Lesson learned on investigating

[MGTOW@50Participant 225]

So I thought I would relay this story and the hard lesson I learned. Any other’s learn this the hard way???

About 10 years ago when my 1st marriage was imploding, I was eating blue pills by the handful, and I just couldn’t figure out what was wrong with the relationship. We were separated, but I was allowing her to string me along and service her every need regarding the care of our 2 sons.

She was checked out and I should have simply acknowledged that and moved on.

Time for the last toll before the divorce—counselling.

She was completely disengaged, non-committal, dismissive.

I was also investigating the phone usage, analyzing text and voice calls, sorting by frequency of contact, all sorts of ways to figure it out. There was 1 number in particular that kept coming up in texts. There was always 1 outgoing & 1 incoming from the number and then nothing further. This was occurring many times per day for months.

Then I decided to put a recording device in the c~~~’s car just prior to a meeting with the marriage counselor. I wanted to record her conversation during the drive to and from and see what I could learn.

This is where I learned my lesson.

Be careful how far you take your investigating. You might not REALLY want to know.

During her drive to counseling she was talking s~~~ about me to one of her hive members. Insulting, belittling, incredibly painful things to hear. This was a woman I had invested my life with, and produced 2 sons with, someone I honored, loved, and respected.

After the counseling I had her getting in the car and then I could hear the sound of sending a text. A moment later another text was received. Then I hear her power-up another phone and wait for a call.

Remember the frequent 2-text exchange I mentioned earlier? This was the routine with the guy she was having an affair with. Text, then after response turn on the burner phone.

He was a friend of mine. I knew his wife and kids very well. We socialized with them often.

I don’t really want to write about what was said. But the pain was NOT worth the trouble I went to to record her.

Be careful what you investigate. Be prepared for worse than you thought. Probably best to simply let it go and re-gain your sovereignty.

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

Is good to know.

The bigger the scar, the stronger the scales.

If the wound doesn’t kill you, your Kung fu grows invincible.

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[NerdTunnelerParticipant]

The hive and chad…a great combination for waking men from the plantation….

I stand with feet apart and let my balls hang free...Manginas dont have balls...See how they stand and sit at the whim of their masters...

[HermitParticipant 1121]

My approach to life has been reduced to this simple formula: if you only expect the worst from people, you can only be pleasantly surprised.

I don't hate women. I just feel better when they're not around.

[IRuleMeParticipant]

MGTOW@50 wrote:

So I thought I would relay this story and the hard lesson I learned. Any other’s learn this the hard way???

About 10 years ago when my 1st marriage was imploding, I was eating blue pills by the handful, and I just couldn’t figure out what was wrong with the relationship. We were separated, but I was allowing her to string me along and service her every need regarding the care of our 2 sons.

She was checked out and I should have simply acknowledged that and moved on.

Time for the last toll before the divorce—counselling.

She was completely disengaged, non-committal, dismissive.

I was also investigating the phone usage, analyzing text and voice calls, sorting by frequency of contact, all sorts of ways to figure it out. There was 1 number in particular that kept coming up in texts. There was always 1 outgoing & 1 incoming from the number and then nothing further. This was occurring many times per day for months.

Then I decided to put a recording device in the c~~~’s car just prior to a meeting with the marriage counselor. I wanted to record her conversation during the drive to and from and see what I could learn.

This is where I learned my lesson.

Be careful how far you take your investigating. You might not REALLY want to know.

During her drive to counseling she was talking s~~~ about me to one of her hive members. Insulting, belittling, incredibly painful things to hear. This was a woman I had invested my life with, and produced 2 sons with, someone I honored, loved, and respected.

After the counseling I had her getting in the car and then I could hear the sound of sending a text. A moment later another text was received. Then I hear her power-up another phone and wait for a call.

Remember the frequent 2-text exchange I mentioned earlier? This was the routine with the guy she was having an affair with. Text, then after response turn on the burner phone.

He was a friend of mine. I knew his wife and kids very well. We socialized with them often.

I don’t really want to write about what was said. But the pain was NOT worth the trouble I went to to record her.

Be careful what you investigate. Be prepared for worse than you thought. Probably best to simply let it go and re-gain your sovereignty.

The unfortunate reality of dealing with wimmin is learning how both vindictive and dishonest they can be. The lows they will stoop to that they justify in their minds would bring to question even the most underhanded man as an upgrade.

