Home › Forums › Introductions › Making up for years wasted on the "plantation"
This topic contains 21 replies, has 19 voices, and was last updated by Tic 2 years, 6 months ago.
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Greetings, brothers! I can’t tell you how thrilled I am to find this community. I’ll try to keep my introduction concise: I’m in my mid-30s, and got married in my mid-20s to a girl I’d been with since uni. Even by then, though I didn’t realise at the time, she’d become controlling and verbally abusive; the physical abuse began about a year after the wedding. I won’t go into the details now, but suffice to say I genuinely feared for my life on many occasions.
I’m a musician, and was fortunate to have had quite a bit of success in my rather niche musical world in my teens and early 20s. When I got married, though, I somehow got it into my head that it was a great idea to give all that up and get a well-paid job in finance so I could be a “supportive husband”—what a lucky woman! *rolls eyes* My naive blue-pill belief at the time that, the more generous you are to a woman, the more she will appreciate you, proved of course to be sadly mistaken: as we know, the result is in fact the opposite, and the more my salary climbed to ridiculous heights, the more we got into debt and the more outrageous her behaviour became. The things I had to do to her to “prove that I loved her” became so absurd that it started interfering with said well-paid job in finance (which btw I hated every minute of).
Two years ago, my life on the “plantation” falling apart and willingly isolated from my family and friends (all in an effort to “prove that I loved her”), I secretly got back in touch with my best mate from school and told him everything. That was the turning point: within a month I had left her, and by the following year had divorced her. Best decision of my life. A few weeks after I let her, I got fired from the hated finance job, which in a strange way was wonderful as well as humiliating, and I immediately set about returning to music. Two years later, my life is bliss: no woman, no boss, making a good living from my music. Thankfully, we never had children (don’t think she liked the idea that money and attention would get diverted from her to them lol): I shudder to think what would have happened if we had, and really feel for all those of you who’ve had kids mixed up in these nightmares.
Bizarrely, the greatest decline in my opinion of women took place since I left my ex-wife. Two years ago, I believed she was a hideous exception but that there must still be lots of nice kind women out there who believed in mutual trust and respect. Having dated and interacted with all sorts of women since then, I’ve come to realise that my ex-wife may have been extreme in her violent behaviour, but her worldview is quite normal today: expecting everything from a man while giving nothing in return.
Last year I discovered the PUA community and found they could explain a lot which hadn’t made sense to my blue-pill self. With great respect to the PUA community, though, my problem with them is basically that they still want something from women. I don’t. I’m not interested in relationships or even sex anymore. I want what I wanted as a teenager: to devote myself to music, to make great art. So you can imagine how excited I was to discover the MGTOW community: finally, guys who understand what I’m trying to do! At times, to be honest, I feel incredibly angry that I wasted all those years with that woman, that I gave up on my music career just when it was really taking off. But I know the best thing to do is not to waste any more time with self-pity, and to crack on with picking up where I left off and executing on my dreams. And it’s going well so far.
Thanks a lot for reading and I’m really looking forward to joining you guys on your own journeys!
Lion OTL
There aren't holes in your pockets. It's called marriage.
Anonymous6Welcome to the club. Beer’s on ice, burgers on the grill. Enjoy Yourself.
Welcome and thanks for sharing your story. The red pill rage will eventually calm down – it just takes time. You sound like a really smart and talented guy so I have no doubt that you will be very successful in your music and art career. Stay strong brother. We’re here if you need anything.
Thankfully, we never had children (don’t think she liked the idea that money and attention would get diverted from her to them lol):
Think yourself very lucky . I hope this woman is sterile and never has children for there sake .
Welcome bro
THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .
Anonymous6Welcome brother, we have no power over what has already happened, forget the past and chill out in the bliss of the c~~~ free present.
Thanks a lot for reading and I’m really looking forward to joining you guys on your own journeys!
Lion OTL.
Welcome LionOnTheLoose, it was refreshing to read your intro, You are no doubt in charge of your own life. Your Lion handle suits you like a glove, enjoy the forums.
You must own a better Crystal ball than IYour history is near as mine, I was with an undercover narcissistic bitch.
University love, married mid 20nis. Divorced by 31, by surprise.Discovered like you this is women nature, got the f~~~ scared of them.
Found MGTOW and realized I wasn’t insane, wasn’t going gay, etc.
Welcome home bro, grab a beer.
To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.
