Just Pulled In

[CPT ObviousParticipant 2729]

Been lurking for just over a week and figured it was time to join because many times I wanted to chime in.

I am 45 years old and divorced twice.  The first was for over 16 years and resulted in a ground-zero divorce.  Yes, she cheated, and yes, I was encouraged to man-up and make it work.  After four years trying and going through hell, I moved out on (what I thought) were amicable terms.  Surprise, surprise, she embarked on a scorched earth policy that lasted nearly a year in the divorce courts.  More on that in another post(s).

From there, I rebounded into a second marriage on the heels of the first.  That marriage lasted just over a year.  It was a case of blue-pill overdose that propelled me into the second marriage. I mistakenly thought I was wiser now, that she truly loved me, and that we were surely headed for a happy ending, right?  RIGHT?!!  Well, s~~~, I watched the switch flip as soon as the ring went on.  Suddenly it was game on.  My life became her playground of controlling, nagging, bitching, and spending…. Good Gawd, the spending.  She came into the relationship with $60 to her name and lots of debt, but I thought, “What-the-hell-why-not, the sex is great.”

I watched as she quickly blew through my remaining $25k in savings and then proceeded to max out my cards (after paying off hers, of course).  I realized I had to hit the eject button as quickly as f~~~ing possible before I was completely ruined.  More on that later, too.

Side Note: I really “enjoy” reading other’s stories (makes me realize I am not the only one experiencing these events and feelings).  Posting some of my experiences will be cathartic for me and a lesson for others.

Nasty, expensive divorces are red pill suppositories that quickly hit the system.  At first I thought I was just being pessimist.  Regardless, realizations and clarity began to form long before I knew what MGTOW was all about.  In fact, I never heard of MGTOW until stumbling across a comment to some feminist’s rant that lead me to this site.

I read, enthralled, nodding my head as I read post after post.  That said, I realize I am still very early in this journey.  I am clearly a Level Zero.  I am aware but not acting upon it other than sorting through my thoughts.

I have worked in IT for over 20 years, and have been in the National Guard for nearly 10.  About a year ago, I finished a tour in Afghanistan.  Upon returning home, my girlfriend moved in with me.  Something about being overseas in a s~~~ country with people trying to kill you that makes you miss female companionship.  Go figure.  She is about as close to a NAWALT as you can get, but I have realized there isn’t such a thing as a true NAWALT like we imagine/hope, just varying degrees of crazy, controlling, whoring, emotional women.  Again, more on that later as I try to figure it out.

Currently, I am working on my Master’s Degree in MIS as I sort out my future path.  My employer, a very large U.S. bank, has decided in its wisdom to outsource all its IT, and I have been given a warning shot that I am next on the chopping block after 17 years with the company.  Yet another red pill suppository.

Thank you all for sharing your stories and welcoming me.  I hope to contribute more in the future and learn from everyone’s experiences, thoughts and perspectives.

"You don't know a woman till you have met her in divorce court."

[Anonymous 42]

@CPT Obvious, welcome! I enjoyed your story, much more to come, you left several strings hanging, You must have seen allot; when you share your stories here people do listen…Thanks, and welcome to MGTOW….

[…Spectator 1165]

welcome Captain Obvious! you are a few days late, and more than a dollar short….but…we’ve been expecting you for awhile. glad u finally made it man.

[…Spectator 1165]

Obvious: first time i heard Red Pill Suppository here. Thanks, I’m stealing that one bro.

[Smitty the Great OneParticipant 1535]

Welcome Capt. I’m glad to see you here at the end of all things. Yep…. you didn’t expect life to turn out like this…. good news, that’s not going to be a problem. Once you get your life down to basics, and it dawns on you how much crap you had in your life BECAUSE of women (either to attract or for them) you’re going to feel a great weight disappear. Yeah you got burned,…… twice……real bad. Ok, you might get s~~~ canned soon, and that Golden Nawalt will find greener fields I imagine. Even that is no big deal, because guess what brother? You will be free, and you can do what you do somewhere else, and not sweat any of it.

Life is too long to play by someone elses rules....

[CPT ObviousParticipant 2729]

… wrote:

Obvious: first time i heard Red Pill Suppository here. Thanks, I’m stealing that one bro.

Steal away, buddy.  When I was writing my intro, I initially typed “took the red pill”.  But in thinking about it, that sounds voluntary, like popping a vitamin. It is when the courts had me bent over with no lubrication was the first red pill inserted, hence the suppository.

