Kids?

[UmmonParticipant 32]

Hey guys!

I am already a part of this community since some time but just joined now as a user.

Well, I am thinking about being a father. I – not someone else – really like kids and honestly, I am starting to think about getting kids a couple of times a day.

Now, here is the catch. I am in a “good” LTR (6 Years) and as independent as possible (I mean it’s still a relationship…).
No marriage, no shared bank accounts, no debts, my stuff is mine, etc. (my girl has her own job, car, stuff, and so on).
I really like her and enjoy the relationship (part of it because I can still be me and do what i like).

I do what I want… holydays on my own (I got the money) or with other friends (without my GF), hobbies, sports – u name it.
I know you guys would recommend to stay the f~~~ away from kids 😉

However – do you have any advice how one CAN have kids but not totally f~~~ up his independence?

I mean I can afford to pay for the kids in case of a split up and we are not married (so no money for her in this case).
However, are there any pitfalls I need to know? I am living in Europe; the law is not as bad as in the US regarding fatherhood.

Of course she could alway try to get full custody in case of a break up (since we’re not married).
But I guess that case schould be manageable with pretty decent lawyer.

 

 

[Crazy CanuckMember 4215]

Do not have kids with her. Women do often change after they have kids, some women quit their job to live off you. You will be trapped. Which country in Europe are you in? Remember that she can claim false domestic abuse or rape and you will end up in prison. There was a guy in Europe where he had pay alimony. They kept on asking for more and more and eventually he took his own life.

"If pussy was a stock it would be plummeting right now because you've flooded the market with it. You're giving it away too easy." - Dave Chapelle

[SnakeSpectator 2080]

Ummon wrote:

I mean I can afford to pay for the kids in case of a split up and we are not married

If you can afford this, you can afford a surrogate mother. Never give a woman control over anything you value in life.

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

Keep the mothers name off the birth certificate …….. oh s~~~ … you can’t.

You CAN’T have kids ….. only she can.

What you would ‘like’ and what you get …. IS ENTIRELY UP TO HER.

The only way you can ever have a kid is the way Snake has told you.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

[MOWsince95Participant 1446]

Adopt .. as a single father.  Name another godparent, just in case, but by all means don’t have some bitch entwined in your life from now till forever.

If you are MGTOW when you are young you have no heart.
If you're not MGTOW when you are 20 you have no brain.

[iamblichusParticipant 34]

Women change once you have kids and expect you to give up / do way more than you did before. You’re just an afterthought once the kids arrive. If you are cool with that, great, but all of the shaming and “mothering” instincts start up once the baby comes into the picture, which means you are just a strong set of arms and an ATM. And good luck having your own place once the baby is in the picture. 90% of the battle the first six months is sleep, and if you check out every day to your own bed, guess who is going to be downwind during the ensuing s~~~-storm. To be honest, kids sort of wrecked my marriage, or rather, exacerbated a lot of problems that were always there but I found “tolerable” because I had my own space and more time than I needed to do all the stuff I wanted / needed to do. That’s over once kids are in the picture. I love my kids, and basically live for them. I’m still married to my wife because of the kids, but the marriage is dormant to dead. It’s just a routine of stuff that needs to get done. And yeah, if I ask for some slack or desire for the hamster wheel to slow down, guess who has the power to kick me off the island? Then again, it might be more manageable with only one kid. S~~~ really hit the fan once the second kid came into the picture. Still, I’d totally not do it.

[Sky-OParticipant 18933]

If I could hypothetically lay an egg and months later my kid would be born, then I would probably have a kid.

But having to deal with a woman, divorce, lawyers, custody battle, the state, etc. NO WAY

[The_Meek_OneParticipant 30]

MOWsince95 wrote:

Adopt .. as a single father. Name another godparent, just in case, but by all means don’t have some bitch entwined in your life from now till forever.

I agree with this completely. Adoption. There are many, many children out in the world that could use a good dad, and you won’t be attached to another parent.

Now I understand you want to share this experience with the lady you are with, and I can’t blame you, but things change when these little guys come into the picture. If something happens down the road, which I am now inclined to believe it will, then you and your kids will suffer. Trust me you will. Personally I don’t think it’s worth it. Your call though.

[experiencedParticipant]

“Adopt as a single father name another godparent”  sounds good, but if I had to do that, I’d get at least two letters from two seperate attorneys on this one. Consider gathering Facts for a year unsparingly, and see what the facts tell you. The stakes can be costly that women don’t mind driving through your heart.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[UmmonParticipant 32]

The_Meek_One wrote:

I agree with this completely. Adoption. There are many, many children out in the world that could use a good dad, and you won’t be attached to another parent. Now I understand you want to share this experience with the lady you are with, and I can’t blame you, but things change when these little guys come into the picture. If something happens down the road, which I am now inclined to believe it will, then you and your kids will suffer. Trust me you will. Personally I don’t think it’s worth it. Your call though.

Actually I don’t care about sharing this experience with my lady (maybe we split up in some years, who knows…).
But it would be nice if it’s my (biological) child.

Thanks for all the replies. It is nice to get an outside view on this topic… and I see that it is f~~~ed up.

I have never thought about adoption. This seems like a good idea indeed.
However, I am not sure if I could adopt as a single, unmarried person. The authorities seem to be somewhat strict about this.
A surrogate mother is not allowed in my country (Germany) as well.

I guess it’s adoption (somehow) versus having my own child (and thus giving my b~~~~ away).

I have to think about that some more…

[Author]

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