Is it really that necessary to beat children?

[hellraiderParticipant 2837]

No, you dont have to beat kids.

What you need to do to kids is operative conditioning, like b.f. skinner discovered.

You train kids to behave like you train a young dog.
Positive reward if they follow what you show them, no reward if they dont comply.

Beating up kids doesnt work, they just try to avoid the physical pain.
What you need to associate in their minds is good behavior=lots of praise, attention, rewards.

When they make mistakes, TALK TO THEM so you make them realize what they did wrong.

Kids need to be taught to think for themselves, they need to learn to control bad impulses not because the big bad parent will hurt them, but because they realize its wrong.

Lets face it, beating kids up leads to adolescent violence and antisocial behaviour.

First and foremost, you need to teach kids, not to punish them.

[OldBillParticipant]

There’s a great difference between a beating and a slap or swat.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[chirParticipant]

My father would discipline not beat. If it was minor f~~~up I got this.

If I was a major screw up I got grounded and he piled the chores on me.

I think of it this way:
“Never forget that the child you being violent with will be the one choosing your nursing home when you are old.”

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion, it is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning; it is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

[OldBillParticipant]

Chir, that’s exactly what I got when I screwed up; a dope slap to get my attention and a healthy dose of hard work.

My mother’s preferred punishment was a time out. Not the useless modern time outs where a child is sent to a bedroom with a computer, TV, and metric tons of toys either. My siblings and I would have to sit at the kitchen table, perfectly still, and in silence while a kitchen timer ticked down the minutes.

Believe me, I would have chose the slap/swat over the kitchen timer every time.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[Anonymous 42]

No s~~~ OldBill, My Grandmother used the stove timer! My Mom would give us crappy jobs made up out of nowhere!
They cared about us, not like today’s mushmind narcissistic females that only care about themselves…

The most toxic and destructive form of female to ever exist is NOW.

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

“There are two things a bachelor hates to see: Children being spanked. And children not being spanked.”
— P.J. O’Rourke, The Bachelor Home Companion

My personal opinion is that it’s not anyone else’s business to tell a parent how to raise their own child. And it shouldn’t be a parent’s business to tell me to pay for their own child. Raise them how you like, but pay for them yourself.

[Anonymous 11]

I deserved ten times over every ounce of corporal punishment I ever received as a child. My mother would make me pick my very own custom ligustrum tree branch switch or use her wooden spoon.

My father was more insidious. He would either confine me to my room for a week or put me in forced labor for any major transgressions . He knew my love of roaming the great outdoors armed with my pellet gun so I would always be miserable as hell. I would have taken an ass whipping any day over that torture.

Beating to the point of injury is wrong. Children have to learn there are consequences for not doing right.

[13-JzzalParticipant 134]

hellraider wrote:

Positive reward if they follow what you show them, no reward if they dont comply.

I would like to add that attention from the parents is probably the best reward.
A lot of children act out because they crave the attention of one or both of their parents but have learned that the best way to get that is to misbehave.

Sweets on the other hand are probably one of the worst kinds of rewards.

[experiencedParticipant]

To this topic in general,
One technique for dealing with the past is, “Would you do that to your own kids?”
Or, “What would happen to someone whom you caught doing that to your child?”
[Crap, I’ll have to think of that one before attempting my next max lift.]
Another effective one: Never describe what happened first person. Rather, tell what happened to “a friend of yours growing up” being careful to distance the narrative.
That way you get objective opinions.

I’ve seen too many fine successful men who “got there” WITHOUT the,”and I wouldn’t be the man I am today had it not been for that.” “That” being this topic.
It’s the same brand of s~~~ that weak wives say, “behind every successful man is a pushy c~~~.”

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[QuietlyquietlyParticipant 728]

13-Jzzal wrote:

hellraider wrote:

Positive reward if they follow what you show them, no reward if they dont comply.

Sweets on the other hand are probably one of the worst kinds of rewards.