[HitmanParticipant]

it’s understandable that you wanted to know,
thanks for sharing the lesson.
.
i quickly got to the point of NOT wanting to know.
i’m still there.
i began to not care at all what she could be doing.
still don’t.
.i have a couple friends who tell me what’s going on w her,
usually it’s bulls~~~.
but i treat them like possible double agents.
if they rat on her they will probably rat on me,
i give them very little…

[PistolPeteParticipant 27143]

Actually I’m in the same boat as Hermit. I always expect the worst and then I’m never disappointed.

[AposematicParticipant 2671]

My ex had a burner phone, and was clubbing rather than having family time, “To help a FRIEND through a mid life crisis”. Well it turns out she dumped her FRIEND who later hinted to me that my Ex cheated in myriad ways that I don’t want to know about. I got the vibes from acquaintances of hers that she was THOT.

Afinogyny.. from the Greek Afino {to abandon/ to set down/ to leave /to allow/ to let } + Gyny {Women} MGHOW’s philosophy to not engage women without “hating them”. Narcorca =Narcissistic Orca typically spouting to a bathroom mirror taking an arms length selfie ; Wallinate describes post wall females whose SMV is terminally negligible New Years resolution "To not make women happy" . Instadestitue: yet another Neologism for Men that cohabit with women that decide to pull the handle of intervention orders.

[Anonymous 7]

Hitman wrote:

…i have a couple friends who tell me what’s going on w her,
usually it’s bulls~~~.
but i treat them like possible double agents.
if they rat on her they will probably rat on me,
i give them very little…

This is excellent advice, and so very true.

Been there and seen that, personally.

This story, well, it is breathtaking to find out how shallow, disloyal, and outright disrespectful the average female turns out to be.

Lesson learned, indeed.

[Anonymous 7]

MGTOW@50 I suspect (could be wrong) that was painful and difficult to share.

I am glad you did it anyway.
This may or may not come as a consolation prize but every story like that one and the response that follow may save another mans life.

I have read too many stories here from bros that have been metaphorically knocking on heavens door.

For whatever reason the response was “Dave’s Not Here”.
Sometimes that reason for “Dave’s Not Here” is this place.

I have not even come close to being in your shoes but thank you anyway.

[John Woods 13Participant 2855]

MGTOW@50 wrote:

Be careful what you investigate. Be prepared for worse than you thought. Probably best to simply let it go and re-gain your sovereignty.

Ever since I was a kid I had this “Gut feeling” about people. If you can call it that. I could never explain it and I always tried to get rid of it, because I’m a logical, scientific minded kind of guy and don’t particularly enjoy unexplainable feelings.
That being said, every time I met a new person I would immediately know if something didn’t “feel” right. This also happened with people I already knew. Sometimes, something just didn’t add up.
Turns out, almost every time my “gut feeling” was right and those people turned out to be NOT what they pretended to be. Or, in the case of people I already knew, it turned out something was indeed wrong. Sometimes the truth only came out years later.
At some point, I started becoming more and more affected by this and I started investigating every time I had that feeling about someone.
I found out some pretty nasty s~~~ about all sorts of people by doing that. People that nobody would have believed would do or say such things.
That’s how I found out my wife cheated on me. And she was as surprised as I was that I found out, since she covered it extremely well. Nobody else knew, but the 2 of them. I found out other s~~~ty secrets about my family the same way.
At some point, I stopped. It was just too much and I didn’t want to know anymore.
Until one day, when I felt it like a big ass kick in the stomach. It was about my wife again, at the height of my blue pill indoctrination. And I decided to not investigate. I had two very young kids and I thought I was getting very close to finally achieving all she had on her list to finally be “happy”.
I did not want to know what I would find out, as that would have meant loosing all of it. So I let it go.
Soon after though, I actually did cross off everything on HER “Happy” list, but what I got was not what I expected. The rest of the story is in my Intro.
That’s when I started looking for answers and I found MGTOW.
Now, as I am gathering my ammo for the inevitable divorce rape that awaits me, THAT investigation would have been pretty handy.
But I am too disgusted, I still don’t want to know.
F~~~’em!

The answer is NO. “I could but I won’t”. Memini murum!

[Anonymous 4]

When there’s a doubt there is no doubt. The bank of trust is a harsh creditor,they just close the account. One more credit rating destroyed.

[AttonParticipant]

It least in the end it removes any doubt.

A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!

