to where, it could be his place, a hotel, or your home, and even in the car. But don’t let this deter you. The technology is available to give you real time feedback on where she is, using the GPS function of her cell phone or a tracking device installed on her car. These technologies work even when the car is parked or the cell phone is off. If she’s meeting someone somewhere other than your home, it shouldn’t take you long to figure it out. If your home is the rendezvous, you’ll need just one or two miniaturized nanny-cams or pin-hole cameras that are triggered by a motion detector and strategically placed. She’s going to be getting ready for his arrival, and she’s going to want a comfortable place to screw.
Paternity Testing Devices
Paternity testing covers two different scenarios. The first is she’s claiming that she’s pregnant and accusing you of being the biological father. The second is that you are not the biological father of the children you are supporting or being ordered by the courts to support.
We’ve all seen cases without resorting to watching Jerry Springer, where a woman is pressuring a partner to marry, or pony up, because of an unexpected pregnancy. In many cases the actual date of inception, if not also the biological partner, is in question. Every man wants and has a right to know if an expected child is his or not. In these cases the man is entitled to see the results of a pregnancy test (and I don’t mean a stick you pee on) and an ultrasound. If she’s pregnant, then the expectant father is entitled to have an approximate date of inception and date of delivery. Once the baby arrives, he is entitled to ask for a DNA test for paternity before his name is placed on the child’s Birth Certificate. A test sample of the mother is not required. If the mother refuses to allow a sample of the baby’s blood or saliva to be taken once it is born, then you can be absolutely sure the baby’s biological father is someone else less reliable.
With respect to the second issue during a divorce, it is simply a matter of determining which children of a partnership are the biological offspring of the supposed father. At the request of appellants, some Courts are now granting father’s requests for paternity testing before awarding child support. Up until just recently, the cost of having a paternity test has been prohibitive. But with PCR, DNA analyses has become very inexpensive. Laboratories usually ask for blood samples, because of the accuracy needed.
In the 70’s it was well known fact in medical circles and advanced blood testing that between 10% and 15% of children were being raised by men other than the biological fathers. That number has gone up with the testing of additional blood factors to around about 15% to 20%. That of course includes groups such as adopted children, but it is surprisingly high. While it has always been commonly believed that men cheat more often than women, the question has always been who are these men cheating with? New evidence suggests that women actually cheat just as much as men but men are more likely to be caught. With the new technology that is going to change.
Infidelity DNA Testing
With the number of genetic laboratories springing up across the country, we have seen a large number offering DNA testing for forensic, paternity, relationship, immigration, and ancestry purposes. They are also now fully capable of infidelity testing using blood, semen, saliva and stains on underwear (panties), sheets and clothing. Bill Clinton will remember the little blue dress. Their services are confidential and inexpensive. A paternity test for example costs about $250 and a test for presence of the male XY chromosome is just $100. Laboratories provide test kits and instructions on collecting samples, freezing clothing, and submitting samples.

[harpo-my-“SON”Participant 2410]

Maybe the few married guys lurking will find something helpful here..I myself used the old police trick saying “your partner in crime done spilled the beans”..Got the guy and my ex-wife to confess…

I was bound to be misunderstood, and I laugh at those who misunderstand me. Kind mockery at the well intentioned, but unfettered cruelty towards those would be prison guards of my creative possibilities. This so as to learn as much from misunderstanding as from understanding. Taking pleasure in worthy opponents and making language fluid and flowing like a river yet pointed and precise as a dagger. Contradicts the socialistic purpose of language and makes for a wonderful linguistic dance, A verbal martial art with constant parries that hone the weapon that is the two edged sword of my mouth.

[Primus_PilusParticipant 41]

Interesting summary of the technology available.    However, study the laws in your state carefully.   At least one of these tactics is a Class A misdemeanor with a fine and jail time of 6 to 12 months for doing it.

Texas Penal Code

Sec. 16.06.  UNLAWFUL INSTALLATION OF TRACKING DEVICE.  (a)  In this section:

(1)  “Electronic or mechanical tracking device” means a device capable of emitting an electronic frequency or other signal that may be used by a person to identify, monitor, or record the location of another person or object.

(2)  “Motor vehicle” has the meaning assigned by Section 501.002, Transportation Code.

(b)  A person commits an offense if the person knowingly installs an electronic or mechanical tracking device on a motor vehicle owned or leased by another person.

(c)  An offense under this section is a Class A misdemeanor.

 

[Smitty the Great OneParticipant 1535]

but Primus, do you know what a motor vehicle is? The Devil is in the details…

Life is too long to play by someone elses rules....

[J.D SilvernailParticipant 383]

Well the best way to avoid marriage infidelity is to become a single-womanizer and never get married.

I'm married to the game,but she broke her vows.

