Just want to say thanks

[xlrsnbrgParticipant 1786]

to all of you for all the advice from this sub-forum regarding discipline, work ethic and also knowing when to say “no”. The rest of the website may save lives with the relationship advice. But this is important too.

I’ve just went through an event at work which reminded me of one of Keymaster’s stories. Some colleagues dragged their feet with a task, for which I finished my part last week and I did a damn good job too. They really started to work on it on Friday afternoon, and just before closing time asked me to stay overtime (and most likely overnight) to help them finish since it has to be done by Monday.

When I was younger I might have agreed. Now I have just said “no” to their faces. Politely but I’m sure it p~~~ed them off. Will have to wait now and see now if there’s going to be consequences.

And you know what, it feels great. I’m upset but not angry at all. Definitely feels better than being miserable working on Friday night, which would have angered me for sure.

A man shouldn't make his life's objective to be on the side of the majority, but to avoid finding himself in the ranks of the insane. (Marcus Aurelius)

[KeymasterKeymaster]

If something specific happened in your life that inspired you to say this, please share it if you want! Work ethic and self-discipline / motivation are key.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[xlrsnbrgParticipant 1786]

Thanks Keymaster, I’ve just added it to my post. Actually it’s your advice that I’ve followed 🙂

A man shouldn't make his life's objective to be on the side of the majority, but to avoid finding himself in the ranks of the insane. (Marcus Aurelius)

[KeymasterKeymaster]

OH Excellent! And I totally agree it does FEEL AWESOME. I’m glad to know it was not just about being a dick (for the sake if it), you did your job and well. What you established was that you’re not there to pick up someone else’s slack on a Friday end of day with no notice – or incentive.

If it comes up again, (or they confront you), I once handled a similar thing this way……

“I said no because it should always be assumed that I have plans at end of day, and I require 24 notice for any request outside of business hours. You can ASK me next time and offer an incentive, some adequate notice, and I will be happy to help. Or if you would like me to be possibly available for extended hours, let’s renegotiate my salary. “.

I had concert / theatre tickets already as well.
If they expected me to cancel, they would have to pay for them

+ a hefty cancellation fee
+ add some more for the devastated girlfriend who wont be putting out and will be causing all kinds of drama when I call and tell her I will be at work longer.
+ dinner

I MADE SURE they understood that I will go above and beyond if needed.
But not by expecting an automatic “yes” at Friday at end of day.
They are out of their minds.

During the time they are not paying you for… they should assume YOU’RE BUSY.
They can buy that time by making you an offer you can’t refuse. Anytime they are ready.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Anonymous 18]

xlrsnbrg wrote:

which would have angered me for sure

I can relate to that self-consuming anger when I had been unable to say no. It’s an extremely frustrating realization that comes in stark contrast to how we see ourselves as respectable and honest men.

When I did say no – it felt like a weight lifted off of me.

The first NO is the hardest.

Congratulations.

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

Saying nothing but no is very difficult. When asked and you say no it is over.

If they harp at you in the future about it just look at them and say nothing. Revel in the awkward silence

An old man named rotten john taught me. It is freaking difficult to just look at someone and not reply.

If someone asks you, you have the right to say no. Nice people p~~~ me off because they are not. Manipulative is what they are.

No

Peace brothers

[KeymasterKeymaster]

DorkShit wrote:

If someone asks you, you have the right to say no.

Most people who react negatively to a “no” need to be reminded that “NO” is a perfectly acceptable response.

It’s actually rude to expect an automatic “yes”.

“NO” must therefore be the expected automatic response.
That’s where you want to be. Where other EXPECT you to say no.
And then a “yes” is recognized as a gift.

When they expect you to say yes, they have no respect for you or your time.

I f~~~ing hate educating those people on this. F~~~ THEM for expecting a yes in the first place. It’s an insult that they would assume I have nothing better to do at end of day on a Friday than to please them after doing that all week – even on days I didn’t feel like it. And then trying to make me feel like an asshole because I said “no”. F~~~ them right in the ass. Because I can be rude too.

Thats’ the angle to be played here.

“Saying NO is not rude. Expecting an automatic YES is rude.”

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[xlrsnbrgParticipant 1786]

Just to clarify (and vent off a bit more), I’m definitely not the dick in this situation, I have a clear conscience. I’ve spent many nights at work in the past just because these same guys work chaotically and procrastinate, for tasks that could be done way ahead of schedule with a bit of discipline. I’m sick of it. I’m no longer in my twenties when I can pull a one-nighter and just shake it off, now I need a couple of days to recover and it’s affecting my other work duties and my health. And that’s exactly what I’ll tell the boss if I get any complaints.

About accepting “no”. People who don’t accept a refusal that was given for a good reason, are the people who don’t respect you and will try to use you whatever you do. Then what’s the point of being nice to them. I just gave an excuse to dodge any possible anger from the boss and I’m done.

A man shouldn't make his life's objective to be on the side of the majority, but to avoid finding himself in the ranks of the insane. (Marcus Aurelius)

[KeymasterKeymaster]

xlrsnbrg wrote:

Just to clarify (and vent off a bit more), I’m definitely not the dick in this situation, I have a clear conscience. I’ve spent many nights at work in the past just because these same guys work chaotically and procrastinate, for tasks that could be done way ahead of schedule with a bit of discipline. I’m sick of it.

Great! As long as you are sure of yourself – and you KNOW you did the right thing – you can’t lose. Best place to be, and it makes you virtually bullet proof.

I remember once being terrified of saying what I knew to be right and was SHOCKED that I didn’t get canned for it. I got promoted and a raise instead. Play good obedient little doggy, and you may as well kiss your man-card goodbye. Refuse to compromise your virtues and you may even surprise yourself.

I would wish you luck, but luck is not a factor.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Anonymous 42]

Why weren’t they asking you to make plans to work the weekend mid week when they were f~~~ing off and wasting time?

No, they wait until Friday and Jihad bum’s rush blitz f~~~ you into picking up their slack? That’s as RUDE as interrupting someone that’s about to sit down and eat!

I automatically reject people that don’t make appointments or give me a heads-up, unless it’s a legitimate emergency.

No should be your standard built in response to trap door bulls~~~ like that!

Family are the biggest offenders of that kind of bulls~~~…

[joetechParticipant]

If I were you(and I’m full of bad advice) I would write my own review of the team’s performance during the project. Submit it to the project manager along with cc’s to all the bosses.

"Don't follow in my footsteps...I stepped in something."

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

The funny thing is that I have been dealing with a similar work issues.

The Sr manager is a lesbian t~~~. A coworker was telling us that during the tropical storm his wife made him get out of bed and get into the bathroom closet with their dog and two cats. He got zero sleep and looked like s~~~.

I said that no power on earth could have made me get into a closet. I officially requested his man card.

The lesbian huffed and told me that what I said was so mean. Your evil she said to me.

I looked at her and said nothing. It was the last time I spoke around her.

Peace brothers

[HitmanParticipant]

if i helped in any way then,
your’e welcome !

[Author]

Posts