Letting go of a girl emotionally unavailable?

[LightBringerParticipant 440]

This might be a bit different from the rest but I figure my MGTOW brothers will be able to chime in here.  There is a woman I have had about 9 months of FWB status with, there are some red flags involved certainly but I realize I have become sexually/chemically addicted to her, and a MAJOR problem is she plays a hot/cold game and seems slightly narcissistic.

I have been a mgtow for a while, and I know I am so stupid to be with the girl but it is like I legitimately ‘like’ her despite the games, but she is only partly into the relationship where I feel like I am falling hard for her.  How do I dump / distance myself from a girl that we like each other, but I know I’m tripping over myself here and it will likely end in disaster?

Thanks.

[Robert HallamParticipant 696]

You are half way there when you recognize the problem you are in. Go ahead and be infatuated but stop yourself short of falling in love my friend. Don’t tell me you can’t do that. You have to stay in the drivers seat emotionally and you can’t do that if you are a pussy in love. She’ll walk all over you.

[Just a ManParticipant 934]

Just like alcoholics anonymous, one day at a time. But your best bet is to go as long as you can with no contact, then the next time go a little longer, then a little more until she notices and “dumps” you. Problem solved. Remember to “feed on the pain” it is a life lesson and helps harden you for the next AWALT. I will admit, this is easier for me to say now that I am middle aged, but the lessons are true. Like Robert said though, you recognized the problem AND you came here for advice. Some of these folks are downright Philosophers and unlike a woman their dicks really are made of gold. HAHAHAHA

Philosophy, the female repellent

[LightBringerParticipant 440]

I feel kind of like a little bitch that if I was ‘harder’ I could just stay stoic and give her a pounding every month when we meet up, but I am getting attached when I know I shouldnt.

[HitmanParticipant]

light bringer.. its ok to hit that pussy..just realize thats all it is..if you fail her in some way she will turn on you like a black widow spider trying to kill you after you mate..lots of women want that booty call..not love ! get a hobby, some s~~~ to distract you, she cant be so perfect to actually LOVE her, can she ? ..she aint . NONE OF THEM ARE ! smarten up kid, once a month aint much anyway , how you know where SHE is the rest of the time ? just use it..use that ass , dont ever love it, thats crazy !..give yourself a talking to . make sense. love aint real ! brain chemicals will fool you ..

[EdogParticipant 254]

It’s a female, so narcissism is almost a certainty. If you buy a ticket and take the ride, guard your emotions as best as you can. You already know she will try to manipulate the situation. You said she runs hot and cold, and this of course is because she only truly responds to her own emotions, and her emotions change more often that the wind blows. That’s all women from my experience so far.

I’m willing to bet that it’s the thrill of the chase that is getting you into her. You dig the laid back aspect of having a pretty cool chic to hang out with on occasion and even bang, but because she runs hot and cold, it has you wondering to yourself just how she really feels since you yourself are having stronger feelings for her. But what would happen if she suddenly gave you what you want? What then? Moving in together? Ughh. Getting married? Ughhhhh! You know where it all goes. Is THAT what you really want?

You say she has red flags? Just how red are these flags you speak of?

I’d take a step back and reassess. At the moment you seem to have something you are okay with. A friend with benefits. Why push it? If she isn’t marriage material (are there any who are?), then you need to step back and see the situation for what it is, and then act accordingly. She runs hot and cold? Start doing it back to her. This will invoke a response of some kind. Either she will notice and say something, at which point the two of you can perhaps have a discussion about your feelings about each other. Or, she will not seem to care all too much and not mention anything, and in this case, you’ll already know she is just taking advantage of a dick to ride while she finds the man she really wants to sink her teeth into.

Guard your emotions, and your sperm.

 

[felixParticipant 406]

Just a Man wrote:

Just like alcoholics anonymous, one day at a time.

The AA analogy is right.  I must admit for me walking away from women was like going ‘cold turkey’.  There are some nice things to be said about being around/with women.  But in the end the cost/benefit analysis just doesn’t make it worth ones while.  The price is just TO DAMN HIGH.

more throttle ..... less brakes.....

[LightBringerParticipant 440]

Edog wrote:

You dig the laid back aspect of having a pretty cool chic to hang out with on occasion and even bang, but because she runs hot and cold, it has you wondering to yourself just how she really feels since you yourself are having stronger feelings for her. But what would happen if she suddenly gave you what you want? What then? Moving in together? Ughh. Getting married? Ughhhhh! You know where it all goes. Is THAT what you really want?

You say she has red flags? Just how red are these flags you speak of?

Yeah I think you are way right about that.

Red flags:

In 40s (way hot still)

has 3 kids

im not susposed to call her because of some custody battle susposedly (only she calls me)

Haha, sounds really bad I know, but on the other hand the sex flows free, she buys dinner, the hotel etc, but again we dont live near each other so its very occsional, and her calls about 2-3 times a week.