[Robert HallamParticipant 696]

Hello All; especially Won’tGetFooledAgain

I get so tired of reading where female infidelity is rationalized as being a fault of the husband; usually stated as the husband failed or wasn’t fulfilling her “needs”; whatever that may entail since I have never yet seen a decent definition of what a woman’s “needs” are. But I am a retired biologist with a long history with women. In my younger days I would have been labeled an Alpha male concealed in an outward Beta persona. My concealed Alpha traits came down to me directly from my mother (a tart, slut, or whore, you name it) and my outward Beta traits came down to me from my father who was an upstanding honorable man with Victorian principles. My mother made my father’s life a living hell, but he stuck it out until all the kids, of doubtful paternity, had grown and moved out, just to see his wife (my mother) cheat one more time and leave him for another man. Her infidelity was always just barely hidden but blatantly obvious to me and my siblings.

I apologize for the foregoing digression but I thought a little of my background was necessary. So back to a comparison between male and female infidelity. I’m not a family or marriage councilor. My expertise in this subject area is based entirely on first hand knowledge of several cases of infidelity in which I have been involved. As I mentioned in a previous post, I have an ability, which I don’t think is in any way unique and probably common among men in general, to be able to walk into a room, filled with couples and within a few minutes, being able to identify right away which women would be susceptible to a flirtatious approach and would willingly cheat on their husbands / boyfriends. They themselves may not know it, and may not be thinking about it, but they exude characteristics of “the type”. You can forget about the dowdy ones. The ones I’m referring to are the chatty ones, the extroverts who are trying just a little to hard; dressed a little too sexy; act a little too animated.

In my experience here is how it all starts; at least this was my modus operandi. Get these women by themselves for less than five minutes private conversation. Even in a crowded room where her husband and everyone else can see her, being in an intimate situation (just you and her) she becomes all ears and eyes. In this semi-intimate situation women change. They want desperately to know if she’s desirable, attractive, and alluring enough for you to want to get her into bed. That’s what she’s looking and listening for. That may be a bit bluntly stated but that is in fact exactly what I have found to be the case. If you talk about fence paint, forget it. If you are looking into her eyes, boobs, and hips, she’s watching. She notices. It’s just fun at this point and she can claim she was just being friendly. What she wants now is verbal confirmation she’s giving you a hard on (at least some sexual impact). She doesn’t want to be thought of as “not sexy”. Her ears are connected directly to her libido. If she hears what she’s looking for, basically that you find her irresistible (alternatively gorgeous, stunning, etc) and would love to have just a taste, she’ll have gotten what she wanted, and more for the moment. Her husband can’t possibly compete with this; it’s just not a thrill or normal practice for a husband to go around trying to seduce his wife. But, rather than the seeds of doubt, at this point the seeds of her fantasies have been sewn. Here is where female infidelity starts getting disgusting. This gets translated into the other man (OM) gave her a compliment; was fulfilling her “needs” which her husband didn’t. It’s never stated that the OM made her horny and she really wanted to know “if he thinks I’m that great what would it be like to f~~~ the guy”.

Doesn’t really matter what the OM was like, she can’t leave it alone in her mind. Because it doesn’t happen to her that often, it’s addicting. She starts fantasizing, and the OM becomes the focus of her fantasies. Of course she’s not going to tell her husband what she feels. All she’ll say is “OH yeah, I had a really good time and that OM is a really nice guy”. She’s not going to tell her husband that she would sure like a tumble in the sack with the OM just to see what it’s like.

Her fantasies turn into what women call emotional infidelity (not real infidelity). Believing the OM finds her desirable, alluring or whatever, she wants more (her “needs”). She wants to try really impressing him. She’ll start planning. If there’s a way to get a repeat accidental meeting with the OM, she’ll push her husband in that direction. But one way or another she’ll find a way. She’ll find a way to get that intimacy again but this time she’ll be going all out to impress the guy. She’ll actually be doing the initiating (even at the getting ready to go out stage) even it it’s the OM that says hello. She knows exactly what’s going on. And this, in my experience, is where contact information is exchanged with the very implicit expectation that she wants more to come. She’ll be quite open about how and when to contact her (“E-mail me at work”, “Call me tomorrow morning after 9:00”). For him, the OM, to stay interested she has to spice up the text messages or the phone calls with promises of excitement. He’ll be doing the same.

Without going into details it is my experience that she’ll be the one to direct the affair from this point onward, arranging rendezvous, setting the time and place, hiding it from her husband, being sneaky, conniving, lying and what have you. The range of human frailties that women will stoop to in hiding their illicit affairs becomes disgusting. And believe me the sex and intrigue is one huge aphrodisiac and that’s what she’s there for. But it will all be justified by tell everyone she was searching for the intimacy she didn’t get from her husband. She has “needs” that her husband didn’t fulfill. What a load of crap.

