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Anonymous 4 years, 11 months ago.
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Hello everyone. I wanted to introduce myself and say thanks for not only creating this site but for allowing me to participate.
I’m soon to be 40, twice divorced with 2 beautiful daughters from my first marriage. I’m a veteran of the US Air Force and that service took me to many countries where I was able to experience many cultures.As I read through the intro to this site I was stunned to see that it read, nearly word for word, like the life I have led until very recently. It’s like you guys knew me already. A friend told me about the MGTOW movement and I did a little research on the matter. It seem to be hand and glove for me, so far.
My first wife gave me 2 beautiful daughters whom I love and am involved with every day. They currently live with her, but here is a little story:
After our divorce I took custody of our children. At the time my oldest was 4 and the youngest 10 months. I started the process of being a single full-time father then and there. Shortly after I met my second wife and as we became a couple she helped with my daughters. Years later after that, too, failed I continued the care of my kids. As they got older (about a year ago) I asked their mother to step in and help as there were “girl things” that a mom should be involved in. This resulted in my allowing my daughters to live with her full-time. “It was for the best interest of the kids.” Mind you, she never was required nor did she pay me any form of child support whatsoever. Loe and behold 4 months after they moved in with her, I was served with papers. I will be paying a ridiculous amount of child support as I live in TX and make over 80k.I only give this brief story as an example of how I feel this is a good fit for me. I did not know that there was an active group or manosphere that brings like-minded men together. I’m glad I found it. I look forward to learning from and with you guys and hopefully becoming a better man for it.
The pleasure is mine already,
DannyWell here we are, things turned out not as you bargained for.You have 2nd degree burns, that will leave a mark. Good news, you have everything after here. You are clearly wise enough to figure out women are dangerous. What happens with the next stage for you is up to you.
Life is too long to play by someone elses rules....
Anonymous42Hi Daninhtown, Houston? anyway welcome to MGTOW! The glove does “fit”. Appreciation is nowhere to be found in the female cranium, Appreciation is found in the male cranium only. I enjoyed your post, it only confirms and justifies MGTOW thanks!
Welcome Danny,
First, thanks for your service. I’m Dallas now, but lived in Houston for many years back in my younger days. No surprise what your ex did re: child support. It seems there is no level beneath which they are not willing to sink. I don’t have any kids of my own, so never faced child support issues, but wonder about wether it would be worthwhile to explore having her pay you the back child support for that time when you had sole custody and supported ‘her’ children by yourself. Most likely, she’ll find a way to be a victim and slither out of that responsibility for ‘her’ children as well.Still, you got sole custody for what sounds like many years, and in doing so you have certainly avoided the child support you would have been paying her during that time (for kids you would have been lucky to be allowed to visit). The child support that remains is only until they are 18(?). Around here, this is an achievement to be envied.
Of course we know you already. You’re one of us. We’ve all been targets of the same mindset that saturates essentially all female culture these days. There is enormous value in the site in the insights and experiences of others who have been where you’ve been and seen what you’ve seen. One of the most interesting things about this site, at least to me, is how consistent the experience of men is, even though the posts you’ll read here come from men of many different cultures all around the world.
I hope you’ll post some of what you saw/learned in the different places you’ve been.
Welcome to mgtow
Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you
Thanks for the great responses. The story, sadly, goes deeper than that. I am the managing custodial parent of my children. I make the decision of where they live, medical care, religious life, etc. I chose to allow them to live with her because I knew that teaching young ladies how to shave their legs and use feminine products was something I was less than educated on. I didn’t know how to talk about boys because, well, I am one. My own logical progression and the proper emotional one for them was to let them live with their mom.
In our divorce (11 years ago) I actually asked not to receive child support (my mistake) as I was well employed and she was a minimum wage worker. Doing so would hurt her and therefore the kids. I didn’t want that. Tried to be a humanitarian, if you will. We see how that worked out.
After the girls moved in with her I was transferred from Dallas to Houston for a new job. This was a 25k annual pay raise and through the grapevine she heard about it. (Moved to the small town I grew up in, works around a lot of my family) She decided she wanted a piece of my good fortune. So she has sued me to change the custody arrangement, force withheld payments, and placed an injunction that stops me from making said decisions until the case is settled.
She’s 38 and a waitress. No motivation to better herself or take care of our kids. She’s the constant victim. Whenever she loses a job it’s not because she was late 5 times in a month but because “that fat bitch manager had it out for me since the day I started.” That kind of thing.
I bought a Charger RT and it made her jealous since she is driving a beater Ford Taurus. I have a loft apartment and it made her jealous because of her s~~~ty little rent house.
In the end, the laws, courts, and system are stacked against a guy like me. If I can’t get her to settle, I will end up paying $1700 a month plus insurance and half of all of the co-pays and associated expense.
Sometimes when I think about being a MGMOW, my way wants to be north…
To Alaska
In the woods in a cabin.
