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PuniShredder 3 years, 2 months ago.
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I’m a 45 year old Male. Professional musician. I own a corporate/private events Live entertainment business and I gig full time. I have a LOT of experience with women needless to say and I learned about their nature early on. Unfortunately, I thought I could find the Unicorn. REFUSED to have relationships as they were all whores. Basically I slept with or took the virginity of most of my sisters friends whether single or not and I never pursued any of them. I was in my room 8 hours a night playing guitar, writing songs etc. Basically ignored their idiotic bulls~~~ and they threw themselves at me either way. I enjoyed them on a VERY superficial level. Keeping it light on my terms. Some fun, drink sex, all good. I started early and always enjoyed them physically but have viewed women since I was about 12 as toys. I even referred to them as such.
Fast forward to my late teens. Had an actual girlfriend who was a psycho and I took her in. Basically she was so hot and I wanted that Gina so much I ignored my better judgement. She ended up f~~~ing a friend of mine and tried to claim I got her pregnant!! I called BS and she lied, pretended to go get a morning after pill and take care of it. AWALT..Even then I knew this but my lizard brain continued to overrule my logical mind and I still played around with them when they came my way.
Joined the army for a few years, had some fun, nothing serious as I was not around much. Came home and IMMEDIATELY met my first real girlfriend. It was burning hot attraction from the first look. The kind that scrambles your brain and makes a man insane. We were never apart for the next year and a 1/2 until she started asking where it was going. She asked if I loved her and I said, “I don’t know. I’ve never been in love..It seems like I do”..That was the beginning of a QUICK ending and It blew me up as everything seemed great. We had a cool little pad, I was gigging a lot, we f~~~ed constantly, had fun etc…But, because I didn’t profess my love to her..I was honest and said I didn’t really know what love was, she withdrew. Right into the arms of another guy she thought she could monkey branch to. He convinced her to go pick him up in MY NEW TRUCK we bought together in Minnesota!! She had f~~~ed this dude in the past. Needless to say, I begged her not to go. Tried to talk and reason with her..Told her it was over if she did. She went..I went f~~~ing nuts…Lost my mind. Even now it’s painful reliving it in my mind. Fast forward she came back, claimed she didn’t f~~~ him etc..I kicked her out, she ended up with him for less than 2 weeks and he threw her to the curb. Used her for a ride back to our state. A few months go by i’m starting to see other girls. She begged for forgiveness but that’s not me. I was still hurt but no damn way was I ever going to give a cheating bitch another chance. Even then My logical mind knew what was up but I had the urges of a young man that would still overrule logic.
Next mistake came about a year later in the form of another STRONG attraction who I KNEW as a complete c~~~!! I figured I would just ignore that part and hit it as much as possible until it imploded! Again, I become so addicted to that pussy that she got me to move in with her when I KNEW THAT WAS THE WORST POSSIBLE THING I COULD EVER DO. Then, she proceeded to start “Improving” My dress. I was a jeans and TShirt rock dude. She bought me preppy cloths and started ruling my time. Before her I was a 6 day a week gym guy in GREAT shape. By the time we moved in together I no longer had time for the gym and by the time we broke up a year later, I was a good 20lbs fatter and hadn’t been to the gym in a year!! Anyway, It played out as expected and she monkey branched to another guy admitting to me that we couldn’t be together because I would never be subservient to her. I’m too Alpha..LOL. I said obviously.
Fast forward through my 20’s and I had a few more hot and heavy but short relationships. Most of them tried their best to get me to fall in love with them to no avail. I understood the nature of women at some level and my past experience only added to that wisdom but inside I still wanted that Unicorn. That perfect pretty wife, kids, family etc. Basically something that no one I knew ever had. It was the Hollywood fairytale that I still bought into on an unconscious level I think.
Around the end of my 20’s I became friends (I thought we were friends but she was really in love with me) with a chick who basically became my roommate/c~~~blocker/best friend. She somehow played on my emotions and got me to care enough about her to become the biggest f~~~ing white knight for her for 10 years of my life! IT absolutely devastated my romantic life. Screeched it to a halt! I paid for countless thousands of dollars of her existence over that time and fell into a deep deep depression over it. Got fat as F~~~. I mean 40lbs heavier than my heaviest ever! Went completely celibate for 5 years because I was so demoralized and hated myself. Finally I said enough, left that situation and never returned. However just as I was getting my life back. I had lost the weight, was in Europe playing music full time, women were interested in me again due to my positive attitude and confidence, I was f~~~ing the hottest Scandinavian and Russian women I had ever been with I ended up reconnecting with an old muse from the 90’s. The old latent white knight in me must have reactivated and I must have invented the perfect woman in my mind, juxtaposed over this former friend/muse. I fell “in love”…..Meanwhile I had all manner of hot, young Northern European women around me and I was pining for a 38 year old single mother of f~~~ing 2 in New Jersey!!!!!! WTF WAS I THINKING!!!!! I see now, It was very Freudian. She was basically my mother..My mother was a single mother who raised my sister and I and I was going to f~~~ing marry my mother…Holy s~~~ it’s so easy to see now what I did. I figured it out in the first year of our marriage and I should have bailed but let me get to that.
