Let's discuss what "sex-positive" means

[EGParticipant 1876]

“Sex-positive” is a term I first heard as a criticism aimed at me by a then-close friend and colleague. I’m sharing it here because I foresee the term being used as a weapon against MGTOW, so beware. Time to discuss it here.

Being newly-single and exploring the bar scene for the first time in a while (gay bars in my case but the lessons I learned carry over), I was being told to lighten up and “step out of my comfort zone”, ie.: be willing to sleep with people outside of my own preferred “type” such as trans people (women who call themselves “gay men”), drag queens, effeminate men, etc. Of course my immediate response was “no” because after all my years of being out, my taste in partners is the result of much experimenting with the types of people being suggested and ruling those people out.

The response: how non-sex-positive of me!!! Needless to say that close friend and colleague is no longer either of those two things.

In their quest to get into your pants and sow your precious seed, gentlemen, you can expect people to hurl this argument at you because of your defiantly keeping it to yourself. I just want you to be prepared. But I also think it’s worth discussing proper response tactics for when this happens. It’s a sick twisted world out there and non-males are constantly working on ways to shame us into sleeping with them, whether we’re gay or straight, and I’m here to say that being a gay guy is no longer an automatic game-ender for these non-males. Notice I’m calling them “non-males”. My reason is because I want to be inclusive of all the rapey people out there whose goal is to shame men and coerce us into bed. Men who seek to express their own sexual sovereignty are the targets of this predatory behavior and we all need to be prepared for a shame-fest therein at any time, so it’s best to have discussed it before-hand.

[JustAnotherGuyParticipant]

I enjoy sex. I have positive feelings towards it. I’m less puritanical and meddlesome than these ” Sex- pos” activists.

I’m libertarian about sex. I don’t care what or who you do.

It’s just another branch of shaming language aimed at men, whose sex drive is an order of magnitude more compelling than women’s. Nobody is more sex positive than a man – Sex has very literally driven the foundation of the modern world.

The f~~~ out of here with that weak sauce. Only a monster would attempt to enslave another person by a biological imperative.

The only correct response to this s~~~ test is to ignore it.

Cupcakes are Cold. MGTOW is Absolute Zero.
“Let us wait a little; when your enemy is executing a false movement, never interrupt him” –Napoleon Bonaparte, 1805

[StealthParticipant 5354]

The Christian subculture in which I grew up was largely “sex-negative,” to a point that it ruined people’s minds.
Probably for that reason I tend to think of sex positivity as a good thing. Also sex has been so policed by governments, the hive, religion, and family politics that getting rid of that and restoring sex to its primal nature as human expression just makes sense to me.

Funny how in the hands of certain folks anything can be used as a shaming tool, even a phrase like sex positivity which is designed to remove shame. But I’ve never heard it to mean you in particular have to have sex with people you don’t want to. That would seem to be a distortion of the message.

"Once you’ve taken care of the basics, there’s very little in this world for which your life is worth deferring." -David Hansson. "It’s not when women are mean or nasty that anything is out of the ordinary. It’s when they are NICE to you that you have to be on high alert..." -Jackinov.

[Dark KenshiParticipant 2132]

The end game has always been to dominate mens lives by dominating its urges and forcing them to abide by their rules, by sheer force of control.

Even gay men. If you are men, your sperm is worth its price in gold, because without us, there is no way anyone can reproduce. Even cloning is impossible using only a woman’s egg. And those mofos are so thirsty, that they will do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to get off on your expense, no matter your preferences.

Don’t abide by it. The most powerful world in ANY language is “NO”. Use it wisely.

"Young was I once, I walked alone, and bewildered seemed in the way; then I found me another and rich I thought me, for man is the joy of man." Odin, Hàvamàl, stanza 47.

[EGParticipant 1876]

Funny how in the hands of certain folks anything can be used as a shaming tool, even a phrase like sex positivity which is designed to remove shame. But I’ve never heard it to mean you in particular have to have sex with people you don’t want to. That would seem to be a distortion of the message.

Most definitely.

[AwakenedParticipant 35203]

I’s kind of bizarre that a “close friend” would think or care about whom YOU CHOOSE to be attracted to???

Did this “close friend” get offended when you told them that you are old enough and have experimented enough to know what and whom YOU PREFER?

as far as the label ‘sex-positive”—the Matrix is full of all kinds of labels, MGTOW is just another label……Other people are always FAST to LABEL everyone and often times themselves as well….Do What Ya Want…Walk Away from Labels

In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

[EGParticipant 1876]

I’s kind of bizarre that a “close friend” would think or care about whom YOU CHOOSE to be attracted to???