I once promised my two that if they were REALLY GOOD for an hour (they were being brats, inside, on a rainy day), that I’d take them both to the hardware store and they could each pick A CARDBOARD BOX. You have NEVER seen kids behave that well, I swear. Cardboard box wins every time.

[RennieParticipant]

For us growing up it was spankings, rulers to the hands, sometimes sent to room, sometimes tied to chair in the kitchen. In South America kids that are bad get belted too and I don’t see any reason why they shouldn’t be.

If I had kids they would be getting corporal punishment too. But not beating them within an inch of their life.

Child care should be handled as the parents see fit. The government needs to keep it’s hands off.

[OhnoParticipant 668]

OldBill wrote:

There’s a great difference between a beating and a slap or swat.

chir wrote:

My father would discipline not beat. If it was minor f~~~up I got this.( VIDEO )

A little slap…to remind that this isnt the way to behave ( and so on )… as a tool of guidance.
If “a little slap” would be understood as a gesticultation to express what is meant (short reminder )…then it makes sence.

But the kind of beating as OP described… horrible…horrible…
These parents are dumb and without a clue of wtf they are doing there.

[Anonymous 42]

Anonymous wrote:

or use her wooden spoon.

Hey C-Pig, I got the wooden spoon too! That’s the “sting” I’m talking about! It’s still fresh in my mind!

[Anonymous 11]

Wooden spoons do give a very nice sting. I still have that spoon too.

My mom could control me by threatening with either switch or spoon. Like I said I deserved every whipping I ever got in spades. I am a major nonconformist and was a very devious troublemaker as a child.

Back then we feared our school teachers as corporal punishment was in the schools even the public ones. Now the teachers fear the students.

Child abuse and corporal punishment are not even in the same ballpark.

[OhnoParticipant 668]

wanna go back to this old was better than new kind of stuff? really?

[Anonymous 11]

Newer is not necessarily better.

I’ve had public school teachers actually tell me they fear their students.

In my day, my parents would take the word of my teacher over my sorry lying ass. Today’s parents will sue the schools simply for anything. Cultural decay is rampant.

I was raised to be accountable for my actions and held to it by both of my parents and teachers working as a team to mold me. In the modern US, parents take the side of their little precious heathens automatically. Private schools can kick out unruly students. Public schools do not have that luxury.

[Crazy CanuckMember 4215]

Spanking children never works. When a child gets the most attention they will keep doing the same thing to get that attention. It’s the same reason women will continue to be in a relationship with an abusive partner.
Patience and reasoning works a lot better.

"If pussy was a stock it would be plummeting right now because you've flooded the market with it. You're giving it away too easy." - Dave Chapelle

[RennieParticipant]

Anonymous wrote:

Newer is not necessarily better.

I’ve had public school teachers actually tell me they fear their students.

In my day, my parents would take the word of my teacher over my sorry lying ass. Today’s parents will sue the schools simply for anything. Cultural decay is rampant.

I was raised to be accountable for my actions and held to it by both of my parents and teachers working as a team to mold me. In the modern US, parents take the side of their little precious heathens automatically. Private schools can kick out unruly students. Public schools do not have that luxury.

Yup, teachers had authority back then. In school I never dared talk back to any of my teachers. I usually listened when told to do something. Any attempt to deviate from this resulted in being swiftly brought to heel.

When we got it from our parents, we usually learned not do whatever it was we did, again. I don’t find myself resentful of them for it either. I’m thankful they did.

[VarunParticipant 2981]

OldBill wrote:

There’s a great difference between a beating and a slap or swat.

I agree to that. A spank or a swat would be ok to ‘shock’ the misbehaving child back into consciousness, but physical abuse in the name of corporal punishment is so vehemently wrong.

I had two instances when the teachers at my school beat me up, just 3 years apart. The first one beat me because I was too excited once and were making other kids laugh by making faces. I got a good remember-it-forever smack of a wooden ruler on my back. That brought me back to my modesty. But when I look back now, I don’t hate this teacher. She just taught me that I should comply to the rules of the classroom, in a way, set me in the right direction.

