I grew up being raised by a single mother who abused me and my older brother. Our youngest sibling a girl got preferential treatment while me and my brother were beaten senseless. We dealt with it the best we could without a father figure because, he died when I was 4 and my brother 7. My mom stopped my uncle(father’s brother)from visiting or being able to communicate with us. Made sense with the bruises, and I started school with a deep distrust of everyone. Come junior high and I become interested in women only to find out they exhibit the same characteristics as my mom. A decision was made at the age of 12 I would never marry because, I could never trust a women not to beat my children if I die unexpectedly. After I came to that realization I became a drug user(LSD, X, cocaine, and unfortunely heroin on some ocassions) because the reality I lived in was just horrible. My mother remarried a man 20 years her senior when I was 14. He was controlled by mother and I had no respect for this weak man that always asked for my mom’s permission. We moved when I became a freshman and I reinvented myself and quit the dating bulls~~~ because all it did was use my money. The drug use stopped and I put all my time into reading, education, and exercise. I became a MGTOW at 15 but I didn’t have a name for it I distrusted women and became the popular loner that everyone thought was a genius. But, honestly I just worked harder on my intelligence in math and science. I stopped listening to the fake words and started reading body language. In turn, I assumed a permenant smile that I wore after the child abuse became ineffective on me. The term psychopath was thrown around because I only smiled and never covered my scathing comments in pleasantries. I turned 17 got a gf I never payed for except condoms and found myself wondering why do I like this girl. I was only physically attracted and she asked me out. She tried to get me to use drugs again and dumped her ass there and then. We were still f~~~ buddies until she tried to make me her emotional tampon. I enlisted to the Marine Corps on my 18th birthday because I wouldn’t be manipulated by my mother holding a roof, college, personal belongings, and my future at ransom for her demands of me. I instead put my life and limb on the line to avoid the s~~~hole called home that turned me into an emotionally disconnected drone and gave my brother PTSD. First 2 weeks of boot camp and the female captain redefining rape into drunk sex the world seemed to shift. It was 2010 when I went to boot camp I signed up during a time of war and she had the audacity to tell me that only the man is responsible during intoxicated sex. 2011 I got sent Okinawa, Japan and I went to the magical place called the fleet drinking age was 20 and I was 20. The Marines had almost no women on Camp Hansen and I would f~~~ random Japanese women without a care in the world. Went on the MEU( fancy way of saying I was on a boat) saw Korea, Thailand, and the Philippines in each place I found the women more feminine than the American ones. But, a few common trends the used sex to manipulate men, the used men as purses, and loyalty was rare. Most senior Marines were divorcees and women cheating on there deployed husbands was in the 80 percentile. Many men that were married distrusted their wives but hated the barracks and the repercussions from divorce. I was one of the few single men who came back from the MEU distinctly different attitude toward women. My distrust of women became justified I saw all the risks and few benefits. When you spend most of the time working, exercising, and reading you understand being alone but the loneliness drifts into a wisp of smokey longing. I never really felt that loneliness until AWALT came into my mind. 2013 I lead my Marines and told every man I met to avoid any relationship with women except off base foreign women with guidelines on not getting in deep s~~~. Loneliness disappeared from my life my friends became my new family. 2014 EAS(expiration of active-duty service) I came back to the USA and stopped almost all interactions with women I became celibate(excluding masturbation). And recently I stumbled upon this group and I thought to poke my head in.
MaskedManiacMan 5 years ago.
