labor and birth stories at lunch.

[Anonymous 43]

f~~~. labor and birth stories at lunch has to be the worst, and they all gotta one up the previous s~~~show.

f~~~ them all, I watched both of my kids being born, and I caught the second one. so f~~~ yall’s stories of breathing through a little pain, I caught the slipperiest glob of slime and blood and 9 months of p~~~ water, then watched the horror of the afterbirth. I shoulda made the c~~~ eat that s~~~ so wolves wouldn’t track

oh sorry.

so yeah, eating my government subsidized salad and having 23 minutes without some other peoples mistakes screaming at me was ruined by that s~~~.

the first kid was more like a long term science project. the second one was just not as interesting, more like inconvenient. just get it over with so we can move on.

s~~~ the girls in the class are teasing boys…I know where babies come from. and they try teasing me with that too. I tell them I forgot. I wish I could really forget.

[Won'tGetFooledAgainParticipant 3331]

I love the way that women don’t tend to mention that they have no dignity during birth and quite often s~~~ themselves.

For women, everything eventually boils down to Alpha Fucks, Beta Bucks.

[experiencedParticipant]

It’s not a problem, tell c~~~ stories,for example shield your ears:
“YEAH, I HEARD IT’S BEsT TO EJACULATE EVERY OTHER DAY TO AVOID PROSTATE PROBLEMS.”
“IF MY P~~~ SLOWS, THE DOCTOR IS READY TO RUBBER GLOVE MY BACK DOOR TO CHECK THE PROSTATE SIZE AND FOR LUMPS, VIA MY RECTUM.”
“WHEN MY COUSIN HAD SURGERY THEY PUT HIS B~~~~ ON ICE DUE TO THE SWELLING, THEY SWELLED UP LIKE GRAPEFRUITS!”
ETC.

play the same game, include hernias from yardwork.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[HitmanParticipant]

i would move to another table.
or bring something cheap to eat,
and avoid it altogether.
use the time alone to read or study,
or do a little extra work.
let them yak while you are busy WINNING !
( instead of whining !)

[Faust For ScienceParticipant 22625]

I long for the days when “bodily functions” were considered poor dinner conversation.

[HitmanParticipant]

Faust For Science wrote:

I long for the days when “bodily functions” were considered poor dinner conversation.

manners seem to have disappeared.
i’ve noticed that too.

[bladeParticipant]

Wish i didn’t read this thread but oh well . Woman go threw a moment of pain but us fathers are put threw years of pain at a womans will .

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[TwistParticipant]

Giving birth easier than ordering a pizza. Ever order a pizza by mistake?

This never gets old.

[HitmanParticipant]

TWIST,
funny as hell because it’s so damn true man!
great video !!!
keep on posting brother!

[Anonymous 43]

at my last eval, the boss said I should interact with my coworkers more. this is the kind of bulls~~~ I would like to avoid.

[bladeParticipant]

I would of played mangina with this one . I would of gone on with some s~~~ like i was fealing the pain with her and carried on for a couple of minutes then said . It ended up been constipation after they had thrown a few replies your way

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[NerevarParticipant 8040]

Gods, yeah, these talks. I remember going outside for a ciggy while at work. Minding my own business, staring off in the distance, I suddenly heard those high-pitched shrill voices of female colleagues telling eachother about their births. What is it with women that their conversations ALWAYS turn to that s~~~?!

"One of the best things internet exposed is just how insane women are." - Freeman_K

[TwistParticipant]

Nerevar wrote:

What is it with women that their conversations ALWAYS turn to that s~~~?!

Because in so many cases it is the only accomplishment in their life they can claim. I know of two, both mothers of one child, who would continually relive the event as though they had been Noah, build the ark, and saved the world. Just shut the f~~~ up already…

[ConstantineParticipant 4420]

Horror stories from the delivery room are particularly annoying in this day and age, because modern women don’t even have to endure that drama if they don’t want to.

It’s not like back in the day when an expectant mother had to wait for the contractions to start, then spend 17 hours screaming her head off. These days a woman can make an appointment for a C-section and have it done within an hour.

So if a woman says F~~~ THAT and decides on a natural birth – her voluntary choice. She doesn’t get to bitch ad nauseum about “enduring the pain of childbirth”. It’s not as if there was no other alternative.

And for f~~~’s sake, she certainly doesn’t have to bitch about it WHILE PEOPLE ARE EAITNG.

To see what is in front of one's nose requires a constant struggle. -Orwell

[TwistParticipant]

Constantine wrote:

These days a woman can make an appointment for a C-section and have it done within an hour.

Even less extreme, the modern epidural is very, very effective. This way they don’t have a C-section scar to mar their hop back on the carousel, and they can even rest in relative peace while dreaming about their new 18 year tranch of revenue they are about to eject.

[Mr.NeverAgainParticipant 146]

I was at a restaurant once. A massively pregnant cow sitting at a huge party table right next to us started prego-puking like crazy. I was grossly disturbed at how concerned party and staff were, trying to prop up her bruised ego instead of cleaning the steaming spew. A free dinner, and I still couldn’t eat it, even at home…

If you look closely, women are often times the bigger slobs…

“I know your race. It is made up of sheep. It is governed by minorities, seldom or never by majorities. It suppresses its feelings and its beliefs and follows the handful that makes the most noise." The Mysterious Stranger by Mark Twain

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