It's Not Just About Sex

[Soldier-MedicParticipant 2566]

I’m going to state the obvious to a lot of you and this posting is somewhat long winded but I just wanted to put it out there.  This is not a manifesto, but a critique on media and its condescension towards men and an exploration of the real issues.  I don’t think I’m going to change anything but I believe that establishing common definitions and clarifying ideas leads to more clear communication and expression.  I also just wanted to get this off my chest.

One of the most common threads, if not the most common thread in the discussion of the decay of modern marriage is the act of sex.  In my opinion this comes from the gynocentric writers in the media that want to break down the males lack of satisfaction with their relationships to something that is carnal in nature and represents simplistic thinking.  Also, in my opinion, this is also the chief source of dissatisfaction in the younger MGTOW/MGHOW crowd.

Okay, I think that most of us can place the lack of sex in an established relationship as a primary source of dissatisfaction.
So what is sex?  What is it’s value?  There are many.  Christians taking a second look at the bible will point out that God, after making all things including man and woman, saw that it was ALL good.  Some Christians would further extrapolate that the act of sex between men and women is a form of worship.  He created us the way that we are and to the physical joining of sex is both a blessing and a bond between Him, and man and woman.

So let’s take a look at the preconditions for sex, good sex, to exist in an established relationship.  There has to be a physical and an emotional attraction between both parties.  It has been said that emotional attraction is the larger component when it comes to women but, is is true, if only less so, for men as well.  Take a moment and think back to that woman you were dating or married to and could not find yourself physically attracted to her any more.  Was it because she had gained a hundred pounds?  This is possible, but we can get to that in another posting.  Or was it you found her attitude and demeanor towards you to be so dismissive and caustic that the cheese grater looked better?

When diagnosing an illness, the physician looks for signs and symptoms.  Signs are what the patient tells you and can’t necessarily be measurable.  Pain, dizziness, cramps, etc.  Symptoms are quantifiable.  Blood pressure, heart rate, temperature, x-ray images, etc.  Sex is a sign and a symptom of either a healthy or unhealthy relationship.  It exists because the relationship is healthy and it keeps the relationship healthy.  A circular argument to be sure but I challenge you to find fault with it.

It today’s age, women are being educated not just because they can but because it is necessary.  If a woman chooses to be single for the rest of her life, an education is the surest way to ensuring a steady paycheck.  If a woman chooses to marry, an education is the surest way of guaranteeing an income to support children.  In a relationship in which the man and woman are at least educational and/or financial equals there are two fundamental paths they can follow if it does not end in divorce before “death do us part”.  The first is a relationship that has degenerated in to a purely financial transaction where the sole focus is ensure the development of the children that are almost certain to be a byproduct of the wedding vows.  The second a mutually emotionally, physically, and financially supporting relationship in which raising children is a focus, but the man and woman still make each other a priority so that the wedding vow of “Till death do us part” is a fulfilled promise.

Yes men want access.  The problem is that the word ‘access’ when used in the media and in the blogosphere is solely used to describe the desire for sex.  We also want access to a woman’s time and emotional consideration.  This implies that men also have an emotional spectrum that extends beyond orgasms, football and beer.  Remember, a man also falls in love with the woman.  It is not a lopsided emotional equation.  So when a man is complaining about the lack of sex in a relationship, it if very likely that he is taking issue with the one aspect of the relationship that has an easily measurable component.  Chances are that if there has been no sex for six months, the emotional availability on the part of at least one person in the relationship has been absent for much longer.  When was the last time the couple made out in the kitchen?  Or at least exchanged a degree of physical affection without the woman shutting the man down because the dishes and the laundry have a higher priority.

And I believe that the word ‘priority’ is the real crux of this conversation.  Sex is both of sign and a symptom of the degree of priority that is placed by both parties on each other.

So let’s stop saying that the dissatisfaction that men have in relationships is the lack of sex.  It’s the lack of everything that a woman presented herself as being when the relationship began.  This gives rise to the perception that the woman misrepresented herself from the start, and is enough to make a man want to sue for false advertising.