Thanks so much for all your replies, guys! Really appreciate it.
@gambit: That’s very kind. I guess you’re right, the red pill rage will die down. In some ways, I find it motivating, but it’s good to hear that in a few years’ time I might not be cursing women every day.
@blade: I quite agree. Fortunately she’s already in her mid-30s too, so has limited time to have kids. She hated kids so much that she made Lady Macbeth look broody (if a family sat down at the table next to us in a cafe, she’d want to move, it was that bad), but when we were getting divorced she had the nerve to claim that in the last few years she had actually really wanted kids but didn’t say because our relationship was so bad…*facepalm*
@Macho: thanks a lot, I love lions!
@venom @carnage: beers and burgers sound perfect. 🙂
There aren't holes in your pockets. It's called marriage.
Do your mourning. Do your raging. Don’t censor yourself. You’re among men.
MAGA
You sure are the lucky one to get away unburned.
A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!
Anonymous3Great intro! Thank you.Our stories are similar, although I am quite a bit older than you at this time.
Married in my 20’s, divorced in my 30’s really lived in the blue pill fantasy world for quite awhile, went ” nuts ” ( literally ), got back on my feet in my 40’s , went mghow for quite awhile & then found this site ( through a good friend who recognized my lifestyle) in May of this year.
Its great here. Full of wise, intelligent, insightful men who have been able to recognize what is really going on in the world today. I can’t tell how helpful & gratifying it is to read the posts & know I am not alone.
I chose my icon to represent a happy old guy ( who is a little nuts) & doesn’t care what he looks like to others & enjoys his life.
Welcome! Glad you found your way here. Stick with the winners(fit yourself into the equation anyway you want) Its MGTOWI somehow got it into my head that it was a great idea to give all that up and get a well-paid job in finance so I could be a “supportive husband”
That’s a common theme I see. Reminds me of someone I know. After all that he got divorced too.
Welcome aboard, fellow newbie 🙂
Anonymous18Congratulations on reclaiming your autonomy and freedom.
You are an exception. Married young. Divorced relatively young.
There is a life ahead of you that most married men only get to glance in rear view mirror.
But beware – the bill pill conditioning is cancer. Its always there and there is always a pseudo-unicorn waiting for a beta to fall in her trap.
Keep your guard up.
Women have never nor will give meaning to a man’s life. They are distractions at best. But a man with hobbies can find far more pleasurable things than to put up with her presence after the f~~~ing is done.
Going your own way is a path to discovering treasure and occasional pirates as you understand life and women through a new set of eyes.
Be thankful. Very thankful for having a relatively intact life.
Thanks a lot, @Numerator: I am hugely grateful, and I plan never, ever to hand the sovereignty of my life to anyone again. I’ve got to the stage where I don’t even let a woman in my house now.
There aren't holes in your pockets. It's called marriage.
Welcome brother!
Self-improvement is my religion. Sovereignty is my god.
Welcome, brother!
"One of the best things internet exposed is just how insane women are." - Freeman_K
@lionontheloose – It’s a pleasure to have you here. You told your story well; it’s stories like yours that feed the internal war against my desire for a woman. I think I speak on behalf of the lurkers as well as myself when I say, thank you. Welcome to MGTOW.
Welcome mate. I’m a fellow musician so i understand your pain when you’re not doing it. I still like sleeping with the hot young ones, but would never give up my lifestyle or assets to them or for them.
Hope music treats you well.🙂
Welcome to the forum. You’re past exists as a learning experience. Imagine how dumb you’d be if you hadn’t lived through that hell. Now you can get on with your life and dreams. You’re in your 30’s? Then, you have the rest of your long life to live unfettered by a woman’s demands…and they ALL come with demands.
"Don't follow in my footsteps...I stepped in something."
Years on the plantation wasted? Was it wasted? I don’t think so. I think you came into the realization of the nature of aberration and how contagious that stuff really is. More and more people seem to be functioning on the most insane and neurotic basis. Quite frankly, it’s sad.
You gained experience, as long as that experience is a healthy experience and not a painful experience that controls you.
Regardless, you are here now. Consider the many men who may never find this oasis in the desert! They will continuously chase after the mirages at the top of those dry dunes. Congratulations for being a human being that has learned from the experiences of life and has decided to make a sound decision.
Welcome to the forum, I brought rum…..but forgot the coke…
MGtOW_Medic - EMT - P, Firefighter Lvl 2, Hazmat Ops
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