When the infidelity comes to the surface, it all becomes the husbands fault that she strayed. Oh yeah! She would never say, she just wanted an exciting f~~~ on the side. She’ll call it emotional infidelity and the sex wasn’t important. This is entirely bulls~~~ and an attempt to minimize the significance of her infidelity. But a man would tell it like it is and he’s condemned to committing physical infidelity. He didn’t have any “needs” that his wife wasn’t fulfilling. He didn’t “need” to be complimented, have his ego boosted, felt to be attractive, felt to be desired by other women. No the guy was just plain old horny and couldn’t keep his dick in his pants.

[Won'tGetFooledAgainParticipant 3293]

Robert Hallam,  you have just described the final few months of my marriage perfectly.  You have also just reminded me of a situation that happened to me about a month before we split.  We were at a wedding and I was sitting next to a couple who were in their late 20’s.  She was fairly hot and he looked a bit of a douche to be honest.  I was a complete Blue Pill Beta at this point and took everything at face value.

A few hours into the wedding she turns to face me and just starts talking to me.  We chat for about 15 minutes and I think nothing more of it.  As I start talking to my wife she tells me that the woman was interested in me.  I tell her that she is mistaken and she starts telling me about how the woman I was chatting to had deliberately turned her back to her boyfriend and was flirting with me.

Now I realise my wife spotted all of this as she was doing the same thing with other men at the time.   A friend of ours who I had not seen in a year or two spoke to us as we were leaving and told us there was something going on between my wife and I.  He told my wife that if she was cheating on me, he would find the guy and sort him out.  My wife told him that he was being silly and nothing was going on.

He was 100% spot on and like you, I think he can instantly spot the women who are looking for this attention.

I personally think that eventually all women go looking for this attention if they think they can get it.

For women, everything eventually boils down to Alpha Fucks, Beta Bucks.

[ExsliventxsParticipant 1067]

I don’t care if I’m cheating or not, if I’m just dating you, you don’t get to go through my personal s~~~ because you feel insecure. You can keep your hands off my phone/wallet/laptop etc.

Now in marriage, this may not be true, but then, I’m not getting married.

[Robert HallamParticipant 696]

How right you are.  I have found in my experience that women tend to cheat mainly for sexual gratification after getting hooked on flattery.  And this s~~~ about it being on the spur of the moment and her not being able to stop herself is total crap.  Women do a lot of planning and thinking about infidelity long before it happens.  They are the ones who generally control it and initiate it.  All this other bulls~~~ about having to fulfill my emotional needs is rationalization, and just that; BS. Why do I think this or actually know this? Because if women were honest about their cheating and only cheated for intimacy, closeness and all that other BS, then men who are faithful, loving and caring would never get cheated on,  Yet it is precisely these kinds of men, the Bata pussies, who get cheated on the most.  She has no respect for him.

It is far better to be an Alpha male (husband) that lets his wife know in no uncertain terms that if she ever strayed or even appeared to have strayed, it would be game over.  No second chance.  The marriage would be over.  And be absolutely clear about this,  In addition he should always let his wife feel that he would cheat on her at any time, with any thing, and any where.  She should always have that feeling of a little insecurity.  The feeling that she dare not trust you for a minute, that she has to keep an eye on you all the time, I think you get what I mean.

I also personally believe that women cheat more than men do, are much better liars, much better at concealing their infidelity, and get away with it far more than men.

[DarthWParticipant 70]

I believe you are right Robert that such personalities are often discernible.  When I once had a job in home medical equipment, I got to where I could pretty accurately predict the folks who I’d be tracking down to retrieve the equipment from a pawn shop, relatives home, etc.  and the ones who would be super compliant, etc.  The same goes for cheating hobags.

[Robert HallamParticipant 696]

Heah Won’t Get Fooled Again

I am sorry this post is so long but I felt that it was right on target.

I got this article off the web by a guy named Jake Buttler and it highlights exactly why your prognostication that the internet is going to be a huge problem is right on the mark. It also reinforces your statements about all women being candidates for infidelity.  it also supports my assertion that it is easy to identify women from a crowded room, who will cheat, and my point that it is a huge fallacy that men are more likely to cheat than women. Here is Buttler’s take from his personal experience. He says women cheat like there’s no tomorrow simply because they can and here is his list of 25 reasons. Like me and many other guys he sees women as easy prey.