Yes. I’m married. FULLY RED PILL. Basically my wife works full time and makes more money than me. I control the finances, and we do what I say, moved where I wanted live according to what I think is best as I think she understands if I leave she’s f~~~ed. Yes the father pays child support but the least I have ever seen someone pay that I know, for 2 boys…My wife isn’t very interesting Sits around watching pet video’s scrolling through job sites when she’s home as she hates her job but of course I won’t let her leave. Intellectually she’s very inferior to me. NOT interested in politics, reading, history or pretty much anything as you would expect. She is cute. Always has been. I stay on her about her weight and looks. I’m VERY VERY blunt about it. ( I look good. 45, look 35 for real, full head of hair, no grey, leaned down to my 20’s weight.) Basically she’s still a woman and p~~~es me the f~~~ off 1/2 the time but I think of her like a pet or 10 year old girl and in my mind that enables me to deal with her. It helps that she is out of the house 60hrs a week. We f~~~ 1-2 times a week and i’m still very attracted to her. We connect very well in that department but I still end up jerking off 2-3 times a week on top of that. Of course to younger, hotter women. My sex drive is still very strong but 3 times a week is about all I want to f~~~ my wife. Her body is just ok. She needs to lose 30lbs and tighten up and as she’s mid 40’s it’s only going to get worse. Within a few years I won’t want to touch her.
Basically I’m in a good position because I can’t really be divorce raped. I raised the boys (11 and 14) since they were 3 and 6 respectively. I was the day to day parent and my wife worked full time. I can honestly say that if the boys weren’t involved we would never have gotten married and at the very least never made it past the first year. I would have bailed. I have had many many months of very bad times in this marriage hating my existence and my wife. Marrying a woman with 2 kids from another guy in your late 30’s in an insane persons folly and I don’t recommend it to my worse nemesis. Either way, I went to school and incurred $53K debt to help the household in the past 6 years that she would have to pay 1/2 of plus a few K in CC, dental credit debt. The crux of it is I stay because I love the boys and the thought of nuking their existence hurts me. As men, we care about those things. We have honor, virtue and human empathy that most women can’t understand. However I know once the boys are out of school my wife and I will be done. We’ll have nothing in common and she will be old. I mean she’s here for me but she’s still a woman and I understand their nature. I do care about her and don’t’ want to hurt her.
Now the problem is I feel trapped. BIG TIME. Bored to tears and I’m really sick of raising another mans children. I could have my own but no damn way in this society with the courts and culture against men! Hell no!! It’s expensive as HELL keeping this household up and even though we bring in OK middle class $$ between the 2 of us we’re strapped. I could get a small place on my own if we broke up and easily have a couple grand extra a month on my income. Living married we’re strapped and I can’t afford to indulge in any shooting sports which are my passion and hobby, travel, etc…It’s really a bummer. Something is holding me back from torpedoing my wife and kid’s lives at the expense of my own happiness. I’m totally l red pill. Women make me SICK. OMG I look at the women out there today and they are fat, disgusting, tattooed up crude, entitled bitches! The average woman/girl out there today is fatter than what I would have considered a fatty when I was out whoring around. It’s simply amazing that any man would want to buy that s~~~, marry it up…YUK!!!!! Plus women tend to vote leftist. The Mommy state/Daddy Govt takes care of them. All in all I want nothing to do with them other than some pussy here and there if it’s thrown at me. Post wall women are ALWAYS hitting on my at the gym, starbucks, grocery store. It’s so hilarious!! I have my wife who does look better than most of them…
Either way I have been raising the boys to steer clear of women and recognize their nature, games etc. I’ve been educating them on female nature and the rolls we naturally should be playing. I figure it’s my duty while I’m around in these formative years.
So I’m planning on leaving but really not in the position I want to be in yet to do so but I totally know what’s up and have insulated myself as much as possible from the bulls~~~ women throw our way. Yes I f~~~ed up big time. I still do what I want within the bounds of being financially strapped because there’s 4 of us.
That’s my story and I own it.
Be professional be polite but always have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
This was an epic read. Laughed in places too. You got the red-pill lingo down and ev’rything.
That’s my story and I own it.
Nice. It comes off the page like you enjoyed writing it, too.
Welcome, friend.Marrying a woman with 2 kids from another guy in your late 30’s in an insane persons folly and I don’t recommend it to my worse nemesis. ….. I love the boys and the thought of nuking their existence hurts me.
That’s my kryptonite because I like kids and its mutual. I met a single Mom recently. A rare one, great looking, seemingly well-put-together and the kid was HELLA cute. She came on like gangbusters too, but suddenly I had to go home and clean my andirons. And I don’t even have a working fireplace.
It’s easy to be charmed by the kids, but I’m not going there for all the tea in China.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.Welcome to the brother hood
THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .
This was an epic read. Laughed in places too. You got the red-pill lingo down and ev’rything.
That’s my story and I own it.
Nice. It comes off the page like you enjoyed writing it, too.
