It’s a long time till Nov. 8, 2017

[Two Time WinnerParticipant 1090]

Just got the court date from my attorney and it is 11/08/17, such a long way off. Divorce filed on 03/28/17. I’m still living in the residence. Wife has quit asking when I am going to move out. The last time she asked I told her that I own just as much of the home as she does and I have no intention of moving out. Also told her my view is if she doesn’t want to live together, she needs to look for somewhere else to live. Not going to establish that I can support two households. All the bills are in my name.

She has not worked for four years and is not looking for a job. She has the same professional qualifications as I do and could earn a good salary. She is just looking for me to support her so she can shop and lunch with her friends. Her mother is 93 and in poor health and she stands to inherit $500,000 in blue chip stocks and certificates of deposit and a $75,000 annual income from rental property. And she wants me to pay her spousal support, the court will probably agree.

She goes back and forth between being just a roommate that is a reasonably nice person to being the bitch from hell. Sometimes in the same day. I quit participating in the arguments and just let her rant and rave while I walk out of the room. When she makes one of her many threats about what she and the legal system will do to me, I just tell her as Rooster Cogburn told Ned Pepper “You do what you think best.”

How have any of you guys made this living arrangement work for six to eight months? My automatic reaction from old habits is to care what she thinks or says. If I can just start to not give a crap about that I should be okay. Have taken a second job so I am gone from 7:00 am to 9:30 pm. She loves to get up just as I am leaving for work and start the bitch routine, has done that ever since she quit work.

TTW

I ain't got a wife to spend my money, I have to do that all by myself.

[Solo MAN’S WisdomParticipant]

Two Time Winner wrote:

Just got the court date from my attorney and it is 11/08/17, such a long way off.

Dude. That’s only weeks away. Get. The. F~~~. Out. Record EVERY conversation with her [especially her ranting/raving].

When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.

[No Ma’amParticipant 212]

Once the decision has been made by either of you to leave. Someone needs to leave pronto! It took my c~~~ 4 weeks to get an apartment after she announced her intention to leave. That time was torture. I spent my evenings hanging out at bars, restaurants, the movies anywhere to avoid seeing her sorry ass and having to listen to her bulls~~~. I would come home at bedtime and crawl into a sleeping bag on the living room sofa. Then, I would get up early, shower, dress and head off to work before she got up most mornings. On weekends, I would hole up in a spare bedroom that I use as my home office.

Be ver careful that she doesn’t try making false domestic violence allegations. As others have said, all she needs to do is make one phone call. Then you’re truly f~~~ed.

"Nobody loves me, but my mother, And she could be jivin` too." - B. B. King

[Two Time WinnerParticipant 1090]

The advice of my attorney runs counter to leaving. His thought process is:

She doesn’t work and you are her sole means of support. If you leave and don’t pay the household bills the court won’t like it and you will pay later.
If you do leave and continue to pay her bills, the court will think you have no problem in supporting two households and will order permanent spousal support.
If you stay, we can get temporary spousal support to give her a short time to get at job. Her mother may pass away before November and that will argue against permanent support as she will have more assets than you.

My thoughts.
She wants the house and I don’t. Will retire in the next one to two years and move out of state. The residence is roughly equal to my retirement account after taxes so is a good swap. Her wanting the house badly gives me some bargaining leverage. She has many friends in the neighborhood.
I am playing the long game here. I’m in my mid-sixties and don’t have time to make up a big financial loss. Temporary pain for long term gain,

I ain't got a wife to spend my money, I have to do that all by myself.

[AwakenedParticipant 35202]

Do EXACTLY what YOUR ATTORNEY Advises !!

If you can get out with your pension intact and maybe even have her “buy you out” of a portion of the house as well as keep your pension then life is good.

Try to make part of the house, your space that you can retreat to for the time being.

Ask your attorney, but doesn’t having a SECOND Job INCREASE the amount of Potential Alimony that you will have to pay ??

Time goes fast, and Nov. will come and go quickly.

You can make it. MANY Men, myself included, endure YEARS with a BITCHY USELESS LAZY WIFE heading for EVENTUAL Divorce.

In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

[Faust For ScienceParticipant 22525]

Solo MAN’S Wisdom wrote:

Dude. That’s only weeks away. Get. The. F~~~. Out. Record EVERY conversation with her [especially her ranting/raving].

I agree. Get out right now. Only communicate by text. Do not personally contact her any of the communications. If you need to contact her do so through your lawyer.

Save every conversation you have with her.

[Can’t Stump TrumpParticipant]

Watch out: she’s going to accuse you of abuse.

Women are better at multitasking? Fucking up several things at once is not multitasking.

[VanXingParticipant 98]

You getting the second job is not a good move. That just increases your income and the judge will think it’s more money to split up or give to her for either child support or alimony.

[RusskyParticipant 13503]

VanXing wrote:

You getting the second job is not a good move. That just increases your income and the judge will think it’s more money to split up or give to her for either child support or alimony.

That’s right. You also might consider quitting your job and finding some low-paying job instead

proud carrier of the 'why?' chromosome

[PuniShredderParticipant 2268]

Why don’t you stay married, draw out the divorce till her mom dies and then your burden will be MUCH less as you will have a right to some of that inheritance?

Be professional be polite but always have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

[Two Time WinnerParticipant 1090]

Second job is few hours part-time, bulk of the income is in unreported cash. Will be very small amount if I have to declare it.