I’d be better off.Hello Dan,
I can feel your pain. You were the good guy, made the right decisions (as I see it) and were roasted anyways. The courts just do not have any empathy for men it seems. A while back I read a story were a guy from Ontario fled to the Philippines after she went back to the courts and got MORE from the settlement. This is a very large reason MGTOW are a growing number.
She finds out you got a 25000 raise, and now she expects 1700 a month in child support. 1700 x 12 = 20,400 per year… plus insurance. Another couple hundred a month for insurance and copays and guess where we are…???
I would bet 1700 dollars that the month following your youngest daughter’s 18th birthday, your ex will call you demanding to know where the hell her check is. You’ll have to explain to her that child support only lasts as long as you have a child. You laugh at the idea of this now, but I know several men that have had that exact conversation when their child turned 18. Women really are that short sighted, and they really are that self-entitled.
One of those men told me that his wife financed a car for herself about a year before child support ran out…on a 5 year loan. That story ended with a repo man in a tow truck…
Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you
Dani Hope it turns out well for you. Believe I would fight tooth and nail to get them back. That X of yours should get squat. Sounds as though her own children mean little more than a paycheck to her. As far as teaching them girly things, She will teach them through her actions. They are learning how to treat daddy now. I am sorry if you take offense but I disagree with this line in your intro: “It was for the best interest of the kids.”
A divorce is between A man and a woman. Insist the state butt out. No CS was ordered Originally. I would never agree to any of this. I would not sign nor consent. A contract must have the participants agreement to be valid. If they told me I must sign. I would sign my name then clearly print: Under Duress ucc 1-207 without prejudice. No contract signed Under Duress is valid. Ask what crime you have committed and when was the trial as you must have missed them giving you due process. Any dispute over $20 you have the right to a jury trial. Court ordered CS is usually funded and paid through the state. This makes CS public use of those funds. I refused for 13 years to pay through the state. This is in the 5th amendment: nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation. I was finally asked to show cause why I should not be charged with Indirect contempt for failure to pay CS. I represented myself no lawyer. The result was case dismissed for good cause. The court system hates pro-Se litigants especially ones who would ask why are you ignoring the constitution while steeling my private property.
There is many ways to attack this. You may choose not to fight at all, or insist it’s a done deal. I say go your own way and enjoy the outcome.
I was bound to be misunderstood, and I laugh at those who misunderstand me. Kind mockery at the well intentioned, but unfettered cruelty towards those would be prison guards of my creative possibilities. This so as to learn as much from misunderstanding as from understanding. Taking pleasure in worthy opponents and making language fluid and flowing like a river yet pointed and precise as a dagger. Contradicts the socialistic purpose of language and makes for a wonderful linguistic dance, A verbal martial art with constant parries that hone the weapon that is the two edged sword of my mouth.
Danny, I found out the hard way how upside down the system is here in Texas. When my ex and I got to court, I was respectful, and honest, and it did me no good. I might as well have walked into court and screamed “F~~~ you judge c~~~~~~~~~!”
The deck is stacked. I just look at the financial loss as happiness payments.
Ed
@daninhtown Hello and welcome! Brutal $$ituation, but you seem really upbeat otherwise! That you’re with the Air Force is supremely cool. Pilot? Teach me to fly? I took a few lessons and landed my first plane in the pilot seat successfully. Will never get used to the foot pedals though. They are designed ass backwards. In any case, make yourself at home.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.Welcome daninhtown. First – thanks for your service sir! The govmnt owes you for your time!
Very sorry to hear of your situation. I am sure your daughters appreciate all you have done / are doing for them.
<RANT MODE ON>
Something that has always frosted my nuggets is how society thinks of single dads as compared to single moms. You always hear people fawning over single moms and giving them special services, attention, sympathy, work-time off to be a single mom.
Do you hear any of that for single dads??? NO!! Man that p~~~es me off!! I said it earlier in a post somewhere here, but if I ever am financially able, I would do every thing I can to help single dads.
If you have a vagina and are a single parent – you are a hard worker, a good person, pillar of the community and people will roll the red carpet out for you.
If you have a penis and are a single parent – you are a pedophile, deadbeat, lazy, drug addict, barnacle of society, on the dole and people turn their back on you.
<RANT MODE OFF>
"I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do! That is character!"
~ Theodore Roosevelt
Anonymous11Hi D. and welcome to our little corner of sanity and brotherhood. You’re a very strong man, and your children are fortunate to have such a father.
Even though I’ve never been married and do not carry the same battle scars as you guys do. I and others like me who taken the single and dating many women course throughout our life also have a different and eerily similar set of experiences that we share. I also felt at home here too. We are being validated as not being alone which is worth more than can ever be imagined. You will learn a lot of valuable information from everyone here as there are some great brains among the many talented men involved here.
To unencumbered; I’ve actually always gotten a lot of good feedback from people about being a single father. It was only after I let them move back with their mom that I got negative statements. Kinda sucks.