I now take my daily red pills in easy-to-swallow tablets via this site and others.

"You don't know a woman till you have met her in divorce court."

[CPT ObviousParticipant 2729]

Smitty the Great One wrote:

Welcome Capt. I’m glad to see you here at the end of all things. Yep…. you didn’t expect life to turn out like this…. good news, that’s not going to be a problem. Once you get your life down to basics, and it dawns on you how much crap you had in your life BECAUSE of women (either to attract or for them) you’re going to feel a great weight disappear. Yeah you got burned,…… twice……real bad. Ok, you might get s~~~ canned soon, and that Golden Nawalt will find greener fields I imagine. Even that is no big deal, because guess what brother? You will be free, and you can do what you do somewhere else, and not sweat any of it.

So true, thanks Smitty.

At the very least the red pill has already given me a new perspective and kept me from doing something stupid like getting married again — screw that.  Additionally, the balance of power in my relationship has shifted dramatically.  I don’t tolerate the female bulls~~~ drama anymore and have made that clear.  Kicked her to the curb once already.  When she came back apologizing, I laid out “My house, my rules” criteria if she wants to stay. As you said, doing so has lifted a lot of the weight off my shoulders.  I am not responsible for making her happy or meeting her every need whether through action or purchase.

I do realize that I might be better off without her, I see a lot of logic in the additional MGTOW levels.  But for now, I am willing to go along as long as I feel I it is working.  Yeah, I’m playing with fire, but like you said, maybe if I get laid off and she moves on, I am totally fine with that.  If she wants to pull some hypergamy and go after some blue-piller or white knight, then go.

An article linked to on this site, helped me understand my situation:  http://theobserverwatches.blogspot.com/2012/12/the-four-levels-of-mgtow-betas-shrug.html  — at level zero “men in this group may take precautions to keep what they have, such as learning game or through other methods to minimize the risks as far as possible while still having a hand in play.”

She does not have access to any of my assets.  Nothing is jointly held or titled.  She pays for her stuff — car, insurance, medical, etc.  When we go out, we alternate turns on paying.  I installed a lock on the door to one that is very easily changed.  She likes to buy stuff to decorate the house, but I have a line-item veto on anything she wants to add.  I don’t allow her to buy anything that would be considered an improvement to the house (landscaping, light fixtures, paint).  I have been researching other ideas to protect myself.  Thankfully, I live in Arizona which is not a common-law state.  But even with that, I am looking at doing a pre-nup type document with my lawyer to protect me from a trend where the courts seem to enforce a marriage-type split on non-married couples.

Anyway, a lot more I could say about that (kinda got off on a tangent). Talking about a relationship on a MGTOW site could be perceived as a little disingenuous. However, there are probably others here in a similar boat and if they want to banter thoughts, I am willing.

"You don't know a woman till you have met her in divorce court."

[Anonymous 11]

Welcome Captain!!

You are not alone here that I want to let you know.  We’ve all been through variations of the same thing.  I’ve never been married though, and my married friends tell me to never do it so I don’t think I’ve missed out on anything.   Of course, I’ve put up with over 30 years of female’s lies and deceits over many relationships.

I too am in IT.  I got s~~~ canned with zero notice after my company got bought out and got a skinflint severance package to boot. I’ve gone MGTOW with my career by becoming a consultant, and I went MGTOW with women too.  I’ve decided it was both for very similar reasons.  Megacorps only care about what they can extract from you just like the wenches.

We are the resistance and are growing our numbers.   This board is really awesome as you can just be yourself.  So kick back take things one day at a time.  You are your number one best friend.

[Anonymous 42]

CPT Obvious, your honesty is all that can be expected, apologies here are rarely accepted.
We open our minds in a world where nobodies listens. It’s priceless being here among men that listen, we’re not rude, we’re honest and straight forward, anything else, we bulls~~~ ourselves…

[BrianParticipant 87]

 

Welcome!

