Is it healthy to stay focused on this stuff?

[coolsideofthepillowParticipant 190]

Hey guys,I have been a MGTOW for almost a decade now. I stay away from relationships and never plan on getting married. Unlike many other MGTOW dont even desire to have one night stands or any kind of sexual interaction with women. I never knew about MGTOW as a group though until about 2 weeks ago. since then I have been amazed and enlightened at the amount of great information all of you guys have brought to the table and it has solidified the beliefs I’ve always had even further. In my time of watching countless videos and non stop hours of of studying the facts that MGTOW from around the world have put together I have found myself in a darker place than I was a few weeks ago. I understand its very important that men know these facts about the reality were all faced with but my question is should we continue to stay focused on this stuff so much once we realize the truth?? Since finding MGTOW none of my life habits have changed as far as women are concerned because they have already been removed from my life, but now I find myself focusing on women much more than I have in years!! its like the bad behavior of women is effecting my mental state and keeping me from focusing on things that are way more important in my life even when there aren’t any women in my life! So my question to you guys is when does the study of the male/female relationship become just as much of a hinderance to getting things done in your life than actually being in a relationship? I find that when I read and study tons of stuff where women screw over men I am having some of the same emotions pop up as if it were actually happening to me! and Ive worked hard to completely remove these emotions from my life and don’t want them being brought back up in any way shape or form. So when do you think the discussions and topics MGTOW focus so much attention on hurt you instead of help you? Is there a point where people should consider cutting themselves off from these types of discussions and get on with going there own way?

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

I’ve heard research suggesting that support groups wherein individuals share their negative experiences can be beneficial for internalizing and processing those experiences as well as learning new skills to move forward and avoid future negative experiences. I like that aspect of the MGTOW community.

I’ve also heard research suggesting that excessive dwelling on negative experiences underscores the pain of those experiences and can prevent people from moving past the negative experiences into a more positive future. I think there is a real chance of this happening within a message board like this one as well.

So it’s up to us individually to decide whether we’re in a state where we need to share our experiences as part of the process of accepting them and letting them go or whether we’re just wallowing in self pity and anger. That’s an awareness that each of us needs to come to for ourselves.

Having said all that, I think it’s unrealistic to suggest that we’re going to suddenly not care about females any more and never mention them again. I personally don’t think that’s a particularly healthy or sustainable position, regardless of your personal mindset or experiences. So I’m all for ongoing discussions of females and their actions and ideals, as well as discussions about cars, sports, politics, cooking, art and everything else that’s of interest to men.

If mgtow.com becomes all about female bashing and pickup techniques, those of us who see the broader picture will drift off… so it’s up to each of us to post meaningful content and if a thread gets too bitter and angry, just let it die and the community will police itself.

[coolsideofthepillowParticipant 190]

I would say that it honestly is possible to not care about females and never bring it up. Probably not for most people that have already had there life severely altered by them in divorces and having kids, but there are those of us that saw this coming from a early age and avoided all the major pitfalls other than a few failed relationships. I am a MGTOW “ghost” meaning I have pretty much removed myself from society and never really see women at all except for my mom and grandmother that I have a good relationship with.I am also a christian that strictly follows what the book says so that means I don’t spend time fantisizing and masturbating either…I think that’s a big key to completely removing women from your mind…you cant completely get rid of something if you mentally toy with it everyday by masturbating. Its a really hard one to get out of your life but if you choose to take it that far you would be amazed at how good it works. That’s why I find for me this stuff has been helpful in that it has shown me new facts but it has also been hurtful because it has drawn me mentally back into a world I’ve already escaped from….If you really want women completely gone from your life you have to make sure none of your thoughts ever get on the subject…its like rewiring your brain. When you stay focused on topics that deal with women its impossible to ever do that…I know I am definitely extreme and this doesn’t apply to most MGTOW but I just wanted to put it out there in case there’s anyone out there like me.

[AFTParticipant 2722]

I’ve had the same thought, and it was pointed out to me that the forum is helpful for newly red pilled men rather than someone like yourself almost a decade in red pill reality.  It does beg the question, for me at least, where to go for support in terms of a more positive red pilled MGHOW life strategies advice etc.  But I think MGTOW is based on individuality and each to their own.