[Jack HarperParticipant 2863]

MGTOW@50 – I’ve been there. I’ve had two major relationships in my life. College girlfriend and ex-wife. In both cases my spidey-sense went off. Something felt wrong. They denied it. I couldn’t stop until I knew the truth for sure. One of my attorneys told me that it’s common for men to need absolute proof for their own peace of mind. I guess we got it but it was indeed painful.

In retrospect my advice to younger guys would be if you suspect something is wrong then accept that it is and just get out. Actually, no my advice would be to go MGTOW and just forget about relationships with women. Too much pain and it’s easy to see how many men fall to suicide because of women because I was pretty close myself.

My grandpa once said once the trust in a relationship is broken it’s gone. There is no getting it back. You have to move on.

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

Wait foe the worst from everyone.

They say “I’m a distrustful person” but I tell them “then why you don’t show me the other way around “. Then they shut up, couse 1 thing I know if they use “not everyone is like that” it’s because they are like that.

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[MGTOW@50Participant 225]

Hitman wrote:

it’s understandable that you wanted to know,
thanks for sharing the lesson.
.
i quickly got to the point of NOT wanting to know.
i’m still there.
i began to not care at all what she could be doing.
still don’t.
.i have a couple friends who tell me what’s going on w her,
usually it’s bulls~~~.
but i treat them like possible double agents.
if they rat on her they will probably rat on me,
i give them very little…

For those beginning their journey this is GOLD!!!

Hitman hit this one out of the park.

[MGTOW@50Participant 225]

Anonymous wrote:

MGTOW@50 I suspect (could be wrong) that was painful and difficult to share.

I am glad you did it anyway.
This may or may not come as a consolation prize but every story like that one and the response that follow may save another mans life.

I have read too many stories here from bros that have been metaphorically knocking on heavens door.

For whatever reason the response was “Dave’s Not Here”.
Sometimes that reason for “Dave’s Not Here” is this place.

I have not even come close to being in your shoes but thank you anyway.

Thanks. That’s why I shared it. Men here, who have swallowed the pill, are damn close to bullet-proof. When one is in the midst of this, with their heart invested in a woman, it’s devastating and life threatening. I was so damn close to swallowing a 9mm round. Pressure-on-the-trigger close.

For those in the middle of this s~~~, please know we have been there. We know your pain. You are not alone. These men will be straight with you. These men will save your life….Give them some time to help you heal.

There is joy ahead brother.

[Anonymous 4]

The honesty here is just overwhelming, I almost took my brains out with my 1200 Winchester shotgun when the ex left with my daughter. The voices in my head would not stop my heart had literally stopped beating. I have never come so close to the end again. I was broken there was no more to give. Whatever was left was never going to be the same again. No amount of money or effort was going to fix the heart and soul. But now I am immune naiveity died that day and the veil lifted to reveal that nothing is more painful to the dreamer than seeing the world as it really is. “Life is pain princess anyone telling you any different is trying to sell you something”

[ForeverDoneParticipant 2928]

Yea, VARs are amazing to use in order to get into what the other person is thinking. Many people were telling me my ex-wife was cheating. Heck, there was even a rumor around her work that got back to me. She wasn’t. I had access to her phone log and FB, but went further and VAR’d the couch, her car and her handbag. The amazing amount of s~~~ I heard was nearly as bad. Talk about a “partner”.

I now recommend to all who talk to me in private and else where if you are getting a weird feeling in your gut and somethings just do not add up, VAR your wonderful princess. Just be careful as once you do, you cannot go back. The truth hurts… That’s for s~~~ sure.

OP, sorry you had to go through this. I hope karma has a special place for her and that dips~~~ piece of meat on the side. If this was 30’s years ago, I’d suggest taking him out back and teach him a lesson. That, unfortunately, is no longer an option in our pussified world.

[Jack HarperParticipant 2863]

Anonymous wrote:

The honesty here is just overwhelming, I almost took my brains out with my 1200 Winchester shotgun when the ex left with my daughter. The voices in my head would not stop my heart had literally stopped beating. I have never come so close to the end again. I was broken there was no more to give. Whatever was left was never going to be the same again. No amount of money or effort was going to fix the heart and soul. But now I am immune naiveity died that day and the veil lifted to reveal that nothing is more painful to the dreamer than seeing the world as it really is. “Life is pain princess anyone telling you any different is trying to sell you something”

Powerful post, man.

[Author]

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