Glad you found your way here and not into another marriage.  One of the system’s strategies is to shame you into “manning up” and being some other shrew’s mangina after you get your ass and b~~~~ handed to you.  So many other guys are doing it, it seems to make sense when you’re in the thick of it, and misery loves company so they’re all too happy  to see you come back into the cave.  But now you see the emperor has no clothes, cuz his wife stole em to make draperies or a duvet, or some other manner of unnecessary monkeys~~~.  There’s strenght in numbers, and every one who joins us adds to the odds that mgtow will get a fair consideration when some poor guy, having had his life destroyed, is wondering, “Is there some other way to life that feels less like rape?” (Real rape, I mean, not “I was drunk and thought he was taller, so technically I wasn’t willing to sleep with him so I was “raped”.  That’s absurd and destructive.)

[CPT ObviousParticipant 2729]

Brian wrote:

  But now you see the emperor has no clothes, cuz his wife stole em to make draperies or a duvet, or some other manner of unnecessary monkeys~~~.

I literally laughed out loud on that one.  Now we know the REAL reason the emperor has no clothes (and why my 401K is a concentration camp version of its former self).

"You don't know a woman till you have met her in divorce court."

[Anonymous 0]

Hi CPT Obvious, good to have you here. Another IT Professional approximately my Age.

CHEERS!!!

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Captain! Welcome to MGTOW! I have this strange feeling we have connected elsewhere in the Manosphere before. In some exchange. Perhaps it’s your handle or your story. Not quit sure, but welcome all the same. And thanks for introducing yourself. Hope to read more from you. You seem very well versed in the MGTOW mindset for a dude married twice. Most impressive I don’t mind saying.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Smitty the Great OneParticipant 1535]

S~~~ Capt. don’t sweat having her living their, just remember you need to keep a strong pimphand.If she flakes, kick her on down the street. There will be another female coming  along in 15 minutes, she’ll do some freaky s~~~ too. As long as you let her know her place, you’ll get what you want.

Life is too long to play by someone elses rules....

[Anonymous 0]

Hello CPT Obvious glad your here are you Mister Obvious of GLP fame?

[CPT ObviousParticipant 2729]

Keymaster wrote:

Captain! Welcome to MGTOW! I have this strange feeling we have connected elsewhere in the Manosphere before. In some exchange. Perhaps it’s your handle or your story. Not quit sure, but welcome all the same. And thanks for introducing yourself. Hope to read more from you. You seemvery well versed in the MGTOW mindset for a dude married twice. Most impressive I don’t mind saying.

Much appreciated, but no, this is our first interaction. As for being well-versed in MGTOW, all the concepts are self evident once you see females and society for what they really are. I learned most of the acronyms and terms in the past week.

It honestly feels like I was living in a time when people believed the world was flat. But through observation and experience you discover the world is round. Not only that, you determine the Earth orbits around the Sun, not visa versa.

You think you might be crazy because nobody else f~~~ing thinks that. But then you stumble on a website with an intelligent group of people that already know all of that. Furthermore they already know the circumfrence and mass of the Earth, the orbits of the other planets and Einstein’s general theory of relativity.

That is how finding MGTOW and this site feels to me.

"You don't know a woman till you have met her in divorce court."

[CPT ObviousParticipant 2729]

Smitty the Great One wrote:

S~~~ Capt. don’t sweat having her living their, just remember you need to keep a strong pimphand.If she flakes, kick her on down the street. There will be another female coming along in 15 minutes, she’ll do some freaky s~~~ too. As long as you let her know her place, you’ll get what you want.

Thanks Smitty.  Your comments are always spot on. I have officially adopted you as a brother from another mother.

"You don't know a woman till you have met her in divorce court."

[CPT ObviousParticipant 2729]

Anonymous wrote:

Hello CPT Obvious glad your here are you Mister Obvious of GLP fame?

Not me. Although this namesake looks like an interesting dude.

"You don't know a woman till you have met her in divorce court."

[Anonymous 0]

Okay Thanks for that yeah I know easy to mistake someone for someone else on the internet!

[harpo-my-“SON”Participant 2410]

Welcome to mgtow. Great intro.  like the others I am looking forward to reading more of your post.

I was bound to be misunderstood, and I laugh at those who misunderstand me. Kind mockery at the well intentioned, but unfettered cruelty towards those would be prison guards of my creative possibilities. This so as to learn as much from misunderstanding as from understanding. Taking pleasure in worthy opponents and making language fluid and flowing like a river yet pointed and precise as a dagger. Contradicts the socialistic purpose of language and makes for a wonderful linguistic dance, A verbal martial art with constant parries that hone the weapon that is the two edged sword of my mouth.

[Author]

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