I have an older sister who use to make me eat worms as a baby. We lived in the woods so she was my only “friend”. Except she wasn’t very friendly, she would usually leave and go to friends/ relatives houses so I spent the first 5 years of my life either being mentally abused by her or hiking in the woods by myself. She used to write me letters saying I was adopted and that my mom and dad weren’t my real family. She used to say she wasn’t my sister either. I would believe it except I look exactly like my dad, even though we’re nothing alike. My parents divorced when I was seven, so my siblings and I had to go live with my grandparents as they both figured out their lives and enjoyed the freedom they never had while raising three children. My grandparents are an old Italian couple who got together when women weren’t as brainwashed as they are now. However, because of their old age they had gotten sucked into the “undertow” and a inner city ghetto had built up around them, so when I moved in with them I was forced to live in a dangerous area. I spent the next 5 years sleeping on the couch in their living room. My grandmother was constantly “sick.” Breakfast was non existent in my life because my grandparents didn’t know they could apply for free breakfast for me and only filled out the form for free/ reduced lunch. During the school year I got fed lunch, in the summer I had to fend for myself. Imagine a 7 year old cooking for himself and siblings while his parents were out partying or at work and his grandmother was sick! She was constantly in bed because of migraines so I subsisted on spaghettio’s for a large chunk of my child hood. My Dad had finally gotten back custody of us after a long terrible divorce. He wasn’t permitted to be around us alone because my mother had alleged he threw my infant brother across a deck and the courts hit him with a protection from abuse. (P.F.A) It was totally untrue but my mom had manipulated my sister into breaking down and saying that it had happened. We were under 10 so we weren’t legally allowed to testify in court and my mom disappeared for about 2-3 years so the court proceedings could go on without her being present. After moving in with my Dad he was the first true red piller I’ve known. He was a young good-looking guy, with a bunch of money, raising three beautiful blue and green eyed angels. He pretty much spent the time from when I was 7 to 16 just slaying tail.
I went away to boarding school when I was 15 and while I was away my dad got remarried and moved in with her and her step daughters. They moved to a very nice, very safe neighborhood and my brother and sister seemed happy so I was glad for all of them. My mom bounced in and out of the picture over the years with a new boyfriend every few months. I was eventually asked to leave the boarding school because of bad grades and drinking at a party with some other kids from school. I moved back in with my dad at 17 and started my senior year at a new school. That’s when I met my first true girlfriend. I had been with other girl’s before her but she was the first one that was serious. I would go to school, go to practice, and go to work. When I would get home at 9 at night I would go to her house for something to eat. Now this is me at 17, going from 7 am until 9 pm 5 days a week and then I worked all day on Saturdays and had sports games yet. This girl couldn’t even cook me dinner for when I got to her house. Some Friday nights when she didn’t feel like waiting she would go out with her friends and see no problems in hanging out with other guys. Now at this time we hadn’t been together too long and I didn’t want to be a control freak so I would let her know I wasn’t happy about it but I loved to girl so much I never let it get me to the point of coming between us. We ended up going to college together and it was a nightmare. I focused on school, work, and her. She focused on school, herself, and her friends. We were together for over 6 years. There is too much to tell to even begin to type here. She was a miserable, selfish, spoiled, entitled brat. She was a hypocrite, and above all a mean spirit. It turned out in the end she had been cheating on me. My world came tumbling down. I lost my job, apartment, and my ex within 2 weeks. I’ll never forget the date January, 18. My step sisters had morphed in monsters. To this day I can’t even have a conversation with them. Their mother hates my guts and has threatened to divorce my dad multiple times and accused me being the reason for their divorce. My youngest half sister will be the worst of them all. I can’t believe she is related to me. My older sister is tolerable by lady standards. I’m not just saying that because she’s my sister either, by women standards she’s as good as you’re going to get. I think it’s because we went through so much as kids it has humbled her. My youngest sister is 6 and is already totally brainwashed by my two step sisters. Who by the way both just got dumped by their boyfriends because they can’t stand them. I went and got a beer with one of their exes, and they accused me of being the reason for the breakup!
So, I’ve had a mentally abusive older sister, who doesn’t speak to me, and only recently let me see my niece, I was abandoned by my own mother, lived in a home with a hypochondriac grandmother, loathed by a stepmother, berated and belittled by two step sisters every opportunity they can, dumped by a girl who I thought I was going to marry, and totally ignored by nearly every female I have gone out with since.
I’m so grateful these things have happened. When my sister mentally abused me I would go on hikes in the woods, and I found a love of nature, and at a young age I started honing wilderness survival skills. I would climb trees, read books, and was in incredible shape growing up. When my mom abandoned me I was forced to mature at a young age in a hostile environment that took me from being a would be beta male to a full alpha. When my ex left me I found my freedom, my own inner light, my own strength and courage in myself. I learned to love myself and to not let others abuse me because I don’t deserve it, even if they are women who society tells me I’m supposed to let abuse me. When my step sisters and step mother would put me down or berate me, I would go on trips. I have traveled to over 42 states in this country. I have spent the last 4 years climbing mountains in Utah, swimming in water falls in Colorado, I’ve walked hundreds of miles on the Appalachian Trail and Continental Divide. I’ve been U.F.O hunting in the Mojave Desert of Nevada, and I’ve looked for Big Foot in the red wood forests of California. I’ve seen meteor showers in parts of this country that other men have never set foot. I’ve read more books than most doctorates. Met more people than many politicians. I’ve befriend people from all walks of life from across the country.
Nearly every woman in my life who was supposed to have loved me, and supported me, and protected me, has hated me, undercut me, and abandoned me. I’m not alone, my brother, and my father have been through the same thing. I don’t know who’s fault it is, I just know that it has made me a better person. I’ve looked at the man in the mirror for many hours and have addressed the issues that those people have taken with me. I’ve fixed the problems I should, I don’t care if they’ve addressed their shortcomings, I’m just glad they told me mine, because now they are few and far between thanks to them.
So if your story is half as bad as mine, try to hang in their. You’re wonderful, you don’t deserve it, and it’s not you’re fault. Just learn from it, better yourself and don’t repeat the same mistakes.
I was once a great king, I believe you were too. I hope you believe in me, I hope you believe in you.
The Wanderer 2 years, 5 months ago.
