I’ve been browsing this site along with many other sites for some time and this is one that I seem to enjoy and relate to some of the stories. I guess I’ll give a little background about me and some of my life experiences which have brought me here. I’m 41 years old living in Canada. I’ve had a very hard time in life and relationships and still do to this day. I’m more of a loner and introvert. I have never been married and I don’t have any kids. Frankly it scares the s~~~ out of me but hasn’t stopped me from fishing for that “special” one.
My experience with women takes me back to when I was a kid. I grew up in a religious family (Mormon) and my father was extremely abusive. The abuse continued throughout my life until my mother decided for a divorce which went through the court system for quite some time. This involved police, court appointed interviewers, etc. All this happened up to the age of 12. After my father was gone my mother remarried a man what I guess you all would describe as being beta to the max. Single mom with four kids. The abuse didn’t stop when my father left it continued during my teenage years through the yelling, screaming, manipulating, silent treatment, belittling, etc from my mother. My stepdad was beta all the way through and supported my mother through her child like behaviours and tantrums. Being involved as a Mormon did not help, in fact this added to my difficulties of growing into a man.
I worked hard in my teenage years and saved as much money as I could so that I could get away. And at 20 I did just that by going almost to the other side of the country. I paid my way through school twice with no loans which I am very proud of. I’ve managed to hold a pretty decent job (100k). I’ve been away from home for 21 years and in that time have had no family visits unless I go visit. To say the lack of family relations and support in life has affected my choices in women…lol…well it has.
My first gf that I lived with was a nightmare. At 23-24 something seemed off and eventually admitted to sleeping with two other guys while we were together. I was too blue pilled to ditch the bitch and eventually she left on her own. Dated a bunch after but not much too serious. Then came the single mom who was legally separated going through a divorce. I did everything blue pilled supporting her and her daughter. She wanted marriage and more kids. She was in debt and expected me to pay the bills. I brought up pre-nup and s~~~ hit the fan. Long story short I learned my lesson and will never date a single mom again. Girl I see from time to time now realizes she’s hitting the wall and wants kids, I don’t.
I have had other gf’s along the way which have ended in similar ways. Ultimately my mind and heart say go my own way which I do mostly, but it’s still a struggle to make the choice. Problem I have still at my age is all the crap and lies I’ve been fed about a good woman, I just haven’t found her yet, I gotta keep dating and not give up. I always bought into the “system” when it came to believing that women are special and need protecting and yet subconsciously I have manage to fight it off. I still haven’t fully gone my own way because I still haven’t fully found my ball sack.
Im still fighting the good fight which has been hard for me with my past life experiences. Reading the posted stories helps me realize I’m not alone and it will give me the courage to be my own man and live for me how I want. Thank you everyone for your stories, I read them and feel empathy for you and am thankful that I’ve manage to stave off marriage and kids knowing how our society is.
Crazy Canuck 4 years, 8 months ago.
