Managing the investment paradox.

[MitzrealParticipant 76]

So first off my apologies if I’m scattered in this post.

I’ve been reading a book called Models: Attracting Women Through Honesty. It’s helped me already in my confidence in general, yet I find myself with and issue. There’s a woman I’ve known for years and have always wanted. I’m finding in my analysis of my relationship with her (and all the other women until now) that I basically was always over invested, tried game and other manipulative tactics and that ultimately is what destroyed me. In other words I wasn’t being honest and vulnerable but was being manipulative and coldly distant which caused me to attract the psychos who react to that sort of behavior from men.

Anyway back to my original point, I find myself more invested in this woman than she is in me. I’m successfully managing to back off showing the investment but wrestling down the emotions and thoughts in my head is far more difficult. Worst of all (as with all of us) I’m my own worst critic from kicking myself for not being “red pill” enough cause I like and am chasing this woman, to calling myself pathetic for over investiture. I know that I need to just chill and let those things go, after all being “Truly Confident” is being more invested in your opinion of yourself than in how others perceive you.

So bottom line, do any of you MGTOW out there with more life experience, experience with women etc have any advice for me on how to better manage this internal struggle?

[SnakeSpectator 2080]

If she isn’t helping you, she is hurting you. Love yourself. Do what is best for you, because noone else is looking out for you, brother, least of all a woman.

[MitzrealParticipant 76]

That’s what I’m trying to do best for myself Snake, thank you for the advice. I’m not quite ready to cut ties with this girl just yet. And that’s part of my over hamstering problem. Except the hamstering is about kicking myself if you get that?

[SnakeSpectator 2080]

I can only repeat Master P.

 

Check this out
You a playa if you got bitches and blunts in your house, right?
(right right)
But you a motherf~~~in’ TRU G,
If you get the muffins…and she pays for the trees
Understand what I’m sayin’, n~~~~ you feel me?
Ya’ll Captain Kirk ass n~~~~z ain’t gonna survive in this 97 space age hustle

[MitzrealParticipant 76]

That’s some funny s~~~ right there, and yes to navigate this universe of women today Captain Kirk is not a terrible idol, all the desire not a single f~~~ing ounce of investment.

[RoyDalParticipant]

Accept the fact that you don’t really want what you want and move on to something positive in your life.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Mitzreal wrote:

I wasn’t being honest and vulnerable

I understand the concept and duality of the situation but you may be over thinking it.

MANAGING THE INVESTMENT PARADOX: I find myself more invested in this woman than she is in me.

Your “investment strategy” in women: For everything you give, she should give twice back.

Meaning, you write a sentence in an email, don’t continue until she writes two back. You texted her once to show thought and interest, don’t give her another one until she texts you back. Lets use a very simple example. It may feel like this at first:

YOU: “Hey, hows it going”

SHE: “I’m good thanks”.

That’s where you would stop and don’t invest more until she adds….
and she WILL if you don’t respond. If she doesn’t, forget her.

Her interest in the first response is totally non-existent. She’s replying to be polite. You have already shown interest. You’re done. Now its up to her. If she had said “I’m good thanks. How are you?” you would have her 2 for your 1. You could then wait 30 mins and take the next step. Why wait? Not because it’s “game”, but because she didn’t make it compelling enough for you to show more investment. Don’t invest unless she makes it at least a little compelling.

Had she said: “hey its great to hear from you!” that’s your cue. But I still wouldn’t reply until she added….

SHE: “??? Are you there?”

Now you can say “yes yes! Was trapped under something heavy.”

Then wait for her “LOL!”

This example is a gross over-simplification but you see the point. There is no manipulation in it. This attitude communicates that she actually has to make it compelling for you to “invest” at all. Its unspoken. It’s also unusual for her – especially a model. You don’t come off “needy”. You expect her to DO something before you invest. It translates to dialogue too. Ask her a question about herself, then just let her blab. But if you find yourself speaking three sentences for every one of her “yeah”, “no” or “i guess….” then back off that at once.

Remember, if you’re not her priority, you’re only an option.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

Also remember:

Men love women …. and women love shoes.

So whatever your total investment, your return will be superficial at best.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

ILiveAgain wrote:

Men love women …. and women love shoes.

True. I haven’t met a woman who “gave two back” in years. Or even one! They are SO lazy. Even in an email.
And I would like to thank them for making sure I haven’t over invested in them.

The savings in time attention, effort and investment went elsewhere. I still get emails , interest and phone calls, but I just ask myself “am I compelled to respond to this?” and the answer is no. Her problem.

Recently a divorced single Mom from out of town (who I went to SCHOOL with) looked me up when she was in town and we hung out for an evening, went for a drive, nice dinner and a few laughs. Good time, but that was it. Months later I was in her city, and she invited me out for coffee.

COFFEE. She bought me a COFFEE.

The least she could have done was get a nice bottle of red, invite me over for a spaghetti dinner or some s~~~. “Coffee” lasted 30 minutes and then I had to go. She acted all disappointed like I cut the day short. She didn’t make it compelling.

THEN she writes to me 6 months later telling me she’s going be back in town and I KNOW she wanted me to pick her up, show her around, invite her over, make dinner, be the host, take her for a cruise, and drop her at the airport. Not happening.

So said “GREAT!! let me know when you book, and if I’m in town we’ll have a drink”.

(he he… “A” drink)

There was no reply exactly as I expected. No reply means she was expecting red carpet treatment.
I made it compelling because she wanted more of it.
She did not. And that’s the end of it.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Great-OzParticipant 226]

ILiveAgain wrote:

Also remember: Men love women …. and women love shoes. So whatever your total investment, your return will be superficial at best.

From my experiences it seems that regardless of the amount of investment one places in a relationship with a woman, and by woman I mean any female from mother/sister to co-workers to girlfriend/wives, that they will never return that same about of investment. They always ask the question, “What more can you do for me?”

"Life is the future, not the past." Wizard's 7th rule, Terry Goodkind

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