This is just one aspect why men are going their own way.  Getting used and the perception of getting used.  Women tell us that it’s their perception that matters when it comes to the advent of the rape culture in the US.  Yes means Yes.  Our perceptions that women can be, and largely are, prostitutes and mercenaries has value and is recognizable in the lack of access we are giving women.  And because of this, it is our perception that our time, resources, and money are better spent elsewhere.

"I asked you a question. I didn't ask you to repeat what the voices in you head are telling you" ~ Me. ........Yes I'm still angry.

[Anonymous 1]

For me, my biggest disappointment was on how women see sex. I always considered the sexual act more than just the act in which men and women try to reach orgasm. It was supposed to be something more, a way for both to connect on a deeper level. The creation of a deeper bond, where man opens up to the woman and vice versa. The truth is, WOMEN don’t see it that way. That’s the way they claim to see it, but if you look at how they act, you can see the story is different. They don’t want that connection. They want to be pumped. It doesn’t matter who does it, as long as he is “hot”. So they f~~~ like there is no tomorrow. They do the very thing they accuse men to do: they treat themselves as sexual objects because that’s all they are/ have to offer.

So that’s why I am trying to stop thinking on what a woman wants, when it comes to sex. They operate on the most basic level of the brain. They want to be f~~~ed until they “passed out” and then jump to the next c~~~. So no, it is not just about the sex for MEN, but it is for WOMEN. And that’s why they fail to understand why, after being drilled by so many dicks, there is no good men left that want them. Because whatever “value” the sexual act had with women nowadays, was lost, given away, to the hundreds of “alphas” and “bad boys” the women got in bed with.

And even if you compare these women with men that have lots of sexual partners it still not the same. A man, in order to get laid, has to work out, has to born tall, has to work hard. Women’s standards demand a men to be a freaking movie star to have a bloody chance. A woman, to get laid? Just don’t get fat. Well, NOT EVEN THAT. So where is the value on that? That’s why the bias of “stud” and “slut” exists, and it is, in the end, fair. But women don’t get that, and they never will. They are too busy looking at what THEY WANT instead of what the other side of the equation (MEN) NEED.

That’s why I look for hookers. Despite all the bad, they at least are more honest, and I do have a better chance to express myself (sexual desires) better, without the fear of rejection. It is sad that prostitutes nowadays are far more “reliable” and “honest” then the average woman. And their “mileage” if you think about it, is not too far from the average woman either.

Anyway, just my random thoughts.

Cheers.

[Sky-OParticipant 18966]

I’ve gone MGTOW despite still desiring sex with women, because I came to the conclusion that one of my requirements for having sex with a woman is a mature level of intimacy: which means – monogamy.

And through experience and a significant amount of emotional pain, I learned that women lack the ability to be monogamous.

So, now at this point and with that knowledge. . . . . There is no turning back. MGTOW til’ death.

[Lazarus LongParticipant 365]

Anonymous wrote:

The truth is, WOMEN don’t see it that way. That’s the way they claim to see it

This is yet another time that I see the entire female argument about males for what it is. They do nothing but project their own inadequacies and fears onto men. They lash out at men for sleeping with lots of women and assume that every man does this because it is what they (women) want to do and try to do so they tell themselves and whoever will listen that it is what men do.

They say that men are unfeeling or unable to be emotionally connected because that is how they are. The men here and ones that I know have great powers of empathy and can form real relationships with other people, they have true friendships unlike women who only have frenemies.

Willfully turning aside from the truth is treason to one's self. -Terry Goodkind

[Anonymous 1]

But even a handjob is just too much to ask from some a princess

Well, that’s the point. They like to act like princess in front of you, but they act like sluts behind you back. Just because they are not rubbing you off doesn’t mean a bunch of guys are not getting “lucky”, with more than a hand job, behind your back.

Anyway, what I described is my expectations/realization towards sex. Or at least what I was lead to believe sex was, and what it really is for women. I guess the degree of involvement varies for each one of us and if you are less involved regarding this, considering the current state of affairs, you are a lucky guy.