No way to draw the divorce out, she is pushing hard. I was just waiting until the mother in law passed but she must of thought of that too and decided now is the time. She is lazy and greedy, wants every dime I have, and thinks she will get it.

My attorney is not in a rush and taking his time to do all that is required. At this point I don’t really give a s~~~ about any money except for my retirement account. That and a half of our mutual investment account will take care of me. I just cannot be paying spousal support forever, that is my big fear. Per my attorney I have no rights to the inheritance, it would just be a justification for me not to pay support.

TTW

I ain't got a wife to spend my money, I have to do that all by myself.

[RusskyParticipant 13503]

if she’s greedy – try to settle with her outside of court for a big lump sum. I remember someone here wrote about it

proud carrier of the 'why?' chromosome

[OldBillParticipant]

Two Time Winner wrote:

The advice of my attorney runs counter to leaving.

Listen to your lawyer.

While false claims about domestic violence are a concern, you can buy a body camera or use your phone to lessen the threat.

Walking away from her whenever she starts ranting is the best idea. Simply don’t engage with her on any level at all.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[narwhalParticipant]

Yes, listen to your lawyer. Leaving is just going to cost you money. I would think if she’s going to make a false claim, she would have done it already.

I am not sure how it works where you live, but for me, asset division took place at the time of separation, not the divorce. In other words, you aren’t separated now, so if her mom passed today, the $500k would be part of the marital property. You want to stay for leverage.

It sounds to me like you are in a good place to settle out of court, since time is on your side. I’d talk to your lawyer about that. I don’t know what level of money we are talking about, but it sounds like you would be ok if you just left with your pension intact, no spousal support. Maybe have your lawyer negotiate with that to her lawyer. It benefits her to take that deal, or some near version of that.

Ok. Then do it.

[Two Time WinnerParticipant 1090]

My wife and I previously agreed on ending the marriage due to irreconcilable differences. This supposes she doesn’t change her mind and gets into her bitch mode, which she has been in lately. If we do agree, we go to mediation to divide the marital assets. Presuming everything is worked out, then the court just rubber stamps our agreement. My attorney says her financial report is due at the end of this month. We then set up a meeting with the arbitrator for June or July. All this has to be worked out or it goes to the judge.

Otherwise one party has to establish fault and the court divides the assets if we can’t agree. Her attorney is encouraging her to throw dirt on me to get more money. With her attorney’s encouragement she is also going to push for a lot of spousal support due to her being lazy and not having a job. I’ll not agree to that so things may blow up.

TTW

I ain't got a wife to spend my money, I have to do that all by myself.

[TicParticipant 4329]

Awakened wrote:

Do EXACTLY what YOUR ATTORNEY Advises !!

If you can get out with your pension intact and maybe even have her “buy you out” of a portion of the house as well as keep your pension then life is good.

Try to make part of the house, your space that you can retreat to for the time being.

Ask your attorney, but doesn’t having a SECOND Job INCREASE the amount of Potential Alimony that you will have to pay ??

Time goes fast, and Nov. will come and go quickly.

You can make it. MANY Men, myself included, endure YEARS with a BITCHY USELESS LAZY WIFE heading for EVENTUAL Divorce.

I agree with this. listen to your lawyer. Stay, it’ll pay off at the end.

God bless peace and freedom.

[Two Time WinnerParticipant 1090]

Well you guys called it. She began discussing the financial forms she has to complete and asked a couple of quesitons. After that she said she thinks she will not agree to irreconcible diffiences but will prove inappropriate marital conduct by me. Said her attorney says this means more money for her. I was unfaithful one time last August, alcohol got the better of me and I made a huge mistake. We had sexual relations after that which constitutes forgiveness in this state and so adultery can’t be used as grounds for divorce. She denied the relations took place.

She then began to say she doesn’t “feel sale” with me living in the house with her. I told her I have never layed a finger on her and she no reason for that. She said she doesn’t know what depraved sex I might engage in and that would somehow make her “unsafe” That makes no sense to me so I left the room as I was becoming angry.

Emailed my attorney and should get a phone call from him tomorrow. Looks like I am in for a down and dirty fight from a angry, bitter, vindictive bitch.

I ain't got a wife to spend my money, I have to do that all by myself.

[Pedal, run, rowParticipant]

The games have begun.
If anything you eat or drink tastes off… be very careful.

Where do you live? Doesn’t your state do no fault divorce? Most of them do now.
Her lawyer is setting this up for a battle and a lot of legal fees for both of you, which mean for you…

[AutoliteParticipant]

Can’t Stump Trump wrote:

Watch out: she’s going to accuse you of abuse.

OldBill wrote:

While false claims about domestic violence are a concern, you can buy a body camera or use your phone to lessen the threat.

We can assume that a false assault accusation is definitely in her plans. What do the lawyers say about CYA? Will a body cam be legal? Will it be enough???

[OldBillParticipant]

As Pedal, Run, Row correctly explained, her lawyer has opened the playbook, coached her up, and planning on f~~~ing you good and hard.

You need to get together with your lawyer immediately. Not a phone call, a face-to-face meeting.

I forgot to provide this link in my first post:

realworlddivorce DOT com

It’s a site put together by various academics and legal pros. You can read their resumes at the site. There’s a huge general information section dealing with all the dirty tricks divorce lawyers and their female client use. There’s also a section containing specific information for every US state and several foreign countries.

Forewarned is forearmed. Go to that site, read everything there, and get yourself prepared.

Good luck.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

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