[Crazy CanuckMember 4215]

"If pussy was a stock it would be plummeting right now because you've flooded the market with it. You're giving it away too easy." - Dave Chapelle

[HitmanParticipant]

awesome video, thanks canuck ! pussy instead of pizza and problem solved ! genius s~~~ man , perfect timing too 1

[StandUpGuyParticipant 334]

Simple, Simple, Simple my friend. The issue is not that you have a girl in your life; it is that you only have one. If she is FWB and not emotionally into you then you have no obligation to her. Meet up with her and with other girls; you will soon find out that she is not the only game in town.

Being MGTOW dose not mean that you can not have women in your life; it means that women do not run your life. And do not get married!

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

While you have your head in the lions mouth …. just make sure you have a loaded pistol and that the cage door is open.

Your audience …. us mgtow …. stand and watch agast …. praying that you get out in time.

It’s very exciting and quite amazing watching a guy do this. But while you’re doing it …. take a look at the audience you’re performing in front of.

One guy has half his head missing. Another … no arms ….. over there has only one leg.

Do you see the terror on their faces?

They are not looking at you in awe ….. its horror.

 

[Anonymous 12]

Distance yourself emotionally a little at a time. Write a list of all the Red Flags/Faults about her and how they make you feel. Add to the list whenever you see something new.

Read that list at list once a day. I was involved with a woman like this once and although my brain saw the problems my heart kept making me stay with her. It took a lot of hits before I woke up to what was going on.

[LightBringerParticipant 440]

Anonymous wrote:

Distance yourself emotionally a little at a time. Write a list of all the Red Flags/Faults about her and how they make you feel. Add to the list whenever you see something new. Read that list at list once a day. I was involved with a woman like this once and although my brain saw the problems my heart kept making me stay with her. It took a lot of hits before I woke up to what was going on.

 

How did you get out?

Its a a really weird posistion.  I ‘like’ her and she likes me, but we have no future – I want a family she already has one.  Further, its messing with my heart and head getting messages/calls from her about how much she misses me etc. 🙁

I know I need to be ‘selfish’ and do whats best for me, but its so hard with someone that likes me and we have had a hot history together.

[LightBringerParticipant 440]

I know I need to end it, but its going to be hard.

[Anonymous 5]

Time to break it off man. Just phone her and say you are done being FWB with her and she is not to call you anymore. Or just block her number/delete her facebook etc. Just cut all contact.

You don’t owe her anything. You don’t need to see her in person. You don’t need to say your sorry. You just say you are moving on and it was fun. And trust me, she would do the exact same thing to you if she was bored or found a new man to f~~~. She will cut you off in a split second. You should do the same to her.

Don’t get into some emotional s~~~ apology. Don’t even admit your falling for her because that opens the conversation for her to LIE to you that she has feelings for you too. Then your f~~~ed. She will turn you into a beta bitch. Don’t fall for it.

End it. Move on. Find a new FWB. Personally I only keep a FWB for a few months, then I end it and move on. The longer you stay with one, the harder it can be and drama s~~~ starts happening.

[BDParticipant 1146]

LightBringer wrote:

MAJOR problem is she plays a hot/cold game and seems slightly narcissistic.

This is normal for women. Don’t for one minute think you are the only one banging her, you may have several Eskimo brothers.

LightBringer wrote:

I legitimately ‘like’ her despite the games

Games! Red Flags! Be careful with these, keep her at that safe distance.

Think about this for a minute…. you’re pounding some ass and paying very little, if nothing for it, why would you put yourself into a position to PAY for the pussy, to be her councillor, to let her be your dream killer? MEN ARE ONLY WALLETS TO WOMEN. You are getting the best of both worlds, don’t ruin it for yourself, chill the f~~~ out. Keep hitting it and don’t get stupid, even if she wants a relationship stall her, continue to f~~~ it as long as there is very little to no drama. 

LightBringer wrote:

she already has one.

If this means that she is a single mother, disregard everything, DTB, dump that bitch.

 

Because in order to be able to think, you have to risk being offensive.

[hankmoodyforuParticipant 16]

Never heard of that before you cant contact her cause of custody battle. But you are her rebound guy for now cause she is going through something but rest assure when she get through what she is going through your fwb situation will be history. She will kick you too the curb and have you sit there wondering what did you do wrong. I know its hard lord knows I do but it can be overcome just takes time.

your tears of regret cannot turn back the hands of time!

[Knights Templar RisingParticipant 5106]

40-something with 3 kids?  And plays games on top of it?  As we say in business “Those two items, make this deal a ‘non starter’ situation”.

I can never stress enough: NO SINGLE MOMS… they all have baggage you will have to deal with, either emotional or financial (debt or kids).

When I was in my late-30’s I would get hit on by single moms all the time shopping at Target, with their kids in tow.  I knew them from town, and all were 1-3 years past a divorce.  The problem isn’t that they were flirting with me, the problem was: THEY ALL KNEW I WAS MARRIED WITH KIDS.

Single Moms = Radioactive

Sovereignty above all else.

[Author]

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