Legal question: to launch first strike, or not?

[Knights Templar RisingParticipant 5110]

To launch the first strike, or not?

Background: Divorce Decree via mediator, filed three years back, was when my hourly rate was 3x what I am making now. I was laid off, applied for about 150 jobs over 18 months without a single offer (in some high tech positions “over 50” age discrimination is very real). Part of the decree was that I would pay 1/3 of my two kids’ tuition costs, which is not a state law, that I voluntarily signed at back when I had a good salary. On top of this I am locked into paying child support until they are 22yo, because in MA (USA) you are legally bound to do so if they are in college (horribly unfair law). Previously, I could have afforded both those expenses, but at my current wage I can not do both. I am willing to pay something towards the tuition cost, but certainly not the $200/wk they are demanding (I’m already paying $200 in support). Their demands are unrealistic, when I am living on on low wages. I have tried to reason with her, find a win-win solution, but like most women she is financially vindictive.

Question: I simply can not pay what they are asking, so a legal showdown is inevitable. In order to modify the divorce decree, I have to file for a hearing. The problem is, that it takes four months to get this hearing. In the meantime, if I do not pay the $400/wk, she will file contempt charges which get heard within 30 days. So my dilemma is whether to launch first strike by filing, or simply wait for her to file contempt?

Sovereignty above all else.

[WarfishParticipant 408]

You must file first, always best to be on offense in these matters

[AwakenedParticipant 35203]

ASK and PAY an Attorney,

My 2cents….She will probably file the ‘contempt” charges if you do not pay the $400. per week REGARDLESS if you file for the hearing or not….So, what do you have to lose???

If she doesn’t file the contempt charges right away then you may get closer to the date of your hearing???

In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

[Secret Agent MGTOWParticipant 22542]

Knights Templar Rising wrote:

To launch the first strike, or not?
Background: Divorce Decree via mediator, filed three years back, was when my hourly rate was 3x what I am making now. I was laid off, applied for about 150 jobs over 18 months without a single offer (in some high tech positions “over 50” age discrimination is very real). Part of the decree was that I would pay 1/3 of my two kids’ tuition costs, which is not a state law, that I voluntarily signed at back when I had a good salary. On top of this I am locked into paying child support until they are 22yo, because in MA (USA) you are legally bound to do so if they are in college (horribly unfair law). Previously, I could have afforded both those expenses, but at my current wage I can not do both. I am willing to pay something towards the tuition cost, but certainly not the $200/wk they are demanding (I’m already paying $200 in support). Their demands are unrealistic, when I am living on on low wages. I have tried to reason with her, find a win-win solution, but like most women she is financially vindictive.
Question: I simply can not pay what they are asking, so a legal showdown is inevitable. In order to modify the divorce decree, I have to file for a hearing. The problem is, that it takes four months to get this hearing. In the meantime, if I do not pay the $400/wk, she will file contempt charges which get heard within 30 days. So my dilemma is whether to launch first strike by filing, or simply wait for her to file contempt?

you need to file for the hearing.

Women want everything, but want responsibility and accountability for nothing.

[TaxGuyParticipant]

If you don’t file for the hearing you just look like a deadbeat dad. That doesn’t go well.

File first.

Order the good wine

[Daryll55Participant 2953]

I would say file for the hearing. Apply for a MODIFICATION to your agreement. On the MOD app it will ask you in detail WHY you need the mod. Enter “substantial loss of Income” The judge (or more likely his aides) will review your app and schedule the hearing. You can’t owe what you can’t pay. My Family court did the mod when I applied. The comtempt issue could/should be dropped, esp if you inform them of the upcoming hearing for modification.
BE NICE! you should be ok.
If you get nasty, they could hit you in arears(sp?)
My Mod had my payments adjusted promptly. Thing about it is YOU need to notify them the DAY you get employed or you will wind up in arears.
My experience from yrs ago.
Good Luck

Marry again, Hell NO ! ( Even JESUS was hung on a cross just once)

[MonkParticipant 17023]

File first. Being found to be in contempt is serious.

[VanXingParticipant 98]

Always file first in this situation. My ex was getting 500+ a month in daycare cost deducted directly from my paycheck. When daycare ended she refuse to remove that amount from total support. Now I have to motion to get it removed and hold her in contempt. This is the BS you have to deal with in this western gyno society.

[iMickey503Participant 12465]

Wut the F~~~ are you even asking for? FILE MAN! Get your ass a LAWYER who WON’T SCREW YOU! If nothing else, Get on DDJ’s Show, and ask him.

You are all alone. If you have been falsely accused of RAPE, DV, PLEASE let all men know about the people who did this. http://register-her.net/web/guest/home

[OgreParticipant 5863]

File. The paperwork will show why you aren’t actually in “contempt” of court, you are unable to comply. You went through the mediation operating in good faith that your situation would remain stable. If your income had doubled she would have filed the day you let the info slip.

I failed to realize in my youth that I was the prize. I was going to work. I was going to earn. Little did I realize that due to feminism, that no longer meant I had to share. Road soon, Desert after.

[GrumpyParticipant]

File First.
This is not a “pre-emtive strike”. This is an adjustment required due to your diminishing financial circumstances.
1. Get your lawyer on the line.
2. File a variance order request.

There was a time in my life when I gave a fuck. Now you have to pay ME for it

[BarnstormerParticipant 190]

You should definitely file for modification ASAP. I did this successfully in MA and reduced CS from $400 bi-weekly to $250, based on reduced income. The company I was working for hit a rough patch and I was no longer getting paid commissions. I did this without any assistance from an attorney. I believe it cost $50 to file and then a day at the courthouse where it was handled by a probate mitigator before it went to the judge for signature. Just make sure you have your docs organized like pay stubs from 3 years ago vs. current.

The bad news is in MA, CS ends at age 23 as long as kid is full time college student.

Bastards…..

If you're going through hell, keep going.

[AttonParticipant]

Get a passport

A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!

[Author]

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