I’m just starting so it is still a big adjustment, but it is definitely worth the while.  Already feeling more at peace standing up for myself and rejecting the blue pill.  MGTOW sort of equates to non conformist so to list a bunch of philosophies to conform to would be hypocritical.  I get where you are coming from, I suppose reality is a negative place, and feeling down about it is natural.

Wish I had you’re commitment to be able to cut all women out for 10 years, what tips do you have?

I’m focusing on career work money, but still need some hobby interest to take my mind off things at home.

When the war cemeteries are half full of the corpses of dead conscripted women, only then will women have earned the right to speak of equality. Sidecar “A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.” - Bob Dylan

[coolsideofthepillowParticipant 190]

Well it wasn’t always easy for me and the first few years I definitely wanted to find a NEWALT. I just kind of had the perfect circumstances to do what Ive done, I can definitely see why a lot of people arent able to do it and I consider myself very lucky. As for hobbies I do alot of outdoor stuff, I am really into survivalism and practice all kinds of outdoor skills. I have animals and that gives me a lot of companionship. I spend a lot of time studying topics that interest me. I am also a artist and I do bodywork/paint cars and do a lot of wood working, I also work out a lot. You will spend a lot of time bored out of your mind on the brink of insanity for awhile, Im not going to lie lol, but eventually you just keep on finding things that you like to fill your day up and you’ll have tons of things to do after a few years. Its sucks starting out with a blank slate, but if you are strict on yourself and have a lot of self discipline you can avoid all the things in life you need to avoid and you will naturally fill your life up with things you like.

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

I would say that it honestly is possible to not care about females and never bring it up. Probably not for most people that have already had there life severely altered by them in divorces and having kids, but there are those of us that saw this coming from a early age and avoided all the major pitfalls other than a few failed relationships.

For context, I am 46, never married, no children, self-employed since the age of 18, got a vasectomy at 30 and have had sex with hundreds of different females. So when you talk about seeing this coming and avoiding the major pitfalls, I think I’ve managed that part pretty well. What makes us different, perhaps, is our sex drives. I’m not avoiding female bulls~~~ out of pain but out of a desire to keep my mind clear and focused on my own happiness… part of which is having sex with beautiful females. Your experience is clearly different but I have no interest in avoiding females.

Having said that, I don’t think even a level 4 MGTOW ghost could possibly not care about females and never bring them up unless they literally avoided interaction with females entirely, or deleted the outcomes of those interactions from their memory after the fact. But here’s my point… total avoidance is itself a form of attachment. Show me a man who has zero interaction with and absolutely nothing to say about females and I’ll show you a man who is spending a LOT of time and effort trying to avoid them.

[нσтησσвParticipant 830]

Everything in moderation 😛

I come to this MGTOW forum to learn, help, and support MGTOW in general – and sometimes vent a bit 😛 i spend on average maybe 30 minutes a day thinking / talking / writing about this stuff, the rest of the time i’m focused on making money / starting up my new business, playing video games, or chillaxin \w friends & family.

When i first came around to MGTOW, i really needed to vent, was quite focused on women / mgtow, but after i found the answers that i needed, things started to settle down.

I suspect your in a near by boat; just give it some time, find your answers, create your own MGTOW view, and lastly live life the way that you want to.
You may want to have nothing to do \w MGTOW, you may just want to obsesses over it 24/7, or you may just decide to lurk on the forums every once in a while to show your support and to learn something new 🙂

Becoming MGTOW is sort of similar to the 5 stages of grieving 😛 After all, we all lost our belief, hopes and trust in women 😛

My Goal: To Leave Society.

[DybbukParticipant 182]

It may seem unhealthy, because the people who talk the most on forums are usually the ones with the biggest ax to grind or who are most fanatical (i.e. “can’t change their mind and won’t change the subject”). But that’s true of most interest groups. The internet chatter never comes from a representative cross section of the group, which has the potential to make valid interests seem pathological.

 

[In Which We ServeParticipant 111]

This is something I’ve been thinking about as I’m very into positive thinking (old school stuff like Orison Swett Marden, Samuel Smiles and Dale Carnegie). A lot of MGTOW stuff is very negative and angry about women and relationships. Now that’s understandable, as anger is a part of the waking up process from blue-pill thinking, but in the long term, it’s not good to wallow in negativity because you end up bitter and get into confirmation biased and stereotyped thinking.