Welcome, friend.Marrying a woman with 2 kids from another guy in your late 30’s in an insane persons folly and I don’t recommend it to my worse nemesis. ….. I love the boys and the thought of nuking their existence hurts me.
That’s my kryptonite because I like kids and its mutual. I met a single Mom recently. A rare one, great looking, seemingly well-put-together and the kid was HELLA cute. She came on like gangbusters too, but suddenly I had to go home and clean my andirons. And I don’t even have a working fireplace.
It’s easy to be charmed by the kids, but I’m not going there for all the tea in China.
Thanks Man..To the Brothers: Whatever you do DON’T do what I did!!! Single mom’s are SO EASY to meet and many of them look pretty good. Pump and dump only…..
For me…All i look at is the younger ones these days with smooth skin. There are still a bunch around my town as it’s a HUGE University town.
Be professional be polite but always have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
Welcome home.
Regarding the one who broke it off because you wouldn’t be subservient, had you become subservient, she would’ve eventually broken it off for that too. It’s hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that women are a walking talking “catch 22”.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catch-22_(logic)
"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."
Anonymous42I got to the married part and stopped reading, I feel so depressed, I think I’ll go take a nap…
No, seriously, the first paragraph discribed my life like looking in a mirror!
And that that hot chick you told the truth about your feelings and two weeks latter she’s pumping you buddy!
That was almost a mirror except he wasn’t a friend.Welcome to MGTOW Kempercat! Sounds like you know the score when dealing with women in general;
MEN:0
WOMEN:81,004That’s a game I refuse to play!
Welcome!
Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?
I think a large portion of us over 50 guys can relate to your life. We lived it.
When my father was terminal at the hospital I would wheel him down to a park area and we would talk about life.
I was in a similar mind set to you. My father listened for hours as I told him about my s~~~ life.
I will never forget his words. He told me that all old men that live a life are a cautionary tale for the younger boys. But the boys will be boys. When you live a life that includes a woman your life is always a cautionary tale.
Hope his words help.
Peace brothers
From one rocker to another – rock on.
Welcome. All my relationships with women have had their short comings – if I could kill my Sex drive they’d be no reason for contact with them.
Love is a dream and hate sends you to hell, both eminate from romantic relationships.
Good news bros, the coming VR wave may solve this for us dudes – all the pleasure with 1/10 less the female bulls~~~.
Welcome. Great intro.
Single mom’s are SO EASY to meet and many of them look pretty good.
This is a non issue for me. I naturally don’t have a lot of empathy for people, so it’s easy to ignore the needs of women, even if they have cute little crotch goblins.
I have discovered a truly remarkable list of reasons why women are not necessary for a happy life, but alas this margin is too small to contain it.
Welcome brother. Pleasure to hear from you. Look forward to hearing more. Be patient your time is coming. You are amongst friends.
Peace is > piece.
WELCOME TO THE FOLD BROTHER.
LILITH IS THE HEAD SUCCUBUS AND SHE LIVES ON THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON
Welcome
If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.
@kempercat: We have had similar life experiences. You could be my best friend. I have been where you are. Check out my posts here. I will say that then the boys get older, you will feel more and more intense feelings of going your own way. Stay strong!!
Thanks guys you’re words really help. I’m sure like many, I have some very dark depressed days where I feel like a Death Row inmate. Working a plan to get out but I fear it’s going to take another 5 years or so. At that point the older boy will be in college and the younger a Junior. Like I said right now, I need my wife’s financial help to dig out from the Marriage debt. Biding my time hoping to raise 2 good men even if it’s thankless..It’s still honorable.
Be professional be polite but always have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
Anonymous0Thanks guys you’re words really help. I’m sure like many, I have some very dark depressed days where I feel like a Death Row inmate. Working a plan to get out but I fear it’s going to take another 5 years or so. At that point the older boy will be in college and the younger a Junior. Like I said right now, I need my wife’s financial help to dig out from the Marriage debt. Biding my time hoping to raise 2 good men even if it’s thankless..It’s still honorable.
Welcome home, Kempercat
Jump in. Sounds like you have everything under control. What jumps out for me is your dedication to the boys. Bide your time. 5 years out of the rest of your life will seem like a small sacrifice when you are invited to their graduations. Look forward to hearing from you.I got to the married part and stopped reading, I feel so depressed, I think I’ll go take a nap…
No, seriously, the first paragraph discribed my life like looking in a mirror!
And that that hot chick you told the truth about your feelings and two weeks latter she’s pumping you buddy!
That was almost a mirror except he wasn’t a friend.Welcome to MGTOW Kempercat! Sounds like you know the score when dealing with women in general;
MEN:0
WOMEN:81,004That’s a game I refuse to play!
Thanks brother!!
Be professional be polite but always have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
@kempercat: We have had similar life experiences. You could be my best friend. I have been where you are. Check out my posts here. I will say that then the boys get older, you will feel more and more intense feelings of going your own way. Stay strong!!
Thanks Nero. I’ll check out your posts.
Be professional be polite but always have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
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