Exactly. That’s why he’s an ex-friend now.

Did this “close friend” get offended when you told them that you are old enough and have experimented enough to know what and whom YOU PREFER?

In fact, yes. But he worded his displeasure in the form of additional “gotcha” questions. His motivation, of course, was to support his narrative of control over my sex life because my non-sex-positive attitude offended him. (Note that we’re both gay and these conversations (more than one) took place in a gay bar where I should not have to answer to anyone for being attracted to men.)

as far as the label ‘sex-positive”—the Matrix is full of all kinds of labels, MGTOW is just another label……Other people are always FAST to LABEL everyone and often times themselves as well….Do What Ya Want…Walk Away from Labels

Indeed. Labels abound and there are new ones every day. This particular one is important to pick apart, here, because it’s being used to shame men who DON’T want to sleep around. I see it as a threat to all such men no matter their persuasion.

So I’ll add, here, that I finally got this guy off my back when I said, “I hear you just got a big promotion at your job and you’re a manger now,” to which he answered affirmative. Then I replied, “Well I would NEVER work for you! Look how you’re reacting to something that’s none of your f.ucking business,” at which point he got up and stomped away. That’s the last time I saw him, and that was about two years ago. I also haven’t been back to that bar because obviously it’s no longer there for people like me.

[narwhalParticipant]

The way I see it, sex is an action, and actions have consequences. If sex-positive means that you should have sex without concern for consequences, or that consequence is what the government and other people should worry about, then no.

In the context of what your friend was suggesting, it absolutely was stated in a way to ignore consequences. Ignore what you wanted, what you would feel about yourself for the act, as well as how the other person would feel being on the receiving end of a ‘pity f~~~’.

As far as the religious perspective on sex, I think boundaries are good thing, but they aren’t supposed to be a tool to put others who don’t follow the same down, nor should it be loaded with guilt when you break your boundaries. The consequences are usually enough, and whatever guilt you do have should only be there to better help keep your boundaries in the future.

Ok. Then do it.

[StealthParticipant 5354]

EG wrote:

Then I replied, “Well I would NEVER work for you! Look how you’re reacting to something that’s none of your f.ucking business,”

Nice.

"Once you’ve taken care of the basics, there’s very little in this world for which your life is worth deferring." -David Hansson. "It’s not when women are mean or nasty that anything is out of the ordinary. It’s when they are NICE to you that you have to be on high alert..." -Jackinov.

[Ranger OneParticipant 16836]

EG wrote:

“Sex-positive” is a term I first heard as a criticism aimed at me by a then-close friend and colleague. I’m sharing it here because I foresee the term being used as a weapon against MGTOW, so beware. Time to discuss it here.
Being newly-single and exploring the bar scene for the first time in a while (gay bars in my case but the lessons I learned carry over), I was being told to lighten up and “step out of my comfort zone”, ie.: be willing to sleep with people outside of my own preferred “type” such as trans people (women who call themselves “gay men”), drag queens, effeminate men, etc. Of course my immediate response was “no” because after all my years of being out, my taste in partners is the result of much experimenting with the types of people being suggested and ruling those people out.

The way I see it, there are many facets to sexual preference. Gender preference is but one. Another person has no more right to insist you sleep with men that are outside your type than they do to insist that you sleep with women.

All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.

[MonkParticipant 17020]

Going along with their empty, ever-shifting terminology means that they are in control.

Just walk away.

[Secret Agent MGTOWParticipant 22542]

Everyone else aparently has a right to say NO to me, but then they try to blame shift shame me if I say no because I dont want to f~~~ other dudes and trannies or women that are not attractive to me.

Sex pos is just another way to attempt to virtu signal and shame people who are not depraved perverts.

Women want everything, but want responsibility and accountability for nothing.

[DocParticipant]

I’m fairly sex positive – I banged a few fat chicks in my earlier days when my preferred type – the skinny ones weren’t so easy to come by.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape, finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. Marcus Aurelius

[bladeParticipant]

Doc wrote:

I’m fairly sex positive – I banged a few fat chicks in my earlier days when my preferred type – the skinny ones weren’t so easy to come by.

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[DocParticipant]

blade wrote:

Doc wrote:

I’m fairly sex positive – I banged a few fat chicks in my earlier days when my preferred type – the skinny ones weren’t so easy to come by.

[/

This is the upper end of the scale. Rodeo style.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape, finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. Marcus Aurelius

[WraithParticipant 242]

And that, my friends, is what sexual harassment looks like.

[Author]

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