One thing I find useful is to read self help/positive thinking books which are old, from before the modern obsession with romantic relationships as the solution to all ills. The Victorians, I think, had a more realistic (not necessarily healthy, though) attitude to marriage etc. They knew ‘self fulfillment’ doesn’t come from a relationship with a woman, it comes from self-knowledge, and a relationship with God (as you understand Him) or, if you don’t like religion, a belief in a higher philosophical power.

[Deus Ex MachinaParticipant 1068]

I come to this MGTOW forum to learn, help, and support MGTOW in general – and sometimes vent a bit i spend on average maybe 30 minutes a day thinking / talking / writing about this stuff, the rest of the time i’m focused on making money / starting up my new business, playing video games, or chillaxin \w friends & family.

 

Took the words right outta My Mouth Bud. It’s important to have an active personal life, both mentally and physically.  I do Ocean activity, motorcycle riding, hiking as well as Carpentry,  having fun and enjoying life, reading tons of books, Listening to old Vinyl, traveling to new places. If I didn’t, I’d go nuts – Take it from Me Bro, Women will drive you nuts no matter what.

Which is why it’s important not to let it bother you.

 

I come here because I want to help the next guy. Everyone of these guys have something to offer, as well as a great personal story, or experience.  This place, is also operated by a pretty solid dude, that dude is Keymaster. Not to brag, but the knowledge that Guy drops is pretty damn amazing in My opinion, and useful – Which is why I enjoy this site, it’s operated the right way.

I’ve been to other MGTOW forums, which are good in their own right. But here, I notice Men share a lot more about some deep, VERY deep personal experiences as well as past relationships. I was in an abusive Marriage, I was stabbed with scissors and a knife on separate occasions, I was punched repeatedly once while sleeping, not only that but $20,000+ was stolen from my personal bank account (money I worked My ass off for), given to My Wife’s Lover, yeah talk about never trusting Women again.

 

I couldn’t tell My Family or My Friends, could they understand?, No they couldn’t. Why not?, because they’ve never been through it, they don’t know what it’s like to be with a complete nut case. A vast majority of my Male friends have been alienated from Me by their Wives because I’m a “Threat”, (an actual quote told to Me by a long time friend, from His wife), not only that but I was told:

“And you’re not allowed to speak to My Husband ever again“.

 

Why?, the Married Female sees us as a negative influence over their slave (Husband), Married Females HATE us with a passion – Seeing us free, no women, no kids, just living FOR US!.
I see My Married buddies working a job they hate, stressed out beyond belief, pleasing a Wife who doesn’t give two s~~~s and will probably end up cheating, getting Vaginamony, and their Kids being raised by some asshole step-father.

 

You have Faith in Christianity, that’s good Bro. Stay close to the good Book, read it, study it. Survival skills?, that’s fricken awesome dude!, useful as well!. Animals are more loyal then Women, believe me.  It boils down to what makes YOU happy. MGTOW is about going deep within oneself, pulling out the strengths and killing the weaknesses.  I know that sounds kinda Zen like, But it’s true. Since I’ve been here hashing things out?, I feel great because it was boiling inside of Me for a very long time. I don’t have to pay a therapist an ungodly amount of money, and told to take pills I don’t need to treat “Depression”. All I need is Red Pill.

I wish you the best, Bud. Stay strong and focused.

 

"If You have the Tooth of a Whale, You must have the Whale's Jaw to hold it". (i.e. One Must have the right qualifications for leadership) -Hawaiian Proverb

[jambearParticipant 282]

I enjoys spending time here not for the negativity but the comradery. Hate of not only woman but of anything is poison and will eventually eat you from the inside out. I read the stories posted here and if I have something to contribute I will. If I need advice I know I can come here and get some genuine and intelligent advice.

The anger is naturally present when you first take the red pill, only an insane man could not be mad when the veil lifts and he finally sees the world for what it is and how the world in particular females view him.

As for the negative threads and content. I see that as people venting long held emotions for maybe the first time in their life and when something has been held in for that long all you can do is stand back and wait for them to fully vent.