The crazy bitch told me on the phone the other day that she was going to ask that I pay CS until they are 21, not 18. It took a few seconds to get the car under control and finally catch my breath after laughing so hard. I made it adamantly clear that that the day after our oldest turns 18 the payments would drop by 50% and stop the day after the youngest has her 18th. CB said that if they were in college I would have to keep supporting them to which I replied “I’ll be paying their way through anyway, so why does it matter? I don’t see you paying books, labs, and tuition waiting tables. It stops at 18. No further discussion needed.”
The s~~~ these women thinks their vagina entitles them to. I just hope my girls know better when they grow up.
Thank you very much for your service. I have a rather dire question that is related to that. Have you ever noticed any women trying to get with you strictly because you are a military veteran? What I mean is, have you ever had any try to reap you of your fantastic benefits?
The reason I ask is because my best friend, who is my age (26) just got out of the Air Force almost a year ago. I fear that a woman may do that very thing to him. He’s “seeing” (not dating) one now, and she seems great and a good fit for him…but then again, I’ve heard horror stories of women merely in it not only for the money, but for the benefits as well. I’m not exactly sure how to tell him to be careful other than to use those words. I figured maybe if you had any good advice, I could pass it on to him.
Unfortunately for me, I don’t get benefits of any sort. I’m an honorably discharged vet, not retired. During my time of service they basically told you to f~~~ off if you voluntarily separated.
But to your point, yes. I see this all of the time. They jump on my Southwest Asia Service Medal like like an ex-wife on a pay check. But once they find out I don’t get any bennies, they fade away. I have a buddy that does get benefits and he pulls tail left and right, but once they start trying to milk him he gives them the boot.
I’m kind of hoping my buddy goes that way, too. I think he does. I know he talks to several women in the Philippines who have a quite obvious “thing” for him, but I’ve heard even worse stories about those kind of women simply getting with the guy to get a citizenship. I don’t think he’ll fall for any of that, but I can’t help but worry sometimes, heh.
Dani, I meant nothing negative towards you personally. Reading about These situations sort of riles me up.
I am glad you found your way here. This place has helped me in dealing with anger more constructively.
I have tried to control my bitter feelings toward the court system but that’s an area I have a weakness in because of my own situation. When they steal from you while at the same time calling you a criminal or deadbeat that sort of ruffles my feathers.
I was bound to be misunderstood, and I laugh at those who misunderstand me. Kind mockery at the well intentioned, but unfettered cruelty towards those would be prison guards of my creative possibilities. This so as to learn as much from misunderstanding as from understanding. Taking pleasure in worthy opponents and making language fluid and flowing like a river yet pointed and precise as a dagger. Contradicts the socialistic purpose of language and makes for a wonderful linguistic dance, A verbal martial art with constant parries that hone the weapon that is the two edged sword of my mouth.
Idk about the States, but the way it works in Canada, child support can go on for much more longer than when the kids hit 18. Of course, if the kids aren’t making any effort in getting either a stable job or if they are not in school, the CS can be dropped immediately. You have the responsibility to support your kids as they are moving towards being financially autonomous. That being said, it’s not the mother’s privilege to decide whether or not you are paying child support at that point, it’s the kids who decide since they are 18. Educating your children becomes primordial regarding their expectations towards you aswell as your expectations towards them.
To make this post a bit more personal, I’m 22, currently working 30 hours/week. My parents are divorced. When my mom decided to move out of the apartment we lived in to buy her house, she told me it was time for me to move out. Knowing that there’s no point in buying a house with an extra room just for me to move out in a couple of years, I didn’t bitch about it. She said the money my dad was giving for child support would go for paying the rent and that she would take the same amount out of her wallet. On the other hand, I had to pay for my cellphone, which I was already paying at the time, electricity, insurance, food, clothing and anything else. A year later she told me that my dad wanted to stop paying for child support. Knowing that he’s making a lot less than my mom, I knew that I couldn’t just take their money like that anymore. We came to the agreement that we would progressively decrease the amount over the course of 3 years before dropping child support entirely. She sent the plan to my dad. He could have either cleared child support in one shot by paying something like 8k or by agreeing to slowly decrease the amount. He sadly hasn’t replied and every time I talk about money he changes to another subject. So for the next 3 years, my mom is gonna stick to the plan she came up with. Only difference is that the extra money, that I shouldn’t have if my dad accepted her proposition, will go in a different bank account. Once the plan is over, she will transfer all the funds into my account and I’ll be free to do whatever I want with the money, whether I keep it for myself or give it back.
Anyway, just know that your kids are probably in control once they are 18 so you could have to deal with them instead of the mom, which is a huge plus in most cases. Oh forgot to mention, you can request that the money goes right in their bank account… not hers 😉
Anonymous42Hey key, I learned private pilot in a Katana, foot pedals are useless during cruise, the Katana has a joy stick between your legs, more fun than your dick! Had crab on final to slow down for a Cessna.
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