#1 Women get too close to others, too fast. Women build strong emotional connections really fast. It’s easy for them to get close to a guy and confuse the bond with love.
#2 They love any man who can give them emotional support. It’s true. Want to steal a girlfriend, just give her a shoulder to lean on. She’ll give you her bed to sleep on.
#3 Women favor the gene pool. They instinctively want to favor the gene pool and play their part for Mother Nature by picking other dating and mating potentials.
#4 Women fall in love fast. They fall in love too fast with just about anyone who shows affection. They try playing hard to get, but almost always end up becoming really easy to get for potential girlfriend stealers.
#5 Women are progressive. They like sprucing men up and working on little man projects now and then. And just when you think you’ve been perfected by your girlfriend, she’ll find another man to perfect.
#6 Women love drama and gossip in their lives. It’s the truth. Women get bored extremely easily and need constant attention and drama in their lives. Once the man settles down in love, the woman starts unsettling.
#7 They’re confused about their feelings almost all the time. A girl may love her man generally, but her mood swings ebb and flow like the tides of the sea. She likes her man sometimes, and she bitches about him at other times. Add another man into the equation and it’s a teen sitcom.
#8 Women are suckers for affection and compliments. Women fall for compliments and flirty touches really easily. When another guy flirts with your girl, she may think she’s just having fun. But in reality, she’d be falling for him even if he’s just having fun.
#9 It’s ridiculously easy to make a girl doubt her own boyfriend. All another guy has to do is point a few flaws, talk sweet, touch her in a few places, and she’ll start to think her boyfriend’s a loser and the new guy is a sex god who’s in love with her.
#10 Women say they don’t want to stray. But yet all they think about is straying. Every time a guy flirts with a girl, she temporarily forgets she has a boyfriend already!
#11 Women close their eyes while kissing another guy. Yeah, just shut your damn eyes and say it all happened so fast! Women get physical and then say it was a mistake. Men, on the other hand try covering it up by saying it didn’t happen. Women want pity, men forgive them. Men get caught, become a punching bag.
#12 Women always think they’re in a relationship crisis. When a woman’s life’s not crackling with romantic and sexual electricity, they always think their relationship sucks. Women say they don’t like vibrating, entertaining sex toys and dildos, but yet they want men to behave like one.
#13 Women think they’re too good. Almost all women think they’re too good for their boyfriend. With that kind of logic, it’s easy to stray when a “better guy” comes along to play.
#14 Women cheat for the dumbest reasons. Men cheat because they find someone sexy. Women cheat for the dumbest of reasons, to prove a point, to get back at her man, to let him know she’s not getting enough attention, to get something they really want and more dumb reasons.
#15 Women have cravings. That is, chocolates and unavailable traits in men. If her man’s not very clean and tidy, and she meets a coworker who’s a perfectionist when it comes to being clean and tidy, she’ll involuntarily be drawn to that trait. So if a guy wants to lay a girl, all he has to do is show off a trait her boyfriend doesn’t have and she’ll diveboard into his bed.
#16 Women get attracted to any man who makes her feel good. Men usually have affairs only with women who are sexually attractive. So unless the guy is rich or super charming, his odds are slim to have an affair with the girl of his dreams. But women cheat with any loser who knows to treat her better than her boyfriend.
#17 She’s a gold digger. There’s no point here. If you’re dating a woman who’s more interested in your money and the fun times you give her than she is in you, you can’t hold on to her unless you strike oil.
#18 Women cheat when they’re emotionally vulnerable. Men need booze and a sexy girl to cheat. Women just need to feel vulnerable. They’d feel vulnerable for the smallest of reasons and circumstances. And if another guy makes a move at the right time, he’ll be able to sleep with her that very night.
#19 Committed women love getting the attention of other men. And when they don’t get the attention from a guy they like, they try harder to get a second glance. Why do you think girls go weak for bad boys who treat them like crap?
#20 Women don’t learn from their mistakes. Women make moves and mistakes, and they regret it. But they don’t learn. They know when they’re crossing the thin red line with another guy, but they just don’t try to put a stop to the guy because “they like the attention”.
#21 Women cheat when they’re unhappy in bed. Do you have a small weeny? Or are you suffering from impotency or erectile dysfunction? That’s reason enough to cheat on you, don’t you think?
#22 Her man’s charm is wearing off. If a woman isn’t sexually attracted to her man anymore, she’ll definitely dive head first into any other sexually attractive man’s pants.
#23 Women are stereotyped. Most men look at women as cute, walking talking sex toys. Hey, women can only resist temptation so much. If a woman’s constantly being hit on by a million guys everywhere she goes, it’s only a matter of time before she succumbs to temptation, wouldn’t you say?
#24 Once bitten, never shy. A woman may cheat and get over it after a heartbreaking while. But a few months later, the drama starts all over again. Women just like the constant rush of falling in and out of love all the time.
#25 Do women really ever want to be happy? Really, a woman could be in a perfect long term relationship with a perfect guy. But all she has to do is meet another great guy who knows how to steal a girl and she’ll do his bidding in no time. Perhaps, women think they like being happy when in reality, all they want is to experience bursts of happiness and lots of confusions all the time.

And sometimes, they don’t need a reason at all.

 

[experiencedParticipant]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1211104/Think-men-unfaithful-sex-A-study-shows-WOMEN-biggest-cheats–theyre-just-better-lying-it.html

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

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