The other one, though, wow! Eyes like the devil and a face that woud literally give heart attack to the weak-hearted; she made me put out my hand and kept smacking it with full force until it was blood red and I was crying…. and all of that for what? Because I didn’t do my homework?

She coud have just complained to my parents, or the principal…. I wouldn’t have minded getting expelled for not doing my homework. But she had no right to beat me so badly for such a vague mistake as forgetting homework. She never even acknowledged me when I did something worth of praise … the other teachers did that. I think she plainly hated me just ’cause I belonged to a group of delinquent boys. So did she set me straight? No, she just left a bad mark on my childhood. For that reason, I don’t think I can never forgive her.

Rennie wrote:

ChauvinistPig wrote:

Newer is not necessarily better.

I’ve had public school teachers actually tell me they fear their students.

In my day, my parents would take the word of my teacher over my sorry lying ass. Today’s parents will sue the schools simply for anything. Cultural decay is rampant.

I was raised to be accountable for my actions and held to it by both of my parents and teachers working as a team to mold me. In the modern US, parents take the side of their little precious heathens automatically. Private schools can kick out unruly students. Public schools do not have that luxury.

Yup, teachers had authority back then. In school I never dared talk back to any of my teachers. I usually listened when told to do something. Any attempt to deviate from this resulted in being swiftly brought to heel.

When we got it from our parents, we usually learned not do whatever it was we did, again. I don’t find myself resentful of them for it either. I’m thankful they did.

I won’t say you are wrong. But you also have to consider the fact that teachers were people who meant good for you even if he beat you back and blue. If you ever have a bad memory of a punishment, you have an equally good memory where he/she had said “You’re right” or at least acknowedged you that you are ‘not bad for an instance’. You don’t find those qualities today. Now-a-days not evey teacher ‘mean well’.

I’ll give you an example to cite my point of view: Our elementary school principal was a naval officer who ensured strict discipline in school. He used to have a big cane and he bashed people whenever they broke the rules. He sure got into a lot of trouble with the police and authorities. That might look like abuse to you… but let me tell you he was never hated. Feared, yes, but not hated by his students who later grew up to be respectable people and commemorated his death 2 years ago.

What was the difference between the teacher I had mentioned above and the principal? Just one, he didn’t plainly hate us for no reason. Also, whenever he beat up a big kid, he woud follow-up with a speech of what was done wrong and how doing it right would make everyone better people. He didn’t become a symbol of abuse, rather he became a role model.

What some people don’t know is that if you’re not just in your punishments, one day that child would grow up and start hating you. They neglect that fact.

My mother beat me up bad to the point where I would bleed. But she always came back to nurse my wounds and tell me how much she loved me, so I didn’t grow up hating her.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

[HitmanParticipant]

i might be the “hitman” but i condemn hitting children 110%.
NEVER ACCEPTABLE.
reason, explaining and taking their beloved toys away for a few days..
NEVER hit a kid.what i went through as a kid was bad.real bad .
i SWORE and have held this to be gospel truth ,hitting a child teaches them WRONG.
hitting is outlawed in my house.NO ONE is allowed to hit.
no matter what .
if you hit a child it’s because you do not have the ability to make sense to that child.
if your not smarter than your kid and you have to hit them,you don’t DESERVE to have them.
if someone else hit my child they would have the very deepest regrets bestowed into them by me.
it would be the HEIGHT of hypocrisy for ME to strike at my own flesh and blood.
hitting a kid is the worst lesson you can teach them..
that the MIND can be controlled with violence.
…………………………………………………………………………i would hit any man that struck me.a few bitches got that “dope smack ” upside the head,after THEY attacked FIRST. never a child.
IF there is a place called HELL,hitting a child will put you FIRST IN LINE to get in !
Jesus said ” whoever does harm to one of these little one’s,would be better off to have a mill stone tied to them and cast in to the deepest ocean “

[Author]

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