Greetings, brothers! I can’t tell you how thrilled I am to find this community. I’ll try to keep my introduction concise: I’m in my mid-30s, and got married in my mid-20s to a girl I’d been with since uni. Even by then, though I didn’t realise at the time, she’d become controlling and verbally abusive; the physical abuse began about a year after the wedding. I won’t go into the details now, but suffice to say I genuinely feared for my life on many occasions.
I’m a musician, and was fortunate to have had quite a bit of success in my rather niche musical world in my teens and early 20s. When I got married, though, I somehow got it into my head that it was a great idea to give all that up and get a well-paid job in finance so I could be a “supportive husband”—what a lucky woman! *rolls eyes* My naive blue-pill belief at the time that, the more generous you are to a woman, the more she will appreciate you, proved of course to be sadly mistaken: as we know, the result is in fact the opposite, and the more my salary climbed to ridiculous heights, the more we got into debt and the more outrageous her behaviour became. The things I had to do to her to “prove that I loved her” became so absurd that it started interfering with said well-paid job in finance (which btw I hated every minute of).
Two years ago, my life on the “plantation” falling apart and willingly isolated from my family and friends (all in an effort to “prove that I loved her”), I secretly got back in touch with my best mate from school and told him everything. That was the turning point: within a month I had left her, and by the following year had divorced her. Best decision of my life. A few weeks after I let her, I got fired from the hated finance job, which in a strange way was wonderful as well as humiliating, and I immediately set about returning to music. Two years later, my life is bliss: no woman, no boss, making a good living from my music. Thankfully, we never had children (don’t think she liked the idea that money and attention would get diverted from her to them lol): I shudder to think what would have happened if we had, and really feel for all those of you who’ve had kids mixed up in these nightmares.
Bizarrely, the greatest decline in my opinion of women took place since I left my ex-wife. Two years ago, I believed she was a hideous exception but that there must still be lots of nice kind women out there who believed in mutual trust and respect. Having dated and interacted with all sorts of women since then, I’ve come to realise that my ex-wife may have been extreme in her violent behaviour, but her worldview is quite normal today: expecting everything from a man while giving nothing in return.
Last year I discovered the PUA community and found they could explain a lot which hadn’t made sense to my blue-pill self. With great respect to the PUA community, though, my problem with them is basically that they still want something from women. I don’t. I’m not interested in relationships or even sex anymore. I want what I wanted as a teenager: to devote myself to music, to make great art. So you can imagine how excited I was to discover the MGTOW community: finally, guys who understand what I’m trying to do! At times, to be honest, I feel incredibly angry that I wasted all those years with that woman, that I gave up on my music career just when it was really taking off. But I know the best thing to do is not to waste any more time with self-pity, and to crack on with picking up where I left off and executing on my dreams. And it’s going well so far.
Thanks a lot for reading and I’m really looking forward to joining you guys on your own journeys!
Lion OTL
There aren't holes in your pockets. It's called marriage.
Tic 2 years, 6 months ago.