I know for me at the age of 28 I do not want to ghost just yet, I do not want a long term or short term relationship. I do not want female friends, but the things I want to achieve my goals in life I very much have to be in society for the next 20 years at least. This means like it or not I will have to be in contact with females. Truth be told I am not a particularly strong man and my worst fear is that I will lose resolve give into my biology and let a succubi steal my mana. Even if I do not post everyday I definitely come here everyday to strengthen my resolve.

I short, my anger may have brought me here but I stay for the comradery.

 

[John DoeParticipant 743]

This post probably would have been a better intro than the one I posted, however I think it applies better to this thread.

When I first discovered MGTOW it was on a different/extinct forum a few years ago.  Because it put words to my observations and helped me vent my anger at the time, I posted a lot and spent a lot of free time there.  A few years later, I find these forums and now I post an opinion or comment every 2-3 days.  After a while you get over some things.

In highschool I new about the sluttery of most girls so I didn’t date much (even though I could have and a lot people assumed I did) because  it was against my Christian faith and would cause a lot of problems (unplanned pregnancy, etc.)  Even when a girl was flirting with me heavily, or even said “I love you” in the back of my mind I always thought “You are running off of emotion, you don’t know what you are talking about.”

Eventually my junior year of college I fell in “love” with a girl.  I had a fair number of women want me, however this one was the one I wanted out of all of them.  In the back of my mind, I said to myself that if this relationship lasted to 6 months I would marry her.  Long story made real short:  I thought she was “different”, only to find that she was the same if not worse than all the others I knew.  Although I was going MGTOW most of my life, that was the red pill that really sent me over the edge and made me question what the hell was wrong with society.  It isn’t always the complex relationships in life that can change a man’s view.  Often times it is the simple ones.

I was really p~~~ed at the time because I felt screwed out of a future and I had control over nothing.  I had no rights, no power, no place as a man in society.  I never slept around, always did the right thing, worked hard in school, and this is how I was rewarded by my fellow man?  I knew if I lost it, that is what people would want and I would lose.   I put that energy into working out and at times got my heart rate to 240 bpm.   Sometimes I went into fits of anger and bent a steering wheel out of shape, broke a punching bag, or punched through a glass window only to get stitches.  That was not healthy.  I would mouth off to feminist professors and fellow students often.

I was real angry because I went to college (when I didn’t want to go) to please my parents (who I can barely relate to anymore) to get a job (I had little interest in) because at the time I wanted a wife and a family only to find that I was chasing a ghost.

I was p~~~ed off about what was expect of me, how I was treated, the injustice against myself and men as a whole in society, my/our lack of place in society, my s~~~ty jobs I got from a college education that screwed me financially, that I was disposable to society and to women, how all the work I put in was a waste time and energy, the shaming language from women, the behavior of women towards me and others, double standards, how the angrier I got the more women flocked to me, etc.   To put it simply, I was p~~~ed off about everything.  I always tried to do the “right thing” and I got f~~~ed in the ass for it.

A  year later I found the old MGTOW forums.  The MGTOW forums help with processing a lot of those emotions through knowledge and simple emotional venting.  I think they are necessary in that aspect.  But they did help reinforce some of that anger. However, that can be a good things.

Long story short, I got kicked off the old forums and stopped posting for a few years.  I found these forums by accident and decided to join to keep my mind active through expressing my opinions, experiences, etc.  I am here for mental exercise more than anything, but you are right in that dwelling on old experiences can be harmful.  However if you dwell on them enough you eventually put them in perspective and get over it.  My observation is the only way to deal with a problem is to embrace it until either you or it wins.  The red pill is as bitter as it is sweet, and these forums help administer it like a medicine to new guys.  The best medicine often times tastes horrible.

I am doing a lot better now because I know a lot more.  I don’t fall for some of the mistakes I used to make and have a different view of the world.  I appreciate the simple things more and in a sense am more free than I have been in a long time.  I am free from the lies that were trying to enslave me.  I am doing better financially.  I have more fun when around people because I literally don’t give a s~~~ about anything anymore..  Sometimes despair can be a gift when you place hope in the wrong things.

 

P.S. If these forums bring out the worst in you, then just leave.  That is part of being a MGHOW.  You don’t owe us anything.

[SoldanoParticipant 108]

YOu don’t have to focus on the “women are evil”part !
I think it’s more about: ok i realise women are women and are not gonna change,
where do i move from here, and what does that mean for me in my personal life and as a group.

