INtroduction

[IndianajohnParticipant 4]

I’m not sure where to even begin.

I am married for 29 years with two adult children that refuse to leave home. I’ve always suspected the injustices against men were institutional and wide spread. But after discovering MGTOW, I am left with feelings of desolation. My wife is disabled, so if I divorce her, then I will be left destitute due to alimony (the justice system REALLY looks down on men who leave a disabled spouse). So I’m stuck. I realize that my last 30 years were almost complete waste. I was, and am still living in a blue world. but it’s killing me. One day at a time, but it’s still slowly killing me. Sometimes I feel like I am dying a slow miserable death with no way out.

I turn 50 later this year. Do I get a divorce and wind up destitute? Do I remain in my marriage and remain miserable? Or do I just blow my brains out and just be done with this mess I call my life.

I love my kids and part of me still loves my wife, but I now realize that I am nothing more than a financial slave. No better than a pack mule. All I am good for is bringing home a paycheck. Hell, I don’t even want sex anymore.

The only really bright spot has been my career. I have been working in the aerospace industry for the last 26 years and that has been very rewarding for me. it’s about all I have left.

I don’t know what my future holds. None of the choices seem particularly good. I guess I am all out of hope…..

Thanks for reading

IndianaJohn

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Ouch. And not just flippantly said , either. This hurt. You definitely saved a life somewhere out there though. Any guy reading this will be gutted. Don’t mistaken silence or delayed responses from others as a lack of empathy. I don’t quite know where to begin either, but thank you all the same for putting it out there. I read this as soon as you posted it (and wondered on the way home in my car) what I could possibly say?

Would it help if I told you my career is ALL I have? I’m very happy with things as they and wouldn’t change them for anything, and I have friends like everyone else, but you do have something I don’t have – family who DEPEND on you. That’s worth something and forces you to have a *purpose* when there would otherwise not be any. Your only purpose would be your fantastic career. If that were all, you would have to create other purposes for yourself, or the glass would look very empty. That can be exhausting, confusing, and can make you feel like a lost fart in a thunderstorm.

The only reason I don’t have dependents is because I was SO FOCUSSED on it. I almost became a father – twice – myself. Near misses by the hairs on my chin. One of them at 21. I had to work hard NOT to be a husband and father. It was a clear goal. Two accidents would have been regrets right at the beginning….. and not something I regretted after 30 years during a period of serious reevaluation and introspection.

I saw a diagram once illustrating how “love” works.

MEN >> WOMEN >> CHILDREN >> PUPPIES.

It is one-directional, and it never works in reverse.

As men, we are not the receivers of any. We are only relied upon as the givers and providers of it. Expecting it in return is a fantasy. Married or not. THAT is a reality men must come to grips with no matter what. It is stifling and knocks you pretty hard – whether you have dependents or not. You would have to accept it – if you found an exit or not. Perhaps in some way, it worked out better for you after all.

But that’s what “love” is. It’s what you GIVE – even when it doesn’t come back to you. The happiness comes from what you GIVE – to others and yourself. The people we love the most, are the people we give the most to. Women are only made “happy” by the love they GET (where men are concerned). And when they are not *getting*, they are MISERABLE. Give some to yourself once in a while. Buy yourself a killer car. Get a mistress maybe? Take care of YOU as much as you take care of others. Give them 49%… and give yourself 51%. The people we love the most, are the people we give the most to. Make sure you are first on that list, and you will have created your own hope.

My outstretched hand in welcoming you.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Total LeeParticipant 1573]

Hey Brother! IndianaJohn, how do two adult children refuse to leave home? All the kids I know are trying to get away from their parents, so you must have made a nice home for them.

[FreemanParticipant 32]

Be wary of excessive fault-finding and self-criticism. Cults will teach you to do that, and will even try to convince you that you will make yourself more holy by constantly condemning yourself and putting yourself down and feeling guilty about everything. All that really accomplishes is messing up your mind, destroying your self-confidence and self-respect, and making you unable to think clearly or act decisively.

[AposematicParticipant 2671]

The only really bright spot has been my career

Self compassion is really important IJ

Please remember to spoil yourself.

You are a man of rare honour and all MGTOW will salute a man supporting a disabled wife.

Remember, as much as I bitch about women using their marriage certificates as an exquisite tampon,
I will always acknowledge men who follow through “in sickness and in health”.

I am reminded of my own father, who nursed his bride of 53 years through the last 6 years of breast cancer until her death.

Afinogyny.. from the Greek Afino {to abandon/ to set down/ to leave /to allow/ to let } + Gyny {Women} MGHOW’s philosophy to not engage women without “hating them”. Narcorca =Narcissistic Orca typically spouting to a bathroom mirror taking an arms length selfie ; Wallinate describes post wall females whose SMV is terminally negligible New Years resolution "To not make women happy" . Instadestitue: yet another Neologism for Men that cohabit with women that decide to pull the handle of intervention orders.

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