[SMADParticipant 651]

Handjobs from sluts!  Yay!  really its all i want.

Giving myself a handjob is much more satisfying and disease free!  That and I can be guaranteed 100% satisfaction!

Marriage?  No thanks, i'm not ready to be THAT miserable.

[NeversaydieParticipant 51]

The sad reality fellas is this; there is no emotional connection… its all f~~~ing smoke and mirrors.

I f~~~ every single slut like I am totally in love with them. I do anything in my power to make them feel amazing. I have read every book, watched every video and taken the time to educate myself about sex and be good at it.

I have amazing satisfying sex at least 10 out of my 14 days off when I am not offshore. I enjoy it because afterwards I can watch all six starwars, play starcraft, an leave the seat up with nobody to tell me otherwise… and all my stuff… I get to keep it.

I was a hopeless romantic. I truly love women. I just don’t allow it to be anything more than me telling them whatever lie I think they want to hear and sex.

[Ned TrentParticipant 4894]

Hmm, all very valid points, gentlemen.

Now my own take on it is this (risking to also sound a bit like a chick, but what the hell): People say, that a man generally likes a bit of a chase within the gradual pursuit from the very first eye contact right down until sex.

Well, be that as it may, I’m sure in that regard by unlike what every women claims in a very blunt and undifferentiated way, that all men ultimately just want sex (and no matter how the whole approach to it would look like especially!!!) that point may have to be revised in depth. Since then as some of you might or might not agree with, the amount of the say “pre-chase game” leading to sex most probably actually varies from one man to another or doesn’t it…?

And in that very way it is clearly not the alleged case, that quote on (female) quote all men are just the same, which is the very thing that women “succesfully” fail to see and by doing so have gradually unlearned the skill of truthful and genuine empathy towards men as it seems and in the process degraded their own sex appeal as delicate as it used to be a while ago down to a mere “dead” tool in a way (and we know all too well for what by and large inane purpose).

Reading their own schooling advices on how to thrill a man into relationships or marriages respectively usually points this out: Always give him an un-doubtful reason to demand ever more of you (as a woman) and never ever make him feel too secure about yourself albeit do not overdo it, which is the very part of the advice, that most women increasingly overlook as time goes by in our human history for whatever reason.

In part due to the fact (amongst s~~~loads of other facts) maybe, that women don’t want to be regarded as too easy for men’s above mentioned access. The result of which also being that in this day and age apparently it seems (from the irrational female point of view) that men no longer are supposed to really feel genuinely comfortable in any relationship anymore, merely for that stupidly advised and increasing chase thrill effect sake of it, which only naturally explained, eventually will reach its own boundaries from which point forward its effect (to keep a man interested) is reversing itself. And caught up in our very last resort finally here we all are: (sick and tired) MGTOWS. Quite simple really, when you (logically) think about it right guys…?

 

Ned T.

I'd rather die a natual death with a clear MGTOW conscience somewhere off the grid than one within "modern" civilisation with a big stress mark on my forehead and a couple of dozen tubes plugged into my body. Back to the plantation..? Me..? Hey, literally: I won't ever fucking kid myself...YZERLMNTSIC

[AFTParticipant 2726]

Feminism is the right for women to be promiscuous, so sex is freely available in abundance.  Qualifying for females sexual attention is like buying bottled water, it’s overpriced plain old tap water, you have better options available.  There used to be a good reason for marriage for men and women, an exchange of value, lasting commitment and mutual benefit.  Now the rules have changed, if it weren’t for the strong biological primal nature of men, we would have walked away long ago.  It is our biological nature that let women get away with ever diminishing standards, now the standard modern feminist women have so little to offer that we even fight our nature to avoid their destructive, ugly reality.

On the positive side, I choose to make the best of the current social environment and focus on improving my circumstances.  I no longer chase female sexual attention.  All my effort is on improving my life, and I only drink freely available tap water when it comes to female attention.

When the war cemeteries are half full of the corpses of dead conscripted women, only then will women have earned the right to speak of equality. Sidecar “A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.” - Bob Dylan

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