For everyone being MGTOW means something different.
My take is not to remove women from my life but i changed the way i looked at them and interact.
From my mum to my ex, i just stopped treating them as regular human beings.
I don’t try to have conversations or arguments, i ignore their bulls~~~ as much as possible,
and generally that resulted in cutting 90% of the crap and drams out of my life.

In a very ironic fashion, feminist have been telling me not to treat women as objects for 30 years and the day i turned 31, i realised that the only way to deal with their bulls~~~ is to stop treating them like (the radical notion that women are) people.
It’s like cats, they don’t give a s~~~ about you but they make you think they do.

And in a way, we don’t really have to give a s~~~ either.

I just don’t get involved emotionnally, i treat them with pragmatism and use logic and reason,
knowing full well that i can’t expect them to do so.
Now i try to have a “no bulls~~~” mentality, but that’s mostly for myself.
I believe that’s how our grandfathers managed to deal with them.
By deemphasizing the importance of their feelings and needs.

At the end of the day it’s more pathetic for them than it is for me.
Men sure are losing the battle, but these women are digging their own graves and throwing away everything that our civilisation had built since christ.

[Deus Ex MachinaParticipant 1068]

give into my biology and let a succubi steal my Mana.

 

As a half Polynesian, I couldn’t agree with You more Jambear!.

"If You have the Tooth of a Whale, You must have the Whale's Jaw to hold it". (i.e. One Must have the right qualifications for leadership) -Hawaiian Proverb

[games are for girlsParticipant 13]

Definitely not health but its a good idea to have a bit of support from blokes who understand and can sympathise, its not a character trait we look for in friends so this site helps. As for mgtow, its probably a good idea to have a life theology concerning females and relationships.
For me, I see a females as a construct of the environment in which they are produced. This feminist issue we have is the fault of the generations before ours and our fault for maintaining this one. We are but passengers on a ride that the rich and powerful elite control. we cannot alter that which we have no control. So fixating on man and woman’s discrepancies is essentially pointless until the game is equaled out (man and woman both being in complete control of their own existence) While the elite control all influence (education, media etc) men will continue to be manipulated as will woman. We are both man and woman being stuck with the same red hot poker, its just s~~~ that women seem to get the blunter tip and get to wield the f~~~er to.

[liventhedreamParticipant 42]

I don’t think its healthy at all….the catch is….most men on here are rejects according to how things normally work. I mean some of the people on here (myself included) have had utter destroyed personalities and lives because of “not going our own way” and the “idiot women agenda” that has seen forced on our lives.  The idea that some people exists out in the world with the same problems is comforting.

And that really puts things in perspective, if no-one cares at all about any of us and we are all just over delusional ass-hats….then what the hell and who cares? Its not like bulls~~~ society is forcing on us a daily diet of be a conforming stooge. So people do what they do best, they complain. Hopefully looking for that meaningful “Eureka!” moment.

At least that’s my excuse, and I don’t care at all who has a problem with it.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

I’ll answer with a metaphor which is exactly how I think about it.

Any really good driver’s education course will teach you … to navigate the roads properly (and to remain an accident-free driver), they insist you check your rear-view mirror every 8 seconds. Once every 8 seconds is 7 times per minute. The rest of the time you should also check both rear-view side mirrors too.

Do you “focus” on them? No. It’s not good to focus on them either.

When you’re about to make a lane change…..
You don’t check the blind spot and turn your head to see if another car IS there.
You’re just making sure another car is NOT there.

Most of the time is spent looking 4 car lengths ahead, but you’re not a good driver unless you are completely aware of your surroundings at all times. If you needed to make a quick lane change because the guy in front slammed on the breaks, always avoid being “boxed in” so you can move into another lane right away. When I took my driver’s license course, my instructor would frequently cover the mirror and ask me to tell him the color of the car at my 4 o’clock. or ask me if I saw a motorbike. I also paid to take a “dangerous driving” course… to know how to spin out on wet pavement and in snow.

I remain 100% collision free to this day.
(not just a metaphor)

Same thing with the stock market. Analyzing charts is no way to make a sound investment, but it can help to look at the history. Without knowing it, you’re investing blindly. To be a good driver, it’s not enough to just “be a good driver”, you have to actively practice collision avoidance.

