Looking for work. Critique my email to the HR bitches please..

[MarketWatcherParticipant]

So, as many of you know I am stuck in c~~~ co-worker hell. I wanted to run this past you guys before I send it. I need to impress /what I safely assume/ is the Female HR people and I think I’ve got it. Here it is. Thoughts?

Dear ???? ???? Representative,

Attached please find my resume for the Branch Manager Position in the ????, ???? market. I am very excited to have found this opportunity due to my extensive experience in the retail banking industry. I specialize in working with high net worth clients and establishing accounts in compliance with the Bank Secrecy Act, AML, and the CIP rules established in the PATRIOT Act. I work daily with Revocable and Irrevocable Trust accounts, ROTH IRA’s, Traditional IRA’s, and I am very familiar with POD and POA accounts. In addition, I have a proven track record of increasing assets under management while maintaining a low cost of funds. In my previous position I was part of the Leadership Development Program and responsible for the daily operations of the branch office and the management of its employees. I hope you will find my knowledge of the local market and my qualifications consistent with your needs and I look forward to working with you in the future.

Sincerely,

Market~~~cher

Break it down for me guys! Thanks.

[PistolPeteParticipant 27143]

Worked in HR for many years and it looks good to me—but I didn’t work in staffing. I have one suggestion based upon format—I would separate out your contributions based upon knowledge/skill/ability and experience. For example:

Experience in the retail banking industry. Skill working with high net worth clients and establishing accounts in compliance with (knowledge of) the Bank Secrecy Act, AML, and the CIP rules established in the PATRIOT Act. (Experience) I work daily with Revocable and Irrevocable Trust accounts, ROTH IRA’s, Traditional IRA’s, and I am very familiar with POD and POA accounts. In addition, I have a proven track record (Ability) of increasing assets under management while maintaining a low cost of funds. In my previous position I was part of (Experience) the Leadership Development Program and responsible for the daily operations of the branch office and the management of its employees.

You will (not you hope) find my knowledge of the local market and my qualifications consistent with your needs and I look forward to working with you in the future.

[MarketWatcherParticipant]

PistolPete wrote:

You will (not you hope)

This is why I posted!!! You are correct, I WILL. Thank you, and I have made your suggested format correction. Great advice man.

[Jan SobieskiParticipant 28791]

Not sure if this is true or an urban ledgend ..

Resumes are scanned into a system and then keyword searches are preformed.

So what you do is type out a full page of key words, even if you don’t have it in your background.

Shrink it to font size 1 and change the color to white/ clear.

Place it in the blank space.

Then your resume will always get a hit for whatever they are looking for because the computer is never wrong…

This might be a myth but it can’t hurt.

Love is just alimony waiting to happen. Visit mgtow.com.

[MarketWatcherParticipant]

Jan Sobieski wrote:

Resumes are scanned into a system and then keyword searches are preformed

True True True!!! Thanks for the input. I place keywords in the resume attachment for this reason. You got it brother.

[Jan SobieskiParticipant 28791]

MarketWatcher wrote:

Jan Sobieski wrote:

Resumes are scanned into a system and then keyword searches are preformed

True True True!!! Thanks for the input. I place keywords in the resume attachment for this reason. You got it brother.

Ok, but…

you missed it. You hide 100 keywords in the background, invisible to the human eye, but “visabile” to the computer.

Small font, color white. The computer will see it, the human wont.

Does that make sense?

Love is just alimony waiting to happen. Visit mgtow.com.

[MarketWatcherParticipant]

Jan Sobieski wrote:

Does that make sense?

Yes I did miss that very important point! I didn’t even think about doing that. Awesome Idea for the “blank spaces” on the resume. That is f~~~ing genius brother.

[MattNYCParticipant 2329]

MarketWatcher wrote:

I have a proven track record of increasing assets under management while maintaining a low cost of funds

Can you include percentages or amounts? The following is a stronger statement that’ll get more attention:

I have a proven track record of increasing sales. For example, in my current position I have exceed AUM goals by 3% every quarter over the last 6 quarters, in addition to limiting cost increases to 0.9% over the same period.

[MarketWatcherParticipant]

MattNYC wrote:

Can you include percentages or amounts?

Good point and I thought about that. The company I am applying for has 4 million under management. I helped the last employer go from 25 million to 35 million in 5 years. I did not say that because I did not want to scare them off with what they might look at as unrealistic growth. Thank you for great input my good man.

[SandalsParticipant 4253]

As a software guy, I don’t have a clue what anything in your paragraph means.

[MarketWatcherParticipant]

Sandals wrote:

As a software guy, I don’t have a clue what anything in your paragraph means

Cool, I have no idea how to code. Guess we are even. LOL. I have thought about going into IT work but I can’t remember long codes. Your field is growing!

[Anonymous 1]

It may be the forum formatting — but it needs more whitespace. Put some paragraphs in there.

[Author]

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