Hi, I am new to the forum and still getting to grips with some of the concepts on here. I have had 3 long term relationships with Women I had decided to settle with in the past, and each one has pretty much turned out with the same results for me every time.
I have been a red pill guy before for a brief period of 8-9 months( happiest time of my life) it was after a bad break up that came with all the usual crap that goes with it. I wasted a good part of my 20s with some girl who started off obsessed with me and would do anything for me, then she lost interest and eventually left me but not before she drove me insane with her lies and cheating then booted me to curb a defeated man on the brink of utter desperation. I had given up on myself and life and settled for this woman who really wasn’t all that great, but when she lost interest I couldn’t rate her higher and just wanted her to like me again the point of obsession. Most of this is my fault for settling with this woman and shutting myself off from friends and having my own life, so she was all I had at the time. Anyway I was in a dark place asking myself how had this happened? How could this girl go from utterly worshipping me to giving zero s~~~s…I was in a very dark place with nothing good in my life and it took me months to recover. What drove me the most insane during this time was the lies and everybody thought I was mad as she denied everything even though her actions and behaviour rang alarm bells in me. But I certainly wasn’t prepared for the truth when I finally found it.
After time it emerged what a little slut she had turned into, f~~~ing loads of guys behind my back(even married guys,one with a pregnant wife which she knew about). The only reason I know all this is because I stole her phone and ran off with it, I hacked her emails and Facebook account…the bitch had drove me to this – I had to know was I insane or was she completely lying out of her fat face. I am not proud of the hacking or phone steeling but I needed the closure, I needed to know and it hurt like hell for months when I found all the messages and all was revealed what she had been up to. But I needed to see it and see her for what she really was and not the picture she painted to me and everyone else.
After some time I started going back to the gym, socialising again and getting out with friends and trying to get a life back together. I was different though I had a different outlook and wasn’t about to trust a woman anytime soon. A few months later the new single me is out and trying his luck with women again, not looking for a girlfriend this time and looking at women in a whole new way. To cut a long story short I started getting some interest when I was out so my confidence grew again, I started on the dating sites and slept with a few. I had one who was very interested almost obsessed, although I was only interested in the sex. I held off all advances for relationships, I was getting more tail than I ever had done and I was getting my drinks paid for and the women were happy to do stuff for me without question. In this period (the ex girlfriend who had no interest in me before) saw me out having fun with my friends and girls and I got a message that night asking to meet up, so I did she wanted sex, so I obliged it was just sex and I had no feelings for her. I used her like the slut she was and actually got off on it.
I remember thinking how mental I must have been wanting this slut as my girlfriend and letting her get to me like she did and drive me insane like that. Anyways this happened on several occasions until I got bored of having sex with her and cut her off completely and I was finally rid of her, I realised what a blessing in disguise her cheating and leaving me was.
I didn’t realise how good I had it looking back now, but that all changed after approximately 8 months when I met my next and last relationship which ended this year. I somehow lost it all and ended up taking that blue pill again and found myself in a relationship with a prettier more attractive girl this time. And so this is where I am now recently split with this girl who I originally wanted to have kids with, and settle down with. It went the same way as before although this time I was prepared and knew it was going on way before I mentioned or called her out on it. After an initial period of I need to find out what’s going on again and hack her all her stuff to find out the truth, I realised I didn’t need to know and it wouldn’t do me any good to drive myself insane again, so I just got on with it and knew I had to work on myself again which I have been doing for the last few months.
I genuinely do not want kids anymore or to get settled down and married ever, I have now accepted what I have known deep down for for sometime but never really wanted to acknowledge or believe about women.
CustodyOfMe 3 years, 4 months ago.