Same thing here. And it applies EXACTLY to navigating the world, the legal and social climate successfully. Getting in your car can kill you. So can a bad relationship or marriage… or even a false rape accusation. None of that will ever happen to me, just like I tell myself I will get where I am going safely in my car today. It’s not too much focus. It’s only what’s NECESSARY.

I’m much more invested, and have to be at this time. That won’t change as long as we are still climbing up hill and have much work to do, but that aside, When preparing material and writing, we see things other don’t see. And we have to LOOK for them. You would be surprised how many drivers DON’T check their rear views often enough. And they don’t signal for the benefit of others either. For this reason, we need to be MORE careful.

The state, your wife, your date, your girlfriend, society, the education system are all driving on the same freeway and they can all kill you. The whole system and roadway is pitted against men and they would love to take you down and see you crash. We are all here out of NECESSITY. It’s quite plainly – survival training of a different kind. The Manosphere is a place where I find my armor, ammunition and the strength to battle on.

We also don’t need to say all of this or write it out in such length. But it’s for the benefit of others. You make an intro, you’re not gonna get a s~~~-ton of replies. You gain strength from saying it in a place where nobody will delete it, and where you’re helping wake one guy up – somewhere across the world. This is a place where you will all read it all and say “s~~~ man, thats exactly what I thought, but I couldn’t put it into words” and we are here to help other men out for a change. It’s time men started doing that for each other. DAMN RIGHT It’s healthy.

But “healthy” for a man is not just about being “healthy”. Men need help to just STAY ALIVE.
That’s the difference between us, and them.

Women blog and gather together to complain about not being “haaaaaaaaaaapy”.
But a man is extremely grateful to be CONTENT.

For men, more effort must be made to remain accident free. It’s just the way the world is.

That takes focus, an extreme amount of awareness and dedication. I think we would much rather spend more time seeing the world exactly as it is – rather than how it is presented to us. If that means you are here more often, then perhaps it’s healthier after all.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[JollyMisanthropeParticipant 3356]

I’d say your reaction is pretty normal. When the fog clears and you see what’s actually going on it’s only natural that you get a little preoccupied with learning more and focusing on that content more.

Eventually things will simmer down a bit and you’ll be able to focus on things that are more constructive and productive. Not that acquiring knowledge doesn’t fall into those categories, but spending a large amount of time fixated on MGTOW topics can be counter-productive when a certain point is reached.

Just remember that MGTOW looks at societies’ expectations for men and says to hell with that. Society doesn’t define us any longer and we have no reason to help keep that system propped up. This includes not having to justify ourselves to anyone and treating any opposition with whatever disdain and mockery we want. Arguing with feminists is a pointless pursuit but mocking their idiocy is always good for a laugh.

The biggest trap is getting bogged down in the mindset of wanting to participate in trying to change how society currently is (MRA’s fall victim to this). Just let the beast devour itself and live your life how you want without feeling any obligation to assist the system that marginalizes men.

The Children of Doom... Doom's Children. They told my lord the way to the Mountain of Power. They told him to throw down his sword and return to the Earth... Ha! Time enough for the Earth in the grave.

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

Well put, KeyMaster. Thank you for that.

[coolsideofthepillowParticipant 190]

I would have to agree with both keymaster and choas, The initial shock of all this is starting to wear off. Its like keymaster said, I always knew this stuff was true, I just never knew the details or heard many other people talking about it. When I found out the details it was no surprise to me and I felt validated for being the way I am. At the same time I was disgusted to know how bad it actually is because its way worse than I ever realized, I always thought it was just the times we are living in and it wasn’t like this for our grandparents and maybe one day it will get fixed. I found out thats completely wrong and this situation has always and always will be f~~~ed up. That kind of shook me up for a little bit but its starting to wear off and I can definitely see the need to stay attentive to this kind of information. I am also amazed and over joyed to see how supportive and great all the guys that are MGTOWS are! I have never found any where else on the internet where people are so helpful and there is almost 0% arguments and regular internet bulls~~~. Just a lot of highly intelligent conversation with a ton of people that are on common ground! That fact alone is enough to make someone want to take part in these forums regularly!

[Author]

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